Songbird
by SydneyAlice
Summary: On the eve of a wedding, a chance encounter in a piano bar leads to a weekend of passion. When faced with the consequences, will Bella and Edward overcome their differences and focus on what's really important in life? AH. Rated M.
1. A Storm Bubbling Up From the Sea

**AN: This story is for DeeDee. :) **

**Chapter title is from "Closer" by Kings of Leon.**

**I do not own **_**Twilight**_**, Fleetwood Mac, or The Fairmont Olympic Hotel.**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

_**A Storm Bubbling Up From the Sea**_

* * *

_***BPOV***_

The red neon numbers of the alarm clock were taunting me.

_1:15 AM_

I sighed heavily and rolled onto my back, frustrated and jet-lagged and trying to remember why I ever agreed to this.

Alice and I had been ten years old when we sat in my tree house and promised to be each other's maids-of-honor on our respective wedding days. I think we even pinky swore.

_Are pinky swears admissible in court?_

I threw back the satin covers and walked over to the massive French doors that opened out onto the terrace. I didn't bother opening the doors, knowing the frigid Seattle air would rattle my bones. Instead, I looked through the glass and out across the vista of the Seattle skyline – the majestic Space Needle dazzling in the distance. It was truly a beautiful attraction – especially at night – and I was ashamed that I was a permanent resident of Seattle and had never once visited the landmark. Maybe I could rectify that situation this weekend.

I was wide awake despite tonight's late rehearsal dinner, which had gone according to plan except for the rogue groomsman. Jasper's cousin had failed to show to either the rehearsal or to the family dinner, and while I would have been pissed, the groom had shrugged off his disappearance as nothing out of the ordinary. Jasper had assured the bride that his cousin would be there tomorrow, and I was once again impressed that Jasper Whitlock was so efficient at taming Alice's Bridezilla tendencies.

He was good for her, and watching them together throughout the night only served as a reminder that I had chosen my career over everything else, and it was my fault that I was alone.

I was too restless to go back to bed, so I ran a brush through my hair, threw on some clothes, and decided to get a drink at the piano bar downstairs. I grabbed my room key and wallet and shoved both into my back pocket as I shut the door behind me. I ignored the elevator and decided to walk the spiraling staircase that was the focal point of the Fairmont Olympic Hotel. Chandeliers hung gracefully from the ceilings and the walls and furniture were adorned with rich hues of gold and red. Simple yet splendid. Classic yet sophisticated.

It was totally gorgeous and totally Alice.

When I pinky swore all those years ago, I was pretty sure I imagined myself as the maid-of-honor in a much cozier setting. A small country church. A lush, green park. Or, better yet, someone's backyard.

Had I known that _this_ had been Alice's wedding plan, I would have kept my pinky to myself.

Alice knew better than to put me through this. She knew I was a nutcase. I was awkward and clumsy and the shoes she chose were about five inches taller than I was completely comfortable with. I hated crowds, and I certainly hated having eyes on me. This is why I worked as a reporter at the _Seattle Times. _I could hide behind the byline and never have to show my face. Thankfully, Alice is drop dead gorgeous, so all eyes will be on her tomorrow. However, I was pretty sure that I would fall at least once in those hooker heels, and then _someone's_ eyes would invariably find me.

But I loved her, and for her, I would endure the looks and the heels and the fancy hotel.

The piano bar was fairly empty, which wasn't surprising given the late hour. I was disappointed that the piano player had obviously called it a night. Soothing music was exactly what I needed to relax me. I ordered my drink from a bartender who looked exhausted, but still managed to find the strength to blatantly flirt with me. I laughed and batted my eyelashes, all in a veiled attempt for access to free drinks and to the sterling white piano that was nestled in the corner of the bar. It took three martinis and my phone number (which was actually Alice's…she owed me after all), but finally, I found myself sitting on the piano bench, my fingers drifting aimlessly across the keys.

This wasn't like me at all. With my aversion to the public eye, you'd think that I would have been nervous about performing in a piano bar at one in the morning. But the place was practically empty…and my loneliness, my exhaustion, and my three martinis made me bold. I turned on the microphone, and began playing the opening verse of Fleetwood Mac's "Songbird," the very first song I had ever learned to play on piano.

"_For you there'll be no crying  
For you the sun will be shining  
Cause I feel that when I'm with you  
It's alright, I know it's right…"_

I closed my eyes, allowing the music to soothe my tension. I had made it to the final chorus when I felt someone's eyes on me. It was the most incredible sensation – instinct alerting me to the penetrating stare of some stranger in the darkness of the bar. I slowly opened my eyes, and my fingers slipped off the keys as gleaming emerald eyes locked with mine.

He was seated at a table just a few feet away from me. The tie of his suit was undone, as were the first couple buttons of his shirt. He was gorgeous – tousled bronze hair, chiseled jaw, and devastatingly handsome. I watched as his long finger lazily trailed across his glass, his eyes never leaving mine as I struggled to remember the notes and the words to a song that I had played since I was five years old.

His stare was unnerving.

Intimidating.

Hungry.

Suddenly, he rose from his seat – his eyes never leaving mine as he picked up his glass and walked over to the piano. I broke the spell, willing my eyes to concentrate on the keys beneath my fingers. His scent washed over me, stunning my senses and clouding my mind. Without a word, he sat down on the bench. Somehow, instinct took over, and I was able to finish the song.

Silence hung in the air between us, and I inhaled sharply as his hand brushed my hair away from my shoulder. He leaned in closer.

"Sing something else," he whispered – his voice velvet and smooth against my ear. His hot breath caused goosebumps to erupt on my skin, and I trembled as his fingers brushed across mine.

So I sang, paying no real attention to the words, as we gazed at each other – completely mesmerized and spellbound – neither of us willing to look away. I had no idea how long we sat there while I sang and played, but it was apparently too long for the suffering bartender, and he bitterly announced last call.

The man stood up from the piano bench and offered me his hand. I tore my eyes away from his face long enough to look at his hand. I was too captivated, too lonely, and probably a little too drunk to accept this man's outstretched hand.

Instinctively, I knew this.

But I was powerless to stop it.

Like a moth to a flame, I slipped my hand into his – and with that initial contact I felt a shock of electricity that stunned me beyond all rational reason. It was potent – the feel of his skin against mine – and suddenly, I wanted his hands on me…._everywhere_.

"Come with me, Songbird," he coaxed softly.

And so I did.

* * *

***EPOV***

She was gorgeous with deep brown eyes and long wavy brunette hair that was just _begging_ to be wrapped around my fingers. She was dressed appallingly in some thin 80s t-shirt and skinny jeans. This woman should be in satins and silks, all of which should be lying in a pool at the bottom of my bed.

She moaned when my mouth crashed against hers – possessive and hungry. Her eyes…her hair…her smell. All seemingly innocent and insignificant qualities. But when combined with that voice – her sultry voice that dripped with honey – I was sure that the universe had sent her just to torture me into submission.

Not sleeping with her was _not_ an option.

I couldn't keep my hands off her, not for a single second. If I wasn't kissing her, I was sucking on her neck. The pressure against her skin was sure to leave a mark, and the notion made me insane. I was marking her…leaving a visual reminder that – for this one night – she was _mine_.

"You're entirely too overdressed," she breathed as her talented hands made quick work of my shirt. Her fingernails grazed along my chest, and I growled low in my chest.

"You should do something about that," I groaned as her hands slid the jacket and shirt down my shoulders and tossed them onto the floor.

"Open those eyes, Songbird," I panted hoarsely, lifting her against the wall. "I want to see you."

* * *

It had been a long time since I'd kissed any woman as softly as I was kissing her now, and I wondered if I would even be capable of such tenderness with anyone else.

I knew the answer was no.

I didn't do tender. I didn't do sweet. But for the gorgeous girl in my arms, I made an exception.

Just this once.

"Come to bed, Songbird," I whispered as I lifted her into my arms.

She snuggled against my shoulder and closed her eyes. I carried her over to her unmade bed, bringing the blanket around her. I laid down beside of her and adjusted the covers against her creamy skin. I watched as she snuggled against the pillow, her heart-shaped face relaxing into a peaceful sleep. Her lips were slightly swollen from my assault, and I gently traced her lower lip with the tip of my finger.

She really was a beautiful woman.

I looked at her left hand and saw that her ring finger was bare. I probably should have looked there before I slept with her, but it seemed a moot point now. Was she single? I found the prospect to be unbelievable, but she was obviously alone tonight. I wondered if – like me – she'd had trouble sleeping, and the bar had been a welcome distraction in the middle of the night.

She sighed softly in her sleep, and I was reminded of what an alluring distraction it had provided.

The night had been complete shit. I'd been stuck at the courthouse much longer than I'd expected, and I'd missed the rehearsal dinner. It was times like these that I was happy that Jazz had chosen Emmett his best man. I was unreliable and irresponsible, and I couldn't blame the guy for granting the best man distinction to someone else. It was ironic that he'd chosen my brother considering how big of an ass he could be and how immature he was at the dinner table. But, obviously, Jasper had made the right call, considering I couldn't even make it to the hotel on time. I felt like a jerk for letting him down. I'd apologized, and he'd shrugged it off. I assured him I'd be there tomorrow – when it counted the most. I'd checked into the hotel and immediately made my way to the bar.

I gazed down at her sleeping form, realizing that she had been – without a doubt – the very best part of my night. It was sad that I hadn't even asked her name, and it was a shame that I'd never get the chance.

"Sweet dreams, Songbird," I whispered softly, brushing my lips against hers one more time.

I granted myself one final look at the beautiful girl before opening her door, letting it close softly behind me.

* * *

***BPOV***

The alarm resonated in my head, and I slapped blindly at the offensive clock as I rolled over onto my side. I winced as I stretched my arms above my head. My head was pounding, and my thighs were aching.

My eyes flashed open as images from the previous night flooded my mind.

I remembered three martinis.

I remembered the piano.

I remembered green eyes.

I slowly turned my head, expecting to see those same green eyes staring back at me. Or, at least snoring next to me.

The bed was empty.

I slowly climbed out of bed and turned on the hot water of the shower. I stepped in and allowed the water to sting my body and wash away the remnants of the night. As I washed my hair and shaved my legs, I couldn't help but feel ashamed. I didn't do one night stands. Ever.

I didn't know his name. I didn't even know if he'd used a condom.

As I let the scalding water flow across my skin, my shame swiftly turned to disbelief. I could remember the desperation of our kisses. I remembered his hands being all over me and causing little spikes of electricity to flow through my skin.

After that is when things started to get fuzzy.

I vaguely recalled being carried to bed, so I had to assume that was him. I remembered him calling me something. Not my name, obviously, but it was something sweet…

And then my disbelief turned into rage.

This man had ravaged me senseless and then just…._left_? What kind of cold, heartless bastard does that?

Thankfully, I'd never have to see him again.

I was still wallowing in my stupid lack of judgment as I made my way down to the bridal suite. Alice and Jasper had ignored all traditional beliefs, opting to spend the night together and treat everyone to something she deemed the "Bridal Breakfast." It was just like the rehearsal dinner…only at an ungodly hour and with scrambled eggs.

"What's wrong?" Alice's voice barked at me as I walked through the door leading into the suite. Jasper immediately handed me a coffee, and I attempted a smile in thanks.

"Good morning, sunshine," I murmured tiredly. "Please don't yell. What makes you think something is wrong?"

"Maybe because you look exhausted," Jasper's best man quipped from the far side of the table. His plate was overflowing with eggs and bacon, and the smell was revolting.

"Rough night," I muttered as I sat down next to him. I grabbed a piece of toast from the tray and attempted to chew it.

"You too?" Emmett laughed, and I closed my eyes as the booming sound of his laughter caused my head to pulsate. Normally, I really liked Emmett. He was fun and cursed like a sailor. This morning, however, I might just kill him. I picked up the butter knife and eyed it longingly before using it for its intended purpose. The buttered toast settled my stomach immediately.

"What is it with the members of my wedding party thinking it is okay to get totally smashed before the most important day of my life?" Alice whined as she flitted around the room. Jasper caught her in his arms, and it reminded me of a net catching a butterfly. He whispered soothingly in her ear as she buried her head against his chest.

I turned toward Emmett who was watching the scene unfold, and while we loved them both, neither of us could resist rolling our eyes in disgust.

"I didn't get _smashed,_" I mumbled at Emmett. "I remember most of it…almost _all_ of it…"

"Hmm," Emmett mused as he chewed his pancake. "Did you get laid?"

I grimaced at the memory. "_Laid_ as in I was horizontal when it happened?"

Emmett raised an eyebrow, and I could see that he was intrigued. "Not necessarily. Vertical works, too."

"Then yes," I admitted with a disgusted sigh.

"Well, well…" Emmett chuckled as he finished gulping his juice. "I had no idea you were so wild, Bella baby, and I mean that as a compliment."

"I'm not, usually…" I argued pathetically.

Emmett laughed as he poured himself another glass of juice. "What is it about this hotel? My brother – he's the groomsman you've yet to meet – also found himself in the same predicament last night."

"Ahh yes," I muttered as I took another bite of toast. "The rogue groomsman. Where is he this morning?"

"He's on his way. He's apparently having trouble recovering from the hot sex he had last night. _His_ words, not mine. Lucky bastard." He grumbled as he wiped his face with his napkin. "This hotel is the _shit_. I wonder if I'll find something at the reception that will satisfy my taste buds."

I was pretty certain he wasn't talking about the dinner.

"Bella…" Alice smiled adorably in my direction.

My radar instantly registered that this involved me doing something I really didn't want to do. It was easy to tell with Alice. She was normally a sweet person in general, but when she wanted you to do something, the manipulation was masterful.

"I was wondering if you'd try on your dress – just one last time?"

Emmett chuckled and I glared in his direction.

"Today is your wedding day, Alice," I reminded her sweetly. "If the dress doesn't fit me by now, it isn't going to fit. Besides, I tried it on yesterday, and it was fine. You said so yourself."

"But I didn't see it with the shoes," Alice whined. "Please please, Bella…."

I could not _wait_ until this damn wedding was over. I threw my napkin onto the table and groaned, "Fine. Where is it? And where the hell is Rosalie?"

"Rosalie is dealing with the hotel wedding planner. Apparently, there was a problem with the music, and Rose offered to go kick someone's ass," Emmett explained, a note of awe in his voice. "Hey, is Rosalie single?"

I rolled my eyes as Alice led me to the changing room. The room looked as if a wedding superstore had exploded in this tiny space. It was full of dresses and tuxedos, and I wondered idly if the wedding party would be watching each other get dressed today.

"Just come out when you're ready," Alice grinned happily, closing the door behind her.

This would be the tenth time that I tried on this dress. At least it was pretty. It was an ice-blue halter dress that clung to me, accentuating what few curves I possessed. It made me feel sexy and powerful.

Powerful, that is, until I strapped the hooker heels onto my feet. They were pretty, too, I supposed. I was just scared to walk in them, and my best friend was forcing me to wear them in public.

I really hated her today.

I looked at myself in the mirror and pulled my hair into a twist, just to get the full effect. It was then that I noticed the small bite mark on the side of my neck. I gasped as my finger ghosted along the purplish bruise.

The bastard had _marked_ me.

The bride was going to be so pissed.

I dropped my hair as I made my way back into the bridal suite. "Alice, I'm going to need some concealer, I think."

I heard the distinct sound of a fork crashing loudly against a plate. Every head in the room turned toward the table, and I stopped breathing when I saw the blazing green eyes of the rogue groomsman.


	2. A Promise Not Forgotten

**AN: Overwhelmed by the reviews doesn't quite cover it. Love you all!**

**In an effort to be fair and balanced in my devotion to all things Twilight, I'm trying to write a Jacob that I can actually stand. You'll meet him here. :)**

**Chapter title comes from Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. The quotation in Bella's toast is from the movie **_**Wedding Crashers**_**.**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

_**A Promise Not Forgotten**_

* * *

***EPOV***

Surely I was hallucinating. I'd had three hours of sleep, after all, and I was sporting a slight hangover. Visual disturbances were common in such conditions, right?

I blinked rapidly and dropped my fork against my plate. Every head in the room turned toward me as I cleared my throat. I tried to act nonchalant – as if I wasn't all affected by the sight of the girl standing in the doorway, wearing ice-blue satin and a killer pair of heels. She was glaring at me with those big brown eyes, and it would have been hot…except for the fact that she looked completely pissed.

I rocked her world last night. What the hell did she have to be pissed about?

I smirked at her as I picked up my fork, never breaking eye contact as I stabbed at my eggs. I raised my fork, and I had the satisfaction of watching her eyes glaze over as I brought the fork to my mouth.

My brother – usually so unobservant of his surroundings – finally faked a cough, effectively breaking the trance. I shot a glance in his direction, and his face was smug.

_The bastard knows._

"Why do you need concealer?" Alice asked as she surveyed the girl's face. "I don't see anything."

"Do you want me to wear my hair up?" she asked softly.

_God, that voice._

"Yes," Alice replied hesitantly.

"Then I'm going to need some concealer. It seems that I have a…._blemish_….on my neck," the girl mumbled quietly.

I chuckled, and her head whipped around in my direction. It was very Linda Blair a la _The Exorcist_ and I couldn't help but laugh aloud.

I watched as she grabbed Alice's arm and pulled her into the adjacent room. I laughed before pouring myself a glass of juice. Jasper made his way over to the table and sat down next to me, effectively sandwiching me between him and Emmett. I happily continued eating my breakfast as I pretended to ignore the knowing glances coming from each of them.

"You slept with Bella," Emmett stated matter-of-factly.

"Is that her name?" I replied lazily as I popped a strawberry in my mouth. How appropriate. Beautiful Bella.

Jasper groaned as he held his head in his hands. This wedding had turned him into such a girl. Brandon was a sweet girl and cute as hell, but I wasn't sure that any woman was worth my balls.

"Alice will kill you," Jazz moaned through his hands. "Why, Edward? Why her? Why today? Now shit's gonna be awkward, and I'll have to deal with a pissed off bride."

I shrugged in defense as I grabbed another strawberry.

"You're a hotshot attorney, and all you can do is shrug?" Emmett cackled. "Dude, you slept with the maid-of-honor….vertically, from what I understand. Surely you have something eloquent and poetic to say?"

My shitty morning had just improved substantially. Not only did I get to see the girl wearing a sexy dress and stilettos, but she had obviously mentioned our escapades to my brother.

"Hmm…" I mused as I swallowed the remainder of my juice. "You know me. I never kiss and tell."

Emmett nearly choked on his bacon. "Since when?"

Jasper was rubbing his temples with his fingers.

"Would you relax?" I muttered in his direction. "The fact that I slept with the maid-of-honor – and quite thoroughly enjoyed it, I might add – has absolutely nothing to do with your precious wedding. I didn't even know she was _in_ the wedding."

"You might have known if you'd bothered to show up to the rehearsal," Emmett grumbled between bites.

"True," I muttered guiltily, but I also knew the fact that Bella was Alice's best friend wouldn't have stopped me from trying to get into her pants.

Of course, I didn't admit this aloud.

"Besides, I'm a groomsman," I argued. "Aren't hook-ups within the wedding party fairly customary?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't usually happen until the reception."

We heard a door slam, and Emmett's voice trailed off as a tall, busty blonde suddenly appeared in the entryway. My brother's face suddenly brightened as he openly gawked at the voluptuous bridesmaid. She was spilling out of the top of her blouse, which was nice to look at but seemed a little desperate to me. Emmett, however, was loving the view.

"You know, Em..." I smirked. "There's this story about pots and kettles and how they're black."

"I haven't slept with her yet," Emmett murmured with anticipation. "But I'd love to. Vertically, horizontally, diagonally, upside-down…"

"Where are the girls?" she snapped angrily.

"Looking for concealer," Jasper whispered softly as he pointed toward the door.

She narrowed her eyes in confusion before stomping out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

"She seems fun," I noted as I threw my napkin onto my plate and rose from the table. "So, what's the agenda? Do I have time to get a massage before we do this thing?"

Jasper's eyes were wide with fright. "Please, for the love of God, don't be late. I'm begging you, Edward."

I rolled my eyes. "Dude, I'm just going to get a massage. I won't even leave the hotel. What time do you want me here?"

"Pictures are at four," Alice said as she breezed back into the room. To my great disappointment, she was alone. "You need to be here at three to get dressed. If you are late, I will hunt you down and kill you. Are we clear?"

"Crystal," I grinned as I walked over and kissed her cheek. Either I was forgiven for the hickey, or Bella had kept her mouth shut. I suspected it was the latter.

"I'll come with you," Emmett said as he tossed a grape into his mouth. "How about it, Jazz? You look like you could use a massage. Maybe relieve some pre-marital tension?"

Seeking permission, Jasper turned toward the bride.

"Fine, just don't be late." Alice sighed heavily as she turned toward the sofa and unzipped a massive bag. "I have to find some concealer. My maid-of-honor allowed some bastard to put a massive hickey on her neck. She may have to wear her hair down after all." She pulled a lipstick tube out of her bag and twisted it. Alice scrutinized the shade and immediately tossed it back into the bag. "Can you believe it? Of _all_ the nights for Bella to have sex. She said it was pretty good, though, so I guess that's all that matters."

My head shot up in disbelief.

_Pretty Good? She said it was pretty good?_

"It was amazing," I muttered under my breath. Jasper's eyes widened and Emmett cackled loudly as they each grabbed me by the arm and rushed me out of the suite.

* * *

***BPOV***

I was sipping a Sprite, desperately wishing it was something stronger but vowing to never drink another drop of alcohol for as long as I lived. Alec, my hair stylist, was standing behind me, wrapping strands of my hair around a curling iron. I watched in fascination as he unwound the iron and the curl bounced right into place.

I could never make my hair do that.

The concealer had done a decent job of hiding the mark, but I still wasn't comfortable with the up-do that Alice had requested. It only took thirty minutes of groveling to convince her otherwise.

"I want a name," Rosalie said as she flipped through a magazine while her own stylist worked her magic. In a show of solidarity, Rose had decided to wear her hair down, as well. Of course, she had supermodel hair – all blonde and wavy and shiny. Mine was brown and flat and blah.

"No, you don't," I muttered tiredly as I glanced at Alice. She was across the room in the pedicure chair and well out of earshot. "It's just too embarrassing."

"Fine," Rose mumbled. "But at least give me details. It _must_ have been good if that badass hickey on your neck is any indication."

My forehead creased as I gently caressed the mark. "You'd think I'd remember that happening, wouldn't you?"

Rose shrugged. "Not necessarily, and stop touching it. We almost used the whole tube of concealer to cover it the first time."

I quickly dropped my hand down to my lap.

"Well, at least you have a date for the wedding," Rosalie remarked. "I'll be stuck dancing with one of the Cullen boys."

At least now I knew his name.

_Edward Cullen. _

The rogue groomsman.

"I don't have a date," I said with a shake of my head, earning me a glare of disapproval from Alec.

"He won't be at the wedding?" Rosalie asked.

"Oh, he'll be at the wedding," I muttered miserably. Wasn't it enough that I had to endure, not to mention _wear_, the shame of my one-night stand? Did I _really_ have to look at him all night long?

I could tell that Rose was curious, but she didn't ask. That was the great thing about Rosalie. She rarely pushed for details. The hickey on my neck was just too odd of an occurrence to _completely_ ignore, but at least she wasn't pressing for specifics.

Three hours later, we were all perfectly primped and ready for pictures. True to their word, the boys were on time, and I faked a call out on the balcony just to avoid him. I could only imagine how hot he'd look in his tux, and I knew I'd completely lose it if I looked into those blazing green eyes. Instead, I concentrated on deep breathing and not falling in the death traps that Alice called shoes.

The elevator ride down to the Spanish Ballroom was awkward, but still, I remained strong and didn't once look his way. But I knew he was staring at me. I could feel his eyes on me, and I was ashamed to admit how much that excited me.

Pictures were pure torture as the photographer placed us in some of the most ridiculous poses. Thankfully, I was never close enough to Edward to have to look his way or make idle chit-chat.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Rosalie whispered when the photographer finally released us. "You look like you're ready to vomit."

_Shit._

"It's time," Gianna, the hotel's wedding planner, announced. She was speaking quietly into a headset and herding us into an adjacent room just to the left of the ballroom. I chanced a glance at the seated guests and tried to quickly count the number of heads in the crowd. I'd counted all the way to sixty when I felt a hand on the small of my back. It was that same tingly electric jolt that I felt last night, and I jumped in surprise.

"Aren't you even going to say hello?" His voice was soft and hypnotic, and I trembled as his breath tickled my ear. I bit my lip and stared straight ahead, ignoring him completely.

"It's showtime!" Emmett clapped his hands. "All boys to the front!"

I exhaled a shaky breath as his hand disappeared, and I resumed my counting of heads just to keep my mind occupied and my breathing under control. Suddenly, the music started, and Rose made her way down the aisle.

"Bella!" Alice's frantic whisper interrupted my inner turmoil, and I suddenly remembered my duties.

"What?" I asked softly. Rose was almost to the altar.

"I'm doing the right thing, right? I mean, I love Jazz…and I know he loves me. But…is this right?"

Frankly, I was a little panicked. Not once in all of the years I'd known Alice had she ever questioned her relationship with Jasper. They'd been together so long that it was hard to remember a time when they weren't _Jasper and Alice_.

"Bella, you're up," Gianna whispered with a smile as she pointed toward the ballroom.

"Back off, bitch!" Alice snapped irritably as she grabbed my hand. "I am having a moment, and I need my best friend."

Gianna slinked back into the shadows, muttering frantically into her headset.

I took a deep breath and pulled her out of view of the wedding guests. "Alice, look at me. Are you listening?" Her eyes were darting around the room, and I feared she was looking for the nearest exit. "Breathe, Alice. You're just nervous."

"Tell me this is right," she begged softly.

I was no expert on relationships. My parents had divorced when I was twelve, so that pretty much skewed my views on love and marriage. My own relationships – what few I'd had – had been purely physical with absolutely no emotion behind them. What did I know about happy ever after?

But I did know my best friend, and I knew how much she adored the man standing at the altar. So I did what any good reporter would do.

I plastered a smile onto my face and made it up as I went along.

"Alice," I said, "Jasper loves you. He worships the ground you walk on, and I know you feel the same. I can't think of any other couple who are more _right_ for each other."

"Really?" Her voice was shaking with relieved emotion.

"Really," I smiled softly. "And he's waiting for you. He's ready to make you his forever. Isn't that the most incredible feeling in the world – knowing that _that_ man is going to love you until the day you die?"

She sniffled quietly. "It is. It's incredible."

"So let's do this," I smiled.

Suddenly, her face split into the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen, and just like that, my sweet Alice was back.

I nodded to Gianna, who sighed with relief as she ushered me through the door. I ignored the confused but smiling faces that watched me as I made my way down the aisle. I was so overjoyed with my ability to walk a straight line that I made the mistake of looking toward the altar, and when I did, I found myself staring into the ravenous eyes of Edward Cullen.

I _should_ have reminded myself that this man was an arrogant ass. I _should_ have looked away. I _should_ have focused on anything but him. But the intensity of his expression actually grounded me, and for the first time today, I felt blissfully calm.

I did force my eyes elsewhere when the wedding march began, but as soon as Alice placed her hand in Jasper's and everyone had taken their seats, I was once again swept into the web that was Edward's steely gaze. His eyes raked over my body, and I felt my stomach tighten in want.

Vows were spoken. Rings were exchanged. Jasper kissed the bride.

I'm sure it was all very beautiful.

Sadly, I couldn't remember a moment of it.

* * *

The wedding flowed effortlessly into the reception, and before I knew it, it was time for me to give the toast. I was a writer, so naturally, I'd written my speech well in advance and I'd practiced it in the car on the way to and from work for the past week. It was a little humorous and a little sappy, and I rarely did sappy. But I could appreciate the fact that this was a day that warranted it, and I loved them both, so I sucked it up and wrote something sweet for my best friend and her new husband.

The DJ handed me the microphone, and I nervously rose from my seat, willing my eyes to remain on Alice's face as I delivered my speech to the crowd.

"When Alice and I were ten years old," I began, "she and I made a pinky promise that, someday, she would be my maid-of-honor and that I would be hers. However, if I'd known that she'd planned to strap me in five-inch stilettos when that day arrived, I probably would have found a new best friend."

"They aren't _five_ inches," Alice muttered, but her face was beaming with happiness. The crowd chuckled, and there were even a few whistles – the loudest of which came from the head table.

When I wasn't looking at him, it was so much easier to ignore him.

"A few years ago, Alice and I were watching a movie where the maid-of-honor had to give a toast. She said that "true love is the soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another." At the time, I remember thinking that the line was incredibly cheesy, but it was apparently unforgettable because it was the very first thing I thought of when I sat down to write my toast. That statement personifies Jasper and Alice and their devotion to each other. I've seen very few instances of true love in my life, but trust me when I say that Jasper and Alice have found it in each other. I love you both. Congratulations."

After the applause, everyone raised their glass to toast the happy couple, and I fell back against my seat in a relieved slump while Jasper and Alice shared their first dance. Forgetting my no-alcohol stance, I took a sip of my champagne and glanced at Rose – whose head was close to Emmett's. She had a sly grin on her face, and his arm was around the back of her chair. He was whispering against her ear, and she giggled.

_Rosalie never giggles._

That's when I knew I was screwed. I had been counting on Emmett when it came time for dancing. I watched in despair as he and Rose made their way to the dance floor, leaving me and Edward alone at the head table.

Thankfully, he was _way_ down there.

"Honey, please explain to me why you are sitting here looking pitiful when there is a fine piece of male specimen at the far end of the table who can't keep this eyes off you."

_Jake!_

Jake was an entertainment reporter for the _Times_ and my very best friend at the office. He was cute and funny, but he was also one of the few male reporters who didn't hit on me. These were all pluses in his favor, so I was happy to call him my friend.

"Jake, dance with me!" I begged pathetically as I grabbed his arm. He chuckled and downed his glass of champagne.

"Can't," Jake quipped. He pointed to the open bar where his boyfriend – a photographer by the name of Seth Clearwater – was standing proudly. They were both entirely too handsome.

Why were all of the decent guys married or gay?

"Fine, desert me in my hour of need," I grumbled as I took another sip of my champagne.

"Oh, I don't think you're going to be deserted for long," Jake grinned mischievously, and I sighed heavily as I felt someone sit down in the chair next to me. "I think I need a refill. Have fun!"

And with a wink, he was gone.

_Traitor._

I felt his arm along the back of my chair as he leaned closer to my ear. "You can't ignore me all night. It's actually quite rude."

My temper flared, but I still refused to turn my head in his direction since, obviously, I was unable to look into his eyes without losing my damn mind.

"You _would_ know all about rude behavior," I snapped angrily.

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?"

Hate was radiating from me. I prayed it was enough to keep me coherent because I was obviously going to have to face him at some point. With a resigned sigh, I turned my head. I really wasn't expecting his face to be that close to mine. His eyes were piercing and his breath was sweet against my face.

I took a deep breath and steeled my resolve.

"Marking me and leaving me without even the courtesy of a goodbye would qualify as rude behavior, don't you agree?"

A slow smile crept across his face. "I wanted you to have something to remember me by. Besides, you loved it. Those sexy moans are still echoing in my ears."

"You're a pig," I muttered as I grabbed another glass of champagne – probably Rosalie's. I downed it quickly before placing it back on the table.

"And you're sexy as hell. Come dance with me."

"No."

He leaned closer to my ear, and I shuddered. "We had sex, but you won't share a slow dance with me?"

"I was drunk," I replied lamely.

He snorted. "You weren't _that_ drunk."

"There are literally hundreds of beautiful women in this room," I said as I waved my hand toward the crowd. "Take your pick."

"But I want to dance with the most beautiful woman in this room, and that's you."

Truly, he was a smooth bastard.

"I think that's a really bad idea," I replied shakily. His hand had made its way to the back of my neck, and my skin tingled beneath his touch.

"Just one dance, Songbird," he whispered softly, his nose trailing against my cheek.

It was the name he'd christened me last night. The name he'd used to coax me away from the piano. The name he'd growled when…

It was that name that prompted me to place my hand in his, and with a sexy, triumphant smile, he led me onto the dance floor. His fiery eyes were locked with mine as he pulled my hand close to his chest while his other hand found the small of my back. He pulled me close, and our bodies swayed to the slow beat of the music.

"I know it's a moot point now, but I'm Edward." His smile was crooked and his eyes were dancing with mischief.

I glanced anxiously around the room. "I'm Bella."

"So you're pissed about last night?" Edward asked curiously. At least he had the decency to keep his voice low.

"Yes."

"May I ask why?"

I took a deep breath. "Because I don't do one night stands….ever."

He smirked as his eyes danced with joy. "I see. Well, if that's all that's bothering you, then I'm sure I could be persuaded into a repeat performance. I wouldn't want you to feel unnecessarily guilty when it's so easy for me to make it right."

I rolled my eyes. "You're such a pig."

"Maybe," he admitted softly. "But that doesn't change the fact that I want you. That dress and those heels are killing me."

"You don't want me," I muttered. "You want to _sleep _with me. There's a big difference."

"Not to me," Edward shrugged. "Either way, we both get what we want."

I narrowed my eyes. Was he seriously this arrogant?

"What makes you think that I want you?"

Edward flashed that crooked smile at me. "Because last night was fantastic."

I couldn't deny it.

"It was so fantastic that you couldn't be bothered to say goodbye?"

He eyed me curiously. "Bella, you literally fell asleep ten seconds after you came."

_Had I?_ I honestly couldn't remember much after the mother of all orgasms.

"Well then, what about the hickey?" I continued my rant. "What are you, sixteen?"

"But that hickey made it possible for you to wear your hair down tonight – which I love – so I can't apologize for that, either." He wove his hands through my hair and pulled me tight against his body. I glanced nervously across the room, and my eyes locked with the bride's.

Alice's expression was livid.

"We can't."

"We can," Edward murmured against my ear. "And if it's that important to you, I promise to say goodbye this time."

I trembled in his arms, and he pulled me tighter against his body. I gazed into his fiery eyes, and they were swimming with hunger. His mouth hovered close to mine, and I watched – mesmerized – as his tongue moistened his bottom lip.

"Say yes, Songbird."

I could do this. For one weekend out of my lonely life, I could allow myself this. He was gorgeous, and for some unknown reason, he wanted me in his bed. It would be meaningless and awesome and then he'd walk out of my life for good. He and I would go back to our corners of Seattle, and I'd never have to see his handsome face again. The only reminder of this weekend would be the mark that he was sure to leave on my body.

"One condition."

Edward's eyes glowed in triumph. "Anything."

"Leave your mark where only I can see it."

He growled softly before pulling me by the hand and leading me through the maze of the crowded dance floor.

* * *

Luckily, the elevators opened right in front of his room.

Edward pushed me against the door and pressed his forehead to mine as he fumbled in his pocket for his room key. His eyes were burning with desire as the door finally opened. I stumbled backwards, but his strong arms caught me as he wrapped me in his embrace and lifted me off the ground. Our foreheads touched again, and we were both breathless as he held me in his arms.

Now that we were in the room, I could see that tonight was different. _He_ was different. Gone were the passionate kisses and wild groping that encompassed our first night together. Tonight, he was being tender, and it confused me and thrilled me all at the same time. Very slowly, he carried me over to his bed and sat me on the edge.

I watched as he dropped to his knees in front of me. Never breaking my gaze, his hand crept along my leg before slipping one heel, and then the other, from my feet. His hands trailed up each of my legs…under the satin fabric of my dress…tugging the material up until it was bunched around my waist.

"You are so sexy," Edward murmured.

I leaned forward and untied his tie, tossing it over my shoulder. He smirked as I unbuttoned his vest and then his shirt, and I kissed his bare shoulder as the clothes fell onto the ground. Edward reached around me and untied my halter, and he groaned as his soft hands caressed my bare skin.

"Lay back," he ordered softly after he'd finished undressing me.

I heard his zipper, and within seconds, he was hovering over me. I ran my hands along his chest, and he shuddered beneath my touch. He lowered his head and I trembled as his lips gently brushed against my collarbone. His kisses drifted lower, and I moaned loudly when he began sucking forcefully against my skin.

Edward was keeping his promise - marking me where no one else could see.

"There," he murmured in the darkness of the bedroom. He brushed his lips softly against the skin, and the tenderness behind his voice and the sweetness of the gesture nearly broke me.

"Don't do this," I threatened.

Edward raised his head, confusion etched across his lovely face. "Don't do what?"

_Don't make love to me_, I wanted to beg him. Getting attached to this man was the very last thing I needed to do. I could handle the hot, scorching sex from the night before. What I couldn't handle was tonight's sweet caresses and gentle kisses when I knew that this would be the very last time I would ever see him.

"Don't be sweet," I plead softly.

Something flashed in his eyes, and I couldn't determine which part of my statement had affected him the most.

"Whatever you say, baby," Edward whispered as he covered his body with mine. "You're mine…"

"I'm yours," I whimpered softly, because it was true.

For tonight, I was his.

I awoke the next morning, feeling well-rested for the first time in months. A quick glance at the alarm clock explained why.

It was noon?

"Edward, it's late," I murmured as I patted his side of the bed. My eyes snapped open when I felt nothing but cold sheets. I turned over, but all I found on his pillow was a white rose lying against a card. I sat up against the headboard and brought the rose to my nose. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. Sighing, I wrapped the sheet around me, letting his smell completely surround me as I opened the note with fumbling fingers.

_Goodbye, Songbird…._was all it said.


	3. The World I Know

**AN: I miss my beta, snarkerella, and hope she gets home soon! She's out there doing good things in the world, and I love her for it.**

**Chapter title comes from Collective Soul.**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

_**The World I Know**_

***BPOV***

It was Monday morning, and as usual, the newsroom was buzzing with excitement. There was an overnight restaurant fire down on Pike Place, an impromptu afternoon visit from the governor down at the Woodland Zoo, and an upcoming charity auction for the Children's Hospital. I watched in dismay as my colleagues scurried around the room – synchronizing itineraries and negotiating for the best cameramen. I sighed wearily and dropped back down into my cubicle. Grabbing my coffee, I drank slowly while I blinked at my computer, trying to manipulate the words on my screen to make it sound like I really gave a shit about the community college production of _The Sound of Music_ that I had been forced to watch last week.

_The play was good._

Pulitzer Prize journalism at its finest, wouldn't you say? No wonder I was stuck in a cubicle.

Growling, I angrily pressed the backspace key while glancing around my tiny workspace. Hanging on the wall was my Journalism degree – taunting me in its black frame.

I wasn't naïve. I understood that I had to pay my dues in the world of journalism. What frustrated me was that I had been working for the _Times_ for six months, and never – not once – had I been given anything substantial to cover. How could I pay my dues with bullshit assignments like these?

I minimized the screen and opened my work email. It was heavily monitored, so I was surprised to find an email from a honeymooning Alice in my inbox. I clicked the message and immediately wished I hadn't.

_**Hi Bella!**_

_**I am currently lying on Lanikai Beach watching as my husband (my husband!) windsurfs! I have decided there is nothing sexier than my handsome hubby riding a wave. I am taking lots of pictures and can't wait to show them to you! Speaking of pictures, I am attaching a few candid shots of the wedding that were sent to us by one of Jazz's cousins. One picture will be of particular interest to you. Don't think that I've forgotten how I was deserted during the reception by my maid-of-honor, and I am expecting a heartfelt apology and a fully-detailed explanation when I get home! **_

_**Hugs and kisses!**_

_**Mrs. Jasper Whitlock**_

Since checking out of the hotel yesterday, I had tried to immerse myself with work so that I wouldn't have the chance to feel shame or regret for my ridiculously reckless weekend. I had been _so_ stupid, and I wasn't accustomed to feeling stupid.

I wasn't innocent. I'd lost my virginity to Mike Newton when I was seventeen years old in the basement of his parent's house during a rowdy graduation party. It had been quick and unfulfilling, but truthfully, I was just grateful to have that particular milestone behind me. Thankfully, Mike hadn't been clingy, and we'd parted as friends before I left for college. I hadn't seen him since graduation, and that was just fine with me. Since him, I'd had a few boyfriends, but it had always been casual and physical. A relationship was the furthest thing from my mind. Becoming a journalist was my first priority, and I wanted nothing – or no one – to get in the way of my career goals. Still, I was usually much more level-headed when it came to sex, and it unnerved me that I'd been so easily persuaded by a man's handsome face and his blazing eyes.

Especially a man with a reputation like Edward Cullen's.

Last night, in a moment of weakness, I had googled his name. I had ignored the images of him – I really couldn't be trusted to see his face – but I had read his bio on his law firm's website. He was really quite accomplished, with his Yale law degree and his many charitable foundations. From there, I perused news articles and found that – along with his humanitarian efforts – he had quite the reputation as a womanizer. This hadn't surprised me considering how easily he'd charmed me.

_Twice_.

The fact that it was the best sex of my life did nothing to alleviate my shame.

It was our second encounter that had affected me the most, and I knew it was because he'd had the decency to keep his promises. I'd asked for two, and he'd fulfilled both.

The hickey was visible only to me and the rose and goodbye note were lying on my nightstand. I knew that two of those mementos would naturally disappear with time, and the note could be ripped to shreds. So, I was thankful that I would not be subjected to any lasting reminders of my wild weekend.

Unfortunately, I clicked on Alice's photo attachment, and suddenly, I had a _visual_ reminder. It was a photo of Edward and I, dancing at the reception. I was in his arms, and he was gazing down at me with those bright green eyes. Butterflies erupted in my stomach as I recalled the intensity of his stare.

"_Please_ tell me you tapped that," Jake's voice boomed behind me, causing me to jump in my seat. Quickly I closed the window and pretended to work on my article.

"What are you talking about?" I replied shakily. I couldn't face him. I was positive that my face was beet red.

"Edward Cullen? You know, the hot groomsman? The one you were just drooling over?"

"I wasn't drooling," I argued quietly. "Alice sent me some pictures from the wedding, and it was just the first link that opened." I finally found the nerve to look his way. "And how do you know his name?"

"_Everybody_ knows Edward Cullen," Jake explained as he rolled his eyes.

"I didn't. Not until this weekend."

Jake's eyes lit up. "_Please_ tell me you slept with this beautiful man. _Please_ allow me to live vicariously through you."

"You'd have to because I can assure you that he isn't gay."

"Oh my GOD! I want details. Every single, sweaty, sexy detail."

"No."

He actually pouted. "Nothing?"

"There's nothing to tell."

Jake snorted. "Isabella Swan, you are a terrible liar."

"FINE!" I gritted my teeth. "Yes, we slept together. Yes, it was stupid. Yes, it was irresponsible. No, it's never going to happen again. Now, would you please drop it?"

Jake's smile widened as he whispered, "Was it good? It was good, I can tell."

I rolled my eyes. "_How_ can you tell?"

"Because you're blushing."

"It was good," I confirmed with a nod, but my head was screaming at me, obviously offended that I'd chosen such a lackluster adjective.

Jake seemed to notice my internal battle. "Just good?"

I glared in his direction. "It was the best sex of my life. There is that better?"

Jake leaned back in his chair and sighed wistfully. "Ahh, to be single again. I am so proud of you, girl! Sure, he's a manwhore, but hell, as long as you wrapped it before you tapped it…"

"Wrapped it…._what_?" I shook my head. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You know," Jacob murmured softly. "A condom?"

_Oh._

My face dropped as I spun around in my seat to avoid his gaze.

"Are you kidding me?" Jacob seethed quietly. "Bella, that man has slept with half of Seattle!"

"Says who?"

"Say the photos!" he shouted. Luckily, the newsroom was too busy to notice. "That man is pictured with a different babe every night. Not that I don't admire that kind of stamina in a man, but come on, Bella…"

"I'm on the pill," I noted quietly.

"A _baby _would be the least of your worries!"

I sighed tiredly. "Look, Jake. I haven't slept. I'm emotional. I'm ashamed. I know it was stupid. I will get tested as soon as I can get to the doctor."

"Promise me," Jake murmured softly. He really was such a good friend.

"I promise."

Thankfully, five o'clock arrived, and I gratefully carried my tired ass home. I picked up some take-out along the way, and after dinner, I snuggled into my favorite pajamas and curled up in front of the television with my favorite treat – a banana Popsicle.

I had become addicted to banana Popsicles during my summer vacations with my dad, Charlie. After he and mom divorced, my summers had been spent with Dad in our little hometown of Forks. Renee, my mother, had never allowed sugary snacks in the house, but Dad insisted that kids should be kids, and the freezer was always stocked with Popsicles whenever I'd come to visit. It was a tradition I continued in my own freezer to this day.

I was dreaming about popsicles and summer when I was jostled out of a deep sleep by the ringing of my cell phone. Afraid it was the office, I jumped off the couch and grabbed my phone out of my bag.

"Bella Swan."

"You're alive," Rosalie's voice was low. "I was beginning to wonder if Emmett's brother had kidnapped you. I haven't seen or heard from you since the reception."

"Sorry," I replied softly. "No, I'm fine. Just checked-out early and then worked Sunday night."

"You never work Sunday nights."

"I did this Sunday night," I grumbled as I grabbed the remote and turned off the television. Upon checking out of the hotel, I'd driven straight to work and spent the rest of the night trying to work while _desperately_ trying to forget my weekend.

Instead, I'd googled Edward Cullen and memorized his professional bio.

"Well, I appreciate you ditching me at the reception," Rosalie said, although I noticed she really didn't sound that upset about it.

"I'm sure you were well taken care of," I mumbled sleepily, remembering the way she'd been giggling with Emmett.

"I was," Rosalie replied, and I could literally hear her grin. "We had a _good_ time. We're still having it, actually. He's in the shower right now."

"Did you call to brag?"

"No, I called to check on you," Rosalie said. "I know it was Edward that put that hickey on your neck, and I know you left the reception with him. You know I'm not usually one to pry, but what the hell is going on between you two?"

"Nothing," I replied honestly. "There is absolutely nothing going on beyond what happened this weekend."

"Yeah, that's what Edward said, too," Rosalie replied, and for some reason, I felt my stomach turn. "At least, that's what he told Emmett this morning over breakfast. But I know you don't usually….do that sort of thing…" She took a deep breath before continuing. "He didn't force you, did he, Bella? I mean, I know he's a smooth bastard."

"No, Rosalie," I promised her. "I knew exactly what I was doing, and for the first time in a very long time, I chose what felt good instead of what felt right."

"And you were careful," she commented matter-of-factly, because she had no reason to assume otherwise since I was always the responsible one. I didn't want another STD lecture, so I allowed the comment to hang in the air.

"I'm really sleepy, Rose. Have fun, and tell Emmett I said hi."

We hung up as I made my way into the bedroom. I hadn't taken the time to unpack last night, so I took a few minutes to toss my clothes in the hamper and empty my suitcase. I put my medications – my morning vitamins and my birth control pills – on my nightstand. Lying beside of them was Edward's card and the white rose.

"I'm such an idiot," I mumbled tiredly as I climbed into my own bed for the first time since Thursday. I'd been so exhausted last night that I hadn't even made it to the bedroom before collapsing against the sofa and sleeping until my alarm went off on my phone at six this morning. I had missed my soft bed, the one big splurge I'd insisted upon when I bought the apartment. I reached over and set my alarm before grabbing my bottle of water and opening my pill pack.

My hands froze as I glanced down at the pack. With trembling fingers, I gingerly touched the pills labeled _Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. _The pills were there – staring back at me – reminding me that not only had I been reckless this weekend, but I had also been forgetful.

So very, very forgetful.

* * *

***EPOV***

_**Three weeks later**_

I tightened my tie around the collar of my shirt and took one last look in the mirror. There was just enough of the sunrise reflecting through the bedroom window for me to get dressed without having to use the light. I was grateful, because the last thing I wanted to do was wake her up.

What the hell was wrong with me?

While it was true that I enjoyed spending my time with beautiful women, I wasn't _quite _the playboy that the tabloids made me out to be. It was true that women seemed to fall at my feet, and like any healthy, straight male, I took full advantage of the opportunities whenever they presented themselves. However, I was picky. These were well-educated, professional women. Friends with benefits, if you will. We were always safe and always discreet. Sure, I'd have my picture taken at a benefit or some equally boring affair with a woman on my arm, but more times than not, I came home alone. This was exactly how I wanted it to be. If I wanted to be partner at the firm by the time I was thirty, it was imperative that I stay focused on nothing but my career.

I glanced back at Tanya, who was lovely with her long strawberry-blonde hair and her creamy skin. Last night's benefit had been particularly boring, and we'd escaped to her room.

It was really a shame I hadn't enjoyed that.

Law and sex. One was logical. One was physical. These were things I understood. What I didn't understand was why all of a sudden the sexual part of my life seemed so boring, which in turn, was keeping me irritable and frustrated.

I couldn't explain it.

I noticed a difference right after Jasper's wedding. Since then, I'd had three different partners, including Tanya. I hadn't even really _wanted_ them. I'd just wanted to see if I could break myself out of the funk in which I'd been living for almost a month. These were beautiful, desirable women. There was no reason I shouldn't be enjoying myself.

But I wasn't, and it was seriously beginning to piss me off.

I was still contemplating my uncharacteristically shitty sex life as I made my way into the office.

"Good morning, Mr. Cullen," Lauren smiled at me from behind her desk. "Here are your messages, and you have a breakfast meeting with Ben Cheney from Cheney Communications in the conference room at nine."

"Good morning, Lauren," I murmured in greeting.

Lauren Mallory was another beautiful, desirable woman in my life, except this one was my administrative assistant, and I never mixed business with pleasure. She was hard-as-nails and kept me in line, which was exactly what I needed. During her initial interview last year, I'd inadvertently called her "sweetheart" and she'd promptly threatened to kick my ass and file a sexual harassment suit against me. I had been impressed, and I'd hired her on the spot.

"Pastries are on the way, and the rest of your day is on your Blackberry."

"Thank you," I smiled at her before making my way into my office and closing the door behind me. I was grateful that I had two hours before my meeting with Cheney. It would give me the chance to catch up on some files that had been piling up for the past few weeks because of my shitty attention span.

I flipped open the first file, looked at it with disgust, and promptly shut it.

Beyond frustrated, I powered up my laptop and checked my web-based email account—my private email address that couldn't be monitored by the firm.

"Damn junk mail," I growled as I promptly deleted fifty of my seventy-five messages. With that crap out of my way, I continued checking my inbox and noticed that I had three emails from my brother – all with interesting subject lines describing particular features of the female anatomy.

**To: ECullen**

**From: BigDogEm**

**Subject: Legs!**

_**Dude, check out these pictures from the wedding. What a weekend, huh?**_

I opened the attachment and saw a picture of Jasper with Brandon's garter between his teeth. The bastard looked so happy, and Alice did have great legs.

**To: ECullen**

**From: BigDogEm**

**Subject: Boobs!**

This picture, of course, featured the new object of my brother's affection. Rosalie still came off as a little desperate to me, but Emmett really seemed to like her, which was strange for him. He wasn't quite the womanizer that I was depicted to be, but he had his fair share of women.

**To: ECullen**

**From: BigDogEm**

**Subject: Eyes!**

I clicked the attachment, and I inhaled a sharp breath as a pair of chocolate eyes stared back at me from the screen. She was walking down the aisle, her hair hanging down her shoulders in wild, mahogany waves. My hand twitched as I recalled how the strands had felt between my fingers. Without thinking, I lifted my hand and ghosted my finger along her face on the screen.

My memory didn't do her justice. Bella Swan was the sexiest creature I'd ever seen. The luminous eyes. The silky hair. The gorgeous body. The sultry voice. The mind-blowing sex.

She was stunningly perfect.

There had been a brief moment during the weekend when I thought that I might actually feel something for the girl – something that went a little deeper than just intense sexual attraction. But, luckily, she'd snapped me out of my madness when she'd begged me _not_ to be sweet. It was just the reality checked I'd needed in the heat of the moment. I awoke in the middle of the night with her wrapped in my arms, and I felt an inexplicable urge to watch her while she slept. So that's what I'd done. I held her in my arms and watched her sleep until the sun rose in the eastern Seattle sky.

Bella had only asked for two things from me – a concealed mark and a proper goodbye. So, I'd carefully climbed out of bed and scribbled a goodbye note, placing it against my pillow. Sensing that it needed something more, I quietly called guest services and asked for a single white rose. After it was delivered and was lying with the note, I gently pulled the blanket away – and that's when I saw my hickey. It was hidden, just as she'd asked. Unable to resist, I'd kissed it – and her lips – one last time before walking out of the room.

I felt a strange sense of satisfaction, knowing that I had kept my promises to the gorgeous girl.

The next day, I'd met Emmett for breakfast, and he'd begged me for details about my weekend. I confirmed to him that I'd slept with Bella – twice – and that it was amazing but would never happen again. He'd seemed almost relieved, muttering something about Bella being a sweet girl and far too innocent for me.

The rest of my day was a blur of boring-ass meetings and more paperwork, and I was happy to leave the office around seven. I drove home, changed clothes, and immediately went for a run in the park, hoping the exercise would relieve some of my tension. I was feeling pretty good until I saw another runner in the distance with a long, mahogany ponytail. Like an idiot, I ran toward the woman – only to realize that it wasn't her. So I ran another five miles, just to punish myself for being such a dumbass. When I went to sleep that night, I didn't have one dream about brown eyes or songbirds.

For the first night in three weeks, I didn't dream about Bella Swan.


	4. All That I Know is I'm Breathing

**AN: So….according to my reviews, some of you won't be happy with this chapter. I'm sorry about that, but my story summary hinted at this all along. I hope you stick it out with me.**

**My beta is back in town! She even picked today's chapter song, which is "Keep Breathing" by Ingrid Michaelson.**

**Trust me? :) Here we go…**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

_**All That I Know is I'm Breathing**_

**BPOV**

"Bella?" Rosalie's voice was unnaturally soft as she knocked on my bathroom door. "I hurried as fast as I could. I ran three red lights and had to flirt my way out of a ticket, but I'm here. Are you okay? Can I come in?"

"Yes," I whispered shakily.

The door opened and Rose's eyes immediately found mine. Her eyes narrowed as she surveyed the scene. I was sitting on the edge of my tub, gently rocking back and forth. Surrounding me were open boxes and various brands of pregnancy tests.

"How can they all be positive?" I murmured anxiously, dropping my eyes to the floor as I rocked back and forth. "How can ten different tests all say the same thing?"

I heard Rose's heavy sigh as she made her way toward me. She kneeled to the ground, lifted my chin with her hand, and smoothed my hair out of my face. Her expression was sympathetic.

"Oh, Bella…."

I sniffled quietly.

"Did you seriously pee on ten different sticks?" Rose asked, her eyes wide with concern.

"I thought that if I kept peeing, I'd eventually get a different result."

She heaved a sigh as she sat down on the tile floor. Despite my embarrassment and fear, I could appreciate the fact that the normally outspoken Rosalie was trying to keep a tight grip on her inner bitch.

"How did this happen? Aren't you on the pill?"

"I was," I replied softly. "But I…got busy…and _stupid_…and I forgot to take them for a few nights."

"You forgot…" Rosalie mused softly as she leaned back against the wall. "Bella, I didn't realize you were sleeping with anyone."

"I'm not." I groaned as I covered my face with my hands. "I haven't since…."

I couldn't finish my sentence, because no matter how terrified I was of accepting that I was pregnant, nothing could compare to the sheer terror I felt in confessing the father's name. The bathroom was dead silent as my rocking became frantic. After what felt like forever, Rosalie finally gasped.

"Edward Cullen is the father?"

She said his name, and I instantly dissolved into tears.

Deciding she couldn't handle my breakdown without assistance, Rosalie called Alice – who showed up an hour later with a pint of Ben and Jerry's and three spoons. They pulled me out of the bathroom and hugged me tight before leading me to the living room. The three of us snuggled on the couch and wrapped ourselves in my favorite blanket as we took turns taking bites of Triple Caramel Chunk. In between mouthfuls, I tearfully confessed every scandalous moment of my weekend with Edward. They gasped and giggled appropriately, and Alice even sighed wistfully when I told them about the rose.

"Forgive me if I'm not bowing at his feet for leaving a flower. He left her – twice," Rosalie commented dryly.

"But he said goodbye the second time," Alice reminded her.

"No, he left a _note_. You don't think two nights of mind-blowing sex warranted more than a goodbye note and a flower? The man couldn't be bothered to spend the night?"

"Stop it," I grumbled. "He owed me nothing. I knew exactly what I was doing, and now I'm paying the consequences." I angrily jabbed my spoon back into the ice cream carton. "Maybe a note was all I deserved. I mean, just because _I_ thought the sex was fantastic doesn't mean that he did."

"I happen to know for a fact that's not true," Rosalie said and then immediately covered her hand with her mouth. "Shit."

"You know something!"

"I know nothing," Rosalie lied unconvincingly as she attempted to shove her spoon back into the ice cream.

"Take her spoon!" Alice squealed, and I quickly snatched the spoon out of Rose's hand.

"What the hell?"

"Spill," I smirked as I waved the spoon in her face. She narrowed her eyes at me before exhaling a deep breath.

"Fine. Emmett spoke with Edward right after the wedding and he said that his brother couldn't shut up about how gorgeous you are. However, he wouldn't give any steamy details, which, according to Emmett, is very unusual. Edward is usually a big bragger when it comes to women."

This news shouldn't have made me happy, but it did.

"Anything else?" Alice asked excitedly.

Rosalie shot me a look and smirked. "Apparently little Miss Bella here rocked his world. Edward said the sex was incredible."

Alice squealed as she bounced on the couch. "Incredible?"

"_Amazing_," Rosalie specified.

"What does that mean?" Alice asked softly, and I promptly handed back Rose's spoon. We both shrugged before plunging our spoons back into the carton.

"Bella," Alice said as she draped the blanket over her legs. "What are you thinking? _How_ are you feeling?"

I swallowed my chocolate. "I'm overwhelmed. I'm scared. I'm clueless. I'm devastated."

"But are you excited at all? I mean, it's a baby. Are you a little happy?"

"I'm too freaked out to be happy," I admitted sadly. "That's bad, isn't it? I'm going to be a terrible mother."

"It's not bad," Rosalie muttered. "It's completely natural to feel all of those things. I think you should take a few days…see a doctor…and consider your options."

"And you should tell Edward," Alice said gently.

Fear clenched my stomach. I couldn't imagine making _that_ phone call. Would he even speak with me? What would he say? Would he even care that I was carrying his child?

Rosalie shot her a look. "She should get confirmation from a doctor first. Then, she can tell Edward."

Alice was shaking her head. "Perhaps she wants Edward to go with her to the doctor?"

"Perhaps she's independent and doesn't need him to hold her hand!" Rosalie shrieked.

"Perhaps she _wants_ him to hold her hand!"

"_She _is right here!" I yelled as I tossed my spoon in the carton and swiftly rose from the couch. My head was pounding and my stomach was nauseated beyond belief. "Thank you for the intervention, but I am fine. I will call the doctor first thing in the morning and make an appointment. Alice, I cannot ask you to keep a secret from your husband, but I would appreciate if both of you would keep this to yourselves until I can figure out what the hell I'm going to do."

"Of course," Rosalie assured me.

"Absolutely," Alice promised.

"Thank you," I sighed softly. "Now I'm tired and emotional and cranky, so I'd like to go to bed."

My friends enveloped me in their arms and promised me that everything was going to be okay before they headed home. They were lucky. Alice was going home to her husband, and Rose and Emmett were practically living together these days.

As usual, I was alone.

I drifted my hand along my stomach. Could ten pregnancy tests be wrong? Honestly, I'd had no weird cravings or bouts of nausea – except for these brief moments of vomit-inducing terror. My only clues were the fact that I'd skipped my pills and my period was nine days late.

Could it be possible that I wasn't pregnant at all?

I allowed myself the tiniest glimmer of hope before falling into a fitful sleep.

* * *

I didn't even bother to open my umbrella as I made my way out of the doctor's office. The rain falling on my face would mingle with my tears, and no one would be able to tell that my world had just fallen apart.

My gynecologist confirmed what I already suspected. My crying alerted him to the fact that this wasn't happy news, and he'd spent the next hour discussing my options. He sent me home with pamphlets and a reminder of my next appointment.

I drove around the city for the next two hours, considering my options and wishing divine intervention would intercede so that I would make the right choice. This hadn't been in my plan at all. I wanted to write. I wanted to win a Pulitzer. I wanted to accomplish my career goals, and only then, would I consider having a family of my own. I had remained steadfast and focused until _that _weekend, and that one weekend was going to haunt me for the rest of my life.

I laughed bitterly as I remembered my desire for no lasting reminders of my time with Edward. The hickey had long since faded and the flower was dead. All that remained was the card...

….and now a baby.

It was times like these when a girl needed her mother. However, my mom would be horrified that I'd allowed something like a one-night stand (or in this case, two nights) to derail my career plans. Mom had married young because of me, and therefore had instilled in me her belief that smart girls were careful when dealing with the opposite sex. Smart girls didn't allow their hormones to override common sense. Smart girls didn't get knocked up by boys they had just met and had no intentions of ever meeting again.

Clearly, calling my mother was not an option.

I was pulling into my parking garage as my phone vibrated in my hand. A quick glance at the caller ID told me that it was my editor. _Damn it._ Today was supposed to be my day off. I needed to have my panic attack in peace. But guilt won out, and I flipped open my phone.

"Bella Swan."

"Bella, I need you to cover tonight's charity auction," Harry said gruffly.

My head was swimming. "Charity auction?"

"Seattle Children's Hospital?"

"Right, right! Umm…I thought Angela was covering that."

"Angela has the flu. You keep saying that you want me to give you a shot, so here's your shot. It's formal, so dress accordingly. Interview some members of the hospital administration, a few benefactors…maybe even a parent or two if they're willing. I need copy on my desk by midnight in time for the morning edition. Stop by the office and get your press pass. Seth will be your photographer, and he'll meet you at the ballroom at six."

Grateful to have a break from my messed up personal life, I quickly dialed Alice's number.

"So?" she answered breathlessly.

"So….yeah."

She squealed as if this was wonderful news.

"What are you going to do?"

"Nothing right now," I muttered. "I have a…somewhat more pressing issue…if you can believe that."

Alice listened with rapt attention as I begged for a dress. I owned nothing formal, and while she and I weren't even close to the same size, she had lots of friends in some of the best stores in Seattle. I gave her a budget, and she promised to have a dress delivered to my house within hours.

As I made my way into the apartment, I called Rosalie, who wasn't nearly as excited as Alice about my baby news. _I_ was thrilled, however, to learn that she would be accompanying Emmett to the charity event. Even though I'd be working, it'd still be nice to know she was somewhere in the room. Apparently the Cullens were longtime benefactors of the hospital, donating millions of dollars to cancer research, specifically in the area of childhood leukemia. The family always attended the event, but she assured me that Edward was out of town on business, and I exhaled a sigh of relief. I knew I'd have to face him eventually, but tonight was way too soon, and I was thankful to be able to avoid that confrontation for at least a little while.

As promised, the dress arrived – a Grecian inspired black gown with keyholes in the front and back and beading around the waist. It was classic and simple, and I loved it. I did very little with my hair, opting for an easy up-do, and I applied minimal make-up to my face and tiny diamond studs to my ears. I added a small black clutch – just big enough for my recorder and some cash. By five, I was out the door and headed to the office to pick up my press pass. Harry barked some last minute instructions as I raced out the door, and forty-five minutes later, I was walking into the Century Ballroom.

"Damn, girl," Seth grinned as I made my way toward him. He was standing just inside the entrance, leaning casually against the wall and holding his camera. He was all decked out in his tuxedo. "You look hot. Too bad you're not my type."

"Thanks. Maybe we should have color coordinated," I smirked as I pointed at his gold tie.

"This isn't the prom." Seth rolled his eyes as we flashed our passes and made our way into the ballroom. "However, I do hope someone has spiked the punch. Come on, let's get a drink."

"We aren't here to socialize, Seth," I reminded him as he steered me toward a waiter. Seth winked at him before taking two glasses of champagne from his tray.

"You are such a slut," I grinned as he watched the waiter's ass make its way through the crowd.

"Jake and I have our rules," Seth replied, as we made our way toward the press room. "We can look, but we can't touch."

I rolled my eyes just as I saw Rosalie and Emmett waving at me from across the room. She looked stunning, of course. Her dress was white and flowing, and I noted that it wasn't nearly as form-fitting as she usually preferred. We made our way toward each other, and she frowned when she noticed the drink in my hand.

"What the hell is that?" Rose snapped as she glared at my glass.

"Umm…champagne?" I glanced at Emmett, who was grinning from ear-to-ear. "Hey, Em."

"Hey, you," Emmett smirked.

"I know _what_ it is," Rosalie interrupted our greetings and whispered angrily. "_Why_ is it in your hand?"

I narrowed my eyes in confusion before realization dawned.

"OH!" I cried as I quickly handed her the glass. For an entire thirty minutes, I had actually forgotten that I was an unwed mother. "I didn't take a drink, I swear."

Emmett glanced curiously between the two of us but remained silent.

"Oh, good. You scared the hell out of me," Rosalie murmured lifting the glass to her lips and downing _my _drink.

_How unfair._

"I know someone who is going to be _very_ happy to see you tonight," Emmett said with a grin. I glanced nervously at Rosalie who seemed to be looking for another waiter.

"Yeah, about that…" Rosalie mumbled. "Bella, come with me to the ladies' room."

She grabbed me by the arm and led me down a long hallway until we found the restrooms. Unbelievably, there wasn't a line, but it was crowded.

"Edward's coming," she announced softly when we finally found a quiet corner. My eyes grew wide, and I gripped a nearby counter for support. "He _was_ out of town, but apparently, this is a family thing and he's expected to be here. I'm so sorry."

I closed my eyes and sighed dejectedly. "It's okay. I mean, this is work. I'll just do my interviews and get out of here before he sees me. It's a big ballroom, and I'm sure he'll have a date. Besides, it was over six weeks ago. He probably won't even recognize me."

Rosalie didn't look convinced as we made our way back into the ballroom. We quickly found Emmett, who was seated at a table with a beautiful woman with Snow White skin and shiny, black hair. By her side was a man whose handsome face would parallel any movie star's.

"It's the parents," Rosalie groaned.

My eyes widened as I suddenly came face-to-face with my unborn child's grandparents.

"There you two are," Emmett smiled as he rose from the table. His father followed suit as the mother looked at each of us with a sweet smile on her face. "Mom and Dad, this is my girlfriend, Rosalie Hale and her best friend, Bella Swan. Ladies, these are my parents – Carlisle and Esme Cullen."

"How nice to meet you both," Esme rose before taking both mine and Rosalie's hands. "And don't you both look beautiful tonight."

"Thank you," we both whispered in unison. I could just imagine the deer-in-the-headlight looks that were etched across our faces.

"It's a pleasure," Carlisle smiled warmly at each of us. "Won't you join us, Bella?"

"No, thank you," I smiled, thankful that I actually had an excuse to escape before their other son made his appearance. "I'm actually working tonight."

"Bella works for the _Times_," Emmett explained as he led Rosalie to her seat. She promptly downed another glass of champagne.

_I hate her._

"Yes," I smiled at them. "My photographer is probably wondering where I've disappeared to since I should be conducting some interviews, so if you'll excuse me…"

"You could interview our dad," Emmett offered, ignoring Rosalie's discreet kick from under the table. "He worked at the hospital for years and he's a major benefactor."

Emmett's eyes were sparkling with mischief. Couldn't he see that I was _trying_ to get the hell away from this table?

"Oh, that would be lovely," Esme smiled brightly. "The hospital is very near and dear to all of our hearts." There was hint of sadness behind her soft smile that confused me.

"Oh, I wouldn't want to impose," I murmured nervously. "You're here with your family…"

"Not at all," Carlisle insisted as he motioned toward the empty seat next to him. Rosalie shot me a sympathetic look while Emmett looked positively pleased with himself. I took the offered seat and fumbled with my recorder until it was resting on the table.

I could do this. I could interview my unborn child's grandfather without vomiting. I'd get Seth to snap a few pictures, and I'd escape before Edward even realized I was in the building.

For the next twenty minutes, Carlisle Cullen gave me a brief account of his career and his time as a surgeon at Seattle Children's Hospital. He specialized in pediatric cardiology, but in his later years, he became obsessed with childhood leukemia research. I noticed a distinct shift in the atmosphere when he mentioned this, and I glanced around the table. An unusually subdued Emmett was bowing his head and Esme was wiping her eyes. Everyone's mood brightened as he delved into the advances in leukemia research, and it was obvious that the entire family was passionate about the cause. It was very easy to see that Carlisle and Esme Cullen were very compassionate individuals, and I couldn't help but wonder if they'd be as kind to me when they realized I was carrying their grandchild.

"Thank you so much," I smiled as I deposited the recorder back into my bag. "If you don't mind, my photographer would like to get a few pictures."

"Of course," Carlisle smiled warmly, "We should wait for Edward, though. Heaven knows his face isn't in the papers enough."

Everyone laughed light-heartedly, but I could tell the laughter wasn't malicious. The Cullens genuinely loved their children and seemed to be a very close-knit family.

"I should go find Seth," I murmured as I stood up from my chair.

"It was so nice to meet you, Bella. Please come back and join us for a drink," Esme smiled at me. "And you must meet our son, Edward."

"We've met," a velvet voice echoed behind me, and I closed my eyes in defeat.

"Oh?" Esme's eyes twinkled, and I bit my lip nervously. "Edward, you hadn't told us that you'd met such an enchanting woman."

"Enchanting is the perfect word," Edward murmured. Suddenly he was by my side, and I had no choice but to smile at him.

"It's nice to see you again, Edward."

His burning green eyes swept over me, and butterflies erupted in my stomach.

"The pleasure is all mine, Bella," Edward whispered softly, and I was momentarily stunned by his crooked smile and blazing eyes.

"I should go find my photographer," I mumbled. I turned quickly and found Seth making his way over to the table.

I introduced him to the family, and Edward took his seat as the family leaned close together to allow Seth to snap a few photos. I could feel Edward's eyes on me throughout the impromptu photo shoot, and I was relieved when Seth finally announced that we had enough.

"Thank you again," I smiled at them before grabbing Seth by the sleeve and steering him away from the table and back toward the press room.

"What the hell is going on between you and Edward Cullen?" Seth squealed as my eyes darted around the room, seeking out the nearest exits.

"Nothing," I growled impatiently. "There's nothing going on."

"Please…" Seth smirked. "That man's eyes didn't leave your body for a second, and you're all fidgety and nervous."

"Shut up and find me someone else to interview so I can get the hell out of here."

He finally relented as I was introduced to the hospital CEO. I interviewed him along with a few other benefactors before Seth announced that we'd better get back to the office so that we'd meet Harry's midnight deadline. I had almost made it out the door when I felt a hand against the small of my back.

"Don't leave," Edward murmured softly against my ear. I gasped as his hand trailed along my zipper.

Seth noticed our exchange, and he smirked knowingly.

"I'll see you back at the office, Bella. Don't be late, or we'll both get fired."

_Traitor._

I took a deep breath and turned to face the music. I would have to deal with him eventually. I knew this. I had just hoped that I could escape without having to deal with this tonight.

"You're stunning," Edward murmured as he moved closer to me.

"Thanks," I whispered. "Edward, I really have to get back to the office. I have a deadline."

"Just one dance, Songbird." He grinned, and he looked so hopeful that I giggled in spite of my terror.

"I've heard _that_ before."

Edward chuckled as he ran his fingers through his hair. "That was some dance. I think that worked out pretty well, don't you?"

I ghosted my hand along my stomach.

"Edward, about that night…."

His eyes darted around, and suddenly, he was pulling me toward a darkened entrance just outside of the ballroom.

"That night was amazing, wasn't it?" he whispered gently as he leaned close to me. I felt my back press against the wall, and suddenly, his face was just inches from mine.

"Edward, we _really_ need to talk about what happened that weekend."

"I'd love to talk about it, and I'd love to recreate it." Edward's voice dripped with honey, and it was all I could do not to hitch my leg around his waist.

"Don't you have a date?" I asked, my eyes darting over his shoulder. That's all I needed – a crazy girlfriend trying to kick my pregnant ass.

"No," he said, his lips softly brushing my cheek. "I haven't really dated a lot lately."

I trembled, and his hands wrapped around my waist.

"Why not?"

"I don't know," Edward admitted as his nose brushed against mine. I shuddered as his hands ghosted along my arms. "Maybe you've just ruined me for other women. Is that possible?"

"I…I don't…know…"

"Come dance with me," he whispered pleadingly, his mouth brushing against mine. I moaned softly and shook my head.

"I have a midnight deadline. If I miss it, I'm screwed. Please, Edward…"

Sighing, he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against mine.

"Then I'll come see you. Call me when you get home, and I'll come right over. Please. I've missed you, Songbird."

I was too relieved to have an option to escape, that I didn't fully consider the motives behind his frantic pleading. I just nodded and gave him my address. He handed me his business card with his cell number listed on it, and I promised to call him as soon as I was finished at the office.

It didn't dawn on me until hours later – as I was unlocking my apartment door – that Edward Cullen was coming to see me tonight, and he was expecting to get me into bed.

* * *

**EPOV**

It was suddenly so clear. The sleepless nights. The zero sex drive. The agitation and restlessness. All of the irritation that had consumed me for weeks suddenly made perfect sense.

I had been missing _her._

I had never _missed_ a woman in my entire life.

Ever.

What the hell was wrong with me?

This startling reality probably would have knocked me on my ass, had it not been for the fact that she'd been standing right there talking to my family. I'd obviously forgotten how beautiful she was, and it was a natural beauty – not the superficial kind that could only be found in a plastic surgeon's office. And when she smiled at me, every ounce of frustration that had filled me for the past month had suddenly dissipated as if it had never existed.

Surely that couldn't be normal.

I had practically begged her to stay with me at the charity event. I hadn't brought a date, and I knew it was only a matter of time before Emmett or my mother tried to hook me up with some gold-digging tramp. They were rampant at these types of events, and the news that Edward Cullen was alone would spread like wildfire throughout the ballroom. Unfortunately, the only woman I wanted had to go to work, so I spent the next two hours fielding questions from my mother as to how I was introduced to Bella. I recognized that sparkle in her eye, and I hated like hell to disappoint her. She was always on my ass about meeting a nice girl and settling down, but nice girls were few and far between, and anyway…who wanted a _nice_ girl?

Certainly not me.

Nice girls wanted the picket fence. Nice girls wanted wedding vows. Nice girls wanted a commitment.

The very last thing I needed right now was anything that remotely resembled a commitment.

When Bella finally called around one, I was more than ready to get out from under my mother's hopeful stare. I quickly made my donation to the hospital and raced toward the exit when I was suddenly trapped by my brother and a furious Rosalie Hale.

"We need to talk," Emmett mumbled seriously.

"Can't." I grinned at him, but then I noticed the fire shooting out of Rosalie's eyes, and my smile fell. "It was nice to see you again, Rosalie."

"Listen to me, and listen to me good," Rosalie growled, and I stumbled back under the intensity of her glare. "If you hurt that girl…if you make her cry…if you do anything to upset her, I swear they'll never find your body."

"And I'll help her dig," Emmett muttered.

I narrowed my eyes at both of them. "What the hell are you two talking about?"

"You're going to see Bella?" Rosalie snapped.

"Not that it's any of your damn business, but yes I am."

"Oh, it's _my_ business now," Rosalie assured me with a sneer. "It wasn't my business when you put that hickey on her neck. It wasn't even my business when you left a flower and card on your pillow to serve as some bullshit goodbye. But it is most _certainly_ my business now, and if you upset her…"

"Why the hell are you assuming that I'm going to upset her?"

"Dude," Emmett murmured sadly. "Just…don't be a douche tonight, okay? And call me in the morning, because I'm pretty sure you're going to need to talk to somebody."

_What the hell is this?_

"Fine!" I growled, willing to agree to anything if they'd just get the hell out of my way. "I won't make her cry, and I'll call you in the morning. Is everyone satisfied?"

Rosalie narrowed her eyes at me. "For now, yes."

"Fantastic. Have a good night."

Traffic was hell, but I finally made it to Bella's just after two. I knocked impatiently on her apartment door and ran my fingers through my hair as I waited for her to open the door. I was anxious and frustrated, and I couldn't wait to get my hands on her. Maybe she'd be wearing some naughty lingerie. Maybe she'd be naked. Either way, I'd be a very happy man.

Imagine my surprise when she opened the door in a pair of jeans and a hoodie.

"Hey," she whispered as she stepped away from the door to let me inside. Her eyes were red and her face was pale as a ghost.

"Hey," I replied as she offered to take my coat. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay."

She motioned toward the couch. Was she sick? She looked a little sick, and I instantly wondered if I should call my dad.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_

"So, umm…" Bella's voice was soft as we made ourselves comfortable on her sofa. "I know you probably have some plans for us…for tonight…but _that_ won't be happening tonight."

"Oh." Disappointment flooded me.

"But we need to talk, so I'm glad you're here. I have some things to say about that weekend, and it's important that you hear them." Abruptly, she jumped to her feet. "Do you want something to drink?"

I couldn't tell if she was being hospitable or if she was just stalling, but I told her that a beer would be great. I'd had zero alcohol at the party, and I was apparently going to need something to make it through the rest of this night. I hadn't pegged her for one of those girls that needed to "talk about our feelings." Truthfully, we hadn't talked much about anything. Our conversations had consisted mainly of dirty sex talk.

_Too bad we won't be revisiting those conversations tonight._

"Here you go," Bella handed me the bottle. I noticed she only brought one.

"You aren't drinking tonight?"

"Unfortunately, no…" Bella whispered softly as she curled back onto the couch. "I won't be drinking for a while."

"Alright, what's going on?" I muttered, as I sat my bottle down on the coffee table. "My brother and his girlfriend threatened to chop off my balls if I made you cry. Something's obviously on your mind because you want to talk instead of have sex with me."

Her forehead creased with confusion. "That's unusual? Don't you ever just _talk_ to girls?"

"Not if I can avoid it."

"Why not? The girls you usually date don't have enough intelligence to carry on an actual conversation?"

I laughed loudly. "Like I told you, I haven't dated in a while. Actually, I _never _date."

"You just do what we did."

"It's worked so far," I shrugged, as I took a sip of my beer.

"Are you usually…careful?"

"Careful?"

"Safe," Bella explained. "We didn't use protection, so I was just wondering if you were usually careful."

"I'm always careful," I promised her. I felt like shit for not using condoms that weekend, but holy hell, I hadn't been expecting it, and truthfully, condoms had been the very last thing on my mind. "I'm also tested regularly, and I'm clean."

"So am I," Bella nodded, and I heard her exhale a sigh of relief.

She seemed a bit more relaxed after that conversation, and I was glad. Maybe – just maybe – this night wouldn't be a complete fail after all. I slid closer to her on the sofa, but she lifted her hand in warning.

"We aren't finished."

I groaned and leaned back against the couch.

"Edward," Bella whispered, and the sound of my name on her lips did crazy things to my dormant sex drive. "Something happened that weekend, and I need you to listen and be serious for, like, five minutes. I'm almost positive you won't want to sleep with me after you hear what I'm about to say."

"I _seriously_ doubt that."

"I don't," she replied. "I want you to know up front that I don't expect anything from you. It was a mistake, and I'll have to deal with the ramifications of that. I don't know what I'm going to do at this point, but I thought it was important that you be told. So I'm telling you."

I was completely confused. "What exactly are you telling me?"

"I'm pregnant," she blurted quickly, and I watched in amazement as her eyes flooded with tears.

_Pregnant._

I felt like someone had just punched me in the stomach. This _could not_ be happening. I stared at her and she stared at me, and I watched her face, hoping that at any moment she would burst out laughing.

She wasn't laughing. She was bawling.

"Why are you telling me?" I asked defensively.

Bella wiped her eyes with a tissue. "Wh…what do you mean?"

I shrugged indifferently. "You're assuming it's mine?"

Her eyes grew cold. "Of course it's yours!"

"Really? How can you be so sure? Maybe it was that bartender in the piano bar? Or maybe it was that guy at the reception? Or maybe – just maybe – it was that photographer you were with tonight. You two seemed pretty close."

Even as the words escaped my mouth, I knew I was completely full of shit. Her face was too furious…too heartbroken…and Emmett and Rosalie's words echoed in my brain.

_If you hurt that girl…if you make her cry…if you do anything to upset her, I swear they'll never find your body._

_Don't be a douche tonight._

Too late.

Suddenly, Bella stopped crying, and her chocolate eyes flashed with anger two seconds before she slapped me across the face.

**He gets better, I promise!**

**I should probably mention that I am in no way affiliated with Seattle Children's Hospital. However, I do donate to my local children's hospital. If there is a children's hospital in your area, and you feel so inclined, I am sure they would love your help.**

**I love to hear what you think, even if you're not happy with me (or my Edward) right now. It won't be heartfail the whole time, and won't it be fun watching his ass have to grow up? Ask anybody…I'm a big HEA kind of girl. :)**


	5. Finding Strength in the Struggle

**AN: I'm flipping between POVs again, but you know how I feel about rehashed chapters, so this is how I avoid them.**

**I forgot to mention that you can see the dress that Bella wore to the charity auction by going to my profile. There's a link there that will take you to the images for all of my stories. There is also a lovely banner in the "Songbird" section made by ms ambrosia. It's gorgeous, and I thank her for making it for me. **

**As always, thanks to snarkerella for fixing my mistakes.**

**Chapter title comes from Lindsey Haun's "Broken." **

* * *

**Chapter 5**

_**Finding Strength in the Struggle**_

***EPOV***

"Oh good, you're already dead. That'll save me the trouble."

I groaned as bright sunlight infiltrated the room. Since when does the sun shine in Seattle? I covered my face with one arm and loosened my iron grip around the bottle in my hand.

_How much did I drink?_

"What time is it?" I moaned as I struggled to open my eyes. The damn sun was blinding, and I immediately snapped my eyes closed as the living room began to spin.

"Don't you mean what _day_ is it?" Emmett snapped. I felt the toe of his shoe in my rib, and I winced. "Lauren called to say that you hadn't been in the office. Why are you on the floor?"

_I'm on the floor?_

"Hell if I know." With a loud groan, I turned over onto my back.

"Get your sorry ass up," Emmett growled as he kicked me in the ribs again. "You've had two days to wallow in your self-inflicted misery. Now get up and be a man for once in your life."

_What is his problem? And why is he screaming?_

"What the hell are you talking about?" I stammered as I struggled to my feet. I looked down at the floor and then to my clothes. I was wearing a tuxedo – a very wrinkled and whiskey-stained tuxedo. The room began its spinning again, so I dropped the empty bottle onto the floor and immediately crashed against the couch. The hasty motion made my head pound that much harder.

Emmett sighed heavily and sat down next to me. "You promised you wouldn't make her cry, and you promised you wouldn't be a douche. You lied."

I squinted in the rays of the bright daylight as I tried to focus on his face, and suddenly, my already pounding head was inundated with memories of the past two days. Some moments were a little fuzzy, and some didn't make sense at all. But there was one blinding memory that was clear as a bell.

_Bella is pregnant with my child._

"I was a douche," I admitted quietly, as I leaned my head back against the couch.

Emmett listened quietly as I recalled the last two days of my life. After questioning the paternity of her unborn baby by basically calling her a tramp, Bella had slapped my face and told me to get the hell out of her house. I'd been more than happy to oblige, and I'd made my way to the nearest bar. I could recall that the bar was seedy and not my kind of place at all, and I distinctly remembered the blonde who had lured me back to the billiards room and stripped down to nothing before lying across the pool table. I remembered really wanting to sleep with her because I was desperate to purge my head of any and all emotion, but my body just wouldn't cooperate. Just like all of the other girls I'd encountered in the past few weeks, this girl was all wrong. She didn't have long brown hair and wide doe eyes, and she didn't smell like strawberries.

So, instead, I'd taken a cab home, where I apparently drank myself into a stupor and passed out for two days.

"Let me see if I understand," Emmett chuckled darkly. "Are you saying that for the first time in your life, your dick has decided to play favorites?"

"It's not funny, Emmett."

"Oh, I beg to differ. I find it hilarious that you can't get it up for anyone but Bella."

"It's not that I _can't_," I muttered low as I carefully chose my words. "I just…don't… want to? It's hard to explain."

Emmett examined me carefully. "Well, that's not good. That pretty little girl hates your guts right now."

I buried my head in my hands. "Bella's pregnant."

"Yep."

"I'm the father."

"It would seem so, yes."

I sighed tiredly. "Look, I get that I handled this badly. But, damn, Em…it was a gut reaction. I don't know this girl at all. I'm just supposed to just assume the kid is mine because she says so?"

"No," he hedged carefully, "but you also shouldn't accuse her of being a tramp, which is what you did. That's your problem, Edward. You are a brilliant attorney who can convince a jury into acquitting a murderer if you turn on enough charm, but outside of the courtroom, you never think before you speak. Did you stop to consider for one moment that this woman could be the mother of your child?"

No, I hadn't considered it. Not for one second had I considered it. If I was forced to consider it, then that would mean that I would be forced to accept that it was a possibility.

"I can't be a father, Emmett."

"Yeah, well, it's not like you get a choice. Look, of course I have a biased version of Bella because she's Rosalie's best friend, but she's a sweet girl, and if she says the baby is yours then I'm betting it's true. Rose says that Bella isn't one to sleep around and that she hadn't had sex since the wedding."

"What about before the wedding?" I asked, hanging on to the last thread of hope I could find. Not that I wanted to imagine another man's hands on her, but I was desperate.

"I don't think so," Emmett said. "The doctor says she's about six weeks pregnant."

I groaned as I buried my head in my hands once again. "What the hell am I going to do?"

"You're going to be a man," Emmett announced. "You're going get out of that nasty ass tuxedo, take a shower, get dressed, and go over to Bella's apartment and knock on her door."

I swallowed nervously. "No, I'm not."

"Oh yes you are," Emmett chuckled, "and if she doesn't shoot your ass on sight – which I have to say is highly probable – you are going to get down on your hands and knees, beg for forgiveness, and tell her that she can count on you for whatever she needs. Rose says that she's scared to death, man. That's where you need to come in. You're going to apologize for your dumbass remarks. You're going to tell her that you don't know how to be a father, but you're going to try because you want to do what is right for her and your baby."

Just like me, Bella was scared. Of course she hadn't planned on this, either. She'd been so strong in telling me, and what did I do? I'd insulted her and left her in tears. I had hurt this beautiful girl who had occupied my dreams almost every night for the past six weeks…this incredible woman who occupied my every waking thought…this amazing girl who had made it impossible for me to be attracted to any other woman because they weren't her.

Could I fix the mess I'd made?

Would she let me?

Did I even know how?

My stomach clenched in terror as panic seized me. What the hell did I know about raising a baby? I didn't even like kids. Kids were loud and messy and annoying. I was a selfish and arrogant bastard, and I was sure to completely screw this up. What did I know about being a father?

"Em, what if I don't want to?"

Emmett cocked his head to the side. "Want to what?"

"Be a father."

He actually cackled. "Dude, didn't you hear me? You don't get a _choice_. It's not like you can say '_not my problem'_ and just walk away."

"Really?" I asked pathetically. "Fathers do it all the time."

"This is true." His tone was sarcastic. "You would know considering you've prosecuted several deadbeat dads in the past. Come on, Edward. You don't seriously want to join that elite club, do you? Besides, there are other important points to consider here."

I gritted my teeth. "Such as?"

"Your mother, for one. _Please _make sure that I'm in the room when you tell Esme Cullen that she has a grandchild on the way and that you don't want to be a part of its life. I can't wait to see how hard she bitch-slaps you."

I glared in his direction as he continued laughing at my expense. Esme had been begging for grandchildren for years. We'd all placed bets, and I'd been happy to participate, because I had been certain that Emmett would find himself in this predicament long before me.

"But most importantly," he continued quietly, "there's Bella."

The mere sound of her name filled me with shame.

"What about Bella?" I asked quietly.

"You've broken the heart of the only girl that you've ever wanted."

I snorted, but I couldn't look him in the eye.

"I've wanted lots of girls, Emmett."

"I think Bella's different, isn't she?" Emmett mused. "Pregnant or not, Bella has gotten under your skin. I saw it at the wedding, and I saw the way your eyes glazed over when you saw her at the auction."

I knew he was right. I could deny it all I wanted, but there was something about her that was unforgettable. Seeing her at the charity auction had solidified it. Bella was beautiful and smart and intriguing. And the _sex_…

Then I remembered that sex was the reason I was going to be a father, and that's when I vomited on my shoes.

***BPOV***

Thankfully, the banana Popsicle was soothing my stomach. Whoever coined the phrase "morning sickness" was a complete liar. Either that, or I was a freak of nature, because my _morning_ sickness was of the twenty-four hour variety. Morning. Noon. Late afternoon. Night. My body had no internal clock when it came to worshipping the porcelain god that was my toilet. According to the baby bible, I would probably be enjoying my morning sickness throughout my first trimester.

That's what it said - _enjoying_ my morning sickness.

I nibbled on my ice cream and glanced wearily at the book in my lap. The chick at the bookstore said it was the most popular book for new mothers, so of course I grabbed it. With my own mother thousands of miles away, I needed a survival guide of sorts.

After my post-Edward breakdown – which consisted of three days of tears and numerous ice cream interventions with Rosalie and Alice – I decided it was time to get a grip. I'd been reckless and careless, but there was no reason for an innocent baby to suffer because of my lack of judgment. I didn't need Edward in my life to raise this baby. I didn't even need his acknowledgement of this baby's existence. All I needed was me. Was I scared to death? Of course. Did I have a clue? None at all. But I was determined to figure it out. Single women raised babies every day. I would be one of them.

With that in mind, I decided to attack this whole pregnancy thing with the same commitment that I'd reserved for final exams in college. When I wasn't working or throwing up, I was reading pregnancy books. When I wasn't reading, I was on the Internet. I was like a woman possessed, eager for any and all information that could get me through these nine months. Once I gave birth, I'd have to buy more books and do more research because I'd need to figure out how exactly to _raise_ the baby. But for now, I was focusing on just being pregnant, and I was determined to make it through this period in my life without any further emotional breakdowns.

I had shed my very last tear for Edward Cullen.

A knock at my door interrupted my reverie, and I carefully laid the book on the couch as I made my way to the door.

"Who is it?" I yelled.

"It's Uncle Emmett!"

I groaned inwardly as I peeked through the peep hole. Sure enough, Emmett was standing there, smiling like an idiot and carrying a myriad of colorful bags.

"What do you want?"

"I come bearing gifts! Come on, Bella. It's just me."

I sighed as I opened the door. He didn't wait for an invitation. He just barreled through the door, hitting me with one of the gigantic bags on his way to the couch. When he was finally settled on the sofa, he glanced up at me.

"Nice popsicle."

"Thanks," I smirked, tossing the stick in the wastebasket by my desk. "They help with the nausea."

Emmett nodded as I made my way over to the couch.

"So, what's all this?" I asked.

"This," Emmett motioned with his massive arms, "is for my nephew."

I fought back a smile. "Your nephew, huh?"

"Yep," he grinned, patting the cushion beside of him. I rolled my eyes and sat down on the couch.

"You realize that your nephew – or _niece_ – is the size of a raspberry right now, don't you?"

"Doesn't matter. Babies need toys." He handed me a small blue bag. "Open this one first."

His enthusiasm was infectious, and I couldn't help but grin as I glanced down into the bag, finding a tiny Mariners' baseball hat and matching onesie. Thanks to the book, I could identify that particular piece of baby clothing by name.

"Aww, that's kind of cute, Em. Thanks."

"Oh, but there's more!" Emmett chuckled as he tossed me another bag. I couldn't help but notice that there was a pattern in the gifts. They were all very boyish and all very blue.

"You know, Emmett, there's a distinct possibility that this baby's a girl. I'm pretty sure it's a fifty/fifty shot at this point."

"Not happening." Emmett nodded stubbornly. "There hasn't been a Cullen girl in over twenty years."

"Hmm…." I didn't have the heart to tell him that this baby was a Swan. He'd brought lots of gifts, after all, and I didn't want to rain on his parade. "This is all really nice. Thanks, Emmett."

"You're welcome," he replied quietly before taking a deep breath. "Listen, I want to talk to you about Edward."

My entire body bristled at the sound of his name. "I don't want to talk about Edward."

"I get it, I really do. He was a complete ass and he deserved that smack across the face and more, but he's coming to terms with things, and he's going to try to make things right."

My forehead creased. "What exactly does that mean?"

"Umm…" Emmett cleared this throat nervously. "…I kind of convinced him to come over here and beg for forgiveness."

I chuckled. Was he serious?

"Well, you might as well tell him not to bother because I'm not in a very forgiving mood where Edward Cullen is concerned. Is that what prompted this frightening display of gifts? You're trying to butter me up?"

"Not at all," Emmett said, and I instantly felt bad for jumping to that conclusion. "I really just wanted to bring my nephew some toys."

"I'm sorry, but honestly, Emmett, what's the point? He made it very clear that he wants nothing to do with me or this baby. I don't need or want his money. I don't need or want his help. He's convinced that this baby is just some random guy's child, and that's fine because I don't give a shit what he believes. I did the right thing. I told him the truth, and he threw it back in my face and called me a tramp. So, you can tell your brother to save his apologies and that he can kiss my ass."

Emmett grimaced sadly. "You have every right to be pissed, Bella…but please, just hear him out. He really likes you. I have never seen him look at a woman the way he looks at you, and I've seen Edward with _a lot_ of women in my time."

"I'm sure you have," I muttered bitterly as I clutched my stomach. "I think I need another Popsicle."

"I'll get it," Emmett offered, and I watched as he made his way to my fridge. He returned quickly, actually taking the time to unwrap it for me. I leaned back against the cushion and nibbled slowly.

"Bella, the last thing I want to do is upset you. Let him apologize. Please let him try to make this right. I really want to know my nephew, and my parents are going to be thrilled when they find out that they have a grandchild coming into this world. They're good people. Edward's a good person, too, underneath that mask of immaturity and superiority."

"I would never shut you out…any of you," I promised him. "Just because Edward is choosing not to be a part of this baby's life doesn't mean that the rest of you should suffer. I'm not that selfish."

"I don't think Edward really made that choice. He just freaked out. A baby just wasn't in his plan, you know?"

"You think it was in mine?" I asked incredulously. "I don't know what I'm doing. I'm throwing up all the time, I cry at the drop of a hat, and I'm scared out of my mind, but, unlike Edward, I don't have a choice." I pointed to my stomach. "There's a baby growing inside of me. I can't just throw a temper tantrum and ignore it."

"I know," Emmett nodded seriously. "I know he threw a tantrum, but I don't think he's going to ignore it any longer. He cares about you, more than I think he's willing to admit. I think he's scared to death of you, and not just because you're carrying his child."

"Scared of me?" I asked softly. "Why would he be scared of me?"

Emmett flashed me a grin. "I think he needs to tell you that himself, and I really hope you give him the chance." Em reached into his pocket and pulled out a card. "Listen, here are all of my numbers. I want you to call me, day or night, if you ever need anything. More popsicles…more toys…a shoulder to cry on. Anything."

I smiled softly as I took his card. "You're really sweet, Emmett. Thanks. And thanks again for all of the presents." I took another look around and frowned slightly. "I really hope for your sake that it's a boy."

"It's a boy," he chuckled as he stood, and I followed him as he made his way toward the door. "Will you think about what I said about my brother?"

"I just need some time, Emmett," I whispered. "I'm still too furious to be objective about him right now. I just want to concentrate on my baby and ignore any and all drama. He made it very clear to me that he wanted nothing to do with this. I won't beg him, and we'll be just fine without him."

"I understand," Emmett nodded, "but I think he needs to beg _you_." Emmett's face suddenly flashed with mischief. "I'm not saying forgive him right away. Make him work for it a little, but when he does start begging, I want you to take video because I would really hate to miss seeing that."

After he left, I took all of the toys and clothes and placed them in the guest bedroom. I'd never really decorated in here because I never had guests. Right now, the walls were stark white and a full-sized bed was nestled in the corner. Obviously, that would have to go. I tried to imagine what a nursery might look like. I didn't know exactly what a baby would need – I had yet to make it to the furniture portion of my research – but I knew the basics…a crib, a changing table, a dresser, a rocker. And, of course, a book shelf full of books because my kid was going to be a reader.

Deciding I could probably handle some lunch, I grabbed my bag and my book and made my way down to the _Cherry Street Coffee House_. It was my favorite place to eat in Seattle because it was close to my apartment _and_ they had the best veggie burgers in town. I waved at the owner and ordered my lunch before making my way to my cozy corner booth. I was deeply involved with my burger and the chapter titled "How to Break the Happy News to the Family" when I felt someone standing next to me. I glanced up, and my eyes widened as I recognized Esme Cullen's lovely face.

"Bella!" She smiled widely. "I thought that was you. How are you, dear?"

I quickly shut my book and swallowed nervously. "Mrs. Cullen, it's nice to see you again."

"Please call me Esme," she smiled warmly. "I was just in the neighborhood doing a little shopping. Carlisle loves this place, so I thought I'd take him some lunch. He really loves their veggie burgers."

I laughed lightly as I pointed toward my plate. "So do I."

"May I?" Esme nodded toward the empty seat across from me. I nodded, and I felt my stomach flip-flop. First the uncle and now the grandmother? All I needed was the father to show up and I'd be sure to upchuck my lunch.

"You look a little pale, sweetheart," Esme murmured softly as she patted my hand. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Umm…no, actually." I couldn't exactly lie to the woman. She was really sweet and warm, and I found myself wishing that she was my mother. Plus, she had Edward's green eyes. They weren't as brilliantly emerald as his, but they were still beautiful, and I caught myself wondering if my baby would have his eyes.

"A stomach bug?" Esme asked with concern.

"Not exactly," I mumbled, desperately wishing she'd change the subject. Obviously, neither Edward nor Emmett had told her about the pregnancy. Was I expected to do this shit all by myself? I hadn't even told my _own _mother. Or my father.

_Those are going to be fun conversations._

"What is that you're reading?" Esme asked gently as her fingers hovered over my book, and I mentally kicked myself for not throwing my baby bible in my bag. I bit my lip as she read the title, and I watched as her eyes softened. "Oh! Well, that certainly explains the nausea. Congratulations, Bella."

"Thanks," I whispered as I stared down at my sandwich. My appetite was long gone.

"I know this is none of my business, dear, but I'm assuming by the look on your face that this wasn't a planned pregnancy. How far along are you?"

_It's actually very much your business._

"About six weeks," I whispered. I could not lie to this woman, but I certainly wasn't about to tell her that I was carrying her grandchild.

"I see," she finally murmured. "Are you okay? Do you have a good doctor?"

"I will be okay," I replied softly but firmly. "The morning sickness is the worst so far, but I have a great doctor. I'm just trying to figure it all out, you know?"

Esme nodded. "And the father…is he supportive?"

I laughed.

"Not exactly, no." I sighed heavily as I picked at my burger. "It's a really long story, but he wants nothing to do with the baby, and that's fine with me."

"He said that?" Esme asked almost angrily, but she recovered quickly and gently took my hand in hers.

"Yes, Ed….I mean, _he_ made it very clear."

Anger flashed in her eyes as mine welled with tears.

"Esme, I really can't discuss this with you," I whispered faintly. "Not just yet, anyway."

"Bella," she murmured gently, her voice sweet but coaxing. "Is there something I should know?"

I bit my lip nervously as my stomach began to roll. "I can't lie to you, Esme. You're sweet and wonderful…and I just can't sit here and discuss this with you. You really need to talk to your son. Please excuse me."

I grabbed my stuff and ran toward the restroom. I slammed the stall door and dropped my bag to the floor as I emptied the contents of my lunch. I didn't know if I could blame this particular moment on morning sickness or on the fact that I'd just outted Daddy Edward to his mother. Either way, it sucked.

I washed my mouth out before grabbing my stuff and making my way back into the restaurant. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that Esme was gone. Deciding I better warn at least one brother, I dug into my bag and found Emmett's card. I plopped down into my booth and quickly sent him a text. It was only two little words, but I knew he'd understand my cryptic message.

_Grandma knows._

***EPOV***

I looked at myself in the mirror as I fixed the collar on my polo. My hair was its usual unruly pile of shit and I looked like I'd been hit by a truck. That's how I felt, too, so I thought the description was fairly accurate. I tied my sneakers and took a deep breath as I poised myself to actually get off this couch and walk out the door.

No matter how much of an ass I'd been, I knew that I had to try to make it right. I didn't know Bella that well, but I got the sense that she was a strong and independent woman. That slap across the face had hurt like hell, but I'd deserved it. It bothered me a great deal that I'd upset her so much, and at the very least, I had to apologize for that. I was a notoriously selfish bastard, but I could also recognize when I'd crossed the line, and with Bella, I'd done more than cross it. I'd completely ignored it and showed her what a truly arrogant ass I really am.

After Emmett finally left, I stared out my bedroom window and really contemplated our situation. I could ignore it all I wanted, but I was going to be a father. Bella was pregnant, and I was responsible for that. I had been careless that weekend, and that recklessness had brought us here.

The thoughts of being a father scared the living shit out of me, and it was a little comforting to know that she was scared, too. I didn't _want_ her to be scared, but it was nice to know that I wasn't the only one. It was ironic that I'd been given that sense of peace considering I hadn't afforded Bella the same. I left her there with tears streaming down her face. I left her alone, knowing she was upset and scared. My words hurt her deeply, and in my selfishness, I'd walked right out the door. Of course, she'd told me to get the hell out, but I shouldn't have left her like that. I needed to apologize for that, as well.

I just had no idea what I was going to say.

I had actually placed both feet on the floor when my cell phone vibrated in my pocket. I glanced down at the screen and immediately fell back onto the couch.

_**Grandma knows. You're a dead man. - Emmett**_

Just then, I heard the distinct pounding of a fist against my door, following by the furious voice of Esme Cullen.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, open this door right this minute!"

_Damn it._

I heaved a sigh as I made my way over to the door. I'd barely opened it before I was knocked backwards by the force of my tiny mother barging through it. She looked completely pissed, and suddenly, I was a six year old boy cringing under his mother's livid stare.

She gazed intently at me. "Why are you on the floor?"

I rolled my eyes. "Because you knocked me on my ass."

"You deserve to be knocked on your ass," my mother huffed as she stepped over me on way over to my couch.

"Actually, I was just on my way out…."

"I don't care. You are going to tell me why I just saw a visibly upset Bella at the coffee shop."

"You saw Bella?" I asked excitedly as I pulled myself up from the floor and quickly made my way over to the couch.

Esme regarded me coolly. "Yes, I saw Bella. She looked positively pale and was reading a baby book. When I asked if she had plenty of support from the baby's father, she told me a particularly horrifying story about the father of the baby and the fact that he wanted nothing to do with his child."

I swallowed anxiously but kept my mouth shut.

Mom noticed my anxiety and promptly ignored it.

"You know that I'm rarely one to pry," she said, "but Bella looked so scared and alone, so I asked a few more questions before I was told that she couldn't discuss this with me and that I needed to talk to my son. Now, I am assuming by the way that you were completely captivated by her at the auction that Emmett isn't the one I should be calling."

I bowed my head in embarrassment.

"Bella's pregnant."

"I know that part," my mother snapped.

"The baby is mine."

A deathly silence hung in the air. Finally, Esme sighed deeply and placed her hand along my face.

"Edward, did you really tell her that you wanted nothing to do with the baby?"

I sighed miserably as I leaned back against the couch. "Not in so many words, no, but I can see where she'd come to that conclusion."

I spent the next hour spilling my guts to my mother. I left out the more graphic moments of the wedding weekend, but by the end of the hour, my mother knew everything that I knew about Bella Swan and everything that'd gone down in the past six weeks. My mother listened intently and didn't once interrupt…that is, until I mentioned that I hadn't been able to get Bella out of mind.

"You have feelings for her," my mother announced calmly, but I could hear a hint of awe in her voice. "I could tell at the auction that you were completely smitten with her."

"It doesn't matter," I whispered sadly. "I have completely screwed it up."

"Then you're just going to have to fix it."

"I don't know how."

"You apologize, for starters," Esme said. "You tell her that you're an idiot, and that you will spend the rest of your life making it up to her. You tell her that you are going to be a father to that child, and that she can rely on you for anything."

"The rest of my life?" I chuckled nervously.

Mom searched my face. "You really don't understand, do you? You may not be _romantically_ committed to her just yet, but you have created a child with this woman. You will be linked to Bella for the rest of your lives. She needs to know that she can depend on you, Edward. If nothing else, you are and always will be this baby's father. That needs to be your first priority right now."

I nervously ran my hand through my hair, pulling the ends harshly.

"I'm scared, Mom."

"I know you are," my mother said softly, "and I don't mean to dismiss that, but think about how scared you are right at this moment, and then multiply it by a thousand. That's how scared _Bella_ is right now, and that fear isn't good for Bella or the baby."

"She hates me."

"Can you blame her?"

"No."

My mother smiled softly at me. "Go fix this, Edward. Do whatever you have to do to make her feel safe. Go now."

Esme kissed me on the cheek before taking my hand and leading me toward the door. I grabbed my jacket and closed the door behind us. I was just locking my door when Mom squeezed my hand.

"Oh, and Edward?"

"Yes?"

"She'll probably tell you to go away," Mom murmured gently as she smiled at me.

"I know. I'm prepared for that."

"What will you do?"

I looked down into my mother's soft green eyes.

"I'll beg to stay."

**Cherry Street Coffee House is a real place in Seattle. Check them out on the web. Such cute little shops!**


	6. Cleaning My Soul

**AN: You can thank my awesome beta, snarkerella, for getting this chapter to you so quickly. **

**Chapter title comes from "Sorry" by Daughtry.**

**Let the groveling begin! **

* * *

**Chapter 6**

**_Cleaning My Soul_**

*BPOV*

After my disastrous lunch and frantic text to Emmett, I'd stopped by the office to check the assignment board. I was happy to see that I'd been given an assignment to interview one of the city's mayoral candidates for next week's edition. I smiled happily as I made my way to my cubicle. Jake waved at me from his own desk, and I was thankful to see that he was on the phone. Jake had an uncanny ability to detect when I was lying, and I wasn't ready for him and the entire office to know that I'd faked the stomach flu.

While my personal life was in complete upheaval, my professional life couldn't have been better. Harry had emailed me regarding my article, and he'd been impressed that I'd scored an interview with Carlisle Cullen. As I expected, Harry noticed the family's passionate interest in childhood leukemia. _There's a story there_, Harry hinted more than once, but I refused to take the bait. I was carrying a Cullen grandchild, so I was pretty sure my digging into their personal affairs would create a massive conflict of interest. Despite my reluctance, Harry complimented me on my piece and told me to check the assignment board when I was feeling better. I was thrilled that he was finally giving me the chance to cover important news instead of the fluff pieces I'd been assigned for the past six months.

After I escaped the office undetected, I made a quick stop at the store. I was running dangerously low on Popsicles, but I also knew that I couldn't survive on popsicles alone. I had to find something that I could keep down, so I grabbed ingredients for soup, thinking Grandma Swan's chicken noodle soup might do the trick. This baby and I really needed to work out a food menu, because Mama was starving.

I finally made my way to my apartment door and was fumbling with my keys when a velvet voice startled me, causing me to drop one of the bags of groceries.

"Sorry," Edward whispered as he kneeled to the ground to pick up the contents of the bag. Stunned that he was actually here, I watched wearily as he picked up my popsicles and the box of crackers and placed them back in the bag. He rose to his feet and regarded me cautiously. "I didn't mean to scare you."

He was actually here, standing in front of my door, holding my Popsicles.

"Let me help you with those," he murmured, nodding toward the bag in my hand.

Wordlessly, I extended my hand. With a sigh, he handed me my bag of dropped groceries. I walked around him and placed my key in my lock.

"Bella…" he whispered as I pushed the door open with my foot. Without turning around, I kicked the door closed – right in his handsome face.

I ignored his incessant knocking as I put away the groceries. After half an hour, I finally put my iPod buds in my ear and started opening the ingredients to make my soup. At the end of each song, my ears would automatically detect the sound of his persistent knocking.

I filled my bowl with soup and made my way to the living room. The knocking had ceased after an hour, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I was just turning on the television when I felt my cell phone vibrate with a text message. I glanced down at the screen, and I nearly screamed.

**I'm not leaving.**

_How the hell did he get my number?_

I tossed my phone onto the couch and ignored his text. He didn't continue knocking, but I heard a distinct thump, leading me to think that his legs had finally given out and he was now propped against my door. I ignored the thump and ate my soup.

A few moments later, my phone vibrated again. This time, I waited an entire fifteen minutes before glancing at the screen.

**I know I'm a bastard. I'm sorry.**

I stared at the screen, wondering what he was sorry for. For being an arrogant ass since the first moment we met? For getting me pregnant? For dismissing me as if I was one of his cheap whores? For pounding on my door for over an hour?

My fingers ghosted along the keys, eager to ask for which transgression he was apologizing.

_You aren't speaking to him, remember?_

I swiftly closed my phone. I'd just turn it off if I wasn't afraid that I'd miss a call from work. Almost instantly, there was another message.

**Please talk to me.**

I smirked as I realized he had resorted to begging.

Good.

By nine, the texting had stopped, and I breathed a sigh of relief, grateful that he'd finally given up and gone home. I quickly cleaned up the kitchen and loaded the dishwasher before grabbing my baby bible and heading to my bed. I climbed under the covers and snuggled against my pillow, looking forward to reading the section on relaxation techniques for a stress-free pregnancy.

Before I could even flip to the page, I was fast asleep.

* * *

I woke up feeling relaxed and well-rested…and starving to death! Excited that I wasn't hugging my toilet this morning, I ran to the kitchen and made a breakfast of eggs and bacon. I'd barely given the eggs time to touch the pan before I was flipping them onto my plate and devouring them. I'd always preferred scrambled eggs, but today, I was craving them and they were delicious.

_Note to self – baby likes sunny side up._

Thrilled that I was nausea-free at least for the moment, I finished my breakfast and quickly took a shower. I was feeling so good that I decided to dress-up a little today, so I grabbed a cream-colored blouse and a navy knee-length skirt to wear with a pair of pumps. I pulled my hair back into a sleek ponytail and grabbed my bag and phone. Just as I was opening the door, a man's body – and his head – fell at my feet.

I was too stunned to speak. I merely stared down into his scorching green eyes as he smirked up at me.

"Good morning, Songbird."

"What the hell are you doing here so early?" I blurted incredulously.

His smiled brightened as he made his way to his feet. "You're actually acknowledging my existence? I'm honored."

_Shit. _I snapped my mouth shut and turned around to lock my door.

"And for your information," Edward continued rapidly. "I never left. I told you I wasn't leaving."

_He'd been out here all night?_

I couldn't decide if he was being sweet or if he was just insane. Deciding I wasn't quite finished being pissed off, I chose the latter.

"Please just talk to me," Edward said softly as he leaned closer. "I know I was an asshole, and I want to apologize for that. Please talk to me, Bella."

He was staring at me with those green eyes, and I could feel it…whatever it was that kept drawing me to him no matter how hard I tried to resist. It unnerved me to be so close to him.

"I'm going to be late for work," I whispered.

"Will you meet me for lunch? Dinner? Whatever you want, Bella."

I shook my head as I stared at my shoes. "I can't do this, Edward. You made it very clear how you feel. Why are you here?"

Edward sighed softly. "That's not how I feel, and I'm here because this is where I should be. You have to let me apologize."

He was the most infuriating man I'd ever met. How dare he camp out at my front door all night long and make me feel sorry for his arrogant ass.

"I don't _have _to let you do anything, now please get out of my way. I'm going to be late for work."

Edward groaned. "Of course, you don't _have _to do that. I'm sorry, but would you at least let me try to apologize to you?"

"I neither want nor need your apology," I replied firmly as I held my head high and stared into his eyes. "Now leave me alone."

I held his gaze, and he held mine, neither of us willing to let the other get the upper hand. Edward Cullen was used to getting his way. He was a high-priced attorney who could charm his way out of any situation if he used the right words. He was playing me – looking at me with those emerald eyes and begging to make a heartfelt apology. Six weeks ago, I would have fallen for it. I _had_ fallen for it. _Twice._

Never again.

"I'm going to work," I repeated firmly. "If you are here when I get back, I'll call the police."

Edward's eyes flashed with aggravation, and I took pride in the fact that I was pissing him off.

"You can call the National Guard for all I care. I'm not giving up, Bella."

"You don't have a choice, Edward."

With that, I stepped around him and made my way to the office.

* * *

My delicious breakfast and my clash with Edward kept a smug smile on my face throughout the morning. How dare he think he could bully me into accepting his apology? Did he really think that living outside my door was going to make me forget the horrible things he said? Did he really think that sending a few text messages was going to grant him forgiveness?

The morning passed quickly, and before I knew it, it was time for lunch. Thrilled that the baby was still happy with its breakfast, I excitedly logged off my computer and tried to decide what I wanted for lunch. Just as I stood up from my chair, a flash of copper hair could be seen from the stairs. I watched in disbelief as Edward accosted one of the copy editors. They both turned in my direction as she pointed my way, and I groaned when his eyes found me. I rolled my eyes and ducked back down into my cubicle. Of course, it was too late, and I wasn't at all surprised when he made his way to my side just moments later.

"You're far too pretty to be hiding in a cubicle."

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Are you deaf? I told you to leave me alone.

"And I told you I wasn't giving up."

I was furious. "And I told _you _that you didn't have a choice!"

Edward ran his hands through his hair, and I wondered if he was trying to look sexy or if it was just a nervous habit.

_Not that he looked sexy or anything_.

"You are the most frustrating woman I've ever met."

"Yeah, well, you can blame it on the mommy hormones," I snapped impatiently. I grabbed my bag and jacket. "Now, leave me alone. My child is hungry."

Edward's eyes danced with something that vaguely resembled…._joy_?

"_Our_ child," Edward whispered as he leaned against my desk. "Let me take you and our child out to lunch, Bella."

"_My_ child," I emphasized through gritted teeth, "and no."

Just then, Jake suddenly appeared at our side. He took a long look at Edward before turning his attention to me.

"Everything okay here?"

Edward's eyes narrowed as Jake wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"Everything is fine," I smiled sweetly at my friend. "Would you please take me to lunch?"

"_I'm_ taking you to lunch," Edward growled. I noticed that his eyes remained glued to Jake's hand on my shoulder, and I almost giggled at the absurdity of the situation. Edward obviously had no gaydar, so I used that knowledge to my advantage and snuggled into Jake's embrace.

Yes, it was immature.

No, I didn't care.

Thankfully, Jake got the hint. "Sure, Bella. I'd be happy to take you to lunch."

I glared one more time in Edward's direction, and if I had any feelings for him at all, I might be concerned that he was having a stroke. His face was fire-engine red and his eyes were murderous as he kept his steely gaze on Jake.

_Yeah, it's a good thing that I didn't have any feelings for the man._

"Good, I'm starving," I said, and I didn't look back as Jake and I walked up the stairs and out of the news room.

* * *

"Honey, you've lost your mind, you realize this, right?"

I had spent my lunch hour spilling my guts to Jake, who had clapped excitedly when I announced I was pregnant with Edward's child. After that fun confession, I was now happily nibbling on my chicken salad sandwich and watching the birds flutter around the park fountain.

"Why do you say that?" I asked in between bites.

"That man wants you," Jake grinned as he stabbed at his salad. "I'm surprised I made it out of there alive. You know I'm a lover and not a fighter. What would Seth say if I came home all mangled and broken because I was helping you make your baby-daddy jealous?"

"Stop calling him that," I muttered, "and he's not jealous. He just thinks he has some claim to me because he knocked me up."

"Not true," Jake argued. "I saw the way he was looking at you at that reception. Edward Cullen wants you, whether you're pregnant or not."

"He hurt me, Jake. I can't just forget that."

"You shouldn't forget it," Jake agreed as he tossed his lunch into the trash can next to our bench. "But don't you think you owe it to your child to at least hear him out?"

"No," I stated flatly. "He made it very clear that he wanted nothing to do with this child. He even accused _you _of being the father! Well, one of the fathers…"

Jake shuddered. "No wonder he was ready to kill me, but regardless, he looks like he's changed his mind about that. He's being pretty persistent for someone who doesn't care, and you aren't without blame here, Bella."

My eyes snapped to his. "What do you mean?"

"_Two_ people were irresponsible that weekend," Jake reminded me softly. "Two ambitious, hard-working, power-driven people who have just found out that they made a baby together. You really know nothing about each other. If the situations were reversed, wouldn't you have questioned _him_?"

"Well, of course! You said that he's one of the biggest manwhores in Seattle."

"Allegedly," Jake stressed. "_Allegedly_ one of the biggest manwhores in Seattle…"

"You _never_ said allegedly."

"Anyway…" Jake sighed, "…the point is you would have questioned him. He doesn't know you at all, Bella. Why should he just assume you're telling the truth?"

"That's…valid," I agreed with a mutter, "but it was the _way_ he questioned me."

"He was wrong, entirely and completely wrong, but shouldn't he get the chance to apologize for that? He seems to really want to. If all he wanted was sex, a man like Edward Cullen wouldn't have to sit by your door all night long or stalk you at work. He could get that anywhere. He seems to honestly want to make amends. Shouldn't you let him try?"

I was back in my cubicle and still pondering Jake's question when I heard my name being called from the stairs.

_Good grief, what now?_

Slowly, I glanced over my cubicle wall and saw a delivery guy standing there with a gigantic bouquet of roses.

_White roses._

"I'll take those," I heard Jake say as he tipped the delivery boy. "Oh, Bella…that horrible, terrible man has sent you these beautiful flowers!"

I rolled my eyes and dropped back down into my chair. Jake slowly placed the vase on my desk.

"Wow, a whole dozen this time," I muttered bitterly, ignoring how good they smelled and how pretty they looked.

"No, honey, that's _two _dozen."

"You counted?"

"Of course," Jake grinned as he waved something in the air, "and there's a card."

I snatched the card out of his hand. "Like I wouldn't know who they're from?"

Jake laughed as he made his way back to his cubicle in the corner. I slinked back down into my chair and slowly opened the card.

_**You look so beautiful today.**_

He was either completely full of shit, or I was in serious trouble.

I had my answer when I went home late that afternoon and found him sitting against the door of my apartment.

"Hi," Edward whispered as he rose to his feet. "Oh, you got them." He nodded to the flowers in my hand. I was forced to bring them home considering they took up all of the space on my very small desk.

"Yes," I managed softly. "They're beautiful."

"Like you."

He sounded so sincere, and that was only reason I was able to resist the urge to roll my eyes. Edward moved to the side as I pulled my keys out of my jacket and opened my door.

"Thank you for the flowers," I whispered, and then I closed the door.

The next four days were just the same. Every morning, he'd be waiting outside my door. Each day at noon, he'd stop by the newsroom and ask if he could take me to lunch, to which I'd always say no. Every day, around three, the poor delivery boy would arrive with another bouquet of white roses. And each afternoon, I'd go home to find him sitting next to my apartment door. I'd thank him for the flowers, and I'd close the door in his face.

Each day was the same. Only the cards were different.

Throughout the rest of the week, the handwritten cards had become more heartfelt. Instead of saying something flattering about me, he'd say something completely unexpected about him. After opening each new card, I would take all of the tiny cards out of my desk drawer and line them up side-by-side, trying desperately to read between the lines.

_**You look so beautiful today.**_

_**I want to take care of you and our baby.**_

_**I can't stop thinking about you.**_

_**I dream about you every night.**_

It was today's _four _dozen roses and accompanying card that hit me the hardest. In Edward's perfect handwriting, he'd written the second verse of the song that I'd sang for him in the piano bar.

_**To you, I'll give the world  
To you, I'll never be cold  
Cause I feel that when I'm with you,  
It's alright, I know it's right.**_

_**Please forgive me, Songbird**_

No matter how much I wanted to deny it, I couldn't ignore the fact that I was drawn to him on some deep, elemental level. Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones surging through me, or maybe he was just wearing me down with all of the sappy notes, but it was getting harder and harder to close that door in his face each night.

"Tell me what to do," I begged Rosalie as she walked me home that evening. She'd been uncharacteristically quiet throughout this entire ordeal. I relied on her to be my voice of reason since she was so good at keeping emotion and logic separate.

"What does Alice say?" She asked gently as we walked arm-in arm.

"You know Alice. She's a romantic at heart."

"She thinks you should forgive him."

I shrugged. "She thinks I should at least have a conversation with him."

"Hmm," Rosalie murmured as we finally made our way to my apartment building. We sat down on the steps and looked out at the steady stream of traffic passing by.

"You know I'll hate him forever for upsetting you like he did," Rose said, "but I do believe that he's sorry. Emmett says he's a mess, and Esme is worried to death about both of you. All of this drama isn't good for the baby."

"So I should forgive him?" I asked cautiously.

Rose sighed. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Alice. I think you two need to have a very long conversation."

"Emmett has made you such a softie," I grinned at her before looking up at my building. "Fifty bucks says he's at my door right now."

"I'm not taking that bet," Rosalie smirked. "He's been camped out at your door for the past five days. I'm sure to lose."

"Want to scare the shit out of him and walk me to my door?"

Rose's grin was evil. "Yes!"

We were giggling as we made our way up the stairs and onto my floor. As predicted, there was Edward – in his suit and tie – sitting next to my door. His eyes widened when he saw Rosalie, and I could have sworn I heard him whisper an expletive under his breath. I bit my lip to avoid laughing.

"Hello, Edward," she grinned sweetly.

He looked stunned that she was being so civil.

"Hello, Rosalie."

"Don't you have a home?"

Edward cleared his throat and rose to his feet before staring straight at her. "Yes, I do. My home is wherever Bella and our child are."

Rosalie glanced at me, and I shrugged helplessly. He'd been saying sweet shit like that all week.

"Wow," she muttered appreciatively, "you are either the smoothest bastard I've ever met or you're absolutely crazy about her."

I walked around both of them and unlocked my door, pushing it and leaving it wide open.

"Which do you think it is?" I heard him ask softly.

I turned around and stood in the doorway, watching my best friend and the father of my child in an old-fashioned stare down. It was really quite impressive to witness.

Suddenly, Rosalie grinned at him. "I'm going to let Bella decide. Try not to screw it up this time."

Rosalie waved goodbye, and Edward turned toward me – excitement etched across his handsome face. His eyes were sparkling with anticipation, and it was mind-boggling to think that I was the reason he looked so hopeful.

"Did my delivery boy fail me today?" Edward asked softly as he leaned against the wall outside my door.

He noticed I wasn't carrying any flowers today.

"Oh no, he delivered them," I assured him. "I just couldn't carry four vases home. They're all in the newsroom on various desks throughout the office. One of our advertisers walked in and thought he'd entered a florist."

Edward laughed lightly. "Did you at least read the card?"

"Yes. I've read them all. We should probably talk about those."

"Okay," Edward murmured as he looked down at his shoes. I sighed heavily and braced my hands on the door for support as I uttered the words I thought I'd never say.

"So are you coming in or what?"

Edward's head snapped up, his eyes beseeching mine. "Really?"

"Really."

Happy but hesitant, he slowly walked into my apartment, and I closed the door behind us.

"Have a seat," I mumbled as I made my way over to the desk and tossed my bag and jacket on the chair. "Do you want something to drink?"

"Yes, but you can't drink, so…"

I grinned. "I have water, juice, soft drinks…"

"Juice is fine."

I could feel his eyes on me as I made my way into the kitchen. The open layout of the apartment was what had attracted me to it, but right now, I could have used a wall to give me a few minutes to gather myself. Instead, I ignored his penetrating stare and made myself a sandwich.

"Sandwich?" I offered as I opened the mustard. The aroma of the condiment – a scent I usually love – was really wreaking havoc on my tummy. Blaming it on my nerves, I shrugged it off and finished coating the bread. I really didn't want to eat in front of him – especially when we were getting ready to have a serious conversation – but I was starving.

"No, thanks."

I carried two juices and my sandwich over to the couch. I plopped down next to him and offered him a bottle.

"Thanks."

I nodded as I curled my feet under me and dug into my sandwich. He was still watching my every move, and he looked petrified, so I decided to put him out of his misery.

"You can relax," I mumbled between bites.

"I just can't believe you let me in."

"That makes two of us," I replied as I took a drink of my juice. "You kind of wore me down with all of the stalking and flowers and sappy cards. You can stop sending them now, by the way…although I'm sure the florist will miss you terribly. He can probably go on an extended vacation thanks to you."

Edward laughed. "It was worth every penny if it means you'll talk to me."

"I'm not talking to you because of the flowers. I'm talking to you because a very good friend reminded me that if our situations had been reversed, I probably would have reacted the same way, except I hope I wouldn't have been as rude."

"What's your friend's name?" Edward grinned. "I'd like to send her some flowers of her own for helping me out."

"_His_ name is Jake Black. You met him, remember?"

Edward's eyes darkened, and I stifled a giggle.

"I remember," he muttered irritably.

I finished the last bite of my sandwich and placed the plate on the coffee table. "I think he likes tulips. Oh, but you may not want to put your name on the card. His boyfriend, Seth – who you met at the auction – might get a little jealous."

Edward's eyes narrowed. "Wait. Jake and Seth are gay?"

"That's right," I replied as I took another sip of my juice.

"And I accused you…"

I nodded.

Edward's gaze fell onto his lap. "So I'm an even bigger ass than I thought."

I didn't agree or disagree, because I knew neither would be productive to the conversation.

"Jake reminded me that you didn't know me at all, so your reaction was understandable."

"I just panicked," Edward admitted quietly, "but that doesn't excuse what I said to you. I'm so sorry, Bella. I was expecting to come over here and…well, you know what I was expecting…and instead, you told me that you were pregnant, and I just went into defense mode and…"

"I understand."

_Please God, don't let me cry in front of this man._

"No, you have to let me do this," Edward said urgently as he climbed off the couch and fell to his knees before me. I gasped as he grabbed my hands and gazed up at me with pleading eyes. Just like before, his touch sent tiny jolts of electricity through me. "You have to let me say these things to you because you may never give me another chance."

He looked down at my fingers, and my breath hitched as he slowly laced his fingers with mine. His hands were warm and he was gazing at me with so much emotion that I was sure I was going to cry. I'd been so strong these past few days, but being this close to him when he was being so sweet and repentant was finally going to break me.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'm sorry that I made you cry. I'm sorry that I made you feel like you were all alone. I was so scared, and I'm _still_ scared, but I know you're scared too, and I just want the chance to make this up to you. I have never begged for anything in my life, but I will beg for this."

"Why? Why are you doing this?"

"Because this is my baby, too," he murmured gently, "and I want to be a part of its life… even though I'm fairly positive I'll be the worst father ever…but I really want to try."

He let go of one of my hands and brushed a strand of my hair out of face. "I want you to trust me, but I know that I have to earn it. Please let me try."

He wasn't asking me to forgive him. It was as if he knew that I wasn't ready to do that just yet. He was just asking me to give him a chance to deserve it.

Could I do that?

"Tell me about the cards," I said softly.

"Which one?" Edward smirked.

I pulled my hand out of his and rose from the couch. I made my way over to my bag and pulled the cards out of my wallet. He was still kneeling on the floor when I returned to my place on the sofa.

"You don't have to beg on your knees, you know."

Edward's face was grim. "Yes, I do."

Sighing, I climbed down onto the carpet next to him and leaned my back against the couch. He sat down and turned to face me. Our bodies were barely touching, but it was enough to remind me of all kinds of things that I shouldn't be remembering during this very important conversation. I took a deep breath and handed him the five cards.

"This one," he pointed toward the very first card he'd sent me, "was the day you wore that blouse and skirt. I thought you looked gorgeous, so I told you so."

I blushed slightly as he flipped to the next card.

"This one is fairly self-explanatory. I know you don't need my help, but I do want to take care of you and our baby."

I bit my lip nervously as he made his way to the more sentimental cards.

"I think about you all the time," Edward whispered softly, his eyes gazing into mine. "I've done nothing but think about you since Jasper's wedding. I can't even look at another woman without thinking of you, so I finally just stopped trying."

"You don't date anymore?"

"I never _date_," Edward smirked, "but no, there's no one else."

"You don't seem like the kind of guy who likes to be alone," I remarked quietly. "Why are you alone now?"

Edward gazed at me intently before taking a deep breath.

"It's really hard to explain, but it's kind of connected to the next card."

_**I dream about you every night.**_

"Is that true?" I asked shakily.

"Every night since the wedding. Well…there was one night that I didn't, but it was because I'd run ten miles just to try to get you off my mind. But yes, I dream about you every single night, and that's why I can't be with anyone else."

He stared into my eyes, and I had to lower my head just so that as I could process these revelations. Suddenly, his finger was along the bottom of my chin and tilting it toward his face. Somehow during our conversation, we'd moved closer, and his face was inches from mine.

"No one compares to you, Songbird."

His fingers crept along my face, and I felt it…the inexplicable force that always drew me to him. His finger trailed to my bottom lip where it softly traced the outline of my mouth. His burning eyes fell to my mouth, and I felt my body responding to everything…his sweet words, his closeness, his fingers that were moving so gently against my lips…

"I shouldn't kiss you," Edward whispered roughly, "but I _want_ to kiss you…so much."

"You shouldn't kiss me," I murmured quietly, but there was absolutely no conviction in my voice, and I did nothing to discourage him. He was so close to me that I could smell his sweet breath, and it was driving me absolutely insane.

"Bella," he murmured tenderly, and like a moth to a flame, I closed my eyes.


	7. A Perfect Prayer in a Desperate Hour

**AN: Thanks to snarkerella for beta'ing this monster.**

**Chapter title comes from "Stupid Boy" by Keith Urban.**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

_**A Perfect Prayer in a Desperate Hour**_

*EPOV*

I fidgeted nervously with the sleeve of my jacket as I waited for Bella to come home. A few of her neighbors had given me wary looks as they made their way to their own apartments, and I fervently hoped they wouldn't call the police.

I had no idea what I was going to say to her. _I'm sorry_ didn't seem to be a strong enough sentiment. Begging for forgiveness was an option, although I wasn't sure she would give me the chance. Emmett said that she hates my guts, and I really can't blame her, but damn it, this was my child, too. I deserved the chance to redeem myself.

_My child._

Those words still unnerved me. I hoped I became more comfortable with the term during the next nine months. I hoped she gave me the chance.

I jumped to my feet as I heard a rattling of keys and a flash of chestnut hair make their way around the corner. Bella was carrying two bags of groceries. I whispered her name, and I watched in dismay as she dropped one of the bags onto the floor.

"Sorry," I whispered as I knelt down to collect the items. The girl obviously had a serious addiction to Popsicles as I was holding a box of twenty-four banana flavored pops in my hand. Was it one of those pregnancy cravings?

"I didn't mean to scare you," I murmured as I offered to help her with her bags.

She was staring at me – mouth wide open – as if she couldn't believe I was actually here. Her expression was flat as she held out of her hand, and I sighed as I handed her back her groceries. She walked straight through her door and slammed the door in my face.

_She's going to make you work for it, Cullen._

I sighed wearily as I began knocking on her door. I had no idea how long I stood there looking like an idiot, saying her name over and over again. Surely she'd let me in eventually, right?

An hour later, I was still knocking.

Desperate, I grabbed my cell phone and called Emmett, begging for her cell number.

"She hasn't let you in?" Emmett cackled. "What are you doing? Standing outside and knocking on her door like an idiot?"

"Yes," I muttered as another neighbor passed by, gazing at me suspiciously. "That's exactly what I'm doing. Eventually, a neighbor will call the cops and they'll arrest me and put me out of my misery."

His laugh was grating on my nerves. "That girl hates you, man."

"I'm aware."

"I mean, she even let _me_ in the house."

"You were in her apartment?" I asked irritably. How unfair was this?

"Yes, Uncle Emmett brought the kid some kickass toys," he replied proudly. "Hey, maybe that's what you're doing wrong. You need gifts, man."

"Just give me her number so that I can call her," I groaned. "I'll worry about gifts later."

Thankfully, he gave me her number and I quickly typed out a message.

**I'm not leaving.**

I waited.

And waited.

Nothing.

I collapsed against the doorframe and buried my head in my hands. After a few minutes, I decided that if this was the only communication I had with her, I would use it to begin my apologies.

**I know I'm a bastard. I'm sorry.**

Nothing.

Frustrated, I tugged at the ends of my hair. This woman had to be the most frustrating female I've ever met in my life. What the hell? Did she really expect me to beg? Edward Cullen doesn't beg _anyone_ for _anything_.

Two minutes later, I was begging.

**Please talk to me.**

No reply.

Sometime later, I noticed the light dim beneath Bella's door. I glanced at my watch and noticed it was just after nine. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the door. I'd told her I wasn't leaving, and I meant it. Even if that meant that I would be spending the night outside in this drafty hallway.

She had to talk to me eventually.

I imagined her undressing and climbing into her bed, and my breath hitched as I recalled how beautiful she'd looked lying against my sheets. She truly had the most beautiful, porcelain skin I'd ever seen. It was creamy and soft and just one of the many things about the girl that absolutely drove me insane. The list was endless, and I found myself recalling them – one by one – as I drifted off to sleep.

At some point, I was jarred out of my sleep when Bella's door opened and I fell abruptly onto the floor. My eyes struggled to focus, but then they did, and I realized my head had fallen between Bella's feet – giving me a gorgeous, upside down view of her legs…and up her skirt.

_Jesus._

"Good morning, Songbird," I managed to smirk.

"What the hell are you doing here so early?"

Excited that she was actually talking to me, I jumped to my feet.

"You're actually acknowledging my existence? I'm honored. And, for your information, I never left. I told you I wasn't leaving."

She just stared at me with those big brown eyes that haunted my dreams, and I couldn't help but notice how beautiful she looked today. The cream blouse against her skin clung to her curves and her legs looked so sexy in that skirt. Her hair was pulled back, and my eyes lingered on the curve of neck, recalling how soft the skin was there. As always, I was finding myself completely intoxicated by her. Still, I knew I only had a few seconds before she told me to go to hell, so I decided to take advantage of her speechlessness.

"Please just talk to me," I whispered as I leaned closer to her. "I know I was an asshole, and I want to apologize for that. Please talk to me, Bella."

Her strawberry scent flooded my senses as I struggled to keep a tight rein on my hormones. I'd been so captivated by her from the first moment I laid eyes on her, and I couldn't deny that the feeling was new to me. Throughout my life, I'd found many women attractive, but with Bella, the attraction was…_different_. It wasn't just a sexual attraction, and that realization frightened me.

"I'm going to be late for work."

"Will you meet me for lunch? Dinner? Whatever you want, Bella."

"I can't do this, Edward," she mumbled. "You made it very clear how you feel. Why are you here?"

_Because I can't stay away from you._

"That's not how I feel, and I'm here because this is where I should be. You have to let me apologize."

Her eyes flashed with annoyance.

_Shit. What'd I say?_

"I don't _have _to let you do anything, now please get out of my way. I'm going to be late for work."

"Of course, you don't _have _to do that. I'm sorry, but would you at least let me try to apologize to you?" I groaned.

"I neither want nor need your apology. Now leave me alone." Bella announced sharply, and I watched as my sweet Songbird became feisty and determined. It was really quite sexy. We stared at each other, both of us seething and neither backing down before she finally announced that she was leaving. "If you are here when I get back, I'll call the police."

I chuckled lightly. Did she really think the police could keep me away from her? This woman was carrying my child, and I deserved to be a part of its life. "You can call the National Guard for all I care. I'm not giving up, Bella."

"You don't have a choice, Edward," she glared angrily as she straightened her shoulders and left me standing in the hallway.

Pissed and exhausted, I hauled my ass to my apartment and showered and changed before heading to the office. Lauren regarded me with a smirk as she held a pile of messages in both of her hands. Thankfully, she took pity on me and offered to weed the non-essential ones, and by the time she was done, I only had about twenty phone calls to make.

I buried myself in my office and checked my email, groaning when I saw that I had about two hundred messages to sift through. _Damn, can't a man disappear for a few days without the world going to hell? _I hastily pushed a button on my phone and begged Lauren to work her magic on my email inbox, as well. Within ten minutes, I only had about fifty emails that needed my attention.

I spent my morning replying to clients, thankful to have something to concentrate on besides Bella and our baby. I glanced up at the clock and noticed it was around noon, and I wondered what time Bella ate lunch. What does she like to eat? Was she having any weird pregnancy cravings? These were things I needed to know.

I fired off the last of my emails before grabbing my jacket and rushing out of my office.

"I'm going to lunch," I announced to Lauren who looked up in surprise. I rarely took a lunch, unless it was a business meeting.

"Very good, Mr. Cullen. Is there anything I can do for you while you're out?"

"Actually, there is," I whispered, recalling Emmett's mentioning of gifts. "Lauren, what kinds of gifts do women prefer?"

She glanced up from her computer screen. "You've never purchased a gift for a woman?"

"Does my mother count?" I wondered aloud.

"That depends," Lauren noted.

"On?"

"What kind of gift you need," she explained patiently.

I considered this for a moment.

"I need a gift that says _I'm sorry I was a heartless bastard when you told me that you were pregnant with my child, so please forgive me_….kind of gift."

Lauren's eyes grew wide but she remained stoic.

"I see. Then no, purchasing a gift for your mom doesn't count."

"So, yeah, any ideas you might have would be helpful."

Lauren regarded me warily. "May I ask a question?"

"Sure."

"Just how big of a bastard were you?"

Lauren had been my assistant for a while, and she was fully aware of my bastard tendencies.

"It was fairly epic."

Lauren nodded. "Well, I suppose you could start with flowers…"

"White roses," I murmured, remembering the white rose I laid across my pillow that morning. Would Bella understand the significance?

_She would._

Lauren's forehead creased as she took note. "Why white?"

"She'll understand," I replied without further explanation. "A dozen?"

Lauren contemplated this as she tapped her pen against her chin. "You were an epic bastard?"

I nodded.

"Better make it two," Lauren replied dryly. "I'll call the florist. What would you like on the card?"

I had no idea what to say, but I did know that I couldn't trust a florist to deliver the message. "I think I should probably write the message, don't you?"

Lauren nodded. "That would be nice, yes…more heartfelt. I could call the florist and ask them to have the bouquet ready for delivery and that you'll stop by to take care of the card?"

"Perfect," I smiled. "Thank you, Lauren. Remind me to give you a raise."

"I will," Lauren smirked. "Have a nice lunch, Mr. Cullen."

I quickly stopped by the florist and scribbled a note on the card. I had no idea what to say to her, but I knew it needed to be honest. I recalled how beautiful she looked this morning, so I decided to say so on the card. The florist assured me that they'd be delivered that afternoon.

I quickly made my way down to John Street and toward the _Times _office. Once inside, I asked the receptionist for directions to the newsroom, and she directed me to the second floor of the building. I grabbed the first person I could find and asked for Bella, and she pointed me toward a smallish cubicle in the corner of the room. Bella was standing there, looking completely shocked, and our eyes locked briefly before she dropped down behind the cubicle. With a smirk, I made my way over to her desk.

"You're far too pretty to be hiding in a cubicle," I murmured.

Her eyes were flashing with annoyance.

"Are you deaf? I told you to leave me alone," she snapped.

"I told you I wasn't giving up."

"And I told _you _that you didn't have a choice!"

"You are the most frustrating woman I've ever met," I grumbled as I ran my hand through my hair.

"Yeah, well, you can blame it on the mommy hormones. Now, leave me alone. My child is hungry."

"_Our_ child," I whispered, and I couldn't deny the surge of happiness that shot through me. This was really happening. This infuriatingly sexy woman was carrying my child. "Let me take you and our child out to lunch, Bella."

"_My_ child, and no."

Suddenly, a stocky dark-haired man was by her side, asking if everything was okay. He looked vaguely familiar. Wasn't he at the wedding? I almost asked him if we'd met before, but then he wrapped his arm around Bella's shoulder, and suddenly, I didn't give a shit about his name. I just wanted to rip his head off.

"Everything is fine," Bella smiled in his direction. "Would you please take me to lunch?"

"_I'm_ taking you to lunch," I growled as I stared at his arm on her shoulder. How dare he touch her? Didn't he know that she was mine? The man obviously had a death wish because I heard him say that he'd be happy to take her to lunch. I was furious as I watched them walk out of the newsroom.

Suddenly my phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out of my pocket, grimacing at the name on the caller ID screen. It was a gentle reminder that I needed to explain myself to one more family member.

_Dad._

* * *

We were sitting his study, and I was nursing my second whiskey as my father stared pensively out the window.

"Bella seems like a very charming young woman," Carlisle commented softly. "Your mother and brother are especially fond of her."

"I know. My entire family is in love with her."

My father turned away from the window and gazed at me. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Are you in love with her?"

I stared intently at the ice in my drink. "Is that even possible?"

Carlisle walked around his desk and collapsed onto the couch beside of me. "Oh, I think anything is possible, Edward. _You _are going to be a father. I would be willing to bet that Satan himself is wearing a parka because hell has definitely frozen over."

I chuckled softly. "True. At least Esme will get that grandchild she's always wanted."

"Yes, that will be quite a thrill," Carlisle smiled, his eyes twinkling with happiness. "It's about time something wonderful happened to this family, wouldn't you agree? We've been sad long enough."

I nodded gently as I sloshed the ice around in my glass. "So you think this is a good thing."

"I think it's a wonderful thing," my father sighed softly. "It will be even more wonderful when Bella finds it in her heart to forgive you."

"_When_?" I laughed as I finished my drink. "My father the eternal optimist."

Carlisle smiled at me. "Bella seems to be a very intelligent, compassionate woman. You need to make amends…make her feel special…make her feel protected. That's what she needs right now. I'm sure she's terrified, even more so than you."

"I don't see how that's possible," I mumbled.

"Well, consider this," Dad whispered. "You can walk away. You can make the decision to wash your hands of the entire situation and pretend it never happened. Bella doesn't have that luxury."

"I won't do that," I whispered solemnly.

"I'm very happy to hear that," Carlisle smiled. "She needs to hear that, too. Give her some time, Edward."

"I'm not a patient man," I groaned softly, and my father laughed.

"I'm well aware," Dad grinned. "Think of it as practice for the future. You are going to need loads of patience to be a father. It's really quite exhausting."

I laughed. "I imagine so. I'm sorry that I'm always testing that patience."

"Edward," my father sighed as he placed his hand on my shoulder. "You have never been a bad son. You've handled your heartache the best way you knew how, just like the rest of us. I think Bella and the baby will be wonderful for our family, but especially for you. You finally have the chance to look forward to the future instead of always focusing on the past."

"I don't want to forget," I said softly as I bowed my head.

"You never will," Carlisle assured me as he patted my back, "but don't you think it's time to be happy? Jane would want you to be happy, Edward."

"I am happy," I argued unconvincingly.

"Success doesn't always equate to happiness. You are quite accomplished and determined, and those are wonderful qualities. But there is more to life, and you have the opportunity here to embrace it. Don't let it slip away."

I was still pondering his words as I sat against Bella's apartment door later that afternoon. I glanced at my watch as my impatience grew. I was so eager to see her, and I didn't understand it at all. But then she was suddenly there, carrying a huge bouquet of roses, and I felt my chest loosen as she made her way closer to the door.

"Hi," I whispered. "Oh, you got them."

"Yes. They're beautiful."

"Like you," I said softly, because it was true.

She slowly took her keys out of her jacket and opened her door.

"Thank you for the flowers," Bella said, and just like yesterday, she closed the door in my face.

Undeterred, I settled myself against her door – my personal residence for the rest of the week.

The rest of the week followed a similar pattern. Each morning, Bella would find me waiting outside her door. I'd head to the office to work until noon when I'd make my way to the newsroom and invite Bella to lunch. After she turned me down, I'd go to the florist and order today's roses, writing something different on each day's card. I decided the cards needed to be more about the way she made me feel, instead of just how much I liked the way she looked. Because of that, my cards became sappier, and I sincerely worried that they were too cheesy and she'd never believe them. But I was always honest, and when Bella brought home each bouquet, I could see it in her chocolate doe eyes that the wall between us was crumbling with each passing day.

As the week progressed, it was impossible to ignore the fact that I had feelings for this woman. This realization came with the help of my mother, who was more than happy to point out the fact. I had always been able to tell my mom anything, and each day, she called for a progress report on my efforts with Bella. Instead of focusing on the failed attempts of each and every day, I chose to concentrate on the good things. Like the way Bella's eyes sparkled each morning when she'd open the door and find me standing there…or the way she'd take her time closing the door in my face each night…or even the soft smiles that would cross her lovely face each afternoon when she'd find me waiting at her door. I got excited about the smallest, most inconsequential things, but I lived for them. They were seemingly unimportant events, but to me, they were signs of progress and they gave me hope. During those conversations with my mother, she always pointed out the fact that I sounded completely smitten, whatever the hell that meant. At this point, I was pretty sure it was teetering close to obsession.

On the fifth day, I decided it was time to make a grand gesture. I ordered four dozen roses and wrote a verse of the song that she'd sang to me that first night. I had downloaded the song to my iPod, thinking maybe Christine McVie's voice would soothe me to sleep at night when I was propped up against Bella's door. It never worked, because it was Bella's voice I wanted to hear.

Something had to give, because I was exhausted from trying to sleep in her hallway each night and my caseloads were piling up because I couldn't concentrate on work long enough to get anything done. I couldn't eat. Couldn't sleep. Couldn't think about anything but her and how much I missed her when I wasn't around her. I had no idea how she was feeling. Was she having morning sickness? Weird cravings? Was she sleeping at night? Did she think about me at all? I lived for those brief minutes in the hallway each morning and afternoon, but I was completely losing my mind.

I was seated in my usual spot on that fifth day, waiting for her to come home, when I heard giggling coming from the end of the hallway. I couldn't help but smile when I saw Bella's face turn the corner, and I felt my body relax as it always did whenever she was close to me. Unfortunately, she wasn't alone.

I muttered a curse under my breath.

"Hello, Edward," Rosalie grinned.

My eyes widened at her politeness, and I said hello.

"Don't you have a home?"

I rose to my feet and looked her straight in the eye.

"Yes, I do. My home is wherever Bella and our child are."

Bella walked around us and opened her door. I kept my gaze on her best friend who wanted to kick my ass.

"Wow, you are either the smoothest bastard I've ever met or you're absolutely crazy about her."

_One of those is entirely accurate, Miss Hale._

"Which do you think it is?" I asked.

Something flashed in Rosalie's eyes, and she smiled. "I'm going to let Bella decide. Try not to screw it up this time."

_This time?_

Excitedly, I turned toward Bella's door. It was then that I noticed that – for the first day all week – she wasn't carrying my flowers.

"Did my delivery boy fail me today?"

"Oh no, he delivered them. I just couldn't carry four vases home. They're all in the newsroom on various desks throughout the office. One of our advertisers walked in and thought he'd entered a florist."

I laughed. "Did you at least read the card?"

"Yes," she said quietly. "I've read them all. We should probably talk about those."

"Okay."

_I would love nothing more than to talk about those cards…and our baby…and how sorry I am….and how I think about you every single second._

"So are you coming in or what?"

And with those beautiful words, the wall that had been erected between us finally crumbled.

I slowly followed her into her apartment, and she immediately sprang into hostess mode. I watched as she made herself a sandwich, and I wondered idly what kind of sandwich she preferred. Bella brought me a juice and I sipped it slowly as she made herself comfortable on the couch.

"You can relax," she said between bites of her sandwich. It looked like turkey and smelled like mustard.

"I just can't believe you let me in."

"That makes two of us. You kind of wore me down with all of the stalking and flowers and sappy cards. You can stop sending them now, by the way…although I'm sure the florist will miss you terribly. He can probably go on an extended vacation thanks to you."

I couldn't help but grin. "It was worth every penny if it means you'll talk to me."

"I'm not talking to you because of the flowers," she whispered. "I'm talking to you because a very good friend reminded me that if our situations had been reversed, I probably would have reacted the same way, except I hope I wouldn't have been as rude."

"What's your friend's name?" I grinned. "I'd like to send her some flowers of her own for helping me out."

"_His_ name is Jake Black. You met him, remember?"

"I remember," I muttered as murderous rage shot through me.

"I think he likes tulips. Oh, but you may not want to put your name on the card. His boyfriend, Seth – who you met at the auction – might get a little jealous."

_His boyfriend?_

"Wait. Jake and Seth are gay?"

"That's right."

Holy shit. "And I accused you…"

Bella nodded.

Shame filled me. "So I'm an ever bigger ass than I thought."

"Jake reminded me that you didn't know me at all, so your reaction was understandable."

"I just panicked," I admitted, "but that doesn't excuse what I said to you. I'm so sorry, Bella. I was expecting to come over here and…well, you know what I was expecting…and instead, you told me that you were pregnant, and I just went into defense mode and…"

She told me that she understood, but I could hear the heartache in her voice…the heartache I had caused by my thoughtless words and horrible reaction. I hastily climbed off the couch and fell to my knees right in front of her. Without thinking, I grabbed her hands in mine, and I felt it….that electric shock that always accompanied her touch.

"No, you have to let me do this. You have to let me say these things to you because you may never give me another chance."

I looked down at our entwined fingers and couldn't believe how perfectly her fingers fit with mine. Bella was so warm and soft, and she had no idea how crazy she made me with just the touch of her skin, but I couldn't concentrate on any of those things right now.

It was time to beg.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'm sorry that I made you cry. I'm sorry that I made you feel like you were all alone. I was so scared, and I'm _still_ scared, but I know you're scared too, and I just want the chance to make this up to you. I have never begged for anything in my life, but I will beg for this."

Bella's doe eyes were wide. "Why? Why are you doing this?"

I chose the easy answer….the safe answer.

"Because this is my baby, too, and I want to be a part of its life… even though I'm fairly positive I'll be the worst father ever…but I really want to try." I took a deep breath and brushed her hair out of her face. "I want you to trust me, but I know that I have to earn it. Please let me try."

Her beautiful face was tortured, and I knew it was because she was trying so hard to believe me.

"Tell me about the cards," Bella whispered. She leapt off the couch and returned quickly with my handwritten cards in her hand.

"You don't have to beg on your knees, you know." Bella smiled as she made her way back to me.

"Yes, I do."

Bella sighed and sat down in the floor next to me, so I turned in her direction. Our bodies were barely touching as she handed me the cards.

The first two were easy enough to explain, but it was when we came to the card from day three that I knew I had to keep my emotions in check. My fingers drifted along the card.

_**I can't stop thinking about you.**_

"I think about you all the time," I whispered as I stared into the pools of her brown eyes. "I've done nothing but think about you since Jasper's wedding. I can't even look at another woman without thinking of you, so I finally just stopped trying."

"You don't date anymore?"

"I never _date_," I chuckled, "but no, there's no one else."

"You don't seem like the kind of guy who likes to be alone," Bella whispered. "Why are you alone now?"

_Because you're the only one I want, Songbird._

"It's really hard to explain," I whispered, but to prove my point, I then showed her the next card.

_**I dream about you every night.**_

"Is that true?"

"Every night since the wedding. Well…there was one night that I didn't, but it was because I'd run ten miles just to try to get you off my mind. But yes, I dream about you every single night, and that's why I can't be with anyone else."

Bella dropped her gaze from mine, and I nearly whimpered at the loss. I had to look into her eyes. It was the only way I could really decode how she felt.

I gently lifted her chin.

"No one compares to you, Songbird."

Her face flickered with emotion as I gently stroked her cheek with my finger. To be this close to her after so many torturous days was making me bold, and I let my finger ghost along her mouth.

"I shouldn't kiss you," I whispered as I gazed at her mouth, "but I _want_ to kiss you…so much."

"You shouldn't kiss me," Bella replied, but she didn't sound convincing at all.

"Bella…." I murmured as her eyes closed.

I wrapped my hand around the nape of her neck and pulled her face closer to mine. Just as our lips were getting ready to touch, her eyes suddenly flew open in shock.

"Bella?"

Her hand quickly covered her mouth, and in an instant she was out of my arms and rushing toward the back of the apartment. I jumped up and followed her down the hallway and into the bathroom where she was kneeling over the toilet. I rushed to her side and pulled her hair away from her face.

"Go away," she whimpered as she grabbed a towel off the wall rack.

"Not a chance," I said softly as I held her body against mine. She was sick for a few more minutes before she finally stilled, wiping her mouth with the cloth.

"I thought it was over," she panted as she pulled herself out of my arms and made her way to the sink. She washed her mouth out and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"I thought morning sickness was just…in the mornings?"

"Not mine," Bella mumbled as she reached over to flush the toilet. "I'm okay. Please go back to the living room."

"Are you sure you're okay?" There was no way I was leaving her if there was the slightest chance she would get sick again.

"I think so. I just need a minute."

I nodded slowly and made my way back to the couch. Did that happen often? Had she been sick all of these nights with me right outside the door?

Bella came back into the living room a few minutes later. Her hair was now in a ponytail and she'd changed into a t-shirt and sweats. She looked completely adorable, despite the fact that her face was pale. She walked straight to the fridge and pulled a Popsicle out of the freezer.

"Do those help?" I asked as she made her way over to the couch. I wanted to pull her into my arms, but I didn't know how she'd react to that after vomiting right in front of me.

"They do," she said as she nibbled gently on the ice cream. "I'm sorry about that. I hadn't thrown up in days, and I was really hoping it was over. The baby bible says it could last up to three months."

"The baby bible?"

Bella climbed off the couch and walked over to her bag, pulling out what I could only assume was the book.

"Here," she said as she settled herself against the cushions. "It's supposed to be the most thorough book out there. I've been doing a lot of reading and research."

I smiled ruefully as I flipped through the pages, glancing at the title and making a mental note to pick up a copy.

"How are you feeling?" I asked as I handed the book back to her.

"I'm okay now," Bella smiled softly, an honest to God smile that thrilled me. She was so pretty, even after vomiting in a toilet. "Thank you for holding my hair."

"Thank you for letting me."

"You didn't really give me a choice."

I just want you to know that I'm not going anywhere," I said softly as I took her hand in mine. "Vomiting. Weird cravings. Mood swings. Best friends who want to kick my ass. Nothing is going to keep me away."

"You really want this?"

"I really do."

Bella nodded. "I have a doctor's appointment in three weeks."

"I want to be there."

"Okay."

We talked for a few more minutes before I noticed that her eyes were beginning to grow heavy.

"You look tired, Songbird."

"I am," she grinned sheepishly.

"Come on," I smiled as I stood up from the couch. I pulled her by the hand and led her down the hallway. The bedroom was easy enough to find, and I brought her over to the bed and pulled the covers back. Bella reached into her hair and pulled her ponytail down before climbing under the covers and snuggling against the pillow. I sat down on the edge of the bed and tucked the blanket around her.

"Don't sleep outside tonight," Bella whispered as she gazed up at me, "and don't send anymore flowers."

I grinned as I played with a strand of her hair. "Okay, I won't."

"It's late," Bella murmured sleepily. "You could just sleep here tonight."

"Really?"

"Why not?" Bella shrugged as she struggled to keep her eyes open. "It's not like you could get me pregnant or anything."

I laughed gently as I caressed her face. "That's true. Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

I quickly rose from the bed and walked to the other side, loosening my tie and taking off my jacket in the process. I laid them on a chair in the corner of the room before deciding to leave my shirt and slacks on. We'd made so much progress tonight, and the last thing I wanted to do was to give her the impression that there was an ulterior motive in my accepting her invitation to stay. My reasons – for the very first time in my life – were completely innocent and easy to explain.

I was exhausted and her bed looked comfortable, but most of all, I just really, really didn't want to leave her.

I slipped under the covers and resisted the urge to pull her against me. I could remember with startling clarity the way she'd felt in my arms that last night at the hotel, and I was aching to touch her. But I knew I had to be patient and not screw this up. If Bella woke up in the middle of the night with me pressed against her, she'd jump to the wrong conclusion, and I couldn't risk that.

I sighed heavily and lay on my back, closing my eyes and willing my body to ignore the beautiful woman lying next to me.

"Edward?" Bella's voice was soft in the darkness.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I interrupted our kiss."

I smiled.

"That's okay, Songbird. Maybe you'll give me another chance someday."

She giggled softly. "Maybe."

"A man can dream."

"Do you think you'll still dream of me, even though you're sleeping right next to me?"

I couldn't help but smile. "I don't know, Songbird. I'll tell you in the morning."

Suddenly, I felt her soft hand gently brush against mine. I sighed as I laced my fingers with hers, and I listened to the steady rhythm of her breathing until I fell into a peaceful sleep.


	8. Taking You Home

**AN: We meet Renee this chapter. She's….a bit different. Let me know what you think of her.**

**Chapter title comes from Don Henley.**

* * *

Chapter 8

_Taking You Home_

* * *

***BPOV***

I awoke the next morning feeling warm and comfortable as strong arms encircled me. Without opening my eyes, I nuzzled my head against his shirt and listened to his heartbeat…strong and rhythmic as it beat against his chest. That peaceful sound, combined with his soft snores and his warm embrace, lulled me between various stages of consciousness before my mind finally alerted me to the fact that Edward was in my bed, and I was lying in his arms. I could vaguely remembering asking him to stay, and I could somewhat recall each of us lying on each side of the bed as we tried to go to sleep. What I was failing to remember was how I'd ended up in his arms.

Not that I was complaining. In fact, it was very, very nice.

I pressed my nose against his chest and his arms tightened around me while he continued softly snoring. Yes, we'd had sex twice at the hotel and I was now pregnant with the man's child, but this was the very first morning that I awoke in Edward's arms.

The irony was not lost on me.

And to think – this time yesterday I was still mad at him.

What a difference a day makes.

For the past week, Edward had done and said all of the right things. The cards, the flowers, the stalking…it'd all been overwhelming and sweet. He'd even held my hair while I vomited. He seemed to really want to be a part of this baby's life.

Could I trust him?

The Edward Cullen that was holding me in his arms right this moment was an entirely different creature than the one who'd taken me against that hotel room wall. This man was warm, tender, and sweet. Which one was the real Edward Cullen? Which one would wake up with me this morning?

I _really_ hoped it was the Edward from the night before.

He had intimidated me and excited me so much when we'd first met. Those nights, I had been trapped in the most intricate web of his smoldering eyes and his fiery touch. It was just pure passion without the realities of everyday life. For me, being with Edward had been something a little dangerous and totally out of character - something fun and daring to break up the monotony of my life. For him, I was probably just another notch on his bedpost. But I had understood that, and I'd slept with him anyway. Never in a million years would I have dreamed that the weekend would lead to all of this – with my being pregnant and him holding my hair while I puked. And after the way he'd reacted to the news, I never, ever expected to be waking up next to him this morning.

Could I trust him? And, most importantly, could I trust myself not to totally fall for him in the process?

"What are you thinking about?" Edward's voice whispered softly against my hair.

I grinned as I looked up at him through my lashes. "What makes you think I'm thinking about anything?"

"Because I've been watching you for the past few minutes," Edward murmured, "and you're blushing."

I giggled as I struggled to remove myself from his grasp, but his arms tightened around me.

"Stay," he whispered, "just for a few more minutes."

I smiled as I cuddled against his chest and closed my eyes. "So how did this happen?"

"You asked me to stay."

"Not that," I replied softly as I squeezed his waist with my arm. "_This_….I don't recall being in your arms when I fell asleep last night."

"You weren't," Edward said quietly, and I felt his hands stroking my hair. "I don't really know how this happened. Do you hate it?"

"No," I whispered as I snuggled closer. "I don't hate it."

"Good. I don't hate it, either." Very gently, his nose pressed against my hair. "God, you smell good even first thing in the morning. How is that possible?"

I grinned against his chest but said nothing. We laid there in a comfortable silence, which was so strange because we shouldn't have felt comfortable at all. We were virtually two strangers who had found ourselves in this completely unexpected situation. I'd shed more tears than I was willing to admit over this man and his reaction to the baby, but here we were – wrapped around each other as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

It _felt_ natural – as easy as breathing.

That realization caused me to tremble.

"Are you cold?" Edward whispered as he pulled the blanket tighter around us. I was nestled in the cocoon of his embrace, and I'd never felt more protected and warm.

"No," I replied softly.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's _wrong_," I whispered as I lifted my face toward his. He was gazing down at me, his face etched with concern. "That's what's so strange. I was just thinking that this is far more comfortable than it really should be. I mean, we hardly know each other. Shouldn't this feel a little awkward?"

Edward chuckled softly. "I guess it should." He lifted his hand and pushed my hair away from my forehead. "Does it feel awkward to you?"

"No," I murmured gently.

"I'm glad," Edward whispered, his glowing eyes gazing into mine. "It doesn't feel awkward to me, either."

His eyes flickered to my mouth, and I gasped as his finger softly traced my bottom lip.

"Don't bite your lip," Edward whispered softly. "You'll hurt yourself."

I grinned. "It's a nervous habit. I've done it all my life."

His smiled faded. "Do I make you nervous?"

"No," I said softly, because it was the truth. He didn't make me nervous. It was my reactions to him that made me nervous.

"Good," Edward smiled softly. "How are you feeling this morning? Do you feel like breakfast?"

"Pancakes," I nodded seriously, "and bacon."

Edward laughed. "Pancakes and bacon, it is. I'll even cook for you."

"You cook?" I asked teasingly.

"Rarely, but I'll cook for you."

I smiled at him. "Don't you need to go to work?"

"It's Saturday," Edward shrugged happily. "Do you need to go to work?"

"Nope."

"Good. Do you have plans for today?"

"I thought I might call my mom," I mumbled. "I think it's probably time I told my parents."

"Do they live close by?"

"Mom lives in Jacksonville," I sighed, "but she's in Seattle for a few days. Not to see me, of course…but for something work related."

Edward's forehead creased. "What do you mean 'not to see you'?"

I shrugged. "She and I aren't very close. My parents divorced when I was twelve, so I split my time between them. Mom got remarried when I was sixteen, and she and Phil wanted to travel and do all sorts of things that I didn't want to do, so I made the decision to move back to Forks with my father. She's been bitter ever since."

"Oh," Edward replied thoughtfully. "That's unusual. Daughters usually want to stay with their moms."

"They wouldn't if they had Renee for a mother," I mumbled as I sat up in bed, pulling my knees to my chest. "My mother is bitter and opinionated. She and my father were both eighteen when she got pregnant with me. They got married because her father absolutely insisted on it, and she was miserable from the day she said her vows. Because she'd missed out on college, she had very high expectations for me…so high that it was suffocating. I had to be perfect, and I was far from it, so we clashed a lot. I was playing piano by the time I was five and speaking Italian by the time I was eight."

"Wow," Edward breathed. "That's incredible."

"I guess so," I shrugged. "As I got older, the expectations just got bigger and bigger, and I just wanted to be a kid. I used her travels as an excuse to move back to Forks, but really, I just wanted away from her. My dad – his name is Charlie – was always laid-back and cool, but not so cool that I got away with murder. With Charlie, my grades didn't have to be straight A's. He could handle the occasional B, and I had a ten o'clock curfew on school nights."

"What was your curfew with your mom?"

"I had no curfew," I shrugged, "because I wasn't allowed to go out."

"Not at all?"

"No," I replied quietly. "Mom was convinced that I'd get pregnant and end up like her."

I watched Edward's face as my words began to sink in.

"Oh, she's going to fucking _love _me," he groaned.

I smiled sadly. "I won't put you through that. I'll tell her. Trust me, she won't want to have anything to do with this baby."

He shook his head as he reached over to play with a strand of my hair. "No, we'll tell her together. I won't let you go through that alone."

There was no way I was introducing Edward to my mother, but I decided to let it go for now. What could she really say? I was a grown woman with a career. If I wanted to have a baby, I'd have a baby.

"I'm going to shower," I announced as I climbed down from the bed. "Unless you'd like to go first?"

"Nah," Edward grinned. "I'll make breakfast while you shower."

"Edward, you don't have to…"

"I want to," he whispered firmly, and I couldn't help but giggle as he flashed me his crooked grin before heading toward the kitchen.

He really was kind of cute when he was trying to be all authoritative.

* * *

"I think that's the most I've eaten in weeks," I groaned as I licked the syrup off my fork. I'd eaten four pancakes, three slices of bacon, and two glasses of juice. "That was delicious. Thank you."

"Anytime," Edward grinned as he finished the last of his juice. He placed his own fork on his empty plate and smiled at me. "So, now that you're fed and happy, I wanted to ask you a question."

"Hmm," I glared in his direction. "Coercion through pancakes, I see how you are."

"Not at all," he smirked. "You can say no, but I don't think you'll want to."

"We'll see," I muttered. "What is it?"

"How do you feel about having lunch with my parents and Emmett?" Edward asked quietly. "It'd just be really casual at the house."

I leaned back in my chair and studied him carefully. Of course, I'd met his parents, so this was really no big deal. But I hadn't met them as the mother of their grandchild. What would they say? Would they completely hate me?

"I should probably tell you that they're very excited about the baby," Edward's voice was awed. "Overjoyed is probably a more accurate description. Oh, and they absolutely love you. You have nothing to worry about."

I blinked rapidly. "Really?"

"Really," Edward smiled warmly, "and you should call your mom and see if she'll meet us since she's in town. I'd like to meet her."

"I'd rather you didn't," I muttered under my breath. "And I think I'd rather tell her when there's three thousand miles separating us."

Edward laughed. "I think we should do it face-to-face. We should make plans to go to Forks and tell your father, too."

I stared at him, unbelieving that he was willing to put himself through all of this. "You're very brave. My dad is the Chief of Police, you know. He has guns and stuff."

"It's not bravery," Edward murmured with a grin as he took my hand in his. "I just refuse to be ashamed of the fact that we have a baby on the way. We're adults. So, we should be adults and tell the grandparents. How they react to the news is up to them. I promise my parents are over the moon, so no worries there."

"Well, that's wonderful, but I can assure you that my mom won't be," I grimaced. "Charlie will be…well, I don't know what Charlie will be, to be honest. But you're right. We should tell them the news. I'll deal with whatever fallout comes our way."

"_We_ will deal with it," Edward whispered as he squeezed my hand.

"Okay," I smiled.

After we'd cleaned the kitchen and Edward had gone home to shower and change, I decided to throw caution to the wind and call my mother. She was staying at her usual downtown hotel while she met with some of the city's art dealers. Renee owned her own art gallery in Jacksonville and was always searching for rare artifacts to add to her collection. She came into town once every few months to check on me, and while she was here, she was always sure to make contact with the dealers in the area.

She answered on the second ring, and she was as cold and stoic as usual. We made idle chit-chat until I finally got the nerve to invite her to dinner.

"Sweetheart, I'm afraid I can't make dinner," Renee purred in her mechanical way that grated on my nerves. "But I'm close by now. What about a late brunch?"

"I've just eaten breakfast, and I have plans for lunch," I explained patiently.

"Well, I'm in the area now. Why don't I just pop in?"

I glanced around the apartment. It didn't look _too_ bad. "Okay, give me about an hour? There's someone I want you to meet."

"Oh," Renee's tone immediately brightened. "A man?"

"Yes, a man."

"No one too serious, I hope," Renee muttered.

I chose to ignore that. "I'll see you in an hour."

I quickly texted Edward to tell him that my mother was on her way. Suddenly very anxious, I busied myself by making the bed, starting the dishwasher, checking my email, and picking up a little around the living room. I was just fluffing the pillows on the sofa when a knock on the door made me jump.

"It can't be," I muttered under my breath. I peeked through the peep hole and sure enough, my mother was standing there, looking prim and proper as usual.

I sighed heavily as I opened the door.

"You're very early," I offered in greeting as she swept through the door.

"It's good to see you, too," Renee smiled and kissed my cheek. "I was in the area, and you know how I feel about killing time, so here I am."

"Here you are," I muttered as I closed the door behind me. She was fifty minutes early. As her eyes roamed my apartment looking for any imperfections, I quickly texted Edward to alert him that she was already here. He replied that he was less than five minutes away, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Would you like something to drink?" I offered as I made way toward the chair where she'd seated herself.

"A glass of wine would be lovely, dear."

I glanced down at my watch. "Mom, it's ten in the morning."

"I'm still on East coast time," Renee smirked.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, I'm sorry. I don't have any wine in the house. How's juice?" I didn't wait for her reply as I quickly made my way into the kitchen. I poured slowly as she rattled on and on about the fine pieces of art she'd acquired during her visit. Suddenly, she stopped mid-sentence, and I peeked above the fridge to see what had caught her attention.

_It's probably a dust bunny._

"Isabella?" My mother snapped irritably as she held my baby bible in the air. "_What_ is _this_?"

_Shit._

My hands trembled as I placed the pitcher of juice back into the fridge and closed the door. Very slowly, I made my way back into the living room and placed her glass on the end table. I had just opened my mouth to speak when I heard a knock on the door. Quickly, I rushed to the door and threw it open. Edward's eyes widened when he saw the expression on my face.

"What's wrong?" He mouthed as he walked through the door. I shook my head and pulled him by the arm and sat him down on the couch next to me. My mother was still holding the baby book in her hand and staring at Edward like he was a science experiment.

"Mom, this is Edward Cullen," I whispered softly. "Edward, this is my mom, Renee Dwyer."

I watched as Edward attempted to pour on the Cullen charm. "It's very nice to meet you, Mrs. Dwyer. I've heard a lot about you."

Mom was eyeing him up and down, and my breakfast began to rumble in my tummy. "Is that so? I've heard absolutely nothing about you."

Edward nodded slowly and leaned back against the couch. He surprised me by taking my trembling hand in his, and my mother's forehead creased as she watched our fingers lace together.

"You're pregnant," she muttered quietly as she dropped the book onto the floor. It wasn't a question, so I didn't feel compelled to confirm or deny. The lawyer, however, had other ideas.

"That's right," Edward smiled as he squeezed my hand reassuringly, as if this was just the most wonderful news in the entire world. I watched my mother's face turn various shades of red before she finally found her voice once again.

"And you're getting married?" Renee asked as she examined our clasped hands.

"Umm…no," I answered truthfully. I felt Edward stiffen next to me, but what the hell did he expect me to say? Of course we weren't getting married.

"I see," Renee glowered in Edward's direction. "And how far along are you?"

"About seven weeks," I muttered.

Renee's face brightened. "Oh! Well, this is easily taken care of."

"What do you mean?" I whispered anxiously.

"You'll have an abortion, of course."

Edward growled low in his throat as I gasped. Squeezing his hand, I took a deep breath and looked my mother in the eye.

"I am not getting an abortion," I declared emphatically. "I want this baby."

"Bella, be reasonable," my mother spat angrily. "Your career is just now taking off. They won't send pregnant journalists across the globe for news stories. And this man…" Renee glanced over at Edward, "….won't even marry you."

"I don't _want_ to get married," I replied firmly.

Renee laughed bitterly. "You're going to end up alone, you know that don't you? You'll be alone in the big city without anyone to help you raise this child."

"Mrs. Dwyer, with all due respect…"

"Excuse me," my mother interrupted him with a steely glare. "You have knocked up my daughter and have no intentions of marrying her, so I really have no interest in what you have to say."

"Stop it, Mom," I snapped angrily.

Renee laughed. "He won't _stay_ with you, Bella. Trust me when I say that having an abortion is the right choice here. Later in life, you can settle down and start a family if that's what you want. Now is not the time. Please don't let this baby ruin your life like…"

"Like I ruined yours," I whispered softly as angry tears formed in my eyes.

"Alright, that's enough!" Edward announced furiously as he glared at my mother. "I won't have you upsetting her."

"Who the hell do you think you are?" My mother's voice was cold and fierce.

"I'm the father of this baby," Edward replied calmly, "and I won't have you upsetting Bella. You're going to be a grandmother. Congratulations. The choice is yours if you want to be a part of its life."

"Bella, you're making a terrible mistake. This man and this baby will ruin your life!"

"Just get out," I whispered as I wiped the tears away from my cheeks. "Go back to Jacksonville and Phil and your gallery and forget about the daughter who ruined your life."

"Bella…." Renee pleaded.

"Bella asked you to leave," Edward said firmly as he let go of my hand and walked toward the door. I kept my eyes on the floor as my mom grabbed her bag and swiftly rose from the chair.

"You're just going to hurt her," I heard my mother grumble.

"I'm going to try very hard not to do that," Edward replied softly. "But I can guarantee that I'll _never_ hurt her as much as you have today. Goodbye, Mrs. Dwyer."

I didn't even bother to say goodbye to my mother. I flew off the couch and raced toward my bedroom, slamming the door behind me.

* * *

To Edward's credit, he left me alone. I was lying face down on my bed, trying to control my tears. I needed time to process everything and get a handle on my emotions before I faced him.

Of course, I had known that having an abortion was an alternative. So was adoption. But neither scenario had been options for me. This baby was unexpected and unplanned, but I had never considered for one second that I didn't want to keep it. Even after Edward reacted the way he did, I never once thought about giving up my baby.

My mother's words cut through me like a knife. I had expected her reaction, but I wasn't at all prepared for it. She had been cruel, and while this wasn't new for Renee, it was on an entirely new level for me because, this time, she was talking about my baby. I was well aware that my unforeseen arrival in this world had ruined her life. She'd certainly told me enough times. But I was older, and I had a career. I was scared shitless, but I was more than capable of raising this baby with or without Edward.

He'd been so protective of me throughout Renee's attack, but I knew she was right. No matter how comfortable we'd been this morning, I knew that I couldn't completely rely on his support. I barely knew him, and Edward Cullen was used to wild sex and beautiful women. Very soon, I'd be grumpy and fat and highly unattractive. There would be nothing about me that would hold his interest, and he'd be gone. He seemed adamant about being part of the baby's life, but what if he changed his mind? Or, what if he didn't change his mind, but played a very small role in our child's day-to-day life?

I was on my own. I needed to remember that.

"Bella?" He rapped gently on the door. "I've tried to give you some space, but I'm going crazy out here. Can I come in?"

"Yes," I whispered faintly, quickly wiping away my tears. I didn't bother getting up, though. I just buried my head against the pillow and tried to take big, cleansing breaths.

"Hey," Edward whispered as he climbed onto the bed. He didn't say anything else. He just pulled me into his arms, and I went happily, hoping to recreate the comfort of the morning when I'd felt so warm and secure in his arms. He stroked my hair as I clung to his shirt, and at one point, I felt him kiss the top of my head.

"Bella, I'm sorry," he murmured gently. "I'm sorry that I made you go through that. I had no idea she'd react as strongly as she did."

"I knew she would," I whispered against his chest. "But it was the right thing to do. At least she knows, and it's over."

Edward sighed softly. "Bella, look at me."

I opened my eyes and raised my head so that I could see him. I blinked away my tears, and his finger drifted along my tear-stained cheek. He was gazing down at me with so much compassion that I nearly burst into tears all over again.

"About what she said," Edward whispered soberly. "I'm not leaving you, Bella. I'm going to be right here, every step of the way. I know you probably don't believe that, especially after the way I treated you. But I promise…I _swear _to you that I'm going to be right here through it all."

"Don't promise me anything," I murmured softly as I lowered my eyes. He gently trailed his finger below my chin and lifted my face toward his once again.

"I _promise_ I won't leave," Edward whispered forcefully. "Don't you understand, Songbird? I _can't_ leave."

"You _can_ leave," I mumbled softly. "I'm not expecting anything from you, Edward. I hope that you want to be a part of this baby's life. I mean, you seem like you do, and I'm glad. We'll work out schedules and stuff, and it'll be fine."

Edward was shaking his head. "I know you're scared, Bella. I am fucking scared to death. I have never, ever felt…." His voice trailed off, his burning eyes gazing down at me as his fingers traced over my face. "….I can't even explain it."

"It's okay," I whispered nervously. "You don't have to…"

"I do," Edward murmured as his finger drifted along my mouth. "I do have to explain it, because I can see that you believe what your mother said. You don't believe me when I say that I won't leave."

"Please don't," I whispered sadly. I would literally lose my sanity if he held me in his arms and made any promises to me. "Please don't….please don't promise me anything."

Edward's face was tortured as he contemplated my words. "But I want to, Bella."

"Don't," I begged softly as the tears began to stream down my face once again. "Let's just….let's just get through one day at a time, okay? I can't handle more than that right now. My emotions are all over the place, I'm totally clueless and scared to death, and I just want to get through the morning sickness and the crying and try to figure out how to be a good mom. I have absolutely no frame of reference because….well, you saw the complete nutcase Renee is, and I really don't want to be like her…."

"Shh," Edward whispered as he pulled me closer to his chest. "You need to relax. All of this crying can't be good for you or the baby."

I nuzzled his chest as his arms enveloped me, and my body finally began to relax as he stroked my hair and whispered over and over that we were going to be okay. I closed my eyes and let the steady beat of his heart ground me and calm me.

"Are you always going to be this protective?" I whispered softly.

Edward laughed softly. "Yes, I am."

I tilted my face toward his and smiled teasingly. "That might be a problem. I'm used to being alone."

"I know," Edward whispered softly as he gazed down at me. His eyes flickered over my face. "But you aren't alone anymore, Bella. I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere."

I could see in his eyes that he truly believed those words. So I took comfort in the fact that – at least for today – he was telling me the truth.

"You still don't believe me, do you?" His fingers drifted along my cheek before his hand cupped my face, and I closed my eyes as I leaned into his touch. "I'm going to spend each and every day trying to convince you."

"_More_ convincing?" I grinned sheepishly as I looked into his fiery eyes. "Aren't you tired of having to work so hard?"

"It's worth every second," Edward whispered sincerely. He leaned down and tenderly kissed my forehead. "Feel better?"

"Yes," I smiled softly. "Thank you, Edward." He leaned down and kissed my forehead again, and I caught myself vehemently wishing he'd move his lips lower.

"I'm glad to hear that," Edward smiled, "because it's time to introduce you to the best parents in the whole world."

I rolled my eyes as I struggled out of his arms and climbed off the bed. "I've met them, remember?"

He chuckled as he stood quickly, pulling me by the hand toward the living room. "Yes, but this time, you're meeting them as the mother of their first grandchild. Trust me when I say that they're a little excited."

Were they really happy about this? Surely they had their doubts about me, didn't they?

"How excited?" I mumbled nervously as we made our way to the living room door.

Edward stopped and slowly turned his scorching green eyes toward me. He lifted my hand and brought it to his lips, placing a soft kiss along my knuckles.

"Almost as excited as I am to take you home," he whispered tenderly.

* * *

**AN: Have you checked out the "Songbird" thread over at Twilighted? I love reading everyone's thoughts and theories! Please stop by and say hi.**

**As always, I love to hear from you. :)**


	9. If I Love You More Than I Should

**AN: Everyone is so curious about Jane. We learn a little about her in this chapter.**

**Chapter title comes from "Please Forgive Me" by Bryan Adams.**

* * *

Chapter 9

_If I Love You a Little More Than I Should_

* * *

*EPOV*

_Her blonde pigtails whip in the wind as I push her in the swing on the crowded playground. She always gets mad when I push a little too hard, but sometimes, an eight year old boy just doesn't know his own strength._

"_Edward, it's too high!" She protests loudly, and I bring my hands up to grasp the chain-linked swing to slow it down. _

"_Better?" I ask gently. I never want to scare her. It's my job to keep her safe._

"_Better," Jane smiles softly, and with that smile, I can breathe once again._

* * *

Her picture reflected through the glass, and with her image, I'd been bombarded with memories. This picture, specifically, always calls to me when I visit my parents. Of course, she was smiling in this picture. She was _always_ smiling, even when she was pale and lifeless, but what I really loved about the picture was that she'd absolutely insisted on me being in the shot, as well.

It was the very last picture we'd take together.

There were thousands of others, of course. Years of memories were protected in frames, in albums, and in school yearbooks. Those pictures would withstand time.

My memories, however, were beginning to fade.

I remembered the important milestones, of course. Birthdays…holidays…family vacations. But it was the little moments that were beginning to slip away from me - the silly, inconsequential snapshots of our life together that would seem unimportant to anyone but us. Like how she always loved to lie in the grass and find shapes in the clouds. Or, how she worshipped Hootie and the Blowfish and wouldn't let me sleep until I learned to play "Let Her Cry" on the piano.

I still couldn't stand to listen to that song, and I'd destroyed the CD long ago.

I heard Bella's sweet laugh coming from the kitchen, the sound effectively snapping me out of my reverie. My parents had pulled her away from me as soon as we'd walked into the foyer, but I didn't mind too much. We'd had a hell of a morning, and I was happy that she was happy.

The tranquility of our morning had been shattered by her mother's bitter reaction to our news, and I found myself hating the woman. My own reaction had been horrible, but I knew that it was her mother's response that had affected Bella the most. I felt sick for forcing her to tell her mom the truth, but Bella had assured me over and over that we'd done the right thing. I just couldn't see how it was right when it had obviously hurt her so deeply, but Bella had simply shrugged it off, saying Renee had never been known for her tact. Regardless, I despised the woman. I knew it was hypocritical considering my initial reaction, but at least I was trying to make it right, and thankfully, Bella was letting me try.

I hesitantly sat down at the family piano, but I didn't bother lifting the cover off the keys. It wasn't as if I was going to play, I hadn't played in thirteen years. My eyes roamed the picture frames along the top of the piano, and I was once again reminded of happier days.

Today had started as a happy one, and the morning had been the best one of my life. I had no idea when or how we'd wrapped ourselves around each other during the night, but I fucking loved waking up with her in my arms. For the past decade, I'd made it a habit to never wake up next to a woman. Mornings were always tricky, and sometimes, the sex kittens from the night before would turn into clingy, emotional strangers the next morning. But with Bella, it felt natural and just…_right_. I couldn't explain it, and I really didn't want to try. I was going to follow her advice and just take one day a time.

"Bella's lovely," I heard my father say from the doorway. I looked away from the pictures and smiled at him.

"She is."

Carlisle nodded as he made his way over to the piano and sat down on the bench next to me. "Strong, too."

I nodded. Bella _was _strong, but I had witnessed the woman who'd been broken by her mother this morning, and I knew that even her strength had its limits.

"Does Bella know?" Carlisle nodded toward the picture frames.

"No," I whispered softly.

"It's probably time to tell her," my father murmured gently.

"Tell me what?"

Our heads turned toward the doorway, and I couldn't help but grin. Bella was wearing my mother's favorite apron, and it was covered with flour.

"I see my mother has you baking," I grinned.

Bella glanced down and laughed as she untied the apron. "I was told that _someone_ likes peanut butter cookies, so we've been experimenting."

I did love them. My mom's peanut butter cookies could bring peace to the Middle East.

"Well, they smell delicious," my father grinned as he rose from the bench. "I think I'll go steal a few."

He offered to return the apron to the kitchen for her, and I watched as my father softly kissed Bella's cheek and whispered something in her ear. I couldn't hear a thing, but whatever he said made her blush.

"Your parents are wonderful," Bella murmured as she made her way toward the piano. She sat down on the bench next to me and ran her fingers along the sleek wood. "Do you play?"

"I used to," I whispered. "You play much better than I do."

"I doubt that," she smiled softly. "Play something for me. It's only fair."

"Fair?"

"I've played for you," Bella reminded me quietly, and then her cheeks flushed with color. I chuckled lightly as I tried to ignore my body's natural reaction to that memory.

"That's how I know that you're better," I murmured. "I have to watch my hands when I play. I don't think you looked at your hands at all."

"I couldn't," she whispered softly, and I was unable to contain my grin as her blush grew deeper. We'd been too fascinated with each other that night for us to pay attention to anything else.

"Your mom is great," Bella smiled gently as she raised the cover away from the keyboard. I watched as her fingers drifted along the ivory keys. "My mom never taught me how to bake anything. I remember she had this hideous blue apron that she always wore when she cooked."

Soft piano music filled the air as Bella pressed the keys. It was a soft, haunting melody that I didn't recognize.

"When I was six years old," Bella whispered over the music, "my teacher asked us to draw a picture of ourselves showing what we wanted to be when we grew up. I drew a picture of me, standing in a kitchen making cookies. My apron was blue, just like my mom's."

She continued playing as I brushed her hair away from her shoulder, watching as the tendrils slipped through my fingers and down along her back. She was so pretty, and I prayed that our child would look just like her, with big brown eyes and chestnut hair.

"I was really proud of that picture," Bella whispered. "At the bottom, I'd written _Bella wants to be just like her mom_." She didn't stop playing as her eyes found mine, and she smiled sadly at me. "I was just six. I didn't realize my mother was different from other mothers. I thought the sun rose and set on her."

I stroked her cheek, and she tilted her head against my palm.

"I brought the picture home to show my mom," she whispered sadly. "Renee took one look at it and ripped it to shreds right in front of me."

It was official. I hated Renee Dwyer.

Bella dropped her head and closed her eyes as she continued playing the somber song. Sadness was etched across her porcelain features, and it killed me. I needed to say something, anything to erase the sorrow from her face. I leaned closer and wrapped my hand around the nape of her neck.

"You're not her," I whispered softly against her ear. "You're going to be such a good mom, Bella."

She sighed softly as she tilted her face toward mine. Our eyes met – her somber brown to my green – and I was unable to stop myself before I placed a soft kiss against her cheek. Our bodies were so close, and her breath hitched as my lips caressed her skin. I could still recall with startling clarity how her lips had felt against mine, and I wanted desperately to feel them again. Honestly, I wanted to do more than just kiss her. I could remember her taste…her sounds…the way she'd wrapped her legs around me…the way she'd screamed my name that second night as I'd brought her to the edge. If she was any other woman, I would have fucked her last night instead of just lying in bed and holding her hand. If she was any other woman, I'd lay her across the top of this piano.

But we were at my parent's house, and this wasn't just any woman.

I sighed heavily and pulled myself away from her, rising from the bench and walking over to the fireplace to stare at the pictures on the mantle as Bella continued playing her song on the piano.

Since Jane's death, I'd built a wall to protect myself from any kind of connection that would put me at risk of feeling that kind of despair ever again. The day they lowered Jane into the ground was the day I vowed that I would never again be so permanently bound to another human being.

Stupidly, I'd tried once. I'd played the role of the tender, sweet, and loving boyfriend to a woman who saw right through me. She knew my heart wasn't in it, and it was because I feared forging any kind of bond with another living soul.

Of course, I knew the connection could never be _exactly_ the same. Jane and I had been true soul mates, perfectly in tune with our sixth sense and our uncanny ability to finish each other's thoughts. Our bond had been unbreakable, until life proved that there was no such thing. I had died that day, too, and I had never wanted to come back to life.

As I gazed into Bella's chocolate eyes, I found that I wanted to live again.

It terrified me beyond all reason, but I wanted her. I wanted her because she was beautiful and forgiving. I wanted her because she was carrying my child. I wanted her because – for the first time in thirteen years – I was happy.

_Jane would want me to be happy._

I gazed up at a picture of us when we were ten years old. The emerald frame perfectly matched our Halloween costumes and the color of our eyes. That was the year she'd talked me into being Peter Pan to her Tinker Bell. I smiled at the memory. She really could talk me into anything.

"That's a cute picture of you," Bella whispered as she nodded toward the picture frame. I had been so lost in my memories that I hadn't noticed that she'd stopped playing.

"How did you know it was me?" I asked gently as I traced the glass on the frame.

"I could tell by your eyes," Bella smiled at me before gazing back at the picture. "She has your eyes, too."

I nodded gently as my mother yelled from the kitchen, announcing that lunch was ready. Bella was gazing at the pictures of Jane along the mantle, but she didn't ask any questions as I offered her my hand and led her toward the kitchen.

"Mama Bella!" Emmett yelled from the head of the table, and swiftly, he was on the floor and lifting her in the air. Everyone laughed loudly, except for me.

"Hurt her and I'll kick your ass," I warned him as I made my way to my place at the table. Mom had kept it simple with just soup and sandwiches…and of course, my peanut butter cookies. As customary, I ate two of those before touching my actual lunch.

"Wow, you really do like cookies," Bella commented with a grin as she grabbed a sandwich off the tray.

"Mom, these have mustard!" I groaned. "I told you she can't eat mustard."

"Oh, Bella, I'm sorry," Esme offered her a smile. "He _did_ tell me, and I completely forgot. Let me make you something else."

"No!" Bella squealed as she glared at me. "It's fine, Edward."

"It is _not_ fine," I complained as I leapt from my seat and headed to the fridge. "I don't want you to be sick. Mayo?"

"I won't be sick," she whispered softly. "This is fine."

I ignored her and made her a new sandwich with turkey and mayo. I ignored Bella's menacing glare and Emmett's hearty laughter as I made my way back to the table with her new sandwich.

"Wow, brother. I've never seen you so…domestic."

"She can't eat mustard," I muttered unapologetically.

Bella sighed heavily as she totally ignored the sandwich and focused on her soup. Esme and Carlisle were looking at me as if I'd sprouted wings, and Emmett was still cackling as he bit into his sandwich.

The rest of the meal went fine. Everyone was eager to talk about the baby, and I was surprised to learn that Emmett had already bought it some clothes and gifts.

"They're all blue, though," Bella grinned. "Emmett is convinced the baby is a boy."

"The baby is a boy," Emmett declared emphatically.

"It could be a girl," Carlisle smiled softly. "You never know."

"Holy hell!" Emmett screeched excitedly, making Bella jump. "I just thought of something. What if it's both?"

"Both?" Everyone at the table shouted in unison.

"Not _both_," Emmett glared at us. "You know what I mean. What if she has twins?"

Bella dropped her spoon against the bowl and glanced nervously around the table before her eyes settled on me.

"Is that possible?"

"Are there twins on your side of the family?" Carlisle asked softly.

"Not that I know of," Bella mumbled, her forehead creased with confusion. "I guess I should ask."

As my family continued discussing the odds of multiple births, I leaned close to Bella's ear. "You aren't eating. What's wrong?"

Bella's eyes widened as she looked down at her bowl. "I'm eating."

"Five spoonfuls of soup isn't eating," I commented dryly.

Her head whipped toward mine. "You're _counting_?"

"Yes," I shrugged.

"What is it with you and food?" She whispered angrily. "First, you yell at your mother for putting mustard on my bread, and now you're counting my spoonfuls of soup?"

"I'm just taking care of you," I murmured.

"Well, stop it."

I sighed deeply as I grabbed another cookie. Bella didn't speak to me or look my way throughout the rest of lunch, but I still counted the spoonfuls – sixteen in all. She completely ignored the sandwich I made for her.

After everyone had finished, Emmett and my father pulled Bella into the living room while I helped my mom clean up the kitchen.

"I'm sorry about the mustard," Mom smiled softly at me as she handed me a plate to put in the dishwasher.

I sighed. "I'm sorry I yelled."

"It's okay," Esme smiled. "You're very protective of her."

"She's mad," I muttered as I placed the glasses on the top rack. I was already calculating how many vases of roses it was going to take to get back into her good graces.

Esme laughed softly. "Edward, she's been on her own for a long time. It's going to take some getting used to."

"She's so stubborn!" I groaned as I pointed toward the turkey and mayo sandwich. "Look at this. She didn't even touch it."

My mom chuckled as she closed the dishwasher. "Yes, you're both strong-willed. Your child has absolutely no chance whatsoever."

I smiled before pulling my mother into a hug. "You're excited about this baby, aren't you?"

"Thrilled," Mom grinned up at me.

"Thank you for being so cool about this. I know it's not the best of situations, but I thank all of you for accepting her and this baby so easily. Her mother was…less than accepting."

My mother's face darkened. "Yes, she told me about that while we were baking cookies. What a wretched woman."

"She is," I agreed quietly.

"Something else is bothering you. What's wrong?"

I took a deep breath. "I'm just scared, Mom."

Mom patted my hand and led me over to the table. "What are you scared about?"

"Everything," I muttered as we sat down.

"Well, let's start with the obvious fear," Mom smiled warmly. "A new baby is sure to cause some anxiety."

"A bit," I replied sarcastically, and she laughed. "I'm going to be a father. Do you know how unbelievable that sounds to my own ears?"

"I think I have some idea," my mother grinned. "It's not the ideal situation, for sure, but it is what it is. I have to say if you were going to get anyone pregnant, I'm glad it was Bella. She's really wonderful, Edward, and I think she's good for you. I haven't seen you this protective since you were a child."

"I know," I whispered solemnly. "That's something else I'm nervous about. I've never really talked about Jane…outside of the family, that is."

Esme smiled sympathetically. "I know you haven't, but it's time, and honestly, Bella is part of our family now."

I nodded slowly. "What I feel for her frightens me."

"What do you feel?" My mother asked quietly.

"I don't know," I muttered. "I feel lots of things. I feel protective. I feel jealous. I feel happiness. I feel confused. I feel…_connected_. It all scares the hell out of me."

"You feel love," My mother whispered softly as she patted my hand. "You love her, Edward."

I bowed my head. "It's too soon for me to feel that…_isn't it_?"

My mother lifted my chin with her finger. "You know how your father always tells that story about how we met? It was the first day of our freshman year of college, and we were in the same Sociology class."

"Yes," I replied hesitantly, "and he saw you across the room, your eyes locked, and he knew that you were going to be his girl."

My father had been telling that story for years, and I'd always believed it to be bullshit. Love at first sight didn't exist in the real world.

"I knew, too," Esme replied thoughtfully, "and look at us. Still together after all these years. So, is it too soon for you to be in love with her?" Mom shrugged her shoulders as she tried to tame my unruly head of hair. "I think the heart wants what the heart wants and it totally ignores logic. What does your heart want, Edward?"

_Her. My heart wants her._

I smiled softly at my mother, and she smiled in return. Just then, hearty laughter could be heard coming from the living room. Bella's lovely giggle was surrounded by the loud cackling of my brother and father.

"God only knows what _that's_ about," Mom grinned.

I sighed softly. "You know, I could really fuck this up."

"You could," Esme laughed, "especially if you don't calm down about her eating habits. I don't know about her dad, but Bella's mother has always been too overbearing. Bella is naturally going to resist any kind of attention that suggests that she's being controlled."

"I'm not trying to control her," I argued quietly. "She threw up the last time she ate mustard, and sixteen slurps of soup isn't enough for anyone, especially for someone who is pregnant!"

Esme bit her lip to keep from laughing. "You counted?"

I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. "Yes, I counted. Sue me."

"Not a chance," Esme giggled as she rose from the table. "You'd represent yourself and I'd lose."

I laughed and pulled her into a hug just as Carlisle, Emmett, and Bella made their way back into the kitchen. I watched as my parents hugged and kissed Bella, welcoming her into the family. She blushed, of course, and then she squealed when Emmett pulled her into another hug that lifted her off the floor. I growled softly, and Bella's eyes shot toward me, daring me to make a comment.

_Yep, I'm going to need lots of roses._

* * *

*BPOV*

The afternoon had been quiet, but it wasn't a peaceful calm. It was a silence filled with loads of tension because my baby's father was apparently a controlling, protective Neanderthal and I wanted nothing to do with him. Luckily for him he seemed to sense my aggravation, because he'd stopped apologizing for his barbaric behavior about two hours ago and was currently pouting on the couch pretending to watch the news. I was pouting at the kitchen table and pretending to work on my laptop. Every few minutes, I'd catch him looking at me, and we'd both divert our eyes and pretend we didn't notice.

Not only had he been inexcusably rude to his awesome mother, but the man had the _nerve _to count my servings of soup. Who did he think he was? I had survived on my own for quite a while now, and I certainly didn't need him managing my portion sizes. I had helped to make those sandwiches, and I'd purposely left mustard off one of them just for me. And he'd actually growled when Emmett lifted me off the ground. _Growled!_

_He's just being protective_, my mommy subconscious whispered to me. She was doing that a lot lately, but I ignored her this time because she was getting on my nerves. I didn't need his protection. I was quite capable of taking care of myself. Who did he think was?

_Your baby's daddy,_ she whispered again, and I sighed loudly as I tapped my fingers against my laptop keys. Bitch was really getting on my last nerve.

I sat up straighter when I heard him come into the kitchen, but I ignored him as he headed to my fridge as if he owned the place. I opened a window on my browser and pretended to do research for my upcoming interview with one of the mayoral candidates. The website of Seattle real estate developer James Miller was full of pictures and biographical information. He looked like he was an arrogant ass, and I was tired of dealing with arrogant asses.

Suddenly, my arrogant ass was waving a banana Popsicle in my face. The sly, overprotective bastard had even taken the wrapper off for me.

"Truce?" Edward whispered hopefully.

I glared at the yellow Popsicle. This was coercion…pure manipulation. I was holding strong until he used the one word that was always made me melt.

"I'm sorry, Songbird."

_Damn him._

Sighing, I took the Popsicle out of his hand and took great satisfaction in watching his eyes glaze as I took a very long lick of it before placing it in my mouth.

"Jesus, Bella…" He groaned as he sat down in the seat next to me.

"Frustrated?" I asked innocently.

"You have no idea," Edward murmured darkly as he continued staring at me, his green eyes blazing. I continued my research and enjoyed eating my Popsicle. Honestly, I wasn't even being pornographic with it now, but that didn't seem to matter because within a minute he swiftly rose from his seat and muttered, "Yeah, I can't watch you eat that."

I stifled my giggle as he stomped his way back to the living room. The man frustrates the hell out of me so it was good for him to suffer a little. I found myself wondering how long it'd been for him. Chances were good that he'd had sex at least a few times since our encounter at the wedding. I, on the other hand, had not. The baby bible said that my sex drive would begin to increase, and I really dreaded that day. It was going to be hard to keep my hands to myself if he insisted on spending every waking moment with me.

Twenty minutes later, I decided to have pity on the man. I grabbed my laptop and headed to the living room. He was sitting on the chair, so I collapsed against the couch. I placed the laptop on my thighs and continued compiling my questions for the interview while he watched some CNN anchor gripe about Obama's foreign policy.

"Did you ever want to do broadcast news?" Edward asked quietly, his eyes glued to the screen.

"Nope," I answered. "To be on television you have to be eye candy and good at public speaking. I am neither."

His head turned toward me. "You don't think you're pretty enough to be on air?"

"I _know_ I'm not pretty enough," I replied as I minimized the window and checked my email.

"You're wrong," Edward murmured low, but I ignored it and opened the first of my ten messages – the first being from Alice.

_Why would a bartender from the Fairmont Olympic have my phone number?_

Oops. It'd certainly taken him long enough to call. I quickly typed out my apology and clicked send. Of course she'd forgive me. I glanced over my computer at Edward, who was staring at the television and pretending to care about what was on screen.

Of course I'd forgive him, too.

Sighing, I closed my laptop and placed it on the end table. I stared at him for a few minutes before I climbed off the couch and walked over to his chair. His eyes found mine, and they darkened as I climbed into his lap and straddled him. His hands gripped my hips as I ran my fingers through his hair.

"If our baby is a boy, I hope he has your hair."

Edward grinned as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer to his chest. "That's funny. Today, when we were sitting at the piano, I was hoping our baby would have your hair and your brown eyes."

"Your eyes are prettier," I replied softly.

"Yours are," Edward whispered as he stared up at me. His hands were stroking my back, and I couldn't deny how good it felt to be held. He'd held me this morning, of course, but this position was far more intimate and much more enjoyable.

"Compromise?" I murmured as I pressed myself closer to him. "Your eyes and my hair."

"Agreed." Edward's eyes flickered down to my mouth as I pressed my forehead against his. "See, we _can_ get along."

"So it would seem."

He shifted, pulling me tighter against him, and I gasped as I felt his erection press against me. Right _there_. He grabbed me by the hips and pulled me even closer, and my body arched against his as he moaned. My hands fell to his shoulders as one of his hands made its way to the nape of my neck, drawing my face to his. His breath was sweet as it washed across my face, and I panted as his other hand made its way beneath my shirt. He gently stroked the skin along the small of my back, and I moaned softly.

"Fuck, I've missed that moan," Edward murmured against my cheek, and I shuddered as his hand cupped my ass.

"We're supposed to be apologizing," I whimpered as he gently brushed his lips against the side of my neck before staring at me once again with his scorching eyes. His hand cupped the back of my head as he trailed his nose across mine.

"I'm sorry for being an overprotective asshole." His lips were just inches from mine. I was absolutely _aching_ for him to kiss me.

"I'm sorry for being an oversensitive bitch," I replied softly.

"Apology accepted," Edward whispered roughly.

"Apology accepted."

With a groan, he hungrily crushed his lips to mine. I whimpered as he pulled me flush with his body, and our arms wrapped around each other as we kissed fervently. Our hips were joined, and even through the denim of our jeans I could feel his hardness. I shifted my pelvis against his, and he growled as he continued his assault on my mouth. Our tongues joined, and only then did we slow down, taking our time to savor and remember. His kisses still drove me wild, and his touch still sent jolts of electricity through my veins.

He broke our kiss and pressed his forehead against mine. We both tried to catch our breath as we stared into each other's eyes. His gaze was reverent, and I nearly whimpered at the emotion I saw within his shining, green eyes. I slowly stroked his face, and his eyes closed as he pressed his cheek against the palm of my hand.

"Bella…" Edward whispered hoarsely as his hands tightened around me. His eyes were beseeching me, begging me…his unspoken plea hanging in there. He didn't have to ask. He didn't have to beg.

"Yes," I murmured softly. He groaned as he tightened his arms around me and pushed himself off the chair. I wrapped my legs around his waist and his mouth found mine again as he carried me toward the bedroom.

* * *

**Have you visited the thread over at Twilighted? The link is in my profile.**

**You make me smile with your reviews. Thank you!**


	10. Gravity Pulls on You and Me

**AN: You may need a tissue for Edward's POV. I cried while writing it.**

**Thanks to all of you for reading and reviewing, and as always, much love to snarkerella for making it pretty.**

**Chapter song comes from Coldplay.**

Chapter 10

_Gravity Pulls On You and Me_

***BPOV***

Edward's fingers trailed softly over my face as he hovered above me, his expression unreadable as he gazed down at me with his piercing jade eyes. I noticed that they were darker than usual, but still so beautiful. The emotion shining from them left me speechless.

I couldn't remember him undressing me. I couldn't remember undressing _him_. I could vaguely recall being carefully carried to my bed. I'd been so consumed by his kisses and the way he was pressing against me that it was impossible to focus on anything else. Yet here we were – naked and breathless and waiting for the other to finish what we'd both started. I had no idea if my pregnancy hormones were kicking in, but I was growing impatient.

"I want you," I whispered boldly, and I pulled his mouth to mine, kissing him hungrily. Running my hands along his shoulders, I could feel the tension there as he struggled to control his motions. I arched against him once again, and he groaned, but he remained still.

_Why is he holding back?_

I slid my hands along the planes of his chest, and he shuddered as his mouth captured mine once again. If it weren't for his frantic kisses, I'd wonder if he wanted me at all.

"What's wrong?" I whispered.

"I can't do this," Edward murmured softly. "I just can't do it, Bella."

He groaned as he collapsed against the mattress, shielding his eyes with his arm. Stunned, I stared up at the ceiling as I tried to make sense of it all. He obviously wanted me, didn't he? He was kissing me as if his life depended on it. What had I done wrong?

Insecurity flooded me as I pulled the blanket around my naked body and turned onto my side, facing away from him. His body indicated that he'd wanted me, but obviously, his mind had other ideas. He didn't want me. Not at all. It had been okay the first night we met – when he didn't have to worry about attachments or consequences – but now that we were growing closer and I was pregnant with his child, he couldn't bring himself to do it.

It was completely humiliating.

A tear trickled from my eye, and I angrily swiped it away. I would not cry in front of this man.

"Bella," Edward whispered as he rolled closer to me. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me against his chest. "Please don't cry. I'm sorry."

"I'm not crying," I mumbled, but my sniffle totally gave me away.

"Baby, I want you so much," he murmured softly against my ear. I felt his arm drift across mine until he found my hand, and he laced his fingers with mine as he nuzzled my hair. "God, you're _all_ I want..."

I didn't trust myself to point out that he was obviously mistaken, so I just kept quiet.

"Everything about you turns me on," Edward whispered roughly as he pulled the blanket down and kissed my bare shoulder. "Your giggle…your touch…your smell…your voice. You drive me wild, Bella. My every thought…my every dream…encompasses you."

I closed my eyes as his teeth gently nipped at the skin along my shoulder. "Then why did you stop?"

Edward sighed as he stroked my hair, pinning it behind my ear so that he could kiss the side of my neck. "Because I don't know how to be tender. What if I'd hurt you? Or hurt the baby?" He squeezed our entwined fingers as his nose grazed my ear.

"You're being tender now."

He chuckled softly. "I'm trying to be. This is all new to me, Bella. I don't know what I'm doing, but if I was to ever hurt you or the baby because I wasn't being careful enough…"

Swiftly, I turned around in his arms and gazed up at him. His expression was so etched with fear that it instantly thawed my heart.

"Edward, our baby is like the size of a grape right now and it's protected by amniotic fluid. You can't hurt it."

He wasn't about to be deterred. "What if I was too rough with you? The first time we met..."

The tortured expression on his face broke my heart. How dare he feel guilty about that night! That night had been the most incredible sexual experience of my life. That night had led us _here._

"You were never too rough with me," I promised him. "You were just…passionate. I _loved_ it, Edward." I trailed my fingers along his strong jaw, and his eyes closed as he leaned into my touch. "I've never felt that way before, and I want to feel it again."

Edward's smoldering eyes locked with mine as he cupped my face. "I want to feel it, too. Your moans haunt my dreams, I swear, but I can't just _fuck_ you, Bella. Not now. It wouldn't be just fucking for me…"

"What would it be?" I whispered gently, tracing the outline of his lips with my finger. I was being so unfair, asking him to declare his hand before I even _hinted_ at mine, but I needed to know.

Edward sighed softly as he let go of my hand and trailed his fingers along my face. He gently brushed my eyebrow before ghosting his finger down the bridge of my nose and down along my mouth.

"I'd be…making love to you," he admitted softly. "I've never done that before."

"You tried," I murmured shamefully as I dropped my head. "The second night we were together. The tender kisses…the way you were looking at me…"

Edward nodded as he tilted my face toward his. "You told me not to be sweet."

"I know…"

"Why?"

"Because I felt…"

Unable to find the words, I closed my eyes and buried my face against his neck. He sighed heavily and held me close as he ran his fingers through my hair. It was so soothing – his bare skin pressing to my flesh and his arms encircling me.

"I felt it, too," Edward whispered against my ear.

"I was too afraid to feel it," I murmured against his neck, "because I didn't think I'd ever see you again."

His arms tightened around me.

"I never _expected_ to see you again," Edward admitted quietly as he smiled at me. "I think fate had other ideas, Songbird."

I had never believed in things like fate and destiny, but I couldn't deny the chaotic series of events that had brought us here.

"Do you believe in fate?"

"I didn't used to," he murmured as he pressed a kiss to my forehead, "I think I do now."

He kissed me then, a sweet, toe-curling kiss that sent me scrambling into his lap. He gathered us in the blanket and held me close, his mouth nipping and tasting my lips.

"Please ,Edward," I begged against his mouth. "Please make love to me."

He groaned as he kissed me once again, but I could tell he was still holding back. Sighing, I broke our kiss and laid my head against his shoulder.

"Did you ask the doctor about sex?" Edward whispered breathlessly.

"No," I confessed begrudgingly. "It wasn't really a priority at the time."

Edward laughed and hugged me close. "Thank God for that. I'd hate to have to kill some bastard for putting his hands on you."

I couldn't help but grin, but his caveman tendencies were going to take some getting used to.

"Bella, I'd just like to wait until we talk to the doctor. I couldn't bear it if I hurt you or the baby."

Defeated, I sighed resignedly. "You know that's almost three weeks away."

"I know," Edward frowned slightly, "but there are _other_ things we could do." He pulled me closer and buried his face against my neck. I moaned as he began licking and sucking the skin there.

"God, that feels good," I groaned as I pressed myself closer against his chest. It was so tempting, but I didn't want to just feel good. I wanted to feel him…all of him.

"No," I whispered firmly as I pulled away from his lap and settled back against the mattress. "We can wait."

Edward sighed loudly as he ran his fingers through his hair. "We can?"

"Hey, this was your idea," I reminded him. "I am confident that it's totally safe for us to have sex. But, if it's that important to you that we wait until we get the okay from the doctor, then I think we should wait for _everything_."

His face fell. "Everything? I was thinking we could…"

"Everything," I smirked. I could hear that his breathing wasn't entirely regular, but if this was how he wanted to play it…

Edward searched my face for any sign of concession. He apparently found none because he nodded.

"In that case, you really need to get dressed. I can't be expected to keep my hands off you while you're wrapped up naked in that blanket."

"Too tempting for you?" I grinned.

"Baby, you have no idea."

"Hmm…"

Very deliberately, I slowly slipped the blanket off my body, and I heard his quiet growl as I took my time searching for pajamas in my drawer. I chose a pale blue tank top and a matching pair of boy shorts, and I slowly slipped them on. They weren't really that revealing, but they were skimpy. It wasn't unusual for me to wear this around the house, but then again, I was used to living alone.

Which reminded me…

I turned slowly to face him, and I was satisfied to see his eyes roaming hungrily over my body.

"Edward?"

His eyes continued its exploration, and I bit my lip to keep from laughing.

"I think you should go home tonight."

This got his attention.

"Why?"

"I wouldn't want you to be too tempted."

He playfully growled, and I couldn't help but giggle as I sprinted from the bedroom.

* * *

Edward did go home that night. He actually went home every night for the rest of the week, much to my dismay. Operation Seduce Baby Daddy couldn't commence when the daddy refused to play along. We would meet every night for dinner at my house, and each night ended with a heavy make-out session that left us both frustrated. It would have been easy to relieve the tension, but I was a greedy bitch. I wanted the full experience.

"I find it ironic," Rosalie declared as she took a bite of the peach crisp we were sharing for dessert. "You slept together twice that weekend – once when you didn't even know each other's names – and now he won't touch you."

"Oh, he touches me," I said. "He's insanely affectionate. He just won't have sex with me."

"I think it's sweet," Alice concluded as she dropped her fork, indicating she was finished. "Jasper says that you and the baby are all he talks about."

"Emmett says the same thing," Rose grinned. "I do believe our girl Bella is taming the manwhore that was once Edward Cullen."

I took a bite of our dessert and was thankful when Alice changed the subject. The last thing I wanted to discuss was Edward's torrid past. I'd never asked because it was none of my business. Still, I didn't want to hear about it.

Lunch with my girls was a tradition. The three of us tried to get together at least once a week at the Metropolitan Grill, and I had inhaled my grilled chicken sandwich with fries and had eaten half of Rosalie's grilled salmon. At this rate, I was going to gain a hundred pounds with this baby.

Alice was babbling about the joys of being a newlywed when I felt my cell phone vibrate. I glanced down at the screen and couldn't help but smile when I noticed the message was from Edward. I opened the text, and my smile grew wider.

_I miss you._

I noticed it was close to one, and he was supposed to be in a meeting with a client.

_**How's your meeting?**_

_Boring. Entertain me, please._

**You should really focus on your client, Mr. Cullen.**

_I'd rather focus on you, Miss Swan._

I giggled, and I heard Rosalie clear her throat. My head snapped up, and my two best friends were smiling at me with shit-eating grins stretched across their faces.

"You make me sick," Rosalie smirked.

"I don't give you shit when you get all girly around Emmett," I reminded her with a glare.

"You're actually blushing!" Alice sang happily. "I've never seen you so…"

"…girly," Rosalie finished for her.

"It must be all of those mommy hormones surging through me," I replied quietly as I reached down into my bag and pulled out some cash. "Love you both, but I have to go. I have an article to write."

I had barely made it out the sidewalk before my cell phone was ringing.

"Hello?"

"You left me hanging," Edward murmured gently.

I grinned as I made my way down the sidewalk and back toward the office. "I was having lunch with the girls, and your client isn't paying you to sit there and text with your…whatever I am…"

Edward chuckled. "That's a good point. We should probably give you an official name or something."

I crinkled my nose in disgust. "If you start calling me your baby mama, I would have to seriously reconsider our weekend plans."

"Do you call me your baby daddy?"

_Yes._

"Of course not."

Edward laughed. "Well, I think we should give it some thought. Your father would probably appreciate an explanation as to why I'm there."

This entire trip was making me just a bit anxious. Because he was much more laid-back, I expected Charlie's reaction to be the complete opposite of Renee's, but I still wasn't sure how thrilled he was going to be to find out that he was becoming a grandfather.

"Don't be nervous," Edward murmured softly. It was a little frightening how astute he was becoming to my moods.

"I'll try not to be," I promised him.

We talked about our day so far, and we made dinner plans before hanging up. It was frightening how natural all of this seemed, as if we were just any normal couple, when we were anything but. We were still getting to know each other, and while it was too soon to have a conversation about the future, I sensed that Edward was serious about making this work. He was attentive and sweet, and I saw a sentimental side to him that I was sure very few had ever witnessed. He was passionate about law and he adored his family. We had talked some about our childhoods, and I could always detect a sadness coming from him that I couldn't quite comprehend. I didn't know if it was my reporter's instincts or just woman's intuition, but there was something there. I was certain he'd tried to tell me a few times during the past week, but something would always interrupt us, and I had a feeling it was a conversation that would require undivided attention from both of us. I had never pushed, because I knew he'd tell me whenever he was ready.

I spent the rest of the afternoon working on a news article and preparing my questions for my interview with the mayoral candidate. It was a feature interview, and I was so thankful to Harry for giving me the chance. I was just finishing up when I heard my name being called from the stairs. I looked over the cubicle wall to see Edward's regular delivery boy, holding a vase of flowers. He'd stopped sending the flowers once I'd finally let him in the door, so this was a definite surprise. I guiltily waved at the boy – I'm sure he was sick of seeing my face – and he dutifully walked toward my desk.

"Hey," I blushed as I inhaled the sweet scent of the white roses. "I'm sorry about this."

"Don't be," he shrugged happily. "Mr. Cullen tips _really _well. Have a nice day, Miss Swan."

I thanked him as I grabbed the card, and I couldn't help but giggle as I read his message to me.

_**I think your official name should be "girlfriend."**_

_**Love,**_

_**Edward**_

* * *

***EPOV***

"_That's a dog," she giggles as we lay on our backs looking up at the clouds._

_I squint my eyes against the sunlight. "That's not a dog…."_

"_Is too. See the tail?"_

_I try really hard to see a tail, or anything else that resembles an animal. All I see are clouds. But I pretend to see a dog, because it makes her happy._

"_What's beyond the clouds?" Jane asks._

"_Space," I murmur. The grass is scratchy against my back._

"_And then what?"_

"_Heaven."_

"_We'll go there someday," Jane smiles. "We'll go together."_

_I smile, too, because I have no reason to doubt her. We do everything together._

* * *

I glance up at the sky and notice the differing shapes of clouds. She would have loved today. She loved the simplest things in life, and cloud-watching was one of her favorites.

I lowered my head and allowed my gaze to linger on her carved name on the polished rock. Kneeling on the earth, I placed the white rose on Jane's tombstone and traced my fingers over her name.

_**Jane Amelia Cullen**_

_**1982-1997**_

"Hey," I whispered soberly as my fingers ghosted along the curves of the letter embedded into the marble. I sat down on the grass and looked up at the sky. The clouds were beginning to roll in. "I know it's been a while since I've visited you. I could make all kinds of excuses, but what would be the point. You always knew when I was lying."

I smiled sadly as I focused on the white rose. "I've been buying a lot of white roses lately. I think maybe that's why I chose white, because you loved them. You always said that red roses were so universal and common. But, if you gave someone a white rose, that meant that you'd really given it some thought."

A soft rain began to fall from the sky, and I stared up at the heavens.

I sighed softly. "I've met someone, Jane. Her name is Bella, and we're going to have a baby. She's beautiful and sweet, and she has the sweetest laugh I've ever heard – besides yours, of course. She doesn't put up with my crap, and she makes me want to be _better_. A better lawyer. A better son. A better brother. We've only known each other for a short time, but I haven't felt this kind of connection to anyone since you passed away. It scares me Jane. It scares me so much because…"

It had been thirteen years since I'd cried, and I was surprised to feel a lone tear streaming down my cheek.

"…I am so in love with her, and it scares me to death. I've spent the last thirteen years avoiding any kind of connection with another living soul just so that I would never have to feel that kind of pain again. It's a fact of life. We live and we die. It's the _how_ and _when_ that is yet to be determined. But it _will_ happen, and I know this. So I had shut down in an attempt to avoid any kind of bond with anyone besides our family, and this girl…" I smiled as I remembered how beautiful she looked in that piano bar. "This girl appeared out of nowhere, and she consumes my every thought."

"Can I do this?" I whispered softly. "Can I love this woman and be a good father to our baby, and can I do it whole-heartedly, without living in constant fear of losing them?"

The rain began to diminish, and a slight ray of sunshine filtered through the clouds. I laughed lightly.

"I'm taking this as a sign, baby sister."

I was exactly five minutes older, and it was for that reason that I always considered myself her big brother – her protector – while she was always my conscience. Her joy in life had been finding the beauty in things that weren't obviously beautiful upon first glance. Things like misshaped clouds…white roses…a band named Hootie…and a twin brother who was far from perfect, and didn't go to heaven with her like he promised he would.

As always, I placed a kiss on my finger and lightly traced it over her name before pulling myself off the ground. After a visit to the cemetery, I usually felt dead inside. Today was different. I felt lighter…and happier.

My cell phone vibrated, and I pulled it from my jacket pocket. I quickly glanced at it, and seeing her name on the screen reminded me as to why I was such a happy man.

**Your baby misses you.**

I couldn't help but smile as I typed back my reply.

_Which baby?_

**Both of us.**

_I miss you, too. I'm on my way home._

And for the first time in thirteen years, I truly believed those words.

**Did you need that tissue? **

**We're headed to Charlie's next! **


	11. That's My Daughter in the Water

**AN: Chapter song is from Loudon Wainwright III's "Daughter." If you haven't heard this song, please find it on YouTube. It's adorable.**

**I love writing Charlie. This is mostly Edward's POV, with a little Bella thrown in.**

**Much love to my beta, snarkerella.**

* * *

Chapter 11

_That's My Daughter in the Water_

* * *

***EPOV***

During the past week, I learned some important things about Bella Swan.

First, I admitted to myself that I was in love with her – head over heels, out of my mind, completely in love with this girl. If I was being completely honest with myself, I'm pretty sure that I fell in love with her during our very first weekend together. It would certainly explain why I'd been unable and unwilling to perform in a particular area where I had zero previous problems doing so. I was thinking about the cheesiest shit – like how beautiful she looked first thing in the morning…how her eyes were deep and brown and saw straight through me…how I couldn't wait to see her round with my child. I would have busted anyone else's balls for having such ridiculous thoughts about their woman, but I was incapable of stopping myself from feeling this way. I thought about her from the moment I woke up until the time I fell asleep, and even my dreams were consumed by her. It was unbelievable and scary as hell, but somehow, I had fallen in love with this woman.

Another thing that I learned this past week was that this goddess was an absolute sex kitten – one who was quite creative and persistent when she was horny. While this fact wasn't nearly as scary as the falling in love predicament, it was definitely an issue because, for the first time in my life, I was trying to be the responsible one when it came to sex.

That's something else I learned this week – being responsible _sucks_.

Because of my own deep-seated fears, I was scared to death to have to sex with Bella until we got the clear from her doctor. Of course, he was on vacation this week, but the nurse assured Bella that sex was perfectly fine during pregnancy as long as there was no discomfort. Bella had seen this as a gigantic green light, but I figured she was too horny to really be trusted. She'd never tell me if she was uncomfortable, so instead, I made myself scarce, thinking if I spent nights in my own bed I would be less tempted.

That lasted for about a day.

I was in the middle of negotiations with a corporate executive when I got the first text. It was innocent enough, just telling me how much she missed my kisses. Before I knew it, the conversation took a heated turn, and by the end, I had to excuse myself from the meeting out of fear that everyone would notice the massive erection I was sporting. The next day, she continued her torture – moving on to visual images. My inbox was flooded with pictures of her wearing that skimpy blue tank top and boy shorts outfit that I loved so much. When I ignored the text, she sent me another one – and this time she was completely nude. She was relentless, and each night, I'd leave her panting and breathless on the couch as I made my way out her door with the biggest case of blue balls known to mankind. She absolutely refused to give either of us any type of release, and it was easy to figure out why. She figured I'd cave eventually. She's probably right, because the girl is fucking killing me and there's only so much provocation a man can take.

The drive to her father's house was a long one, and I had been hopeful that her anxiety regarding her father's reaction to our news would squelch any mention of sex.

But no…

"Sex during pregnancy is wonderful…" Bella's voice raised an octave higher than usual as she scanned the page of the baby bible. "You can continue to have sex as far into pregnancy, right up until birth, as you and your partner are comfortable. This includes orgasms." She turned her beautiful brown eyes to me. "Did you hear that, Edward? Orgasms. Doesn't an orgasm sound _really _good right now?"

I groaned, and she shot me a triumphant look as I made my way onto Highway 101. I just rolled my eyes and kept driving. She'd only been reading from that baby book for the past three hours. There was actually a lot of information in there regarding pregnancy sex, and some of it was quite education. A lot of it was gross.

My beautiful baby mama was not to be deterred as she eagerly flipped the page and continued reading. "Your baby is fully protected by the amniotic sac, a thin-walled bag that holds the fetus and surrounding fluid, and the strong muscles of the uterus. There's also a thick mucus plug that seals the cervix and helps guard against infection. The penis does **not** come into contact with the fetus during sex."

See? Gross.

Educational, but gross.

By the time we made it to the Forks city limits, I was infuriatingly aroused and her little hand on my thigh wasn't helping matters at all. I turned off onto the first partially deserted road I could find and slammed the gear shift into park.

"You're killing me, you realize this, don't you?"

Bella giggled as she swiftly unbuckled her seat belt and climbed into my lap. I pulled the lever on the chair, pushing it back to give us as much room as possible as she straddled me. It was heaven and hell all wrapped up in one gorgeous, sexy brunette package that knew exactly what she was doing when she leaned forward and took my earlobe between her teeth.

"I want you so much," Bella whispered sultry against my ear. My hands gripped her hips and pulled her tighter against me as she continued whispering naughty words that shot straight to my groin.

"I want you too, baby," I murmured against her neck. My hands drifted along her back and up along her shoulder blades until my hands drowned in the mahogany waves of her hair. I gently grabbed her by the nape of the neck and brought her lips to mine. She groaned low in her throat as I poured every ounce of frustration and craving into that kiss. I wasn't having sex with her today, but I was adamant that she never take my refusal as a lack of desire for her.

I kissed her until she was breathless, and I followed it up with soft kisses along her cheek as we both struggled to catch our breath. She looked a little dazed when I whispered that her father was expecting us to pull into his driveway in ten minutes. Wordlessly, she climbed back into her own seat and buckled her seat belt without any prompting from me.

I had finally kissed her speechless.

I couldn't keep the smug smile off my face as we made our way down the two-lane road that led to Charlie Swan's house. Bella quietly gave me directions, and I drove slowly toward her childhood home. He'd been welcoming enough when she'd called. Bella had told him that she was bringing someone home, and while he'd seemed surprised, he was eager to meet me. I couldn't help but wonder how eager he'd be if he knew what I'd done to his daughter in that hotel room, but I decided to ignore that fear for now. We had bigger worries – like how he was going to react to the news that he was going to be a grandfather.

"We're half a mile away and _now_ you're driving the speed limit," Bella smirked. "You aren't nervous, are you Mr. Cullen?"

"Not at all, Songbird," I lied. What did I have to be nervous about? I mean, this was the _first_ fatherI've ever met, and the man owned guns and had authorization to shoot them. He may be two years away from retirement, but I doubted that Charlie Swan missed many targets on the firing range. I also instinctively knew that his approval was important to Bella, which made his approval important to me.

Hell yes I was nervous.

"It's the white house just up on the left," Bella whispered softly, and I reached across the console and took her hand in mine as I pulled into the driveway. I didn't want her to be nervous, but it was nice to know that we were both a little freaked out.

The house looked homey and well-kept, which shouldn't be surprising considering I'm a bachelor, too, and I like my apartment to be in order. The lawn was freshly cut with a row of hostas lining the concrete sidewalk leading to the steps. There were two cars parked in the driveway – one a squad car and the other a red four-door sedan.

"I wonder who's here…" Bella whispered gently as I turned off the ignition.

"Only one way to find out," I grinned as I squeezed her hand. She really did look pale, and I hoped it was just nerves. "Ready?"

"You know none of this matters," Bella murmured gently, her brown eyes staring into mine. "Whether he approves or not is irrelevant."

I smiled softly. "Irrelevant, but still, it would be nice."

Bella nodded, and I squeezed her hand once more before we each opened our car doors. I grabbed each of our overnight bags and met Bella on the sidewalk. With my free hand, I took hers as I led her up the path.

"Umm, maybe you should wait out here," Bella whispered shakily. "Let me butter him up first."

"Bella…" I started to argue.

"Please?" Her voice quivered as we walked up the steps. "Just stay out here on the porch for a few minutes. Let me gauge his mood. I mean, Charlie is usually pretty laid back, but I'd still like to know what we're dealing with before I throw you to the wolves."

I rolled my eyes as I sat down on the wrought-iron bench just outside the front door. "Fine, baby. Go gauge his mood."

She leaned down and kissed my cheek before turning the knob of the front door and walking in unannounced. I stared out at the surrounding houses and noticed that the neighborhood was really quiet and peaceful. I bet she loved her summers here, away from her crazy-ass mother. I noticed a next-door neighbor carrying a bag of garbage toward the road, and he waved at me as he tossed it into the can. I waved in return, and I found it interesting that a complete stranger had taken the time to be friendly. You don't see that in Seattle.

Suddenly, the front door opened, and an ashen Bella stepped out onto the porch. She softly closed the door behind her and slumped onto the bench next to me. She looked straight ahead – her face much paler than before – looking as if she'd just seen a ghost.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

She just kept shaking her head – her eyes wide with shock. Moments later, a petite woman with short brown hair made her way out the door. Behind her, a man with Bella's big brown eyes appeared, and he looked apologetic and a little embarrassed. His eyes ghosted over me, and I offered him a concerned smile.

"It was nice to see you again, Bella," the woman whispered, her face bright red with embarrassment.

Bella simply nodded as she continued staring straight ahead. "You too, Sue. I saw…much more of you than I ever thought I'd see…but yeah, it was good to see you, too."

Charlie coughed nervously as Sue nodded to me. I nodded in return, and we watched as the chief walked the woman to her car.

I couldn't take it any longer. "What the hell is going on?"

Bella sighed heavily as she whispered, "I just walked in on my father and Sue Clearwater having sex on his couch. That woman was straddling my father, much like I was just straddling you in the car, except _she_ was naked and they were very much having _sex_. You don't have to worry about me trying to jump your bones for the duration of this trip. Maybe ever. I think I am traumatized for life."

I couldn't contain the cackle that erupted from my chest. Bella's wide brown eyes flashed to me, and I bit my lip in a futile attempt to control my laughter.

"Stop laughing," Bella muttered as we watched Sue backing out of the driveway. Charlie Swan looked up at the porch, took one long look at this daughter, and proceeded to burst out laughing.

I liked him instantly.

* * *

*BPOV*

I was obviously having an out-of-body experience, and I was in desperate need of bleach to burn my retinas. Instead, I was sitting at the kitchen table (I was avoiding the couch) and watching my father and my baby daddy laughing as if they'd known each other for years.

It was true what they say. Men really do stick together.

They were both drinking a beer while I sucked on a banana Popsicle and pretended to listen as they made plans to go fishing later this afternoon. I didn't even know that Edward knew how to fish, but he was discussing the difference between a treble hook and a weedless hook, and I could tell that my dad was impressed. They made quick plans to go down to Olympic Sporting Goods and purchase Edward a one-day fishing license. It seemed silly to me to have to buy a license for an afternoon of male bonding and ass-kissing, but what did I know?

"Bella never liked to fish," my father grinned in my direction, "but she loved to bait the hook."

"Really?" Edward smiled at me. I simply shrugged and continued licking on my Popsicle. I had the satisfaction of watching his eyes darken as my tongue wrapped around it. My father, still clearly satisfied thanks to his own _afternoon delight_, didn't notice as he quickly stood up and tossed his can in the garbage. I took the opportunity to become overtly offensive with my snack. Edward shifted uncomfortably in his chair, and I smiled sweetly.

_That's what you get for making me suffer, Cullen._

After purchasing Edward's license, Charlie drove us to his favorite fishing spot on the outer edge of the Sol Duc River. It was one of my favorites, too. When I was younger, Charlie would bring me here and he'd fish all day while I walked along the river's edge in my bare feet. Sometimes we'd go out on his boat, but I always preferred watching him fish on the shore. It made escaping and exploring so much easier.

I watched in morbid fascination as the two most important men in my life sat down on the riverbed and checked their reels.

"Are you baiting, Bella?" Charlie called out.

"Yep," I said as I made my way to their side. I quickly and expertly baited my father's line, and he offered me a happy smile before I turned toward Edward's reel. He watched me carefully, and when I was finished, he reached over and kissed my cheek. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see my dad watching our exchange, and I saw him smile.

I hoped he was still smiling when he found out that I was having Edward's baby.

* * *

*EPOV*

As an attorney, I was a cynic by nature. I prepared for the worst and hoped for the best, which was pretty much how I'd approached this meeting with Charlie. I wasn't a father (yet), but I could see how this might look to a dad. His daughter was bringing home a man she'd known for eight weeks and announcing they were having a baby. Of course, we hadn't mentioned the baby yet, but that was the entire purpose of this trip, so it was bound to happen soon enough. But – minus Bella's eye-opening experience with her father and his girlfriend – this afternoon couldn't be going better.

I had only been fishing a few times in my life, but Charlie was impressed with what little I knew, and I was eager to learn. I would do anything to make this man accept me, and if that meant throwing a reel in the Sol-Duc for an afternoon – well, that was a small price to pay.

Besides, there was little to do while fishing except chat and watch your line, but I was having difficulty doing either because Bella was standing downstream with the legs of her jeans rolled-up to her knees. She was walking carefully through the water, looking down at the bubbling stream and then up at the sky. She looked so content and peaceful, and I really wished I'd brought my cell phone just so that I could take a picture. Her hair was glistening in the sunlight, and I'd never seen her look more beautiful. She must have felt my eyes on her because she suddenly stopped walking and looked my way. She smiled shyly, and I couldn't help but smile in return.

"You could have a fifty pound steelhead on your line, and you'd never notice," Charlie smirked at me.

I laughed, unable to deny it. "No, I wouldn't."

Charlie looked at his daughter wading in the water, and he sighed quietly as he turned his attention toward his pole once again.

"You're in love with my daughter."

Just like that. No fanfare. No threat of bodily harm. No rifle pointed in my face.

"I am," I admitted softly, because I refused to lie to this man.

Charlie nodded. "Does she know that you are?"

I shifted uncomfortably on the ground as I pretended to suddenly be very interested in my reel. "I haven't actually said the words, no…"

He stared out across the clear, blue water.

"Don't you think you should tell her?"

"I'm not sure she's ready to hear it," I murmured gently. I couldn't be sure of this, of course. Perhaps I just wasn't ready to say it.

"I see," Charlie grunted quietly. "So it's okay to get her pregnant, but it's not okay to tell her that you're in love with her?"

_Holy shit._

Charlie glanced over his shoulder at Bella before turning to me and grinning. "I got a very interesting phone call a few days ago from Renee."

I groaned. Fucking Renee and her big mouth.

"I don't mean to be disrespectful, but that ex of yours is a piece of work."

"You're telling me," Charlie agreed with a nod. "Why do you think she's my _ex-_wife?"

He was waiting for me to continue, but I didn't know what the hell to say. I mean, the man was fucking his girlfriend on his couch just a few hours ago, so he was obviously cool with premarital sex, but I figured his outlook on the rules might be different when it involved his daughter.

"Bella's mother was…difficult," Charlie said charitably. "We got pregnant and married very young, but back then, that's what you did. If you got a girl in trouble, you married her. No questions asked. She was pissed and bitter, and she stayed that way until the day we divorced. She was unimaginably hard on Bella – putting those bullshit expectations on her and expecting her to be this little adult when she was just a little girl. I understood the reasoning behind it. She wanted more for Bella. She wanted Bella to have choices, a career, and a bright future. That's what all parents want. So, yeah, I understood the logic. I just hated the way she went about it."

"I understand that," I admitted quietly, "but she was inexcusably rude to Bella when we told her the truth. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to forgive her for that."

"Which just proves to me how much you love her," Charlie remarked with a grin. "Don't worry about it. Renee rarely shows her face, and when she does it's like a tornado – fast and furious."

"That shit's not fair to Bella, though."

He couldn't argue with that. "No, it's not, and that's why I'm relying on you to take care of Bella when it happens. It won't happen often, but it _will_ happen. Can you handle it?"

I looked across the water and noticed that Bella had waded out into the river, but she was still close enough to the edge that I wasn't completely panicked. Not yet, anyway.

"I can handle Renee," I promised him, "but your daughter is fiercely independent. She rarely lets me help her with anything."

Charlie laughed loudly, and I'm sure he scared away any of the fish in our vicinity of the river.

"She _is_ headstrong," Charlie smiled fondly as he pulled his reel from the water. "Bella was determined to move to the city, and I couldn't stop her. It's very hard on a father to have your child so far away. Of course, it's not nearly as far as Jacksonville, so that's good."

I nodded as I brought my own line out of the water. Of course, the bait was gone. Each of us re-baited our lines and threw them back out into the water.

"I could give you the whole '_what are your intentions toward my daughter'_ speech," Charlie smirked as he gazed out across the water. "I heard it from Renee's father, and I remember every last word of it. But times have changed, and I don't think Bella would marry you right now even if you begged."

"No, I don't think she would," I whispered softly as I watched her legs disappear deeper into the water. Charlie must have detected my unease because he looked downstream and turned back to me with a grin.

"She's okay," he explained calmly. "The water is shallow there."

I sighed with relief, and Charlie laughed softly.

"You're very protective," Charlie noted. "I bet she just _loves _that."

I grinned. "She hates it, but I can't help it."

"I think it's a good thing," he murmured hesitantly, "just be sure to give her some space, too. Renee's child-rearing has made Bella very sensitive. If she thinks you're being too controlling…"

"I know," I replied, recalling the shitstorm that had erupted when I made her a new turkey sandwich.

"So I won't ask your intentions," Charlie continued gruffly as he turned his steely gaze to me. "But I will say this. If you hurt my daughter, Renee will be the least of your worries. You take care of her, and you take care of that baby, and you and I will have no problems."

I nodded firmly just as Bella started making her way toward us. I couldn't keep from smiling as she caught my eye and gave me a questioning look. I just shook my head and messed with my reel.

"Are you boys having a nice chat?" Bella asked as she made her way to my side. She pulled her knees up to her chest, and I watched her toes wiggle in the sand. It was quite possibly the cutest thing I'd ever seen.

"We have been," Charlie replied as he reeled in his line. "I think I'm going to move up stream a bit."

We watched him walk along the sandy shore of the river and cast his line into water.

"What was that about?" Bella whispered as she leaned her head on my shoulder.

"I think he's just giving us some privacy while I deliver the big news," I teased as I reeled in my line. I had absolutely no interest in this, and now that Charlie had moved, I didn't feel the need to continue the facade.

Bella's head shot up. "I found my father on the couch with Sue Clearwater. I'm not sure I can handle more big news."

"Well, this is kind of important," I explained quietly as I played with a strand of her hair. "Charlie knows you're pregnant."

Bella's eyes flashed with fear as she turned her head toward her father and then back to me.

"He knows?"

"Yep."

"You told him?"

"Nope," I shook my head. "Renee beat us to it."

Bella sighed softly as she stared across the sparkling river. "Well, he brought you to his favorite fishing spot, and he didn't throw you in, so I'm assuming he's okay with it."

"I think so," I nodded thoughtfully. "He didn't pull out his revolver, at least."

Bella giggled as she picked up a pebble and tossed it into the water. As usual, the clouds began to darken, and Charlie shouted that a storm was on its way. We quickly packed our gear, and Bella took my hand in hers as we made our way back to Charlie's truck.

* * *

The rest of the night was as nice as the afternoon. Bella cooked spaghetti and meatballs for dinner, and we'd sat around the table as Charlie shared stories of Bella's summer escapades. It was easy to see that he adored his daughter. They were very close, and I was glad that our news hadn't spoiled that. We talked until around midnight, at which time Charlie announced he was headed for bed. It was assumed that I would sleep on the couch, and I was fine with that. Bella was still in sex kitten mode, and I figured the last place I needed to take advantage of that was in her childhood bedroom with her father just down the hall. Because of Charlie and Sue's afternoon tryst, Bella absolutely insisted on covering the sofa with a sheet. We said our goodnights and I had stolen a few kisses from Bella before everyone made their way to their respective beds.

The rain was torrential as it beat down on the metal roof of the house. While that sound was soothing, it was still a strange house and an uncomfortable sofa, so I found myself staring at the ceiling for hours. It was around two when I heard movement coming from the stairs. I rose from the couch to find Charlie dressed in bright yellow rain gear.

"Didn't mean to wake you," he murmured in the dark. "There's been an accident out on Willow."

"Nothing serious, I hope."

"Me too," Charlie grunted as he turned the volume down on his radio. "Who knows when I'll be home, but I'll try to call at some point. Bella tends to worry when I'm out all night."

I smiled softly as I leaned back against the pillow. "Be careful, Charlie."

"I will," he nodded as he grabbed the rest of his gear. "It's ridiculous that you're down here on the couch. I mean, she's already pregnant…"

I laughed quietly.

"Hundred bucks says you won't be on that couch when I get home," Charlie smirked as he made his way toward the kitchen. "Good night, Edward."

"Good night, Chief," I grinned, and I heard him close the door. I brought my feet to the floor and reached over to the coffee table to grab my wallet. Thankfully, I had a hundred dollar bill stashed inside.

It took me approximately six seconds to make my way up the darkened stairs.

* * *

The creaking of her door couldn't be heard over the thunderous rainfall hitting the roof, and she didn't move as I made way to the empty side of her bed. I carefully pulled the blanket away and crawled beneath it, wrapping my arm around her waist and pulling her back against my chest.

"You're a brave, brave man," Bella whispered in the darkness. I grinned as I nuzzled her hair with my nose.

"I didn't mean to wake you," I murmured softly. "I just missed you."

"I wasn't asleep," Bella said as she grabbed my hand from her hip and laced her fingers with mine. "I was missing you, too."

I kissed the skin along her shoulder, and she sighed softly as I ghosted my lips along the shell of her ear.

"Your father got called out," I whispered quietly.

"I'm not surprised," she murmured, squeezing my fingers with hers. "The weather is terrible."

I nodded as she turned around in my arms and snuggled closer to my side. The lightning in the window illuminated her face, and I could see that her eyes were closed and her face was peaceful. I couldn't resist leaning down and kissing her softly, letting my lips linger tenderly along the corner of her mouth. I gently caressed her face as her hands wove in my hair.

"And you said you couldn't be tender," Bella whispered, and I laughed lightly.

"I'm learning."

"I don't think you're learning," Bella said as she stroked my cheek. "I think you've been tender all along. You just hide it well."

"I have been hiding for the past thirteen years, Bella." I leaned down and kissed her softly, and she sighed against my mouth. "I was content with hiding until I met you."

Her finger traced softly along my lips. "You don't want to hide anymore?"

"Not from you," I smiled down into her beautiful face. It wasn't the most ideal setting for a heavy conversation. It was the middle of the night and there was a torrential downpour battering the house. But she was smiling up at me, her eyes hopeful and alive, and I found myself eager to tell her every blissful and heartbreaking detail of my life.

"It's time to tell you about Jane," I whispered softly.

* * *

**My summer vacation is almost over, which means my update schedule will be going back to weekend updates. I rarely go more than a week without updating, but I wanted to prepare you, because I know I've spoiled you this summer. :)**

**As always, I love to hear what you think. Next chapter is Jane and more Charlie bonding.**


	12. I Want the World to See You Be With Me

**AN: Much love to my beta, snarkerella, who was very honest with me last night and talked me off my ledge. If you like this chapter, please thank her, because I'd written a totally different chapter, and it was a hot mess. Be glad you didn't see it! :)**

**Chapter title comes from Train's "Hey Soul Sister." I have started a playlist for this story. You can find the link on my profile (that is, if FFn is cooperating today).**

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Chapter 12

I Want the World to See You Be With Me

* * *

***EPOV***

"Jane?"

With the lightning flashing through the window, I could see the confusion on her face. I smiled softly as I played with a strand of her hair.

"Jane was my sister."

"Oh," Bella's voice was tinged with surprise. "I didn't realize you had a sister."

"Twin sister, actually," I murmured.

"What happened to her?"

"She died when we were fifteen."

Bella's face flickered with shock and surprise. "Oh…Edward, I'm so sorry. Was she the girl in the picture? Tinker Bell?"

I nodded. "That was Halloween, and we were ten years old. I got beat up at school the next day for wearing that Peter Pan costume. I didn't care, though. It was worth it to see the smile on her face."

Bella smiled softly. "Will you tell me about her?"

I pulled her close to my side, and she laid her head against my chest. Her fingers ghosted along the front of my t-shirt as my hand drifted along her spine.

"She loved Madonna," I murmured in the darkness. "She thought Michael Stipe was a genius, and she made me learn how to play Hootie and the Blowfish on piano. I fucking hated that song."

Bella giggled softly as I continued.

"Jane had my mother's bright green eyes, and she had dad's blonde hair. She loved to take pictures, and she had this cheap-ass camera that took really shitty pictures, but she loved it so much. Mom and Dad were always offering to buy her a better camera, but hers was cute and pink and she just refused to replace it. She would take pictures of the most ordinary, mundane objects and make them look beautiful."

Bella's hand found mine in the darkness, and she squeezed it gently. "Did you guys have that twin connection – you know, reading each other's minds and finishing each other's sentences?"

"We did," I whispered softly. "Her happiness depended on mine, and vice versa. She was my very best friend.

I fell silent then as the rain crashed against Bella's window. Suddenly, a flash of lightning and a deafening crash of thunder erupted, and the alarm clock on her bedside table went dark.

"We've lost power," I whispered gently. Not that it mattered. I was content to lie in the dark with her in my arms.

"I'm not surprised," Bella murmured against my chest. I pulled the blankets around us and held her tight.

"What happened to her?" Bella whispered softly.

I sighed. "Jane loved to dance, and she took ballet lessons for a while. When she was thirteen, she started complaining of pain in her joints. We just assumed she was just overdoing it in class, but it wasn't long before we started to see other symptoms. She began to bruise really easily, and she kept getting colds that never really went away. She started losing weight because she had zero appetite…"

"Cancer?" Bella asked softly.

"Leukemia," I whispered. "How did you know?"

"After I interviewed your dad at the charity gala, I did some research," Bella explained. "I remember reading about the symptoms. That explains why your family is so devoted to cancer research."

I nodded. "Jane was diagnosed with leukemia a week before Christmas. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. My sister was always so lively and happy, and suddenly, she was just pale and fragile. She was a strong little thing, and she suffered through all of the doctors and treatments, but nothing made a difference. The disease was just too advanced, and I watched in agony as my sister just wasted away…"

I felt Bella squeeze my hand, and I pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I felt so guilty," I whispered thickly. "I was her brother. It was my job to protect her." I took a steadying breath as I continued. "She died two years after her diagnosis. After that, our entire family just fell apart. Emmett started getting into fights at school. My father stopped practicing medicine and became obsessed with cancer research. I buried myself in my room with my broken heart and my memories, and my poor mother desperately tried to deal with her own grief while trying to hold our family together."

Bella leaned on her elbow and gazed up at me. "Your family is so strong now."

"In many ways we are," I murmured. "Time has a way of dealing with grief, I suppose. Dad channeled his grief into his research, and Mom is always volunteering at the hospital. Emmett became a cop…"

"And you're a successful lawyer," Bella whispered.

"I'm a lawyer," I shrugged, "but I'm far from successful, Bella."

"What do you mean?"

I sighed heavily and nuzzled her hair. "Losing my sister changed me. It really altered how I view the world. The day they lowered her into the ground was the hardest day of my life. I felt like I died that day, too, and I swore I would never get close to another soul for the rest of my life. I had no choice when it came to my family, but I refused to allow myself to feel _anything_ for anyone else. Never again would I allow myself to love someone so much that it would destroy me if I lost them. So, I became the man you found the first night we met. That's the man I'd been for thirteen years. Cold. Distant. Gone before the sun rose the next morning. I didn't want more than that. I was careful in my conquests, if you could call them that. I chose women who were like me – professional women who wanted no strings attached sex. That was me."

Bella softly caressed my face. "When you saw me in that piano bar, did you think that was me?"

"I didn't think anything," I whispered softly. "I simply didn't care. You were so beautiful, and your voice…" I closed my eyes as I remembered the sweetness of her sultry voice. "I just wanted you so much, Songbird. I wanted you so much that using a condom never even entered my mind, and I was _always_ careful. Always."

Bella snuggled back into my arms, and I closed my eyes as her sweet fragrance overwhelmed me. "I was always careful, too. I was actually on the pill at the time. _Someone_ just distracted me, and I didn't take a pill all weekend long."

I grinned. "It was quite a lovely distraction."

Bella giggled. "It certainly was."

"Now look at us," I whispered teasingly. "We're having a baby. I've met your father. He knows you're pregnant, and he didn't shoot me."

"It's a miracle," Bella laughed softly.

I kissed the top of her head as I slid my fingers through her hair. "I'm still afraid, Bella. I never wanted to be close to anyone, but I don't have a choice now."

"I don't want you to be with me out of obligation," Bella whispered sadly, and I gently turned her face toward mine.

"That's not what I meant," I murmured. "I meant that I don't have a choice because I'm so crazy about you, and I was crazy about you before I even knew you were pregnant."

"Really?"

"Really," I breathed. "I couldn't get you out of my head, no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't even _look_ at another woman without thinking about you. So please never think that I'm here just because of the baby. I want to be with you."

"I want to be with you, too," she whispered quietly as she tilted her face toward mine. I brushed her lips gently with my own, letting my hand drift down to the small of her back as I pulled her flush against my body. We kissed gently…teasingly…until I pulled away and gazed into her deep, brown eyes. The lightning from the window illuminated her face, and I was certain I'd never seen anything more beautiful.

"Do you know what you mean to me?" I whispered softly, and she moaned softly as her mouth crashed against mine once again. Before I could stop myself, I was pulling her on top of me, and I groaned as the heat from her body collided with mine. Her hair fell down around us, and I brought both of my hands to the back of her neck as I held her against me, kissing her frantically. In the back of my mind, I knew that I should put a stop to this. But the house was empty…and she was so warm…and her kisses were driving me insane…

"Bella, we should stop," I panted against her lips.

"You don't want to stop," she murmured. I groaned because I couldn't deny it. While my mind was intent on waiting until we talked to her doctor, my body obviously had other ideas. It didn't help that she was grinding against me, and my hands found her hips, pulling her tight against me as I kissed her hungrily. I was just sliding my hands beneath her shirt when she suddenly pulled away.

"What's wrong?" I panted against her neck.

"What's that noise?" Bella asked urgently.

"It's your father," Charlie laughed from the hallway. Thank God I'd remembered to close the door. "Someone owes me a hundred bucks. I'll be expecting that, along with eggs and bacon, over breakfast in the morning. Good night, you two."

We waited until we could hear the slam of his bedroom door before throwing the blanket over our heads and laughing hysterically.

* * *

***BPOV***

I awoke around nine, the blinking of the bedside alarm signifying that our electricity was back. The storm had finally passed soon after Charlie returned home, and Edward and I had fallen asleep in each other's arms. Carefully, I turned in his arms and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. He mumbled my name in his sleep, and I couldn't help but smile when his arms tightened around my waist. I pulled myself away from his grasp and climbed out of bed. I dressed hurriedly and rushed down the stairs, eager to pay my penance for our late-night make-out session.

This weekend couldn't have gone better. My father loved Edward, and last night, Edward had shared his deepest, darkest pain with me. The story of his sister certainly explained his family's devotion to cancer research, and I knew now that Edward's protectiveness wasn't just a misplaced need for control. He was truly afraid of losing me, and now I could understand why.

As I scrambled the eggs and fried the bacon, I couldn't help but wonder about our baby. My hand that was holding the spatula began to shake. I couldn't even imagine having one baby…but two? Was it possible that I could be carrying twins? I'd have to research that, or at the very least, discuss it with Carlisle. I also wondered if leukemia could be genetic, and if so, what that might mean for our baby. Or babies.

_Babies…_

I was so lost in thought that I didn't hear Edward sneak up behind me. I jumped as he rested his chin on my shoulder.

"Baby, does your father like extra crispy bacon?"

I quickly glanced down at the frying pan, and I groaned before hastily tossing the nearly blackened strips of bacon onto a plate. Thankfully, the eggs looked much better. Edward laughed and offered to pour the juice as I piled everything on a platter and carried it to the table.

"Smells good down here," Charlie grunted as he made his way into the kitchen. He glanced down at the table and smirked.

Next to his plate was a crisp one hundred dollar bill.

I still didn't know what _that_ was all about.

After breakfast, I offered to clean the kitchen while my father and Edward found a football game on television. It was scary how comfortable they were around each other, but I was so thankful that they seemed to really get along with each other. Charlie was such a contrast to my hateful mother, and it was easy to see why their marriage hadn't survived. They had clearly married each other out of obligation to me, and that was the very last thing I wanted for my relationship with Edward. Not that we were talking marriage or anything remotely close to that, but still…

"You're very quiet today," Edward whispered in my ear as I finished washing the dishes.

"You keep sneaking up on me," I grinned over my shoulder. He pressed a kiss to my neck and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I'm sorry," he murmured against my ear. "It just dawned on me that I hadn't properly told you good morning."

I giggled and turned off the water before turning around in his arms. "Good morning."

"Good morning, Songbird." Edward lowered his head and gently brushed his lips against mine. "Thank you for breakfast."

"You're welcome," I grinned. "So what's with the hundred bucks?"

Edward laughed. "I'll tell you later. I think your father would like to spend some time with you without the boyfriend around, so I'm going to invent an excuse to drive into town."

I couldn't help but grin. "The boyfriend, huh?"

He laughed nervously before pressing his lips to my forehead. "Is that okay?"

"It's great," I murmured softly.

Edward's blazing eyes gazed into mine. "Really?"

"Really," I whispered.

Suddenly, the most beautiful smile stretched across his face. He looked so happy and boyish, and all I wanted to do was kiss him until I couldn't breathe. Unfortunately, my father chose that moment to decide to refill his coffee cup, effectively derailing my plans. Edward laughed lightly and kissed my nose before excusing himself and heading out the door.

"He seems like a good man," my father said, as he sat down at the kitchen table. "Kind of surprised at how fast you're moving, though."

I smiled sweetly at my father. "Right back at ya, Dad. I had no idea you and Sue Clearwater were such good friends. Wait until I tell her son."

My father's ears reddened. "I really am sorry about that. Bella. Time just…uh…got away from us, and…"

I laughed as I sat down at the table. "It's okay. I hope you're happy, Dad. You deserve it."

"So do you," he grinned. "I can't believe you're making me a grandpa. How do you feel about that?"

"It was a surprise," I admitted with a sigh. "But a happy one, I think."

"I hear your mother wasn't very supportive."

I grimaced as I played with the edge of the table mat. "Is she ever?"

He grunted in agreement. "Bells, when you were growing up, I always tried to say nice things about your mom…because she's your mother. But you're a grown woman now. You're getting ready to have a baby of your own, and I think it's important that you understand some things about your mom."

"Such as?"

Charlie took a long sip of his coffee before continuing. "She loved you. It was _me_ she hated. She blamed me for getting her pregnant. She blamed me for ruining her life. Her greatest fear in life was you having to give up your dreams because of an unplanned pregnancy."

"My situation is different," I countered. "I'm older. I've graduated college…"

"But you're still unmarried," Charlie reminded me.

"You know this is 2010," I snapped. "Women have babies all the time without getting married."

Charlie raised his hands. "I know, and trust me, the last thing I would want is for you and Edward is to rush into marriage just because you're pregnant. I'm just saying this situation is your mother's worst fear, and I'm not at all surprised by her reaction."

It made me sick that he was trying to defend her. "She wanted me to get an abortion. Did she tell you that?"

The furious expression on my father's face was all the answer I needed, and that was the end of the Renee discussion.

We spent the rest of the afternoon in the living room watching movies. It was a true testament to Charlie's love for me that he was willingly sitting through _The Notebook_. The movie made me miss Edward, and I cried like a baby when Noah and Allie died in each other's arms. In retaliation, I was forced to sit through some old Clint Eastwood western, but I did it gladly because my dad was awesome.

I fell asleep at some point, because my phone scared me awake as it vibrated in my pocket. I looked across the room and saw that Charlie was sound asleep in his chair. Groaning, I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and glanced at the message on my screen.

_Do you know how happy you make me?_

And just like that, I was bawling again.

I could blame the tears on my hormones, or the sappy movie, or the nice afternoon with my father. I could even blame it on the great weekend or the fact that we had my father's support. But I knew – deep in my heart – that I was really crying because I was so happy, and the reason I was so happy was pulling into the driveway.

I raced through the kitchen and flung open the door just as Edward was making his way up the steps. His eyes widened when she saw me.

"Bella?"

Without a word, I leapt into his arms and buried my face in his neck. I felt his arms encircle me as he carried me over to the table. He sat down in a seat and gathered me in his lap, holding me close.

"Baby, what is it?"

I wiped away my tears and gazed into his handsome face. There was so much I wanted to say to him, but I wasn't sure that I was brave enough to say the words. Instead, I ran my hand through his hair and caressed his cheek.

"You make me happy, too," I whispered softly.

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**As always, I love to hear what you think. :)**


	13. An Object to Crave

**AN: Chapter song comes from "Uninvited" by Alanis Morissette.**

**Good news to share. I'll save it for the bottom!**

Chapter 13

_An Object to Crave_

***EPOV***

I had heard about crazy pregnancy hormones. Mom had even warned me that as time passed, Bella's mood swings would fluctuate between euphoric happiness to heartbreaking melancholy within the blink of an eye for no apparent reason. I thought I was prepared; I really thought I could handle it.

I was wrong.

Nothing could have prepared me for the welcome I received when I walked through Charlie's door. She was clinging to me, her eyes wide and brimming with tears, and my first instinct was to kill whoever put that heartbroken look on her face. Imagine my surprise when I found out that it was _my _fault – all because I sent her a sappy text message, asking if she had any idea how happy she made me. Somehow, Charlie slept through the entire emotional breakdown, which was probably a good thing considering I was now kissing the shit out of his daughter right here at this kitchen table.

"I didn't mean to make you cry, baby," I whispered softly against her lips. "I just wanted you to know."

Bella sniffled softly, and her face broke into a sweet smile. "I don't know why I'm crying."

"It's those pregnancy hormones surging through your body," I teased as I lightly kissed her nose. "My mother warned me about them."

"Oh yeah?" Bella grinned as she shifted her position and turned around in my lap, causing me to groan softly.

"You fight dirty," I growled quietly.

"I could be _very_ dirty," Bella whispered mischievously, "but somebody's a worry wart."

"Anyway, what did your mom say?"

"Oh, she was full of information," I grinned as I tightened my arms around her. "She said you could be happy one minute and crying the next…." Bella giggled as I kissed the corner of her mouth. "She also mentioned that, once the morning sickness passed, pregnant women tend to be pretty horny."

Bella eyes widened as she looked behind her shoulder. We were safe – Charlie's snores could be heard shaking the rafters.

"Your mother actually said that?"

"She did," I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively. "She said I would be a _very_ happy man when that day arrived."

Bella rolled her eyes. "You _could_ be a very happy man, but you keep saying no."

I sighed. "Songbird, I couldn't live with myself if I hurt you or the baby."

"I know," Bella murmured as she pressed a kiss to my cheek, "and I understand why. I really do. But I think you're worrying for nothing."

"Maybe," I whispered softly. "I just can't take the chance, baby. Maybe by the time we get back into Seattle, your doctor will be back from vacation."

Bella giggled. "And then you'll stop making me suffer?"

She really was adorable, and she was still shifting in my lap. The girl was going to be the death of me.

"I promise, now please stop wiggling," I groaned quietly.

She grinned but thankfully stilled her movements against my lap. "So where have you been all afternoon?"

"I just drove around," I shrugged. "There's really not that much to see."

"That's true," Bella giggled. "I saved you some lunch. Would you like some?"

"I'd love some," I murmured with a smile. She jumped off my lap, and I couldn't resist smacking her cute ass before she headed to the fridge.

Forks was a quaint little town with nothing more than a few locally-owned stores and restaurants. It had been hard to find enough places to occupy me for an entire afternoon, but I knew how rarely Bella made it home and I wanted to give them some time to catch-up without my intrusion. During my very short journey through downtown Forks I had managed to find this little jewelry store. It was owned by a grandmotherly looking woman by the name of Shelly Cope who flirted and batted her seventy year old eyelashes until I felt compelled to buy something. Like most jewelry stores, the prices were ridiculously jacked up, but she was a sweet old lady and she convinced me that a pretty piece of jewelry was "sure to put a smile on the face of the girl I loved."

Unfortunately, I was certain that the pretty piece of jewelry would just make her cry, so it was staying in my pocket for now.

After Charlie awoke from his nap, the three of us took a drive down to LaPush, a Quileute reservation with some of the prettiest beaches I'd ever seen. Once we finished sightseeing, Charlie drove us to the home of Sue Clearwater, who I found out was the mother of Bella's photographer friend, Seth. She invited us to stay for dinner and we accepted, and Charlie and I were banished to the living room while Sue and Bella happily cooked in the kitchen. While the situation could have been awkward for both women, Charlie and I could hear the sounds of their laughter streaming over the television. I noticed when he exhaled a relieved sigh, and I bit my cheek to keep from laughing.

Later that night, while we were lying in her bed, I asked Bella what the two of them had been laughing about.

"Sue has a tattoo on the small of her back," Bella giggled in the darkness. "I was telling her that I'd never again be able to look at a butterfly and not think of her."

The next morning, Bella made a big breakfast and we enjoyed our last few hours with Charlie. Watching them interact was fascinating. They were both opinionated and stubborn, but it was easy to see how much they adored each other. I found myself thanking God that Bella was just like her father because the alternative was just unthinkable.

"It was nice to meet you, Edward," Charlie smiled at me as I made my way downstairs with the last of our luggage.

"You too," I smiled as I extended my hand. His grasp was serious and firm – in a _'hurt my daughter and I'll hurt you_' sort of way.

Message received, Chief.

***BPOV***

"You look happy," Jake smirked as I made my way downstairs into the newsroom.

"I am happy," I smiled as I walked to my desk and turned on my computer. Jake was right on my heels, wanting the scoop.

"So, I take it your father didn't shoot him…" Jake grinned as he leaned against my desk.

"My father was awesome," I replied. "He absolutely loved Edward."

"Seth says you got quite a welcoming," Jake snickered as I began to check my email. I had sent a text to Seth to let him that our parents were hooking up. Apparently, I had been the last to know because he hadn't seemed at all surprised or embarrassed to learn this information.

"It was appalling," I groaned. I would like to think that I was a pretty liberal chick, but seeing my father being straddled by a woman isn't something I was likely to forget. "Nice tat, though. Makes me want one."

"Seth volunteered to go with you today," Jake muttered. "He thinks James Miller is hot."

"I don't think James is gay," I mumbled as I printed out my interview questions. "You have absolutely nothing to worry about."

"I know," Jake nodded, "but still, it sucks knowing that other people can get in his head. How would you feel if Edward found another woman attractive?"

"I would assume he had a pulse," I shrugged as I checked the batteries of my recorder. "I'm sure he finds many other women attractive."

"That doesn't bother you?"

"Edward and I are still getting to know each other," I explained softly. "If he flirted with someone right in front of my face, then sure, that'd probably piss me off. But I'm sure he finds other women attractive. He's a man, Jake. I mean, I find other guys attractive. What's the difference?"

"I guess there isn't one," Jake decided. "Or maybe I'm just a jealous prick."

Smiling, I turned off my laptop and grabbed my bag. "You have nothing to be jealous of, Jake. Seth is devoted to you."

"I guess so," Jake shrugged, but I could tell that something was eating at him. Unfortunately, I was running late, so I kissed him on the cheek and told him I'd call him after the interview.

The campaign headquarters of James Miller was decorated with red, white, and blue streamers. It was _just_ cliché enough to make me roll my eyes, but I tried to remain professional as Seth and I were led to his office. His campaign manager, a fiery redhead by the name of Victoria Simmons, reminded us not to ask personal questions. Mr. Miller had a penchant for young, leggy, fair-skinned girlfriends, and I was certain this Victoria was his latest conquest. The eyes they made at each other when we walked through his office door only confirmed my suspicions. He was attractive, I supposed. Thanks to my research and his press kit, I knew that he was a thirty-two year old real estate developer who had been born and raised in Seattle. He'd never been married and had no children. The rest of the information from the kit was sadly typical of the propaganda you see during an election campaign. He promised to bring jobs to the city, increase educational funding, and ramp-up the police force – and he was going to do it all without raising taxes.

Yeah right.

"James, this is Bella Swan from the _Times_," Victoria announced crisply. I extended my hand and gave him my best, professional smile. His eyes ghosted over me, and I immediately felt uncomfortable.

"Thank you for making time for us, Mr. Miller," I replied as I pulled my hand away. "This is my photographer, Seth Clearwater."

Mr. Miller's eyes never left my face, his piercing blue eyes raking over me. Victoria cleared her throat, effectively breaking the spell.

"Please call me James," his voice murmured. "Won't you have a seat?"

I thanked him and promptly set up my recorder. "I prefer to record, if that's alright with you."

"Of course," James smiled. I'm sure he meant the smile to be warm and friendly, but I could feel the intensity behind it as his eyes burned into mine, and I decided to try to ignore his gaze and just ask the damn questions. Victoria offered to give Seth a tour of the headquarters, but my friend either detected my discomfort or noticed the look on James's face, because he refused the offer and swiftly sat down in the chair next to me.

The interview took about twenty minutes, and James's answers were well-rehearsed and articulate. He was like most politicians and answered his questions in a non-committal way, just so that his responses didn't come back to bite him in the ass, on the off-chance he was elected to the mayoral office.

"A few pictures?" Victoria asked at the conclusion of the interview, and James nodded as he rearranged some files on his desk in an attempt to make it look neater, I supposed. I stepped back and let Seth do this thing, dropping everything down into my bag as I waited for him to finish up.

"Would you like a quick tour of our offices?" James asked as Seth and I made our way to the door. I felt James's hand on the small of back, and I resisted the urge to cringe.

"We've taken enough of your time," I smiled. His eyes widened as he took in my smile, and I noticed him lick his lips.

"When should we expect to see your feature?" Victoria asked crossly, and I could tell she wasn't a bit happy with the attention I was being shown.

_That makes two of us._

"In Friday's edition," I explained. "He'll be included with the rest of the candidates in our special election coverage."

"I look forward to reading it," James murmured, his eyes burning as he looked down at my legs.

_Note to self: No more skirts._

"Once again, thank you for your time," I said, and I felt Seth grab my elbow and usher me out the door. I heard Victoria's shrill voice laying into James before she slammed the door.

"Holy shit, he's a creepy bastard," Seth mumbled as we made our way to the elevator.

I nodded as we made our way out into the cool Seattle air as we made the short walk back to the office. "Thankfully, I'll never have to see him again."

"I wouldn't count on that," Seth complained. "He's leading in the polls. He may just be our fair city's next mayor."

"I'm not voting for him," I said, crinkling my nose. "That man is slime."

"I wouldn't tell Edward," Seth smirked. "If anyone looked at my man the way he just looked at you…"

"You'd be jealous?" I asked, remembering my earlier conversation with Jake.

"I'd be pissed," Seth replied. "And yeah, probably a little jealous."

I smiled. "I think you should tell that to Jake."

I said nothing else as I offered to buy him a quick lunch. We stopped at the sub shop and quickly placed our orders. For some reason – out of all of the condiments on the counter – I could distinctly smell the mustard. Instead of making me sick, I found that the aroma was mouth-watering, and I asked for extra mustard on my sandwich and – for the first time in my life - banana peppers.

_Stupid cravings._

"Wow," Seth muttered as he took a sniff. "That sandwich will clean out your sinuses."

I was starving by the time I made it to my desk, so the very first thing I did was eat my sandwich.

"What's that smell?" Jake asked as he peeked over my cubicle.

"Turkey with mustard and banana peppers," I grinned happily. Jake rolled his eyes and mumbled something about crazy cravings as I continued devouring my lunch. Moments later, I heard my name being called from the entrance of the news room. I quickly wiped my mouth and glanced over the partition. Standing there was a teenage boy holding a vase of wildflowers. Jake shot me a glance, and I shrugged as I waved the boy over to my desk. He wasn't Edward's usual delivery guy, and these weren't Edward's usual assortment of flowers.

"Thanks," I said to the guy as he placed the vases on my desk. I peered closely at the card, and I felt my stomach lurch.

_**Looking forward to reading your interview. Perhaps next time we can talk about you. Dinner on Friday? **_

_**~James**_

_Shit._

Something told me that I was really going to regret those banana peppers.

* * *

I was still pondering the invitation later that afternoon while I was sitting on the couch pretending to watch the news. Edward was down in the floor with his back pressed against the sofa as he checked his email. My fingers wandered aimlessly through his hair as I tried to come to terms with the fact that a prominent mayoral candidate had flirted with me today and within half an hour had sent me flowers and asked me to dinner. I wasn't considering the invitation. Not at all. What I was trying to decide was if any of today's information was important enough to share with Edward. Would he laugh it off? Would he be jealous? Would he be pissed? Jake was pretty sure he'd be pissed, and if that was the case, then it was probably best that I didn't tell him. Seth disagreed, explaining that the truth always comes out eventually, so it was best I just tell Edward the whole truth from the very start.

"How was your interview?" Edward asked as his fingers typed on the keyboard. "Is James Miller still a jerk?"

"Yes," I muttered.

He immediately stopped typing and turned toward me. "What happened?"

_How did he know?_

"Umm…" I hedged. "He was just really arrogant and avoided any potential controversy with his answers."

Edward eyed me carefully. "Is that all? I've met him at a few functions, and he can have a problem with keeping his hands to himself."

I grinned, because not so long ago, the same could be said for the man currently sharing my bed at night. "You know what they say about you bachelors."

"Completely different," he explained. "I was at least nice to the women I slept with. James was a bastard."

I bit my lip nervously as he continued sorting through his inbox.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you the jealous type?"

Edward stopped typing and promptly closed his laptop. He sat it on the coffee table before rising from the floor and making his way to the couch. He wrapped an arm around me and I snuggled against his shoulder.

"I never have been," Edward murmured. "Of course, I've never really been in a real relationship where I actually cared enough to _be_ jealous, so I can't say for sure."

So he doesn't know. Should I chance it and find out?

"Let's say – hypothetically – that someone hit on me. Would that bother you?"

Edward's eyes darkened. "Did James Miller hit on you?"

"This is hypothetical…"

_For now, anyway._

Edward sighed as he pressed his lips to my forehead. "You're an incredibly beautiful woman. I wouldn't like it, but I can't say that I'd be surprised if it happened."

I nodded, not because I agreed with him that I was beautiful, but because that's exactly how I felt about him. In my eyes, he was the most handsome man on the planet, so it was only natural that other women would see him the same way.

"As long as you're not uncomfortable with the attention, and as long as no one crosses the line, then I suppose I can live with it."

"You suppose?" I teased, and he tickled my ribs, causing me to yelp loudly. Suddenly, our faces were very close together, and he stopped tickling as he stared into my eyes.

"I don't want anyone looking at you that way," Edward whispered softly. "But I'm too pretty to go to prison, so it's probably not a good idea for me to kill every man on the planet."

I grinned. "Who would help me raise this baby?"

"Exactly," he murmured with a smile as he laced his fingers with mine. "However, if someone ever makes you feel uncomfortable, I want you to tell me. I won't let anyone hurt you, Bella."

I gazed up at his face, and his eyes were burning with emotion as I slipped my hand around his neck and pulled his lips to mine.

"Gag, baby," Edward groaned as he pulled away. "Since when do you eat banana peppers?"

_Oops. I probably should have brushed my teeth after lunch._

"Seth and I grabbed a sandwich for lunch, and your child just _demanded_ them," I explained with a grin. "They were delicious! Your baby was very happy."

"I want to keep both of my babies happy," Edward whispered softly. He pressed his forehead to mine, and I sighed softly.

"We _are_ happy," I promised him as I stroked his cheek. "Blissfully and completely happy…except for one _tiny_, little thing…"

His face grew serious. "What tiny little thing?"

"You'll figure it out," I winked. I quickly kissed him before leaping off the couch to go brush my teeth.

* * *

The next morning, I was awakened by the feel of soft, wet lips placing tender kisses against the back of my neck. I moaned softly as warm hands found their way beneath my shirt. He trailed kisses along my neck, stopping at my earlobe and giving it a gentle tug with his teeth.

"Edward…" I panted breathlessly. "What…"

"Shh," he whispered against my ear, and I whimpered when his tongue flicked across the shell of my ear and his hand dipped lower. "I'm taking care of my baby."

_He figured it out._

But I didn't want him this way! I wanted…

"Oh God…" I moaned as his fingers dipped lower.

"I want to touch you, too," I whispered urgently. His mouth latched onto my neck once again as his finger continued its torturous exploration. I reached back and grabbed onto his hip, pulling him closer against me as I wiggled my bottom against him.

"What you're doing is perfect," Edward murmured huskily in my ear. Do you know how much I want you?"

He didn't have the chance to finish his naughty train of thought before I exploded.

He grunted against my ear and buried his face in my shoulder as he found his own release.

We lay panting in each other's arms as Edward gently brushed his lips up and down my shoulder.

"How's my baby now?"

I smiled lazily as I turned around in his arms. He brushed his nose against mine before kissing me gently on the lips.

"Your baby is just perfect," I sighed happily as I snuggled against his chest.

"Yes, you are."

He quickly leapt out of bed, and after a quick trip to the bathroom and a change of pajama bottoms, he snuggled back under the covers with me. We must have fallen back to sleep because - not long after that - a loud banging on the door sent us both jumping out of bed.

"I'll go, I'm…partially dressed," I grumbled as I looked down at my bare legs.

"Put on some jeans," Edward groaned as he slapped at the alarm that decided to go off right at that moment. I struggled into my jeans as the pounding on the door continued.

"I'm coming!" I yelled as I ran through the living room. I didn't even bother peeking before I swiftly pulled the door open.

"Good morning, Miss Swan."

It was the flower delivery boy from yesterday, and he was holding a monstrosity of a vase – this time, overflowing with pale pink roses.

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

"It's seven in the morning!" I growled. "Why the hell are you beating on my door at this hour?"

"Just following orders, Miss Swan," he explained.

"I don't want them. Do not deliver any more flowers to me. Do you understand?"

"You will have to discuss that with Mr. Miller," the boy said nonchalantly. "I'm just the delivery boy."

"Take them back," I declared emphatically, looking over my shoulder. Edward was rubbing his face as he made his way through the living room. I inhaled a sharp breath as his eyes took in the large arrangement of flowers in the boy's hands.

"Miss Swan, I can't take them back," the guy said softly. "I'll get fired."

"I don't want them."

Edward leaned against the open door and stared dubiously at the flowers before extending his hand to the delivery guy. The boy promptly handed off the vase before running back toward the elevator. Edward turned, taking the flowers to the living room and placing them on the coffee table. I kicked the door shut and counted to one hundred before turning to face him. His face was grim as he examined the card he was holding in his hand. I walked toward him and gently slipped the card out of his hand, and I couldn't help but groan as I read the handwritten note.

_**Hope you enjoyed the flowers I sent yesterday. I look forward to seeing you at dinner on Friday.**_

_**~James**_

I lifted my face toward his, and I inhaled a sharp breath as his blazing eyes gazed into mine.

"Edward…"

"I was wrong," he whispered.

My eyes tightened with confusion. "Wrong?"

"I am most definitely the jealous type."


	14. Every Breath You Take

**AN: I had two readers tell me how much they loved turkey, mustard, and banana pepper sandwiches! lol**

**Edward mentions the LSATs in this chapter. Just in case you are unaware, that's the acronym for the Law School Admissions Test.**

**Chapter song is from The Police.**

* * *

**Chapter 14**

_**Every Breath You Take**_

* * *

**EPOV**

I had been jealous a few times in my life. I was envious when Jasper scored two points higher than me on the LSATs. When I was nine years old, I had been resentful when we'd found a stray dog and the mutt preferred Emmett to me. And I was always pissy on the rare occasion I lost a court case.

None of those situations compared to the intense fury I was feeling right now. It was unnerving, and I didn't understand it at all. I was flooded with this powerful, Neanderthal urge to find James Miller and punch him in the face for even _thinking_ that he might have a chance with my girl.

That's right. She's my girl.

Mine.

"Edward," she whispered gently, as if she was talking to wild, caged animal. Which was ironic, because that's exactly how I felt.

"Edward, look at me," Bella tried again as she pried my fingers loose from my hair. I'd been painfully tugging at the ends, but I hadn't felt a thing. Apparently, a blind, jealous rage overrides all other emotions and feelings. I allowed her to push me onto the couch and she climbed into my lap. Taking my hands, she placed them on each side of her face. She framed my face with her own hands, forcing me to look into her beautiful brown eyes. Under the intensity of her stare, I felt my rage begin to ebb. She must have felt the tension leaving my body, because her body relaxed against mine.

"Better?" Bella whispered softly.

I nodded slowly, not trusting myself to speak.

"So I guess you _are_ the jealous type," Bella murmured with a sigh. "I was afraid you would be."

Suddenly, it was all clear. _This_ was why she'd asked me just last night if I was a jealous man.

"Tell me," I whispered roughly.

Bella sighed as she caressed my face with her fingers. "James Miller is a sleazy bastard who kept staring at me yesterday as if I was something to eat. Seth even noticed it, and he refused to leave me alone with the man. He didn't make any verbal advances, and he didn't touch me. But he stared…_a lot_…and his eyes were just creepy. I tried to ignore the looks long enough to finish the interview. An hour later, flowers were delivered to me at work. They were from James, and on the card, he invited me to dinner on Friday. I gave the flowers to our sixty-year-old volunteer receptionist."

"Where's the card?" I asked quietly.

"In my office desk."

My forehead creased. "Why did you keep it?"

"I'm a reporter," Bella explained softly. "I keep everything, especially something that could be considered incriminating evidence in a sexual harassment suit against our new mayor, if the situation ever arises."

"It won't get that far," I murmured as I glanced at the flowers. "I'll kill him first."

Bella smiled. "We've discussed this. You're too pretty for jail, remember?"

"I don't care."

"Edward, he didn't _do_ anything," Bella explained calmly. "He didn't touch me. He's sent me two vases of flowers and is a persistent bastard, but really, he's done nothing wrong. I thought ignoring the card would be sufficient, but apparently not. I will send him a message to thank him for the flowers and to decline the dinner invitation. Problem solved."

She sounded so convinced, as if a mere message would put an end to his perseverance.

It wouldn't have stopped _me_.

I could remember the first night we met, and how I'd debated approaching her at the piano. As soon as she started singing, my internal battle ended as quickly as it had begun. From that moment, I was determined to get her into bed. If she had refused, I would have persisted mercilessly until she'd finally given me what I wanted. I didn't know James Miller very well, but I knew his type. I used to _be _his type. Of course he'd be attracted to Bella. Of course he'd want her. She was intelligent, enchanting, and beautiful.

No, a message wouldn't be nearly enough to deter him.

"I have to get ready for work," Bella whispered softly.

"Me too," I nodded. "Listen, I don't want you to see him, okay? Send him an email, call him, whatever…but do not talk to this man in person."

"Edward…"

"No," I murmured gently, immediately regretting the word and bracing myself for the fight that was sure to come.

"What do you mean _no_?"

"I meant _please don't_," I recovered quickly. "Please don't talk to James in person. I am apparently a jealous man. If he laid a finger on you, I'd have to break his hand, and I'm pretty sure he'd press charges."

"You have no reason to be jealous," Bella whispered gently as she leaned closer to me, pressing her lips against mine. "I'm all yours."

"All mine," I murmured as our lips gently teased each other. I closed my eyes and let her sweet touch consume me, taming the jealous beast who had made such an unexpected appearance in an otherwise incredible morning.

"I won't lie," Bella teased as her lips made a path to my earlobe. I grabbed her hips and pulled her tight against mine as she nipped at the skin, causing me to groan. "You're really sexy when you're jealous. I knew you were crazy about me."

I opened my eyes and tilted my face toward hers, my hand cupping along the side of her cheek. "You have _no_ idea how crazy I am about you."

Her eyes searched mine, and she sighed softly, pressing her forehead against mine. "I'm crazy about you, too. I think about you all the time."

I smiled widely. "I think about you all the time, too. What do you think about?"

"I think about the future," Bella admitted quietly.

"So do I."

"You do?"

"Of course," I whispered against her cheek. "Speaking of which, I have something for you."

She shifted onto the couch, and I raced toward the bedroom, digging in my jacket for the box tucked securely inside the pocket. I rushed back into the living room, and Bella's eyes widened when she saw the Cope's Jewelry logo on the box.

"Oh my…" Bella smirked as I pulled her into my lap once again. "I bet Shelly Cope had dollar signs in her eyes when you walked into that overpriced store."

"Just open it," I murmured. Bella took a deep breath and lifted the lid. She gasped softly as her fingers drifted along the aquamarine stones of the sterling silver bracelet.

"It's the baby's birthstone," I whispered in explanation. "I know you don't wear a lot of jewelry, but this is small, and I just wanted to give you something to show you how much you mean to me…and something that symbolizes our future."

"It's so pretty," Bella whispered, tears filling her eyes. "It's too much, Edward…"

"It's not nearly enough," I replied as I brushed my lips against her forehead. How could a tiny, overpriced piece of jewelry adequately describe just how much she meant to me? I gently removed the bracelet from its box and fastened it to her wrist.

"You're different," Bella replied softly as she gazed down at the sparkling bracelet. "That first weekend we were together, you were so intense. I never would have dreamed that the man I met that weekend could be this sweet and romantic."

I pulled her against my chest and tucked my chin against her head as I cradled her close. "You've made me this way, baby."

Bella sniffled quietly before tilting her face to mine. "I don't believe that. I think you've been this way all along."

"Maybe," I conceded as I grinned down at her. "Maybe I was just waiting for you." I kissed her softly, and she smiled.

"So, you'll let me handle James?"

"Send your message," I sighed, but I knew that wouldn't be the last she heard from him. "But I want to know everything that happens. Any small, inconsequential contact he makes with you…I want to know about it. Understand?"

"This will be the end of it," Bella replied, "but yes, if he contacts me again, I will let you know."

"Good," I whispered softly as I traced my finger along her cheek. "See, we _can_ compromise."

"I think we should compromise one more time before we leave for work," Bella grinned as she climbed off my lap and pulled me by the hand until I was standing beside of her.

"Oh?"

"Yes, I think you should shower with me," Bella winked, and she giggled as I chased her into the bathroom.

* * *

**BPOV**

After a busy morning in the newsroom, I was ready to escape for lunch. That turkey, mustard, and banana pepper sandwich was so good yesterday that I decided to have another. I found a bench in a quiet corner of my favorite park, and watched the ducks on the water, as I devoured my sandwich and thought about my morning.

I had spent the morning finishing the feature on James, and it was now awaiting Harry's approval. As soon as it was finished, I crafted a very simple note to James, thanking him for the flowers and declining his dinner invitation. Seth offered to take the note to his campaign headquarters, and I let him – keeping my promise to Edward that I wouldn't speak to James in person. It seemed important to him, and while I didn't really understand why, I could appreciate the fact that he was trying to control his jealous tendencies and let me handle this situation myself, so I was glad to compromise. Besides, I wasn't really interested in having to face James again, and I made a mental note to vote against him on Election Day, just so that I would never have to face him again. Otherwise, I might have to endure some awkward press conferences in the near future – a fact that would do nothing to soothe Edward's jealous nature.

As I checked my messages on my phone, I couldn't help but notice the sun reflecting off my aquamarine bracelet. It was so simple and pretty – something I would totally have picked out for myself. I was never one to wear a lot of jewelry, but this was a beautiful gift from Edward and a visual reminder of the little person growing inside of me. Edward and I were still learning little things about each other, but I was constantly surprised at the differences I saw in him since our first encounter. Never in a million years could I have predicted the man that I would find behind the mask, and I was sure that I was falling in love with him.

No. Not falling.

I _am_ in love with him.

I had never been in love before, but there was no doubt that what I felt for him was love. He made me happier than I've ever been. When I'm around him, I feel worshipped and adored. This bracelet was just another example of his tender side, and I loved discovering that side of him. Because of his grief, he'd hidden that part of him, and it was such a shame because he was truly the sweetest man I'd ever met. While his protective tendencies drove me crazy, I found myself being more tolerant of them since he'd told me about his sister. I was learning that his overprotection wasn't an attempt to control me. It was his way of protecting me, and he was protecting me because he cared.

Did he love me? I didn't know. There were times when he'd hold me and it certainly felt like he loved me. There had been times when he'd looked in my eyes and I could literally feel the love radiating from them. But until he said the words, I really couldn't be sure.

Suddenly, I felt someone's eyes on me, and I quickly glanced around the park looking for any familiar face. There was a runner and a lady walking her dog, but other than that, the park was deserted.

"Your mommy is losing her mind," I whispered as I placed my hand over my tummy. It was still too early to feel a baby bump, but I'd found myself touching my stomach a lot lately. I smiled as I lightly ghosted my finger along the gemstones of my silver bracelet.

"Your daddy is a sweetheart," I whispered to the baby. "I can't wait for you to meet him, and I can't wait for him to meet you."

It was such a mild day that I decided to walk back to the office. Once again, I felt my skin prickle as if someone was walking behind me, but when I turned around, no one was there.

"I'm losing it," I muttered. Feeling anxious, I decided to use my Baby Daddy as a distraction. I prayed that he wasn't with a client just as I hit send.

"I was just thinking about you," Edward offered in greeting.

I smiled as I took the crosswalk that led across the street. "Oh yeah? What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that I'd love to take you to lunch."

"Oh, I just ate. I'm headed back to the office now."

"Did our child demand another one of those rancid banana pepper sandwiches?" Edward asked with a chuckle. "If so, I'm afraid I'm going to have to require that you brush your teeth before I kiss you."

"Our child did demand it, and it was delicious," I smiled. "But I assure you that my mouth will be minty fresh when you get home."

"I'd kiss you anyway," Edward murmured softly.

"I know you would," I grinned. "I'm that irresistible."

"You _are _irresistible," he muttered. "Speaking of, have you heard anything from your doctor?"

I grinned as I made my way up the steps of the _Times_. "Now who's eager, Mr. Cullen?"

"I've _always _been eager," Edward chuckled lightly.

I waved at the receptionist, and I shivered when I saw James's wildflower bouquet displayed proudly at her desk.

"No, I haven't heard from him," I whispered shakily. "But I'll give him a call when I get into the office."

"What's wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your voice changed," Edward murmured softly.

It was frightening how well he could detect my mood, even through the phone lines.

"You really need to relax," I muttered.

Edward sighed. "I know. I just worry about you. I don't like it when you're so far away from me."

His words thrilled me, but I managed to downplay them with a giggle. "Edward, I'm just across town."

"That's too far," he replied softly. "A mile is too far. An inch is too far…"

"I get it," I laughed. He offered to bring dinner home from our favorite pizza place, and we said goodbye just as Seth made his way over to my desk.

"How did it go?" I whispered.

"Message delivered," he announced quietly.

I exhaled a relieved sigh. "Thanks, Seth."

* * *

"Good article, Bella," Harry complemented me. "I'd like for you to cover the debate tomorrow night. You and Seth seem to work well together, so take him with you."

I nodded excitedly. "Awesome, thanks Harry."

"One thing," Harry cautioned me. "Be sure not to let your personal opinion affect your writing. You aren't writing editorials."

"I don't know what you mean," I admitted with a frown.

"It was subtle," Harry commented, "but I could tell that you weren't really impressed with James Miller. Now, I don't care why, all I ask is that you remain neutral when it comes to reporting the news."

I thought I _had_ been neutral when writing the feature, but apparently my disdain for the man managed to seep into my writing.

"Do I need to edit?"

"Nah," Harry replied as he checked his Blackberry. "Like I said, it was subtle. Just be careful."

"I will," I promised him. Harry was giving me the chance to cover actual news, and the last thing I wanted to do was screw it up.

"Oh, Harry," I muttered hesitantly. "I was thinking that I should probably tell you that I'm… umm…"

"Pregnant. Yeah, I know." Harry chuckled as he tapped furiously on his computer. "The whole damn office knows after that revolting sandwich you brought in here yesterday. Black was muttering about _freakish pregnancy cravings_, so yeah…"

I thanked Harry and hastily made my way back toward my desk. I just didn't get it. The sandwiches absolutely made my mouth water, so I couldn't understand why they smelled so horrible to everyone else. I was still pondering this dilemma when my cell phone vibrated on my desk.

"Bella Swan," I muttered.

"Miss Swan, this is Dr. Molina's office returning your call. He can see you tomorrow at eleven. Is that time good for you?"

I excitedly checked my calendar. "That time is great. Thank you so much."

With a huge smile on my face, I quickly sent Edward a text.

_Clear your schedule. We have a date with Dr. Molina at eleven tomorrow morning._

**Hell yes! I'll clear the whole day, just in case he tells me what I want to hear.**

I couldn't stop giggling. I was _such _a girl.

_I can't clear my entire day. I have to cover the debate tomorrow night._

**The mayoral debate?**

Shit. I hadn't even considered the fact that I'd have to face James. I braced myself for the shit storm.

_Yes._

**I'm going with you.**

_Seth is going with me._

**Great. He can ride with us.**

I sighed softly as I contemplated how to handle this. The debate would be crowded with spectators and journalists, so the chances of James cornering me were slim. This was work. Edward was just going to have to ignore his caveman tendencies for one night and let me do my job.

I was poised to type all of that out just as my phone vibrated.

**Don't even try to think of possible ways to talk me out of this. You are not going without me. End of discussion.**

What the hell? End of discussion? Was he serious? He is **not **my father!

I didn't even bother with a reply. With a furious huff, I glared at the screen and turned off my phone.

* * *

I was prepared for a fight when I walked through my apartment door later that evening. Instead, I found Edward sitting on the couch, looking forlorn and lost as he gazed at a bouquet of orange tiger lilies that sat prominently on the coffee table.

"What the hell are those?" I asked as I dropped my bag onto the floor.

Edward's eyes ghosted to me. "Did you have lunch with James Miller today?"

"What?" I asked, incredulous. "Of course not! Why would you even ask me something like that?"

Edward nodded soberly. "Believe it or not, I was hoping the answer was yes."

"I'm confused," I muttered as I made my way over the couch. I sat down next to him and chanced at glance at the flowers.

"Did you _see_ James today?" Edward asked quietly.

"I promised you that I wouldn't see him, and I didn't," I sighed. "Apparently, my note failed to do its job."

Edward reached toward the flowers and lifted the card out of the bouquet. His face was ashen as he handed it to me.

_**You looked lovely today. I love banana peppers, too.**_

_**~James**_

* * *

**A picture of the bracelet can be found on my profile. Just follow the images link and click on "Songbird."**

**As always, I love to hear your thoughts. Next update – next weekend.**


	15. I Never Thought There'd Be You

**AN: Hello sweet readers. Thanks to snarkerella for her mad beta skills.**

**Chapter song comes from Amy Lee's "You." If you want to hear the song, or any of the songs I use for chapter inspiration, please check out my profile for the link to my Songbird playlist.**

* * *

Chapter 15

_I Never Thought There'd Be You_

BPOV

I had no idea how long I sat staring at the vibrant tiger lilies that were prominently displayed on my coffee table. After I told Edward that I'd felt as if I'd been followed today, he had immediately grabbed his cell phone. He paced the living room while talking to _someone_, barking orders and speaking in hushed tones. Every few minutes he would stop his frenzied pacing and come to my side. He'd squeeze my hand, or kiss my head, or cup my cheek…all in an attempt to console me. I had gone through a myriad of emotions, but after a while, I had finally settled on one overriding feeling.

Fear.

But I wasn't afraid for me.

My hand ghosted over my stomach as I silently promised my baby that I would keep him or her safe. I'd never felt such an intense, protective, intuition. I idly wondered why it was so overpowering for me this early in my pregnancy, when my own mother seemed to lack that same mothering instinct in her chemical makeup. It was so consuming…so overwhelming…this instinctual desire to protect my child from harm.

I would do whatever it took to protect my child.

Edward dropped to his knees in front of me as he spoke in a quiet whisper to someone on the other line. His burning emerald eyes locked with mine, and he reached up to wipe a stray tear away from my cheek. He closed his eyes as he flipped the phone shut, and I watched as he leaned close to my tummy. I felt his trembling fingers lift the hem of my shirt, and I lovingly stroked his hair as he lowered his head and placed a soft kiss on my stomach.

"I will protect both of you," Edward whispered against my skin.

"I know you will." I smiled through my tears as I gazed down at him. If there was any doubt that I was in love this man, this moment just cemented it.

A knock on the door made me jump.

"It's just Emmett," Edward said as he leapt from the floor and rushed over to the door. But it wasn't _just_ Emmett. Walking in behind him was a man that had to be close to Emmett's immense size but slightly broader in the shoulders. He had to duck his head to keep from hitting it against the top of my door frame. I watched the guys shake hands before they all turned their attention to me.

"Bella, this is Felix. He's a former Navy SEAL, and now works in personal security."

The towering man nodded at me and extended his hand. "Miss Swan, it's nice to meet you."

"Please call me Bella," I murmured. I was a bit afraid to actually put my small hand in his, but his grip was surprisingly gentle.

"Bella," Emmett said as he pulled me into his massive arms and hugged me tight. "I don't want you to worry. We are going to take care of you."

My forehead creased as I pulled out of his embrace. "What do you mean?"

"I've hired Emmett and Felix for your protection," Edward explained. "One of them will be with you every time you leave the apartment."

"But you're a cop," I said to Emmett. "Don't you have to work?"

Emmett nodded. "When I'm at work, Felix will be your bodyguard."

My eyes flickered to Edward, and he slowly walked over to me, looking as if he was steeling himself for my fury.

"Please don't fight me on this, Bella," Edward said as he cupped the back of my neck and brushed his lips against my ear. "James Miller is either following you or having you watched. I cannot leave you unprotected, not for a second. Please don't fight me – not on this. Let me take care of you."

The independent woman in me – the one who was always ready to roar that she could take care of herself – was being overshadowed by that all-encompassing mothering instinct inside of me, desperate to protect her unborn baby. I had no reason to believe that James could be violent, but Edward was right. I was being followed, which meant my baby was also being watched. That alone was enough to convince me not to argue with him.

"Okay," I whispered, and he exhaled a relieved sigh as he leaned down and softly kissed me. I then watched as he unceremoniously made his way over to the orange tiger lilies and then carried them to the trash.

* * *

Dr. Molina's office was freezing as usual, and Edward wrapped his arms around me in an attempt to keep me warm. I sat calmly at his side as Edward quizzed the doctor on everything from my weird banana pepper cravings to my slightly elevated blood pressure.

"But that can't be good, right?" Edward asked the doctor.

"We'll monitor it," Dr. Molina promised him. "Are you feeling particularly stressed today, Bella?"

_I'm being stalked by a crazy mayoral candidate. So yes, doctor, I'm a bit on edge._

"A little," I replied softly, and Edward squeezed my shoulders.

"Your blood pressure is a little higher than we prefer, so come back next week just for a quick nurse's visit. Let us check it again."

"Okay."

"I understand you have some questions for me," Dr. Molina smiled brightly at both of us. I suppressed my giggle as Edward cleared his throat.

"Yes," Edward nodded. "We were curious about sex during pregnancy."

Dr. Molina looked concerned. "Bella, are you feeling any discomfort during or after sex?"

"I wouldn't know."

"I don't understand," the doctor frowned.

"Edward is concerned that sex during pregnancy would be dangerous for the baby, so we've been…abstaining."

"Ahh," Dr. Molina smiled warmly. "You don't sound very happy about that, Bella."

"Yeah, well," I muttered. "You know what you told me about increased libido…"

"Yes," the doctor nodded as he turned his head toward Edward. "Let me assure you that sex during pregnancy is completely safe. Of course, if Bella feels any discomfort, or if there's any bleeding or cramping, you should call me immediately. Otherwise, sex is perfectly safe. We'll get you some information regarding pregnancy sex, just to set your mind at ease."

"Thank you," Edward replied as he squeezed my hand. I couldn't resist smirking at him. _Told you so._ I moistened my bottom lip with the tip of my tongue, and I watched his eyes darken as they focused on my mouth. My stomach muscles tightened in want, as I struggled to pull my attention back to the doctor, and reminded myself that we were in a public place.

"Dr. Molina, there are a couple of other things we'd like to discuss," I murmured softly. "Edward is a twin. What are the chances that I'm carrying two babies?"

"The twin gene is carried by the mother," Dr. Molina explained, "so the fact that Edward is a twin is irrelevant. Do twins run on your mother's side of the family, Bella?"

"Not that I know of," I admitted. "I mean, I know my mother isn't a twin. Beyond that, I'm not sure."

"That would certainly increase your chances," Dr. Molina explained. "An ultrasound can detect if you're carrying multiples as early as eight weeks into the pregnancy. We could certainly schedule an ultrasound for your next appointment, if you'd like."

"That would be great," I nodded.

"What about the sex of the baby?" Edward asked hopefully.

"Usually sixteen to eighteen weeks into the pregnancy is the most reliable time to determine gender. Even then, it all depends on if your baby is feeling cooperative," Mr. Molina replied with a laugh. "If your child is feeling shy during the ultrasound, then we'll have to wait until your next visit and try it again."

"Dr. Molina, my twin sister passed away due to leukemia," Edward's voice was soft. "To our knowledge, this is the first occurrence of leukemia in our family. What are the chances…"

"I was expecting this question," Dr. Molina smiled softly. "Your father is an excellent doctor and a champion of leukemia research. We know very little about what actually causes leukemia, but naturally, if a family member has cancer, your chances increase. But truthfully, anyone can contract the disease, so I'm afraid I cannot offer you any real reassurance regarding this. For now, let's focus on a healthy pregnancy and a safe delivery."

I squeezed Edward's hand reassuringly. He tilted his head in my direction and smiled.

"Do you have any further questions?" Dr. Molina asked, and we shook our heads. "My nurse will give you that information. Are you reading your recommended baby books, Bella?"

"Every day," I assured him, and he smiled.

"Good. Edward should probably read them, as well. I've learned that many first-time fathers appreciate the information. Bella, I have to caution you not to get too upset with Edward if he becomes a bit protective after reading them."

I stifled a giggle. _Becomes_ a bit protective?

"I'm afraid I'm already a bit overbearing," Edward admitted sheepishly.

"It's wonderful to see a father so invested in the well-being of the mother of his child," Dr. Molina replied. "You'll be a wonderful father to that baby."

I chanced a glance at Edward, and he was smiling wistfully.

We picked up the information from the nurse and confirmed my next appointment before making our way out of the office building. Instead of walking toward the car, Edward abruptly grabbed me by the hand and pulled me around the edge of the building, pressing my back against the wall. His eyes were wild as he stared into mine. He gazed at me with a look so possessive and adoring that I nearly whimpered, but before the sound could escape my throat, Edward captured my mouth in an explosive kiss. I moaned as memories consumed me, reminding me of the weekend that had changed my life forever. We had kissed many times since then, but he'd always been so reserved and sweet. Apparently, being given the green light from a medical professional was all Edward needed to unleash the full fury of his pent-up desire, and I was breathless when he finally pulled away.

"I want you," Edward whispered roughly against my ear.

"Take me home."

Edward's eyes gazed into mine as kissed me once more before taking my hand and tugging me toward the car.

The drive home was filled with tension, but it was a good kind of tension – the kind of tension that excited you and filled you with anticipation. Edward was gently stroking my knuckles with his fingers as I wiggled in my seat, unable to contain my enthusiasm. I glanced at his back seat, trying to decide if it would be totally uncomfortable back there if we were unable to actually make it to my bedroom.

Edward saw my backward glances and he smirked knowingly.

"Baby, don't tempt me."

"I _want_ to tempt you."

"You always tempt me," Edward groaned as he pressed down on the gas pedal, causing the car to lurch forward. I didn't have to glance at the speedometer. I could tell by the blur in my peripheral vision that we were breaking all sorts of speed limit laws. As the daughter of a sheriff, this should have been distressing to me. Instead, I found myself wishing he'd drive faster.

"I don't mean to," I murmured as I bit my bottom lip.

Edward chuckled. "I know you don't. That's what's so amazing about you. Everything about you drives me crazy, and you don't even realize it. Your voice, your smell…the way you walk in and out of a room. The way you chew on the end of your pencil when you're lost in thought. The way you look when you wake up in the morning. It's the simplest little things about you – things I've never noticed in any other woman – and it's those things that make me…."

"Make you what?" I could feel my heart thundering my chest as he pulled the car into the apartment parking lot. He swiftly turned off the ignition and turned his penetrating eyes toward mine.

"I'll tell you," Edward promised as he gently stroked my cheek. "But right now, all I can think about is getting you upstairs."

I didn't even wait for him to open my door before I jumped out of the car.

* * *

My fingers fumbled with the door keys as I struggled to unlock my door. Edward's chest was pressed against my back and he was kissing my exposed shoulder, so I was having some difficulty concentrating on my task.

"Unlock the door, Bella," Edward whispered against my ear.

"Holy crap." I whimpered as his hands found their way beneath my shirt. Finally, I managed to get the key in the lock, and I turned it forcefully. We'd barely pushed our way inside the door before Edward was kicking it shut and lifting me into his arms. I dropped my bag to the ground and wrapped my legs around his waist as he pushed us against the living room wall.

"Déjà vu," I whispered with a grin as he pressed his forehead to mine. With a low growl, his lips found mine and I moaned, reveling in the delicious feeling of having him pressed against me, as our mouths parted.

"I'm sorry baby," Edward murmured against my lips, "but we aren't going to make it to your bedroom. I want you too much."

"Take me," I whimpered against his mouth. "Right here, just like that first night."

He groaned as my legs tightened around his waist, and he kissed me frantically as I pulled at the hem of my shirt. He held me against the wall as I pulled my shirt over my head and dropped it to the floor.

"No," Edward groaned as he dropped his head. "We need to slow down…"

"Don't slow down. We've waited so long. Please…"

"Shh," Edward whispered as he pressed his lips to my cheek. "Just let me carry you to the bedroom."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and peppered his face with kisses as he carried me to my bed. He slowly lowered me to the edge as he dropped to his knees before me.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered as his fingers trailed along the lace of my bra. I reached around and unhooked my bra, letting it fall down my shoulders and onto the floor. Edward swiftly pulled his shirt over his head, and my hands couldn't resist ghosting along his broad shoulders. His hand made its way to my jeans, and he pulled the denim down my legs. He stood then, and I slowly unbuttoned his pants and unzipped his fly, pushing them, along with his underwear down to the floor. His eyes were blazing as he pushed me back against the mattress and crawled between my legs. His lips made a trail up my legs, and I felt goosebumps erupt along my skin.

"Please," I begged, with no real knowledge of what I was begging for.

"I love your body," Edward whispered softly as his lips continued their exploration. "I love the sounds you make when I do this…" He gently nipped at my skin, and I whimpered.

His kisses traveled toward my stomach, and I ran my fingers through his hair as he reverently placed soft kisses along my tummy. "I love that you're pregnant with my child. I love that there's this little person inside of you – a person who is the very best parts of you and me. And I don't care if it's a little girl or a little boy as long as he or she looks just like you."

"Your eyes and my hair," I breathed softly as his lips ghosted up along my stomach. Every touch was magnified…every kiss was intense.

"I love your porcelain skin," he sighed as he made his way to my collarbone. "I love how soft it feels."

Edward lifted his head, his jade eyes burning with intensity and desire as he gazed down at me.

"I love your eyes," Edward murmured as he pressed his body against mine. "They are beautiful windows into your heart and soul. I could stare at them for hours and never look away."

He grabbed my hands and entwined his fingers with mine.

"But out of all of those things that I love about you, none of that compares to how much I love _you_. I love you, Bella. I love you so much, baby."

I gasped as his mouth hungrily crashed against mine.

* * *

"I'm sorry."

Panting, Edward lifted his head from my neck and gazed down at me. "Why are you apologizing?"

"It was so fast…" I whispered sheepishly. "I'm sorry."

"It was perfect," Edward grinned down at me before brushing his lips against my cheek. "God, it was so perfect. Just as perfect as the very first time."

"Really?"

"Really," he promised me as he shifted above me.

"Don't," I whispered pleadingly as I grabbed onto his hips. "Just stay here for a few more minutes."

His eyes softened as he gazed down at me. "Okay."

We stared at each other for the longest time before I finally found my courage.

"Did you mean it?"

Amazingly enough, he needed no further elaboration.

"I meant it," Edward whispered solemnly. "I love you, Bella."

I smiled as I let my fingers drift along his chiseled jaw. His eyes closed as I caressed the soft contours of his face. He was truly the most handsome man on the planet. We had so much to learn about each other. I didn't know his favorite color or his favorite book. I didn't know if he was a Democrat or a Republican. I didn't even know his middle name.

But I knew that he loved me.

"I love you, Edward."

His eyes burst open, and the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen crossed his features.

And now he knows that I love him, too.


	16. The Clouds Will Break

**AN: Chapter title comes from "Moments Like This" by Alison Krauss. You can listen to it and the other chapter songs by checking out the playlist on my blog. The link is in my profile.**

Chapter 16

_The Clouds Will Break_

* * *

**EPOV**

Was there a happier man in the world than me?

I truly doubted it.

Of course life wasn't perfect. Bella and I had our issues to handle, but there's just something about spending the afternoon in bed with the woman you love, that makes all of those problems seem so inconsequential in the grand scheme of things.

Bella loves me.

It was the first time I'd ever heard those words from another human being – besides my family, of course. It was amazing how those three little words had filled me with such ecstatic joy.

She slept peacefully in my arms as I gazed down at her, marveling at her creamy skin and heart-shaped face. She had altered me so irrevocably in such a short amount of time. I thought about Jasper and the hell I'd put him through when he'd announced his engagement to Alice. No woman could be enough for a man for the rest of his life. No woman could be worth the hassle. No woman could be worth the inevitable headache and heartache.

_I owe Jasper an apology._

"What are you thinking about?"

Warm brown eyes were staring up at me. I smiled softly down at her and brought her hand to my lips, kissing it softly. I then pressed her hand against my beating heart.

"Do you feel that?"

Her gentle fingers flexed along my bare skin. "Yes."

"_Il mio cuore batte per te_," I murmured in perfect Italian – because I'd been practicing the phrase repeatedly in my head for the past hour. "_Solo per te_."

Bella gasped as her eyes filled with tears. "I didn't know you spoke Italian."

"I don't," I grinned sheepishly, "but I know you do."

"Those are beautiful words," Bella whispered as she ran her fingertip along my jaw line. "Regardless of the language."

"They're true," I promised her as I placed soft kisses along her face. "You and our baby are my life now."

Bella sighed contently as she snuggled against my chest. "I love you, Edward."

"I love you, baby."

* * *

"I have more bodyguards than the mayoral candidates," Bella muttered, as we made our way into the convention center.

I couldn't deny it. Felix and Emmett flanked us on each side while we wound our way through the hall and found our seats. The stage had a blue backdrop with two podiums. The moderator welcomed us to the debate and introduced each of the candidates. John Eleazar made his way to the stage, followed by James Miller. They took their places at the podiums and the moderator informed the candidates of the etiquette and rules of the debate. My eyes narrowed as I examined the fake smile he offered the crowd, and Bella squeezed my hand reassuringly before opening her laptop to record her notes.

As the debate flowed from question to question, I tried to soothe the beast inside and give Miller the benefit of the doubt. Truthfully, he may have no idea that Bella and I were involved, and he probably has no inkling that she's pregnant with my child. She's a beautiful, sexy woman, and James – like most politicians – is a determined man. The fact that he was having her followed was creepy, but again, I'm not sure that the old Edward Cullen could have blamed him. I would have followed her, too. I'd like to think I wouldn't have sent cryptic, creepy messages, but it was common knowledge that the girl made me insane. Luckily for me, she was crazy about me, too.

Perhaps an old-fashioned man-to-man chat was just what was needed to clear the air – to make it clear to the bastard that Bella was mine.

At the end of the debate, I watched as the candidates left the stage and made their way into the crowd. I leaned over and brushed my lips against her temple.

"I'll be right back, baby."

Bella's eyes flashed to mine. "Where are you going?"

"I just need to take care of something."

Her forehead creased, but she didn't ask any questions as she focused her attention back on her screen. I nodded to Emmett who tilted his head to Felix, and both men surrounded Bella as she continued typing her notes.

James wasn't hard to find. He had his hand on the back of a busty blonde near the entrance of the hall. If there was one thing I knew about James Miller, it was that he would never be found in the presence of an unattractive woman. My dealings with him had consisted of stuffy charity events where I'd had the displeasure of watching him treat women like material possessions. Of course, I saw no problem with his attitude at the time because I had been no saint, but I'd at least been respectful to the women who'd graced my arm.

I made my way to his side, and his eyes brightened as he extended his hand toward me. "Edward Cullen. It's been a long time."

"It has," I nodded as I shook his hand. "I was wondering if we could speak for a moment."

"Of course!" James agreed, probably thinking he could pump me for support. Thanks to Carlisle, the Cullen name was synonymous with class. No doubt James thought that a photo-op with me could only do good things for his campaign. I watched as he whispered in the blonde's ear, and her giggle grated on my nerves. His security team then led us out of the crowded hall and toward a small meeting room at the end of the floor. His bodyguard closed the door behind him just as James waved me toward one of the chairs surrounding the table.

"What can I do for you, Edward?" James asked politely. "I haven't seen you in months. Charity events aren't your scene anymore?"

"No, I've found a new scene," I explained calmly as I folded my hands on the table. "That's what I'd like to talk to you about."

James smiled kindly as he waited for me to elaborate.

"I've fallen in love with a wonderful woman," I said quietly, "and we're expecting a child."

James' eyes rose in surprise. "Seriously? Edward Cullen is settling down?"

"Yes."

He loosened the knot in his tie and leaned casually back in his chair. "Well, I never thought I'd see the day. Congratulations, I guess, if that's what makes you happy."

"Thanks, I'm very happy."

"Wow…" James mused with a grin. "Cullen is settling down. This girl must really be something."

That's what I wanted. Confirmation that he had no idea that Bella and I were together. It gave me a sliver of hope that he wasn't tailing her 24/7.

"She is," I murmured quietly. "Her name is Bella Swan."

I watched as James' face turned ashen.

"I would appreciate it if you would stop having her followed," I stated calmly. "She will not be accepting your dinner invitation. The flower deliveries can end, as well."

James finally found his voice. "I haven't been following Bella."

"No, I'm positive you don't have time to stalk her _and _run an efficient mayoral campaign," I said, the venom dripping from my voice. "But you _are_ having her followed. Your last note confirmed that. I am politely asking you to let it go."

James grinned. "She's a beautiful woman, Cullen."

"She is."

"You aren't up for a little healthy competition?"

My eyes tightened as my temper finally flared. "There would be no competition. She's pregnant with my child. Have a little class, James. You're scaring the woman I love, and I won't let it continue. You know she works for the _Times_. You're running for mayor. The last thing you need is for your harassment to make front-page news. Don't turn this into a pissing contest with me because you will not win."

"You're bluffing," James sneered. "You can't prove a thing."

"I have the evidence, right down to the banana peppers reference," I replied firmly. "You do not want to test me. I _will_ ruin you. Stay the hell away from her. Are we clear?"

James regarded me coolly before nodding his agreement.

"Contact her again and I _will_ call the police," I said as I swiftly leapt from my chair.

"You seem to forget that I'll be in charge of the police when I'm elected mayor," James grinned cockily as I made my way to the door.

"Fine. Contact her again and I will kill you," I retorted. "Better?"

Something flashed in James' eyes, but he nodded.

"I'm glad we understand each other," I replied, and I quickly made my way out the door.

* * *

Bella's next doctor's appointment went well, and her blood pressure was back in the safe zone. Dr. Molina told us that we may get to hear the baby's heartbeat at our next appointment, and neither of us could keep the smile off our faces, as we considered the possibility that we'd actually have audio evidence that our child was in there.

The following weeks were exciting for me because I could actually see physical signs that Bella was carrying my child. There wasn't a true baby bump just yet, but she had gained some weight. Each time she moaned that she felt fat, I was right there telling her how beautiful she looked. Her breasts were a little fuller (which I loved) and a dark line was beginning to form below her navel. Unfortunately, she was unable to share my excitement because the changes were really screwing with her emotions. She was eating her banana Popsicles even more than usual, as they seemed to ease the chronic heartburn. We'd begun to read to each other from the baby book as we'd lie in bed at night, and she'd actually cried when we found the paragraph warning against eating eggs sunny side-up. The next morning, I painstakingly prepared scrambled eggs and brought her breakfast in bed. This gesture seemed to console her until she began to dress for her day, and I had asked her not to wear her high-heels because – according to the book – this could cause strain to her back, and I didn't want her to fall. This request brought a fresh torrent of tears, and I spent the rest of my day feeling like shit for making her cry. Anything I said was wrong, and what made her happy one day could make her furious the next.

The banana peppers craving had ended as quickly as it started, and the mere mention of mustard made her nauseated once again. The return of the nausea, and the mood swings, had brought our amazing sex life to an abrupt halt. She didn't feel pretty, and I knew enough about women to understand that if they didn't feel beautiful, then sex was going to be the very last thing on their minds. It had been three weeks since the last time we'd had sex. _Three very long weeks_. So the lack of sex, combined with gauging her emotional state, was giving me whiplash. But I'd take it. I'd take the wild mood swings and the tears and the lack of sex. I'd take it all because she was carrying my child and I loved her more than life.

After a crappy day at the office, I decided that both Bella and I could use a nice, relaxing night at home, so I decided to cook her favorite dinner. Of course, her favorite dinner could have changed since yesterday, but I decided to take my chances. I called my mother for an easy mushroom ravioli recipe, and after stopping at the store for ingredients, I finally headed home.

_Home._

During the past month, Bella's apartment had become my home. She had even given me a key. However, she'd yet to officially invite me to move in with her, and while it seemed the next logical step, I wasn't going to be presumptuous. Just because I had spent every single night there during the past month didn't mean that she was ready to cohabitate with me. I was saving that discussion for the future – or at least, for a time when she wasn't moody or crying. Our lives had changed so much, and for Bella's sake, I was hesitant to add one more life-altering event to the mix.

I could be patient and content.

I kicked the door shut behind me as I made my way toward the kitchen. I quickly put away the ingredients and listened intently, trying to gauge if she was home. I could distinctly hear soft crying coming from the bedroom, and like a man possessed, I rushed toward the sound.

Lying across the bed was my beautiful girl, crying softly into her pillow.

It had apparently been a bad day.

I sighed softly as I made my way to her side – slowly crawling across the mattress until I could reach her. I pulled her into my arms and closed my eyes as she buried her face against my neck.

"Shh," I coaxed softly as I rubbed tiny circles across her back. "What's wrong, baby?"

Bella sniffled quietly as her eyes met mine. They were swollen and red, and I gently brushed her tears away with my thumb.

"I'm ugly," she whispered.

We had this same discussion at least three times a week.

"You are _not_ ugly," I promised her, smiling softly into her shining brown eyes. "You are the most beautiful girl in the whole world."

"I've never been this shallow," Bella murmured as she wiped her eyes. "I've never felt drop-dead gorgeous, but I've always thought I was okay."

"You're more than _okay_," I whispered as I kissed her cheek. "You are so pretty. I thought so from the first moment I saw you."

She shook her head. "I'm fat. My boobs hurt. I have a zit!" She pointed to her forehead, and sure enough, a very small pimple was gracing the skin. "I haven't had a zit since high school!"

"The book said that your skin goes through changes, and that pimples were a possibility," I reminded her.

Bella frowned. "I hate it. This whole pregnancy thing sucks. They say you're supposed to be glowing and happy, but all I feel is undesirable and moody. I have to pee all the time. Harry sent me home from work because I was being such a bitch to the copy editor. I'm being a bitch to everyone…"

"Bella," I said softly as I pulled her close to me and kissed her forehead. "You are not being a bitch. Your body is just adjusting to the fact that there's a baby in there. Dr. Molina warned us that these things were normal. It won't last forever."

"Why do you put up with me?" she asked as she gazed into my eyes. "I'm not the sweetest person to be around right now. I'm crazy-moody and sex is the very last thing on my mind."

"I love you," I replied simply. "I'm not worried about your mood swings or sex. As long as you and the baby are healthy, I am a happy man. You'll be happy, too. Just try to have some patience."

Bella sighed and closed her eyes, and I kissed her tenderly.

"I'm going to make us dinner tonight," I announced softly. "Does ravioli sound good?"

"With mushrooms?" Bella grinned hopefully through her tears, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Of course, sweetheart."

* * *

**BPOV**

The man was a saint.

Not only was Edward putting up with my crazy ass, he was actually being sweet about it. He never lost his temper…never made me feel anything less than beautiful and loved. I knew that I wasn't the easiest person to live with right now. I was being a bitch to everyone (Jake had told me so), but Edward just took it all in stride and smiled happily at me as if I was the most precious thing on the planet. At night, we'd read from the baby book, and lately, he'd taken to lying with his head close to my tummy and reading aloud to the baby.

It was the sweetest thing ever.

Truthfully, this past week had been a little better. I wasn't feeling nearly as moody, and my crying jags were few and far between. I still didn't feel like myself, but at least I could walk into the newsroom and smile at my colleagues. I was still peeing every hour, but at least the zits were gone.

Work was crazy busy thanks to next week's election. Our city was going to have a new mayor, and I prayed that John Eleazar could pull off the upset. I could not imagine having to follow James Miller for the next four years. I suspected that Edward had threatened the man with his life, because the flowers had stopped, and I'd begun to see less and less of Felix. He still took me to and from work, but his hand wasn't permanently attached to the gun in his holster, so I knew that things had calmed down considerably.

"You look lost in thought," Jake murmured as he leaned over my desk and offered me a doughnut. I happily took a chocolate one and munched contently.

"Just thinking that I've been a real bitch," I commented with my mouth full.

"You won't hear any argument from me," he grinned, "but since you're pregnant, I can forgive you."

"Thanks," I smirked. "But I was thinking more about Edward. He's been so sweet, and I was just thinking that I needed to find some way to thank him."

Jake swallowed his doughnut and frowned at me. "Surely you aren't having trouble thinking of ways to show gratitude to that gorgeous man of yours."

"I was thinking a romantic dinner," I mused quietly. "Maybe a weekend away, now that I'm feeling a little better…"

Jake was shaking his head. "You're over thinking this, Swan. We men are simple creatures. Straight or gay – it doesn't matter.

"Meaning?"

"Sex," Jake announced, causing heads to turn in the news room. "Thank him with some of that mind-blowing sex. That boy has _earned_ it."

_Sex? _

I frowned as I studied my desk calendar. "Wow."

"What?"

"It's been four weeks," I whispered.

"FOUR WEEKS?" Jake bellowed, and this time, even Harry stuck his head out of his office to see what the fuss was about.

"Shhhhh," I groaned as I buried my head in my hands.

Jake's eyes were crazed. "You've been sleeping next to that sexy man every night for the past four weeks and you haven't…"

"I just haven't been in the mood, Jake! I've felt like shit, and I've been such a bitch. It's not like he's tried…"

"Well, of course he didn't try! You've been such a raving bitch, the pretty man was probably afraid you'd slap his beautiful face."

"I haven't been a _raving_ bitch," I muttered, but Jake wasn't listening. He was powering off my laptop and grabbing my jacket. "What the hell are you doing?"

"_You_ are leaving," Jake explained rapidly. "You are leaving right this minute, and you are going to that man's law firm and you are fucking him right there in his office. Do not make that fine specimen of a man wait one more second."

"I am not going to his office." I rolled my eyes as he tossed my bag my way. He immediately pulled my hair down and ruffled it with his fingers. "Did you become a hair stylist while I was off being a raving bitch?"

"The skirt is an indecent length, which is very good," Jake nodded approvingly. "Hooker heels would have been preferable."

"Edward won't let me wear heels," I admitted dryly. "The baby book says not to, and in Edward's world, that book is the Gospel."

Jake's face softened. "He really loves you, Swan."

"I know." I smiled.

"GO!" Jake exclaimed as he pulled me by the arm and led me to the stairs. "And I want details!"

"Not a chance," I grinned as I leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Thanks, Jake."

* * *

"Hello, Bella," Lauren smiled brightly at me as I made my way toward the reception desk.

I was surprised that she knew my name. We'd spoken on the phone a few times, but we'd never met.

"How did you know it was me?"

"Your picture is on his desk," Lauren winked. "Not to mention on his screensaver. I think I can speak for the entire office when I say thank you for making him so happy – although he's been a bit ill-tempered the past two weeks."

I cringed. "Yeah, that's my fault. These pregnancy hormones are really screwing with my moods. I'm sorry he's taking it out on you."

Lauren offered me a sweet smile. "He's been tolerable. He really is so much happier now that he's found you."

I smiled happily. "Is he busy?"

"He just buzzed me for a cup of coffee. I was just getting ready to take it to him before I headed to lunch. Would you like to do the honors?"

I looked around the otherwise deserted office. "Lauren, I umm…I was wondering…how long is your lunch?"

"An hour."

"An hour…" I mentally calculated, wondering if an hour would be long enough to work on that ill-temper of his.

"Unless you'd like me to take a longer lunch?"

Her eyes were twinkling, and we shared an understanding smile. After she left, I softly knocked on his office door. He muttered something unintelligible, and I took a deep breath as I made my way through the door.

"Lauren, forget the coffee!" Edward snapped as he tapped away on his keyboard. His voice was frazzled. "I think I'll just go to the gym for lunch – work off some steam. Call the gym and see if my trainer is available."

I suddenly felt like such selfish bitch. Edward looked so stressed out, and it suddenly dawned on me that this wonderful, sweet man who had been so calm and patient with me over the past few weeks, was actually at his wit's end. He had hidden it so well from me, and I felt ashamed that I'd never taken his feelings into consideration.

"I can think of a much better way to work off that steam."

I leaned against the door, and his head snapped to attention. I locked the door, and his eyes never left mine as I made my way over to his desk.

"Hi, baby," he murmured softly. It was amazing how much his entire demeanor changed. "I'm sorry, I thought you were Lauren."

"I know." I nodded as I turned his leather chair around. Very slowly, I peeled my jacket away from my body and tossed it onto the floor. "Lauren is gone to lunch. A very _long_ lunch."

"Oh?" he whispered as my hands slowly unbuttoned each of the buttons of my blouse, exposing my pale pink bra. I watched his eyes glaze as I stripped slowly, letting his penetrating eyes burn my body with their intensity. "Why would she be taking a long lunch?"

I unbuttoned my skirt and let it fall before climbing onto his mahogany desk. His eyes raked over my body, and for the first time in weeks, I didn't feel fat or unattractive. I felt beautiful and desired, and it was making my blood boil.

"I asked her to," I said as he rose from his seat and leaned close to me. His lips gravitated toward mine, but I dodged his kiss in order to make quick work of his buttoned-down shirt and slacks. "I thought you and I needed some privacy."

"The only thing I need is you."

I smiled as I leaned back on my elbows.

"Have you ever done this? Here? On your desk?

"No." His voice was rough.

"Do you want to?"

I thought he might refuse me. He loved me, and I knew he tormented himself with his fear of being too rough. His need for me must have overridden that fear because suddenly his mouth was devouring mine as he pulled me to the edge of his desk.

"I love you, Songbird," Edward whispered breathlessly against my lips. "I've missed you."

I moaned as he swallowed my sounds with his desperate kisses. Suddenly, my back was pressed against his desk as he hovered above me.

"I love you," I moaned breathlessly, and his strangled groan echoed in my ear.

* * *

Minutes later, we were both still panting as he pressed his forehead against mine.

"Holy hell," he whispered shakily.

"I know."

"Will it always be like this?" Edward murmured breathlessly.

Would it be? Would we always love each other so fiercely? Would the physical side of our relationship always be this intense?

"I hope so."

"Me too, baby," he smiled as he kissed me softly. "Me too."

* * *

_**Il mio cuore batte per te. Solo per te**_**: My heart beats for you. Only for you.**


	17. My Heart's Desire

**AN: I have drawn a complete blank on a song for this chapter. There's just so much happening in this chapter, so it's hard to pick one song to fit the mood. So instead, you're just getting a chapter title. I know no one really cares, but I felt the need to explain. :)**

**Many hugs to my beta for getting this edited so quickly. She's an angel.**

* * *

_**Chapter 17**_

_**My Heart's Desire**_

* * *

BPOV

I leaned my elbows on my desk and pressed my fingertips to my forehead, massaging gently in a vain attempt to soothe away the stress and noise that surrounded me. The newsroom was abuzz with every available reporter on the phone, chasing precinct numbers. Voter turnout had been high, and according to exit polls, the mayoral race was much tighter than anyone had expected.

"You need caffeine," Jake said as he offered me a cup of coffee.

God, how I needed caffeine, but I shook my head. "Baby book says no caffeine."

"What _is_ that book?" Jake scoffed. "A big list of things _not_ to do?"

"Pretty much."

"Well, thank God office sex isn't on that list," Jake winked. Not that I'd given him any details of that amazing day in Edward's office, but he could pretty much tell that the lunch hour had been a success when I'd returned to work, contented smile and horrible sex hair in place.

"Eleazar's numbers are slipping," Harry bellowed from the corner of the newsroom. He had two cell phones pressed to each ear. "We're waiting for a few more precincts to report, but it looks like James Miller is going to be the next mayor of Seattle."

Furious typing could be heard throughout the newsroom, which was a good thing, because that meant they couldn't hear my miserable groan.

* * *

"Tomorrow is an important day," Edward murmured softly to my tummy. His head was lying gently against my stomach, and I slowly slipped my fingers through his hair. My stomach was getting bigger – my baby bump much more pronounced. As my waistline grew, so did Edward's love for my protruding tummy. Each and every night, he either read to or sang to the baby.

Tonight, he was bribing the baby.

"Tomorrow we can find out if you are a boy or a girl," Edward continued whispering. "Now, it's very important that you aren't shy tomorrow."

"Edward…" I giggled.

"Hush," he looked up at me and winked. "I'm talking to our child."

I stifled my laughter as he promised to buy our unborn child a car for his or her sixteenth birthday, if only they'd cooperate tomorrow. I loved seeing him so happy and so in love with our baby, so I let him continue his silly negotiating until I finally fell into a peaceful sleep.

The next morning, Edward's leg was jumping excitedly as Dr. Molina measured me.

"Looks good," Dr. Molina smiled at each of us. "Right where we should be." He then noticed Edward's impatient leg and couldn't keep from laughing. "Edward, you seem a bit jumpy today."

"We can do the ultrasound today, right?" Edward rambled excitedly. "The book says we could learn the sex of the baby this month. Can we do that?"

"Well," Dr. Molina mused, and I swore I could see a little twinkle in his eye. "We can certainly try. If your baby is feeling particularly shy, I'm afraid we'll have to wait until the next visit…"

"Our baby won't be shy today," Edward announced firmly. "We had a very long discussion last night."

Dr. Molina looked to me. "A discussion?"

"With the baby," I clarified. "Edward likes to talk to the baby at night. They apparently made a bargain. The baby gives us a peep show today, and Edward buys it a car when it turns sixteen."

Dr. Molina laughed. "I love it!"

"Is that a yes?" Edward asked hopefully.

"It's a bit sooner than I normally do ultrasounds to determine gender," Dr. Molina said, "but sure, we'll certainly try. Let's get started."

Minutes later, Edward was excitedly squeezing my hand as I shivered. The gel was cold as Dr. Molina slid the transducer along my stomach, and all three of us were watching the blurry screen with anticipation.

"There's the heartbeat," Dr. Molina said as he pointed to a rhythmic thumping on the screen. "Just one heartbeat, by the way."

Secretly, I was thrilled. Just thinking about one baby was overwhelming enough.

"Due date seems accurate," the doctor continued as the transducer moved along my tummy.

"What's that thing that looks like a long string of pearls?" Edward asked softly.

"The baby's spine," Dr. Molina explained.

I didn't trust myself to speak. I simply stared at the screen and watched as our baby moved within me.

"So that's the leg," Edward murmured, as he stared at the screen. "Which means…"

Our eyes followed the shape of the leg until we found – or didn't find – what we were looking for.

"I guess someone's getting a car when she turns sixteen," Dr. Molina grinned. "Congratulations."

Tears swam in my eyes as we watched our daughter on the black and white screen. Edward sighed contently as he pressed a kiss to my temple.

"Look at her, Songbird."

I _was_ looking. I couldn't take my eyes off the screen. Of course, I'd come to accept that I was carrying a baby inside of me, but to see visual proof – to actually see the curve of her spine, to see her heartbeat, to see _her_…

"She's ours," I whispered faintly.

"She is," Edward's voice was full of emotion.

We totally ignored Dr. Molina as he made notations on his chart.

"Can I do this?" I whispered, a brief moment of fear gripping me. She was tiny and defenseless, and I certainly didn't have a good role model in terms of mothers.

"Of course you can," Edward murmured softly. "You can do anything, and _we_ can do anything."

"Why aren't you scared?" I asked softly. How could he be so optimistic?

"I'm petrified," Edward admitted with a weak laugh. "I don't know the first thing about being a father. But we'll figure it out."

"We will?"

"We will," Edward promised me, as he leaned close to my cheek and nodded toward the screen. "Look at her. She's ours, Bella. We'll love her and protect her, because that's what good parents do. We'll figure it out. I can't _wait_ to figure it out."

I marveled at the sincerity in his voice. He was so positive that we could do this, but what if I was a terrible mother – just like my own?

"Stop that," Edward murmured, pressing his lips to my cheek. "You're nothing like her."

Edward Cullen was the man of my dreams _and_ a mind reader.

* * *

Now that the gender was determined and happily announced to anyone within earshot, Edward insisted on hitting the baby superstore in town.

"Do we really need a bassinette?" I asked as Edward examined the cradle. This particular piece of baby furniture actually played music and vibrated. "I mean, isn't the crib enough?"

"Well, the good thing about the bassinette is that it can be carried from room to room," Edward explained, as he'd obviously taken detailed notes on the furniture chapter of the baby book. "So, if the crib was upstairs but we were downstairs, we wouldn't have to carry the baby upstairs just so she could take a nap."

"But we don't have stairs," I reasoned.

Edward grew quiet as he examined every inch of the bassinette for any imperfections. "We might someday…"

I looked up at him in surprise. "Oh really?"

He shrugged nonchalantly as he walked around the display. "You never know. Shouldn't we be prepared just in case?"

"You don't like my apartment?"

Edward's eyes ghosted over a car seat that had so many contraptions and buckles that I was pretty sure that it could be used in the cockpit of the space shuttle.

"I like your apartment just fine," he murmured softly as he fastened one of the buckles into place and tugged firmly to check its security. "I was just thinking we might want to look at houses someday."

"Oh." I was surprised. We'd never really talked about officially moving in together. I supposed it was assumed – he _had_ been living with me for weeks now. Did I want a house?

_I think I do._

Happiness surged through me as Edward tossed various baby products into our cart. The cart was a big glob of pink. We had pink clothes, pink bottles, pink blankets…Poor Uncle Emmett was going to be pretty pissed when he heard the news.

"I don't think we need teething rings just yet," I grinned at him as he tossed the rings, along with more bottles and pacifiers, into the cart.

"What do you think about breastfeeding?" Edward asked as he nodded toward a breast pump.

"I think it sounds incredibly painful," I grimaced as I examined the contraption. Did I even _want_ to breastfeed?

Edward just nodded as he put the box back on the shelf and continued pushing our cart down the aisle. We rounded a corner and suddenly, we were standing on the edge of a collection of baby cribs and bedding, all arranged by theme. My eyes brightened, and Edward must have noticed my excitement, because he steered the cart straight toward the cribs. Each "room" was arranged according to nursery theme, complete with bedding, change table, dresser, rugs, and rocking chair.

"That's a lot of pink," I muttered as we examined the first room, called _Pretty in Pink_.

"You don't like pink?"

"I…don't know?" Were there rules in babyland? Was I required to deck-out my child's nursery – not to mention her body – in pink, just because she was a girl?

"There's pink and brown," Edward motioned to the next crib. "And pink and purple…"

"I like purple," I whispered. Edward smiled and steered us down through the pink haze until we stopped in front of a theme called "Chloe's Garden." The bedding had big pink and purple flowers. It was girly and cute, but it wasn't Pepto-Bismol pink.

I loved it, and I told him so.

"Yeah?"

"Yes," I smiled.

Edward nodded at a store employee who quickly jumped to attention and made her way to our side.

"Excellent choice," she grinned, more so at Edward than at me. Edward didn't even notice as he instantly asked about the safety stats of the crib. I took the opportunity to check out the price tags on each and every item, and I almost fainted.

"This is a convertible crib," the store associate explained. "When the baby becomes a toddler, it converts into a toddler bed. Later, it converts into a full-size bed. It's a great investment. It comes in cherry, oak, or pearl white."

"Bella?" Edward asked.

"Umm…I like the cherry," I whispered. Were we really buying all of this today? I mentally calculated how much money we would need and quickly compared it to my bank account balance.

The sales associate turned to me. "And would you like all of the pieces in the collection?"

My eyes glanced over the rocker, the changing table, and the dresser. It was _all_ beautiful, but could I really afford everything today? Edward must have noticed my apprehension because he asked the girl to give us a minute.

"What's wrong?" He asked as he pulled me toward the rocking chair, and I settled myself onto his lap.

"It's just a little overwhelming," I admitted quietly. "I mean, it's all beautiful, but I just thought we'd pick out some clothes, maybe some diapers…"

"We'll need all of these things eventually," Edward said quietly.

"I know," I nodded. "I'm just not sure if I can afford it all today."

Edward's forehead creased as he brushed my hair away from my shoulder. "Bella, I never expected you to pay for any of this."

Realization dawned.

"Edward, you can't pay for all of this yourself."

"Of course I can," Edward nodded. "I want to, Bella."

"But that's….that's not how it should be," I stammered. "We're supposed to be equals….partners…."

"And we are," Edward murmured softly. "Bella, don't you understand? Everything I have is yours."

I couldn't believe my ears.

"That's not true, Edward. It _shouldn't_ be true. We aren't…"

_Married._

I couldn't even say the word. I could barely think it.

"It _is_ the truth," Edward replied tenderly. "I love you, Bella, and you are having my baby. Don't you think I should be allowed to give you anything your heart desires?"

He just didn't understand. Edward grew up in a gigantic house with a doctor as a father. My dad was a cop and Renee was forced to stay home to raise me. Money wasn't something to which I was accustomed.

I could feel the tears stinging my eyes. "It's too much, Edward."

"Nothing is too much for you…" he murmured softly as he kissed the hollow below my ear. "…or for our daughter."

"I want to pay for half," I replied, prompting Edward to sigh.

"Today has been such a happy day," he whispered. "Please, Bella."

Yes, today was a happy day, but it had also been completely overwhelming. Not only did we see our daughter, but, now, Edward was talking houses and wanting to buy thousands of dollars in baby furniture. My life was on this constant roller coaster, and while most of it was wonderful, it was also scary as hell. Would I ever just feel settled and calm?

"Baby, talk to me," Edward pleaded softly.

I gazed into his brilliant green eyes, looking at me with so much concern and love that it nearly brought me to tears.

"You're so wonderful," I whispered. "You're so good to me."

"I love you," Edward murmured simply, as if that explained everything.

_Maybe it does._

"Just feeling overwhelmed, I think."

"I understand," Edward nodded as he brushed his knuckles across my cheek. "It's been a stressful couple of weeks. We should take a mini-vacation or something."

That sounded nice. "Where would we go?"

"Where would you like to go?"

Would I ever get used to his ability to grant my every wish?

"Surprise me," I said, and he smiled.

"I can do that." Edward kissed me softly before glancing back toward the furniture. "Why don't we wait on all of this? We still have some time."

I took a deep breath and looked over the beautiful nursery. I really did love it. It was only the price – and my feelings of inadequacy – that made me hesitant.

"We're already here," I shrugged. "We might as well make a decision."

"I know it's expensive," Edward whispered. "Let me buy this for our baby. Nothing would make me happier."

"You can buy the furniture," I compromised. "I'll buy the accessories."

Edward smiled brightly. "Deal."

After making the sales associate's day, we decided to order pizza for dinner and spend a quiet night at home. Edward was unusually subdued as we watched the news that night, and I knew some of that was thanks to the story on James Miller and the changes he was making within the mayor's office. He had already named new administrative assistants and had pissed off most of the members of city council. It was a pretty impressive feat for a man who wouldn't take office until the first of September.

While it was easy to fault James for Edward's mood, I also knew that I had to accept my share of the blame. He'd been so happy after leaving the doctor's office, and I'd had to sour our day with my independent streak. I'd relented, but still. I had taken a fun shopping excursion and made it harder than it had needed to be, and at the end of it, all I'd done was point out the obvious. We were two very different people with completely different upbringings who were having a child, but were we really that different from anyone else? Sure, this was a crazy situation, but were we really all that different from other couples who'd fallen in love with each other? Didn't everyone have problems to work through?

Edward was still quiet when we finally made our way to bed later that night. My back was pressed to his chest, and he held me tight as I ran my fingers along his arm. His soft rhythmic breathing against my ear had nearly soothed me to sleep until this voice whispered in the darkness.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"About what we were discussing in the store," he whispered, his breath tickling my ear. "You are my equal, Bella. I just don't believe that being equal has anything to do with money."

I began to trace patterns on his arm as he continued.

"Money doesn't buy happiness," Edward murmured. "If that were true, my sister would still be alive."

I closed my eyes as a single tear trickled down my cheek. His arm tightened around me as he pressed a kiss to my hair.

"I never thought I'd be this happy," he said softly.

"Me neither," I replied timidly. "You make me happy – happier than I've been my whole life. My emotions are just all over the place, and I'm having such a hard time keeping up with them. So much is happening so fast."

"I know."

"I have a very hard time letting you buy things for me," I admitted quietly. "I'm just stubbornly independent. I always have been."

"But this is for our baby," Edward reminded me. "I need you to accept that I'm going to want to do things for her, and that includes buying whatever she needs – and probably a lot of things she _won't_ need at all. She is going to be completely spoiled, and I promise you, if you and I don't spoil her, the grandparents certainly will."

I couldn't help but giggle. It was so true. Even Charlie had called to let us know that he'd started a baby fund for his grandchild. He'd actually deposited the hundred bucks he'd won from Edward into the account.

"I'm a successful lawyer, and I've made good investments through the years. Money is never going to be an issue for us."

"But that's just it," I whispered. "That's _your_ money. I'm not completely destitute, but newspaper reporters aren't wealthy. I have to manage my money. I always have."

"It's _our_ money," Edward argued softly. "What's mine is yours."

"We aren't married," I reminded him, finding the courage to actually verbalize the word. His arm tightened around me but he remained quiet as I closed my eyes. I was nearly asleep when I heard his voice in my ear.

"I want to marry you, Songbird."

* * *

"Crazy man," I muttered as I tossed a piece of my sandwich toward the ducks. I was having lunch at my favorite park, and the ducks had made their way to land in search of food. "Who does he think he is? He knows I'm an emotional mess right now, and he whispers _that_ in my ear at two in the morning?"

Obviously, Edward had thought that I was asleep because there was no mention of his nighttime confession over our breakfast this morning. Me, the chicken that I am, refused to even acknowledge the possibility that he had been serious, so I'd kept my mouth shut.

It was a beautiful afternoon, and I closed my eyes and raised my face toward the sun, willing its warmth to soothe my frazzled nerves. Suddenly, I felt movement at my side, and I opened my eyes and nearly jumped out of my skin when I noticed James Miller sitting next to me on the bench.

"Hello, Bella. It's nice to see you again."

I had to resist the urge to run, so I struggled to control my breathing as I tossed small pieces of my sandwich toward the ducks.

"I would like to apologize," James murmured cautiously. "I understand that I came on a bit too strong, and for that, I am sorry. I had no idea you were involved with Edward, and I certainly had no idea you were pregnant with his child. I saw a beautiful woman, and I was attracted to her. I'm sorry if I frightened you."

I remained silent as I watched the ducks nibbling on my breadcrumbs.

"I must say that I'm surprised," James continued. "You aren't Edward's usual type."

"What is Edward's usual type?" I found myself asking.

"Wealthy. Beautiful." James shrugged. "Not that you aren't beautiful, Bella. You most certainly are."

_Wealthy._

"Money doesn't buy happiness," I repeated Edward's words from the night before.

"How true," James nodded appreciatively. "It does, however, make life a little easier, don't you think?"

I took a deep breath. "I wouldn't know."

"No," James agreed. "A reporter for the _Seattle Times_ couldn't know much about that. That's why I have a proposition for you."

"A proposition?"

"Yes," James smiled. "As you can imagine, I am doing some employee reviews, and I have felt the need to replace some of the previous mayor's staff. I find myself in need of a press secretary. Your work is exemplary, and I think you would make a fine addition to my administration. Interested?"

If it was for any other mayor-elect, the answer would be a resounding yes. But this was James Miller, and he was a creep.

"Before you say no," James explained, "I think you should know that the base salary is triple figures."

_Triple figures?_

"Give it some thought," he said as he handed me his card. "You can call that number and get more detailed salary and benefit information from my secretary."

I stared at the card in my hand as he swiftly rose to his feet. "I hope you can accept my apology, and I hope you give serious consideration to my offer. I look forward to hearing from you."

And with that, he was gone.

Dumbfounded, I stared at his card until my eyes finally crossed. With a heavy sigh, I tossed the card in my bag before placing my hand over my baby bump.

"Baby girl, your mommy is on a roller coaster ride that never ends."

I couldn't concentrate on a thing the rest of the afternoon except for Edward's confession and James' job offer. I didn't even bother asking Edward for his thoughts on the proposition. He would be livid to know that James had even contacted me. The man was a creep, but he'd seemed genuinely sorry. He'd even offered me the job of my dreams. Who wouldn't want to get out of a stuffy newsroom and work in the mayor's office? Not to mention, my salary would more than triple.

I could truly be Edward's equal. I could bring something to the relationship besides our baby and myself.

Because I was a glutton for punishment, I hit Google and typed "Edward Cullen's girlfriend" into the search box. Just as I'd feared, a picture of him with his arm around a strawberry blonde filled my screen. The picture was taken at a benefit, dated about a month after Alice's wedding. Of course, she was drop-dead gorgeous. I scanned the article for her name and immediately googled her.

Tanya Denali was an attorney in a law firm in Olympia. She graduated from Harvard Law, and was obviously intelligent, certainly beautiful, and most definitely wealthy.

Jealousy filled me as I closed the window.

_You're being irrational. He loves you. You are pregnant with his child. He said that wants to marry you._

But do I deserve him?

* * *

**You can see a picture of the nursery by clicking the images link on my profile. **

"**Songbird" has been nominated in the Golden Lemon Awards for Best Walk of Shame (for the morning-after breakfast)! If you'd like to vote, the link is in my profile. Another of my stories, "Such Great Heights" was nominated for Best Story at The Glove Awards. I was also nominated as Best Author. Again, if you'd like to vote, links are in my profile.**

**As always, I love to hear your thoughts! :) Next update will be next weekend.**


	18. My Beloved Was Weighed Down

**AN: Chapter song is Florence + the Machine's "Heavy in Your Arms." In this chapter, Bella sings Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes." Both songs can be found on the playlist for this story. The link is on my profile.**

**Love to Shaina for beat'ing so quickly.**

**Chapter 18**

_**My Beloved Was Weighed Down**_

* * *

**BPOV**

"Have those pregnancy hormones deprived you of your common sense? You cannot work for that man."

I sighed heavily as I dipped my spoon into the ice cream that Rose and I were sharing.

"It's a good offer, Rose."

"If it were any other mayor-elect, I'd probably agree with you. But this? This is a terrible offer, and to be quite honest, I'm having a hard time believing that _you _don't see that it's a terrible offer. The man _stalked_ you, Bella. Stalked you! Something is clouding your judgment, Bella Swan, and I'd like to know what it is."

Rosalie's world was very black and white. I would never make her understand.

"He's blackmailing you, isn't he?"

"What?" I blinked at her. "No! It's nothing like that."

"Then explain it to me," Rosalie begged. "Give me one good reason why accepting this job offer would be a positive thing for you."

_I can give you one hundred thousand good reasons._

"The money is good."

"This is about _money_?" Rosalie shrieked, causing heads to turn in the restaurant. "Have you forgotten that your boyfriend is a millionaire?"

I knew he was wealthy, but I wasn't sure of the actual dollar amounts. "He is?"

"The whole damn family is filthy rich, Emmett included."

"Doesn't that intimidate you?" I asked hopefully.

Perhaps she might understand after all.

"No. The Cullens are good people. Yes, they have a gorgeous house and are obscenely wealthy, but you'd never know it. They've welcomed both of us with open arms, and I know for a fact that they absolutely adore you. Edward is apparently a changed man now that he's found you, and they are praising your name, _and_ you're giving them their first grandchild…you're a saint to them, Bella."

I grimaced as I stabbed the ice cream. "But I'm bringing nothing to this relationship."

Rosalie eyed me skeptically. "You're bringing _nothing_? You're bringing yourself and a baby. What else do you need to bring?"

"I can't be dependent on Edward. You should have seen the baby furniture. That stuff is so expensive! But of course, it was top of the line and beautiful, and he wants the baby to have the very best."

"The nerve of the man," Rosalie rolled her eyes sarcastically.

"I want to be his equal, Rose."

My best friend regarded me wistfully before finally dropping her spoon onto her napkin.

"Has Edward made you feel less than his equal?"

"No."

"Do you love him?"

"I do."

"Are you carrying his child?"

I rolled my eyes and pointed to my swollen belly.

"Just answer the question, Swan."

"Yes, I'm carrying his child," I sighed.

"You will _never_ be his equal," Rosalie concluded, "and he will never be your equal."

I narrowed my eyes in confusion. "Meaning?"

"Don't you see? You are bringing his child into this world. That's something he can't do, Bella. So instead, he buys the baby an expensive nursery and worships the ground you walk on. In return, you carry and nurture the child that's growing inside of you, and you love Edward with your whole heart."

I allowed her words to sink in as I wiped a stray tear from my eye.

"Money will never make you equal," Rosalie murmured. "Love makes you equal."

I nodded gently. She was right, of course, and I was surprised by Rosalie's gentle demeanor. She was never this philosophical and soft-spoken. It was sort of nice.

"Regardless, this is all moot," Rose said. "Edward would never let you take this job, and before you protest that he can't tell you what to do, let me remind that you that a good man would do just that. He would protect the woman he loves and protect his unborn child. And a good mother would _not _make dumbass decisions like putting herself and her baby at risk by accepting a job offer from a stalker like James Miller. _And_ if you seriously consider this proposition, I will run right to Edward and tell him to lock you in your apartment until you come to your senses. Are you crazy?"

Just like that, the real Rosalie had returned.

After my verbal lashing from my best friend, I was in desperate need of relaxation, so I decided to take a walk to clear my head. Autumn was nearly over, and the stores were already decorating their windows with Christmas themes. The clear lights and frosty windows brought a smile to my face, and I wondered how the Cullens celebrated the holidays. Did they open presents on Christmas Eve, or did they wait until the next morning? Did they like turkey or ham? Did the guys surround the television and watch football, and did Esme love to bake homemade pies?

These weren't my Christmas traditions, of course. My Christmas traditions weren't nearly as picturesque and serene. My childhood Christmases had been spent on airplanes, flying between Forks and Jacksonville thanks to the shared custody agreement that took me years to rebel against. I'd never been more thankful than when I'd been allowed to stay with Charlie on a permanent basis and we had the freedom to start our own traditions. We opened gifts on Christmas Eve just so that we could sleep in the next day. We made snow angels in the backyard and snowmen in the front, and in the afternoons, we watched a football game and drank hot chocolate. It actually _felt_ like Christmas, and it had nothing to do with the gifts under the tree. It had everything to do with a sense of family and home.

That's what I wanted for our child. I wanted every day to feel like Christmas. I wanted her to have the security that I never really had, and I knew that with Edward and the Cullens, she would have that. Our child would be spoiled and adored, and she would never be forced to live with me in one city and Edward in another because we would never let that happen. Even if things didn't work out between us, we would stay close for the sake of our child. Of this, I was positive.

I wished I could be as certain about everything else in my life.

"Hi, sweetheart," Esme's voice startled me. "Doing some window shopping?"

I turned toward her sweet voice and saw that her hands were full of shopping bags. She was smiling brightly at me, and I couldn't help but smile in return.

_This_ was a good mother.

"Just taking a walk," I said. "I see you've had a busy day, though."

Esme laughed - a warm, motherly laugh that curled my toes and made me ache for my own mother who had never laughed that way. "Well, rumor has it that I have a granddaughter on the way. I hope you don't have an aversion to pink."

"Pink is great," I smiled.

Esme searched my face for several minutes before finally whispering, "You're emotional today."

I chuckled as I glanced back at the window. "You might say that, yeah."

"What can I do?" She asked kindly, as if she could just snap her fingers and make all of my insecurities go away.

I sighed heavily. "You can take me home."

Esme smiled and offered her arm, and I took it as we strolled slowly to her car. I hadn't needed to clarify _which_ home, and within a half hour, we were sitting at her kitchen table. She was sipping her tea while I drank a glass of milk and ate three peanut butter cookies.

Her kitchen smelled like home, and I prayed that my own daughter would be this lucky.

We talked about the baby, and she listened with rapt attention as I told her all about Edward's bargaining tactics with our daughter. Her eyes twinkled with happiness and pride was radiating from her.

"Life sounds pretty wonderful," Esme murmured softly. "So why isn't Mommy happy?"

"Because Mommy is feeling inadequate and undeserving."

To my immense surprise, she nodded in understanding. "It's overwhelming, isn't it? You have this beautiful baby growing inside of you, and a man who would move heaven and earth to make you happy."

"Yeah."

"I felt that way, too," Esme admitted with a smile. "Carlisle and I found out that we were pregnant, and then on top of that, we learned that I was carrying twins. By that time, he was through medical school and had started working at the hospital. So – not only was I having twins – I was alone most of the time because he had to devote so much time to his patients. His family was wonderful, though. Once Edward and Jane arrived, they moved closer just to help us out. They were retired by that time and had nothing better to do than to dote on their grandchildren."

"I'm sure that was a relief to you," I said.

"It was," Esme nodded. "Carlisle's parents were wonderful people, but it took me some time to feel comfortable around them. I had grown up without the luxuries that Carlisle had always known, and while his parents were warm and wonderful, I went through my bouts of insecurity."

Esme rose to pour herself another cup of tea and offered me more to drink. I swallowed nervously as she rummaged in the refrigerator.

"Esme, how did you overcome that?"

"The insecurity?"

I nodded, and she made her way back to the table and poured me another glass of milk.

"I had to accept that just because we came from different backgrounds didn't mean that I wasn't worthy of his love. He was my husband, and I was his wife, and we had beautiful children. Being a good mother and a good wife was all that I needed to be. In the grand scheme of things, that was really all that mattered."

The phone rang from the living room, and she excused herself to answer it. I was still pondering her words as I wandered through the house. I found myself in the room with the piano, and I sat down on the bench and slowly lifted the lid. My fingers drifted across the keys, and I began to play. Of course, my mood dictated the movement of my fingers, and the melody was haunting and sad.

I glanced up at the picture frames that adorned the top of the piano, and my eyes instantly rested on a picture of Edward, decked out in a graduation cap and gown. He looked young, so I could only assume it was high school graduation. Most graduates were all smiles, but not him, and it was easy to figure out why. He had graduated without his sister at his side – a fact that was sure to sour the otherwise happy occasion. He was devastatingly handsome, with the green eyes I loved so much reflected back at me from within the glass. Unconsciously, my fingers drifted into another melody, and my voice was soft as I began to sing.

_Love, I get so lost sometimes  
Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart_

But my heart wasn't empty. It was filled with more love than I'd ever known. It was only my self-doubt that was casting a shadow on my happiness. I continued singing as I stared into the face that I loved so much.

_In your eyes  
The light the heat  
I am complete  
I see the doorway to a thousand churches  
The resolution of all the fruitless searches  
I see the light and the heat  
Oh, I want to be that complete  
I want to touch the light, the heat I see_

_In your eyes_

Tears were spilling down my face as I finished the chorus, and suddenly, warm arms were encircling my waist and lifting me from the bench. I didn't need to open my eyes. His smell engulfed me, and I buried my face in his neck as he carried me up the staircase.

I finally opened my eyes when he laid me down against the mattress. My eyes found his, and he was gazing down at me – his expression a mixture of love and fear. I gently brushed my fingers across his face as he began to slowly undress me. The air was cool against my naked skin, and I watched as he pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it aside. Within moments, he was pressed against me, skin-on-skin, and it was like coming home.

His fingers threaded through my hair as I clung to him, and we made love unhurriedly. The only sounds that could be heard were the squeaking of the bed and our soft moans.

* * *

He kissed me sweetly as our breathing slowed, and he finally fell back against the mattress, pulling me onto his chest. I could hear the rapid beating of his heart, and I closed my eyes in contentment as his fingers drifted through my hair.

"I hope this was your bedroom."

"It was," Edward whispered against my hair. "God, I was so scared, Bella."

I lifted my head. "Why?"

"Because I got a call from Felix," he murmured gently. "I'm sorry that James got that close to you, baby."

I stiffened in his arms. So Felix was still watching over me. Edward must have felt my tension because he hugged me closer to his chest and kissed the top of my head.

"Edward, I need to talk to you about James."

"Bella, he won't bother you anymore."

"He wasn't bothering me," I whispered softly. There was honestly no way that I could keep this from him. We had been so careful about being honest from the very beginning, and I knew that I couldn't start hiding things now. I sat up on the bed so that I could see his face. "He offered me a job in his administration."

Edward's eyes rose in surprise. "You've got to be kidding me."

"As his press secretary."

"The nerve of that bastard," Edward growled. "What was his reaction when you told him to go to hell?"

I stared down at my knotted fingers. "I didn't tell him anything."

The bedroom was deathly quiet. After a few moments, I felt his finger below my chin, and he gently lifted my face.

"Don't tell me you're seriously considering this."

I swallowed. "My salary would be tripled."

"I don't give a shit if it's quadrupled!" Edward bellowed. "There's no way in hell you're working for that bastard."

"Don't scream. Your mother is downstairs."

"No, my mother left as soon as I arrived. She called me because she thought that I needed to know that you were upset about something, and now I find that it's because you're seriously considering a job offer from that asshole. He had you _followed_, Bella. Are you insane? Don't you see what he's doing?"

"I don't suppose there's any way that we could talk about this calmly and rationally?"

"Hell no!" Edward growled. "There is nothing to discuss. Have you forgotten how scared you were when he kept sending those flowers? How your only thought was on the security of our child?"

"That's all that I'm thinking about now. The security of our child."

"_I_ will take care of our child," Edward shrieked. "This is about the money, isn't it? You think that just because Miller is willing to pay you a triple figure salary that your life will be happy and secure? He's a maniac, Bella. He wants you, and he doesn't give a shit that you're mine and that you are pregnant with my child!"

"I'm not yours," I whispered.

My heart was his, but I didn't belong to anyone.

"The hell you aren't," Edward murmured. "You are mine, body and soul, and you know it. I love you. I love you so much that I can barely breathe. Did you honestly believe for one second that I was going to allow you to put yourself and our baby in danger by working for that man?"

"I don't want to fight with you. I didn't want to keep this from you. I'm simply telling you that he made me an offer, and I'd be crazy not to consider it."

Edward leaned back against the headboard and watched me carefully. His eyes were blazing and penetrating, but I looked right back into those green eyes and held strong.

"Over my dead body," he murmured darkly.

He was too pissed to be rational. I climbed off the bed and quickly dressed. I felt his eyes on me as I buttoned my blouse, and I ignored his penetrating gaze as I zipped up my jeans.

"I love you," I said as I wrapped my hand around the door knob. I couldn't look at him.

"Do you?" His voice trembled, and I nearly wept. How could he doubt that?

"Yes," I replied, "but I've been making my own decisions for a very long time."

"Things are different now," Edward reminded me quietly. "It's not just about you anymore."

I nodded as I fumbled with the door knob. "I know that."

"Don't walk out on me," he whispered softly, tearing my heart in two.

"Don't treat me like a child."

"Don't act like one."

I brushed my tears away as I stepped out, closing the door behind me.

* * *

**EPOV**

"A double," I slurred, placing the cold glass against my temple. The bartender shot me a look but poured the drink anyway. My head was pounding and the bright lights of the club weren't helping. Shit was sliding in and out of focus, but that was preferable to the hell that was playing in a continuous loop inside of my head.

It had been twelve hours since she'd walked out of my bedroom. Twelve hours since I'd yelled in her face. Twelve hours since the girl I loved more than anything turned into a complete stranger right before my eyes.

Considering Miller's job proposal was insanity. Hell, I was drunk off my ass, and even in my deeply inebriated state, I could still see what the bastard was doing. Obviously, I hadn't been clear enough when I'd told him to stay away from her.

I would rectify that – just as soon as I could walk out the door.

Bella had walked away from me, and I had let her. I wasn't chasing her – not this time. She could bat those beautiful doe eyes and flutter her eyelashes, but this was one time when she wouldn't get her way.

There was no way in hell she was working for that man.

_Money. _

It was the root of all evil…the death of so many marriages.

_Marriage._

I had actually told the girl that I wanted to marry her. Had she even heard me? And if so, did she even care?

Surely, she wasn't this shallow. She'd never been preoccupied with money before. She'd always seemed completely oblivious to the fact that my family was wealthy. Of course, we never really talked about it.

Obviously, we hadn't talked about a lot of things.

I downed my drink, and the bartender finally cut me off. It was just as well. There wasn't enough alcohol on the planet to make this shit many sense.

"You look like hell," a smooth voice whispered in my ear. "Rough day at the office?"

I inwardly groaned. At least, I hoped it was inwardly. Tanya always did have trouble deciphering between my sounds, and the last thing I wanted to do was give her false hope.

"Tanya."

I glanced at her, and she smirked as she ordered herself a drink. She looked like sin, of course. Skin-tight white blouse with the top two buttons undone. A long pencil skirt and stilettos. She was every man's fantasy.

_Every man, except for this one._

"How much have you had to drink?" Tanya asked curiously.

"Not nearly enough," I muttered, pushing my rock glass away. "What are you doing in Seattle?"

"Finalizing that bank merger," she shrugged as she sipped her drink. "Remember, I told you all about it."

I didn't remember, but I pretended that I did. We made small talk for a while before I finally began to feel the effects of the alcohol in my system.

"You looked tired, baby," Tanya cooed in my ear. "I'm in town for the next two days. Why don't you and I call ourselves a cab and book a room at the Hilton? My treat."

I glanced her way, and when I was finally able to focus on her face, I was reminded at how effortless it had been between Tanya and me. No strings. No expectations. No feelings. No heartache.

If Bella could consider dumbass moves, why couldn't I?

* * *

Twenty-four hours later, I was nursing a hangover from hell when I heard the vibration of my cell coming from my nightstand. I groaned as I rolled over, opening one eye to notice the name on the screen.

"This better be good, Em," I muttered as I leaned back against the pillow.

"Get to the hospital," my brother said, his voice stricken with panic. "I don't know what's wrong. I just know that Bella called Mom, Mom called Dad, and Dad insisted we get her to the hospital. Why the hell haven't you been answering your calls?"

"Wait a damn minute!" I yelled as I bolted out of bed. "Dad insisted we get _who _to the hospital?"

"Bella," Emmett whispered.


	19. Forgive Me

**AN: The previous chapter is my most reviewed chapter in this story so far. I can't tell you how many PMs I've received, asking me to please promise that Edward didn't cheat. Thank you so much for all of the reviews, even the not-so-happy ones. They made me write faster, as you can see.**

**Did he or didn't he? Let's find out. But first, a little Bella POV to give us a look at what happened to her during their separation.**

**I have two chapter songs for this chapter. Both are called "Forgive Me." One is by Missy Higgins and the other is by Evanescence. I highly suggest listening to both while you read or after you read this chapter. You can listen to both on my Songbird playlist. The link is in my profile.**

* * *

**Chapter 19**

_**Forgive Me**_

**BPOV**

_He isn't coming home._

I stared at my alarm clock – the red letters taunting me, reminding me that with every passing minute, I was all alone. I had walked out on him, and he hadn't chased after me.

I had expected him to chase me. I had expected texts and flowers and sweet love notes, because as mad as I was at him, and as mad as he was at me, I still believed that he loved me. I still believed that he'd come home to me. I still believed he would come home to us.

_He isn't coming home._

I had been awake for two days. I couldn't eat. I couldn't think. I couldn't believe that I had pushed him away. I couldn't believe that my desire to be an equal provider for our child had led us to this place – to this cold, dark place that was threatening to suffocate me.

No amount of money was worth this.

I wouldn't take that job. I would even quit my job at the newspaper and I would be a stay-at-home mother if that's what he wanted. I would do anything he asked, if it meant that he would come back to me.

_So much for being an independent woman._

Screw independence. It was my independence that had driven him away. It was my independence that made me consider a job offer from a man who made my skin crawl. I had been such an absolute fool in thinking that, somehow, this job offer was a good one. James Miller was a stalking lunatic, and I had actually considered working for him? I knew Edward would hate the idea and I _still_ considered it?

I sat up in bed, pressing my back against the headboard and pulling my knees to my chest. I wrapped my arms around my legs and rocked frantically, trying to rock away my tears and anguish. I had done nothing but cry.

Earlier, I had given the delivery boy from the baby superstore a heart attack when I had signed for the nursery furniture. He had pushed the unassembled crib into the nursery, and I had instantly begun to bawl.

"Mr. Cullen wished to assemble the crib himself," the boy muttered as he noticed my anxious reaction. The fact that the crib was unassembled wasn't what was bothering me. It was the fact that I would have to assemble it all by myself that was causing me to panic. I had quickly and loudly slammed the nursery door as soon as the rest of the furniture was in the room.

It was so beautiful, but I just couldn't look at it.

My rocking became frantic as I allowed myself to be consumed by the voices that were running through my mind. I could hear my mother, warning me that I would end up alone. I could hear Rose, cautioning me that Edward would react this way. I could hear Edward, screaming at me and calling me a child.

My chest tightened and my heart began to beat rapidly as their taunting voices mingled, and I heard myself scream for them to stop. I was panting and my hands were trembling. Why are my hands shaking? Why can't I breathe?

Something's wrong with me.

Something's wrong with the baby.

The room was spinning in and out of focus. I closed my eyes and fumbled for my phone lying on the nightstand and hit one of the speed dials. I had no idea which one until I heard Esme's voice on the other end.

"Bella?"

"I can't…breathe," I stammered – my hands shaking so badly that I nearly dropped the phone. Thankfully, she didn't ask any more questions, and the next thing I knew, Esme and Carlisle were in my bedroom, and my daughter's grandfather was cradling me to his chest and carrying me out of my apartment.

* * *

**EPOV**

I've never been a religious man, but during my frenzied drive to the hospital, I found myself bartering my soul.

"Please let them be okay," I whispered tearfully. "I'll do anything…give anything…just tell me what you want. Tell me what I need to do…"

Traffic was creeping on the freeway, and I angrily wiped away my tears. Surely God wasn't _this_ angry with me. Surely he wouldn't take them away from me. Surely he wouldn't rip my soul out of me. Surely he wouldn't do that – _not again_.

I wouldn't survive it again.

Divine intervention must have led my car to the hospital, because when I finally focused on my surroundings, I was there. I rushed through the emergency room doors and immediately crashed into my brother's iron chest.

"Whoa, whoa…" Emmett grabbed my arms and held me steady. "Calm down, Edward."

"Don't tell me to calm down!" I replied through gritted teeth. "Where is she?"

"You have to calm down first," Emmett coaxed me as he pulled me toward the waiting area. "You can't see her like this."

"For the love of God, please tell me where she is," I whispered painfully. Tears were streaming down my cheeks. The last time I had cried was thirteen years ago. It wasn't the same hospital, but the smell was the same. I hated the scent of hospitals – that medicinal aroma that I would forever equate with the most heartbreaking day of my life.

Why the hell wouldn't he let me see her?

"She's sleeping," Emmett murmured as he pulled me down into one of the waiting room chairs. "The girl is absolutely exhausted."

"Tell me she's okay," I begged softly.

"She's okay."

I exhaled a shaky breath. "And the baby?"

Emmett nodded. "The baby's fine, too."

Relief flowed through me as I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the wall. "What the hell happened?"

"Carlisle says she had a panic attack," Emmett murmured softly. "The panic attack made her blood pressure spike. I don't know the difference between a systolic or diastolic, but apparently, her numbers were off the chart."

Guilt flooded me, and I buried my head in my hands.

"It's my fault."

"Why would you say that?"

"We had a fight. It was so bad. God, I screamed at her, and then I let her walk away from me. I didn't go home…"

"Speaking of that," Emmett interrupted. "Where the hell have you been? We've been trying to call for hours."

"I was asleep."

"Asleep?"

I looked him in the eye. "Fine, I was passed out drunk."

Emmett exhaled sharply. "You're an idiot."

"I know."

"No, you don't know!" Emmett's voice echoed down the hall. "The mother of your child needed you! I thought you'd grown up. I thought being a father and falling in love would straighten your ass up. But you're still the same irresponsible, arrogant ass you've always been!"

"That's not true."

_I am a changed man. Tanya Denali can attest to the fact. _

Tanya would probably never speak to me again, and I was fine with that. She never did like to be ignored _or_ denied, and I'd shattered her ego by refusing her invitation. It would have been so easy to have said yes, but she wasn't carrying my baby, and she wasn't my girl.

I only wanted my girl.

"Couples fight," Emmett sighed heavily. "If you get drunk each and every time you two have a fight, you're going to be a raging alcoholic. Grow the hell up, Cullen."

"Don't preach to me. Just tell me where she is."

"Room 212," Emmett murmured. "If you upset her, I swear I'll kick your ass."

I quickly rose to my feet. "If I upset her, I'll let you."

I tried to ignore the familiar smells of the hospital as I made my way to the elevator and onto the second floor. I found her door and pushed it quietly, praying to God I wouldn't wake her. I saw my mother first, keeping vigil next to the bed. Bella was lying against the pillow, her hair splayed across the stark white pillow case. She looked so exhausted, and I was grateful to see that she was sleeping. My mother's fingertips were softly brushing across Bella's forehead – soothing and reverent.

"Please let me do that."

My mother smiled at me and rose from her seat. I leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to Bella's cheek. I gently pulled back the blanket and placed a kiss against her stomach, and I heard my mother sniffle quietly from the other side of the room. Pulling my chair closer, I softly ran my fingers across Bella's heart-shaped face, and she sighed in her sleep. With that sweet sigh, I felt my own body relax.

"I love watching you with her," Esme whispered. "She's brought you back to life."

I nodded, too afraid to speak. Bella was resting so comfortably, and the last thing I wanted to do was disturb her. Instead, I just stared at her and listened to her steady breathing, letting her close proximity ground me and soothe me.

Time slowly passed. At some point, Dr. Molina came into the room and whispered that Bella's blood pressure was much better and that the baby was perfectly fine. He wished to keep her overnight for observation, just to be safe. He also mentioned something about possible bed rest if her blood pressure continued to be an issue. I promised him that I would do everything in my power to keep her calm. He had smiled kindly and reminded me about visiting hours, but he must have seen the panicked look on my face, because he immediately assured me that the staff would be bringing me a cot.

There was no way I was leaving her side. I was glad he understood.

Hours later, Bella finally began to stir in her sleep, and I felt her fingers tighten around my hand that was holding hers.

"Edward…"

"I'm right here, Songbird," I whispered softly. Her eyes fluttered open, and her beautiful brown eyes settled on me.

"Is the baby okay?"

"The baby's fine," I promised her.

She sighed softly as tears filled her eyes.

"Are _we_ okay?"

I smiled and pulled her hand to my lips. "We're perfect. Everything's going to be just fine."

"You have to forgive me," she whimpered, her eyes wild with fear.

"Shhh…" I pressed each of her fingertips to my lips as I placed a soft to kiss to each one. "There's nothing to forgive, baby."

"I was so stupid," Bella moaned. "I'm so sorry…"

"I was stupid, too, and I'm sorry," I murmured, wiping her tears away with my knuckles. "I'm so sorry that I yelled at you, and I'm so very sorry that I upset you so much. I swear it will never happen again."

"Please don't leave me. Not ever…"

I quickly rose from my chair and pulled back the blanket. The bed was small, but I'd be damned if I was going to sit here and watch her cry herself into another panic attack. I laid back against the pillow and pulled her close to my chest, letting my fingers slide through the silky tendrils of her hair.

"There," I whispered as I felt her relax against me. "You have to stay calm, sweetheart. It's not good for the baby for you to be so upset."

She sniffled quietly as she raised her face toward mine. "Say you forgive me."

I smiled down at her and softly kissed her nose. "I forgive you, Songbird. Do you forgive me?"

"I forgive you."

"Thank you."

Her eyes closed, and I brushed away her tears before pulling her close to my chest. "You're my whole world, Songbird."

"And you're mine."

We had so much more to say, but it could wait. I pressed my lips to her hair and held her close, and we both drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

The next morning, Bella was discharged from the hospital under strict orders from her doctor to stay relaxed and calm. He wanted to see her in his office each week for a blood pressure check, and he requested that she cut back on her hours at the newspaper.

I promised to do my best to keep her calm, and the first step in that endeavor was to accept Carlisle and Esme's offer of a weekend getaway to their cabin in Mt. Rainer National Park. The timing was perfect, the drive was a quick one, and the location was serene. I wanted to get Bella away from the city and just take some time to reconnect. We needed to talk through our issues before we could move ahead, and the cabin would give us the seclusion we both desired.

We were both still exhausted from the last few days, so it was a quiet drive as we traveled south toward the park. We held hands the entire time and Bella played with my iPod, and when we did talk, it was about the scenery or the music floating from the speakers. We had some heavy shit to deal with, but we seemed to have an unspoken understanding that we'd save those topics for the cabin for when we could really concentrate on each other.

The cabin was just as beautiful as I remembered it, and Bella seemed in awe of the vaulted ceilings of the living room. The cabin was rustic, but the accommodations were anything but. The kitchen was fully stocked and the fireplace was roaring in the living room. We walked through the rest of the downstairs and out onto the back deck where Bella gazed wistfully at the Jacuzzi. I suddenly remembered that the baby book forbid them. I smiled softly at her and offered her my hand, and we walked together up the stairs and into the master bedroom. Her eyes immediately gravitated to the double French doors that provided a majestic view of the mountains.

"Wow," she whispered.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

She nodded as I placed our suitcases on the bed. Quietly, we unpacked, moving around each other carefully. As we moved around the room, our bodies would inevitably brush against each other, and we'd smile shyly and continue with our tasks.

"Hungry?"

"Starving," she smiled at me. "I'm guessing you aren't going to let me cook tonight."

Truthfully, Bella was a much better cook than I could ever be, but I _had_ planned on forcing her to sit on the couch while I cooked dinner for the two of us. However, this weekend was about new beginnings, honesty, and compromises.

"Would you like to help me cook?"

Her eyes twinkled. "I would love to help you cook."

Bella moved around the kitchen as if she'd lived here her entire life. My assigned tasks were to butter the bread and to chop vegetables for the salad, but I couldn't do either of those things because I was too busy watching her. She was wearing a bulky sweater and yoga pants that showed none of her curves and not a trace of skin, and still, she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. Her hair was pulled tightly in a ponytail, allowing me a beautiful view of the curve of her neck. I was suddenly overwhelmed with the sheer need to touch her – just to make sure she was real. Just to prove to myself that she'd forgiven me, and that she loved me, and that we were okay.

_You could have lost her._

The enormity of that truth made the knife tremble in my hand.

"Are you okay?" Bella asked, her voice laced with concern. She had just finished grilling the chicken and had placed each piece on a plate.

I offered her a smile. "I'm fine, baby."

She went back to the stove, and I tried to focus on my tasks without chopping off one of my fingers.

Dinner was delicious, and after we finished loading the dishwasher, we made our way into the living room.

"Would you like to watch a movie?"

"I'm kind of tired. Could we watch television upstairs?"

"Of course," I smiled, and once again, I offered my hand and led her up the staircase.

There were three bathrooms in the cabin, so we parted ways just long enough to shower and get ready for bed. Bella was already lying in bed by the time I made my way back into the bedroom, and she was impatiently flipping through the channels.

"There's nothing on."

I laughed as I collapsed against the pillows. "Bella, there are eight hundred channels."

She sighed and finally just turned off the television. "Could we just talk about the things we need to talk about so that we can enjoy our weekend?"

I couldn't help but grin. My Songbird had zero patience.

"Sure, let's talk."

Bella climbed into my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck. I nuzzled her nose with mine as I ran my fingers through her hair, now free from the confines of her ponytail.

"Before we begin, I think it's very important that you know that I love you with all my heart."

She smiled, her brown eyes warm and soft. "I love you just as much. I was so afraid…so afraid I'd never get to say those words to you ever again."

"I was just giving you some time," I murmured. "You left me…"

"I'm sorry. I just thought we needed to cool off. You were so angry with me."

"I was scared for you. Why Bella? Why would you want to work for him?"

Bella sighed. "I didn't want to work for him. I just wanted the salary he was offering. I had this crazy idea that we needed to provide equally for our family, and I'd never be able to do that while working for the paper."

"You've never been fixated on money," I reminded her.

"No," she agreed. "But growing up, we always struggled with money, whether I was living with my father or Renee. I don't want that for our baby. I know you're wealthy, but I want to be a good provider, as well."

"I understand that, but working for James wasn't the answer. You had to know that."

"I did," Bella nodded. "Truthfully, I was just considering it. I don't think I would have accepted the offer. But the fact that you were so against it – the fact that you wouldn't even discuss it with me – just sent me over the edge. I want to be able to talk to you about things, even if it's stupid things. I need to know that even if I make mistakes, you'll still love me."

"I can accept that," I agreed. "As long as you accept that if I think you're going to be in danger, I'm going to do everything in my power to prevent it…and that you'll still love me even if I'm overprotective."

"Agreed. But sweetheart, you can't protect me from everything."

I kissed the tip of her nose. "Watch me."

She giggled as she nuzzled my cheek. "Okay."

I snuggled her close to me. "Have you had panic attacks before?"

She nodded. "Yeah, when I was younger – back when Renee and Charlie were going through their divorce. I saw a counselor at school, and she taught me how to control them. I hadn't had one in so long that I didn't really recognize what was happening to me. It was scary. I immediately thought something was wrong with the baby."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"I just grabbed my phone and hit a speed dial button. I had no idea who I'd called until your mother said my name, and then suddenly, they were there."

"My parents?"

"Your dad carried me out of the apartment," Bella whispered.

Guilt overwhelmed me. "I'm sorry I wasn't there, baby."

"I left you, remember?" Bella shrugged. "They tried to call you once I was admitted. Where did you go?"

I sighed heavily. "I got drunk and crashed at my apartment."

"Oh."

I took a deep breath. "As long as we're being honest, I should probably tell you something that happened at the bar."

She stiffened in my arms. "Okay…"

"I ran into one of my old…whatever you want to call her. I never really had _girlfriends_…"

She nodded.

"Umm…she invited me back to her hotel. I declined, and she called me a cab and sent me home. So absolutely nothing happened. I just thought you should know."

Bella nodded slowly. "Was it Tanya?"

"You know Tanya?"

"I googled her," Bella admitted. "Actually, I just googled your girlfriends, and she popped up." She stared down at her knotted fingers. "She's very pretty."

"She's not important."

"Why did you turn her down?"

"Because she wasn't you," I whispered. I trailed my fingertip from her temple to her chin, and she closed her eyes. "All I want is you, Songbird."

She opened her eyes, and they were shining. "I have a confession, too."

"Okay."

"I heard you tell me that you wanted to marry me."

I grinned. "I wondered if you heard that."

"I did."

I brought her hand to my lips. "What do you think about that?"

She watched as I placed a kiss to each of her fingers. "I think you should know that I'm not opposed to living in sin."

I chuckled. "I bet your father would have other ideas."

"Please, I recall a hundred dollar bet between the two of you." Then she grimaced. "Besides, that man owes me. Seeing Sue Clearwater's naked ass riding my father has given me _years_ of ammunition against Charlie Swan."

"Very true," I conceded. "But still, are you saying you wouldn't say yes if I proposed?"

She considered this. "Did you know that two out of three marriages end in divorce?"

"I'm well aware," I nodded. "Why do you think I'm such a successful attorney?"

"Hmm…" Bella mused, turning her eyes away from me and gazing out the window. After a few quiet moments, she turned back to me. "I don't want to end up like my parents."

"We won't," I whispered tenderly. "We'll end up like mine."

Her chocolate eyes sparkled.

"We could have screwed it up so badly. Yet here we are."

"Here we are," I murmured against her cheek. "You are the love of my life, Songbird, and I will propose to you someday. You need to be prepared for when that day comes, so that you'll answer with the correct response."

She smiled and wrapped her arms around my neck once again.

"And the correct response would be?"

"Yes," I whispered. "The correct response would be yes."

Bella giggled, and I leaned close, kissing her softly. I should have pushed her off my lap, pulled her to the edge, and dropped to both knees, begging her to marry me. But I didn't have a ring, and we were just coming off of an emotional few days. I didn't want to propose without a ring, and I didn't want her to think that I was proposing just because we'd had a fight. The timing wasn't right, but it would be someday.

Someday the timing would be perfect.

We made love, and it was careful and sweet and just what we needed to cement our commitment. Later that night, as I held her close to me, I whispered a silent prayer, thanking God for everything he'd given me. I thanked Him for my family, and I thanked Him for protecting the two most precious souls in my life.

I'd never been a religious man, but tonight, I was.


	20. You Make It Real For Me

**AN: With the last chapter, I forgot to give proper credit and love to my beta, Shaina. She is my biggest cheerleader and occasionally allows me to begin my sentences with conjunctions. :) I love you, girl. Also, thanks to Katmom who has generously offered to pre-read. It's nice to have such supportive people checking over my chapters before I share them with the masses.**

**To all of my readers, thank you, as well. My reviews per chapter are just staggering, and I appreciate them so much.**

**Time is moving along in this chapter. Chapter title comes from James Morrison.**

* * *

_**Chapter 20**_

_**You Make It Real For Me**_

* * *

**BPOV**

The cemetery was peaceful and serene, just as you'd expect a cemetery to be. It was beautiful, with pink and yellow wildflowers growing between the marble stones. Edward had planned out the entire day, and while this stop along the way had been a definite surprise, I could see by the expression on his face that this moment was important to him. Therefore, it was important to me.

Today, I was meeting Jane.

During the past month, Edward and I had fallen back into our comfortable routine. The weekend getaway to his parents' cabin had been the perfect setting to reconnect and talk through our issues. We had returned to Seattle with gigantic smiles on our faces and with renewed purposes in our hearts. The number one priority on Edward's list was to keep me calm at all times. The blood pressure scare had frightened both of us, so I was more than willing to follow the rules, which included part-time hours at the newspaper during the day, meditation and yoga in the afternoon, and early bedtimes with Edward at night. We also made an effort to spend more time with his family who had been nothing but wonderful to me during my breakdown.

The only slightly nerve-wracking event that was currently happening in our lives was that we were now on the search for the perfect house.

The house hunting hadn't been a priority until we realized – after close inspection of the baby furniture – that there was really no way to make it all fit in the room we'd deemed the nursery. Besides, after much discussion, we'd both realized that we wanted a house in which to raise our daughter. Not that my high-rise apartment in downtown Seattle was slumming it, but there was just something about having a house that filled me with so much happiness. Edward had immediately called some realtors, and we had checked out a few houses throughout the past few weeks. None of them really had everything we were looking for, so the hunt continued. We had a couple of appointments scheduled for this afternoon, and we were excited to see the places the realtor had chosen for us.

But, as exciting as house hunting could be, this stop along the way was much more important and meaningful.

Edward gazed down at the grave maker, and I watched as he silently traced the letters of her name.

"This is Bella," he announced softly, and I could hear the pride in his voice. "I wanted you to meet her…officially."

He held my hand in his as he spent time with his sister, and as much as he loved me, I couldn't help but feel that I was intruding on a sacred moment between a brother and a sister. But anytime I tried to step away, Edward just held my hand tighter. There were a few instances when I saw him wipe away a tear, and it just shattered my heart. I'd seen Edward emotional, but this was a side of him that I'd never fully comprehended – the tortured brother who ached for his sister so much that it brought him to tears.

It only made me love him that much more.

He was quiet as we made our way down the highway and toward the first of three houses we were to view today. It wasn't an awkward silence; it was merely a man lost in his thoughts, and I was content to let him have this time to himself. He still held my hand tightly in his, and occasionally, I would feel his fingertips graze my knuckles.

We turned onto I-90 and then took the 405 north toward Bellevue. Our comfortable silence was broken when I gasped as we turned toward the neighborhood of Bridle Trails. Million dollar homes surrounded us on each side, and my mouth dropped as Edward pulled into the driveway of quite possibly the most beautiful home I'd ever seen.

"I know it looks big," Edward murmured as he turned off the ignition, "but it's really homey and comfortable on the inside."

"You've seen it?"

"Just pictures from their online brochure," Edward explained softly.

"It's so pretty," I whispered, and Edward smiled as he opened his door and made his way to my side. He took my hand as he helped me out of the car, and I finally took my eyes off the house long enough to notice our realtor's Escalade parked in the driveway. I looked toward the front door, and there she stood, waving excitedly.

"Carmen," Edward smiled at her when we made our way to the front porch. "Thanks for showing this to us on such short notice."

"Oh, it's my pleasure," Carmen smiled. She was bubbly and old enough to be our grandmother. I had loved her from the moment we met. "How are you feeling, Bella?"

"I feel great," I grinned at her. "This is gorgeous."

"Isn't it?" Carmen replied happily as she led us through the spacious family room. With the pleasantries out of the way, suddenly she was all business. "The home has four bedrooms and four baths. It has a den and remodeled kitchen with cherry wood cabinets, granite counter tops, and brand new stainless steel appliances."

I was in awe as we followed Carmen to the den, and Edward pulled me against his chest as he whispered in my ear, "I remember your fondness for fireplaces. This place has three."

I blushed as visions of our weekend flashed in my head. We had made love in front of the cabin's fireplace.

Three times.

"There's a hot tub," Carmen noted as she pointed to the deck through the garden window. "Of course, that'll have to wait until after the baby is born, but it's a wonderful feature of the home. Oh, and there's the tennis court out back."

"Do you play tennis?" I asked Edward with a whisper.

"Nope."

I giggled as Carmen continued her sales pitch. The master bedroom was massive, and while the other bedrooms weren't as large, they were definitely larger than the bedrooms in my apartment. The bedroom closest to the master bedroom would be perfect for a nursery, and I could see Edward mentally measuring to make sure all of that beautiful baby furniture would fit. She concluded her spiel by telling us about the great school district and friendly neighborhood atmosphere, but it was unnecessary. I loved it. And by the look on Edward's face, he loved it, too.

"I'll give you two a moment," Carmen smiled, and she made her way down the stairs.

"What do you think?" Edward murmured, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me close.

"Do I even want to know the price tag?"

This wasn't about my money worries. I thought it was a legitimate question. The house had a tennis court, for crying out loud.

Edward sighed as his eyes searched mine. "That doesn't answer my question. Tell me what you think, and then I'll tell you how much it costs."

"I love it," I whispered. "What's not to love? It's beautiful and it's perfect for us."

Edward smiled happily. "Good. I love it, too."

"How much?"

"Under a million," Edward whispered, and I rolled my eyes. We'd set a budget, and he'd convinced me that we'd never find what we wanted for less than that amount. Apparently, the Seattle real estate market was ridiculous.

"How much under a million?"

"Not much," he confessed with a grimace. "But is this what you want? _That's_ what's most important."

My eyes ghosted along the hardwood floors and the French doors of the master bedroom. It was everything I could ever want in a house – minus the tennis court, of course. I turned my attention back to the man I loved, and I could see the excitement in his eyes. He was willing to buy this beautiful home for our family.

How could I possibly say no?

"I want it," I whispered.

Edward's answering smile made me weak in the knees.

"Then it's yours," he said softly.

* * *

After my nightly blood pressure check (110/70, thank you very much), we were lying in our usual nighttime position – me on my back and Edward's head close to my tummy as he read to the baby. Tonight's story was _The Velveteen Rabbit_. I closed my eyes and ran my fingers through his copper hair as his velvet voice washed over me.

_"What is real?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?" _

_"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become real." _

_"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit. _

_"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are real you don't mind being hurt." _

_"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?" _

_"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand." _

I smiled softly as I gazed down at the man I loved…the man who wanted to be my husband. We had so much to learn about each other, but I knew the important things.

The _real_ things.

Edward loves me, and he is going to be a wonderful father to our daughter. He will be like Charlie – laid-back but protective…firm but loving. Edward will never make our child feel like a burden, or a mistake, or a nuisance. His love for our child will be unconditional and real.

Suddenly, a fluttering in my stomach made me gasp, and Edward jerked his head away from my tummy.

"What was that?" I whispered anxiously.

His eyes were wide as he leapt from the bed and raced toward the living room. Within moments, he was back with the baby book. I pressed my fingertips to my stomach and held my breath as he excitedly began to read.

"The first movements can occur anywhere between the 16th and 20th week," Edward read aloud. "The sensation may feel like a _quickening_, or butterflies in the tummy."

I nodded. "That's exactly how it felt." I gasped again as the sensation surprised me, and I traced the skin with my fingertips. Was she moving? Is that what I was feeling?

"Edward?"

His blazing eyes met mine as he dropped the book to the floor. "Yes?"

"Come here," I whispered. "Come feel your daughter move."

His smile was breathtaking as he crawled back onto the bed. I took his hand in mine and pressed it to my stomach – just as another fluttering rippled across the surface. My breath hitched, and Edward's eyes were wide with excitement.

"She's really in there," he whispered in amazement. "I mean, I _know_ she's in there, but…"

"I know," I murmured as I laced my fingers with his as we continued touching my tummy. "She's just more real now."

"Have you ever felt that before?" Edward asked softly.

"Not that I've noticed," I replied. "Maybe she liked your story. You have the sweetest voice. I bet she loves to hear it."

His eyes sparkled. "I'll read it every night if it means that she'll do _that_."

For the next hour, we lay quietly with our fingers pressed against my tummy, but the baby apparently decided she was done entertaining us for the night because I didn't feel it again. I couldn't be disappointed, though. I knew this was just the beginning of so many wonderful moments just like this for the two of us. Important moments. Real moments.

And I couldn't wait to share them all with him.

* * *

_**The Velveteen Rabbit**_** is ****by Margery Williams.**

**I just have one word to say about the Seattle real estate market - Outrageous! **

**I have a rec for you: _Isabella after Dark _by Oliviamk1218. So good!**

**I know this was a short chapter, but you got two updates this week, and I needed more fluff. Hope this was okay. :) Time is moving along, and Bella is in her sixth month. Lots of fun stuff ahead. Moving into the new house, a baby shower, and somebody needs to propose soon. :)**

**As always, I love to hear what you think.**


	21. Can The Child Within My Heart Rise Above

**AN: Thank you to everyone who has been reading/reviewing/recommending. As always, much love to my beta Shaina and pre-reader Katmom. **

**The Glove Awards and Golden Lemon Awards are over, and my little stories didn't win, but I thank all of you for your votes and support. The winners are amazingly talented people. I have entered a new anonymous FF contest. Details are at the bottom.**

**Chapter title is "Landslide" by Stevie Nicks.**

* * *

**Chapter 21**

_**Can the Child Within My Heart Rise Above?**_

* * *

**EPOV**

**"**Fucking _Slot A goes into Slot B_ bullshit," I groaned as I tried to join the sideboards.

"Perhaps this is why it says _**Read These Instructions First**_, in big bold letters," Emmett smirked as he pointed toward the booklet.

The damn instruction manual was the size of Bella's baby book. This was just a rectangle! How hard could it be to put together a crib?

We had moved into the new house a month ago. Carlisle, Jasper, and Em had helped us unload boxes while Esme, Alice, and Rose had handled the interior designing. Bella and I could care less about colors and fabrics, so I'd handed Alice my credit card and told her to go nuts.

"She loves to shop," Jasper had cautioned me, "especially with someone else's money."

After looking at my credit card statement, I had to agree with him. But I really didn't mind because a week later, the house was fully furnished and looking beautiful. Most importantly, it had all been done without adding one ounce of stress to Bella's life.

Her baby bump was no longer a mere _bump_. Her tummy was now round and beautiful. While I loved every inch of skin, Bella was becoming more uncomfortable while performing everyday tasks. Her back was beginning to ache and her feet were swollen at the end of the day, even with the reduced hours at work. Dr. Molina promised this was all just a part of pregnancy. Bella never complained, but I could tell by the expression on her face when she was a feeling even the slightest discomfort, so I spent my evenings rubbing her sore back while she elevated her feet. I hated that she was suffering, but I loved taking care of her…and I loved that she was letting me.

"Dude!" Emmett's booming voice brought me back to reality. "That's _Slot C_. No wonder it won't fit."

I looked down, and sure enough – a bright red C was displayed on the label.

"Fuck it," I moaned, tossing the pieces back onto the carpet. "Why didn't I just have this thing assembled at the store?"

"Because this is part of the baby experience," Emmett reminded me as he read the instruction manual. "Besides, I'll need your help in about seven months. This is good practice for both of us."

Stunned, I dropped the screwdriver onto the floor.

"What did you just say?"

Emmett smiled. "Rose is pregnant. We just found out last week."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "But you just met her! I didn't realize you two were serious."

Emmett merely cocked an eyebrow at me. "Surely we aren't going to start discussing timelines. Are you forgetting that you knocked up Bella the first night you met her?"

_Oh yeah._

"Actually," I muttered, "It could have been the _second _night."

Emmett rolled his eyes. "Either way, I don't believe you have any room to talk, dear brother. So just shut the hell up and be happy for me."

I grinned. "Are you happy?"

"I'm ecstatic." There wasn't a trace of doubt in his voice.

"Then congratulations, man," I smiled. "Are you going to marry her?"

Emmett chuckled. "As soon as you marry Bella."

"Touché," I grinned. "Did I tell you I found the ring?"

"You did?"

"It's at the jeweler being engraved," I nodded.

The ring was simple and beautiful, and the engraving would make it perfect. I couldn't wait to put it on her finger.

Now that we were actually reading and following the manual, the crib was actually beginning to take shape. We worked quietly for the next hour, inserting pieces into the correct slots.

"Now that you've recovered from the shock of finding out she's pregnant," Emmett murmured, "how do you really feel about all of this?"

I sighed softly as I took a long look at our finished product. The crib had taken some time – not to mention a lot of hard work – but everything fit. Everything was in its proper place. What was once in pieces was now whole.

Just like my heart.

Just like my life.

"Words can't describe it," I murmured. "It's like my life is finally complete."

Emmett nodded in understanding. "No regrets?"

I gazed around the room. I was a grown man sitting on the plush carpet of a baby nursery, surrounded by a crib, a changing table, and pastel-colored walls. Somewhere in this gigantic house, the woman I loved was taking a much-needed nap after a restless night of tossing, turning, and frequent baby kicks.

How could I regret a second of _anything_?

"No regrets," I smiled.

* * *

After Bella's nap, she had convinced me to let her hang the curtains. And when I say convinced, I mean that she promised me sex in exchange for letting her stand on the stool. As I held her firmly by the waist, I was seriously reconsidering our deal.

"I wish you'd let me do this," I muttered through gritted teeth.

"Edward, it's just a foot stool," she giggled as she smoothed out the fabric. She was only four inches off the ground, but I was still having a heart attack. "Besides, I'm finished."

Relieved, I pulled her into my arms and helped her down from the stool. I wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my chin on her shoulder as we examined the room around us. Bella had spent a few hours putting the finishing touches on the nursery, folding and re-folding baby clothes and putting them in the drawers. We'd even opened the diapers and placed them in the diaper stacker. Everything was ready.

"Now we just need the baby," Bella whispered softly. I smiled against her hair and softly stroked her tummy.

"She'll be here in two months," I murmured happily. "We really need to decide on a name. Oh, and her mom and dad need to have a wedding."

Bella giggled softly. "You aren't enjoying living in sin?"

I smiled against the soft skin of her neck. "Marry me, Bella."

"Hmm," she sighed happily as I kissed the exposed skin of her shoulder. "I think we should pick a baby name first."

"_Then_ you'll marry me?" I asked hopefully. However, I immediately regretted making choosing a baby name part of our deal. The baby name book was bigger than the baby bible, and we'd made a hefty list of possible choices. Unfortunately, this task could take a while. "Why don't I order a pizza for dinner and we'll spend the evening narrowing down our list of names?"

Bella turned around in my arms and gazed up at me. "That sounds perfect. But aren't you forgetting something?"

I glanced around the room. Everything seemed to be in place. "Am I?"

Bella nodded as she began to unbutton my shirt. "I owe you a thank you."

I grinned as her fingers caressed the bare skin of my chest. "It doesn't have to be _now_, baby. We have all night."

"But I want you now," Bella whispered with a pout. "I think we should christen the nursery."

Another extra benefit of all of those surging mommy hormones was that Bella was horny pretty much all the time now. Dr. Molina had cautioned us that this may not last as Bella's pregnancy progressed, so we were taking full advantage of every moment. We'd begun to experiment with different positions to make her feel comfortable during sex, and we'd found that spooning during sex was all kinds of awesome.

Have I mentioned that I'm the luckiest man alive?

My eyes rolled back in my head as Bella slid her palm against my growing erection. "Baby, we should take this to the bedroom."

"This carpet is _really _soft," she grinned at me. She even fluttered her eyelashes a little, and my dick twitched with excitement.

"But the floor might hurt your back," I countered as her hands quickly unsnapped my jeans and underwear.

"Then I guess I'll just have to ride you," Bella smirked sexily as she grabbed my hand and pulled me down onto the carpet.

See? I really am the luckiest man alive.

* * *

**BPOV**

"Audrey?"

I shook my head as Edward marked that name off the list. We were nestled on the couch – me with the baby book in my hand and Edward with our legal pad full of possible baby names.

"Katherine? Elizabeth?"

"Do you have a thing for Hollywood movie actresses?" I smirked as I flipped through the pages. He muttered something before crossing both names off the list.

"Madeline," I whispered as I flipped through the M's. "Or Madalyn, Madelyn…the spelling is apparently optional."

"I like that," Edward nodded as he added it to the list. "We'd call her Maddie?"

"Probably," I grinned. It's not like I'd ever used my full first name. "Which spelling?"

Like complete dorks, we sat there and wrote different variations of Madeline, Madelyn, and Madalyn Cullen on the yellow legal pad.

"She needs a middle name," Edward mused.

"She does," I agreed, and just then, an idea dawned on me. I bit my lip nervously, not knowing what his reaction to my suggestion would be.

"Jane?" I whispered softly. The scratching of pen against paper ceased, and I glanced up into the misty eyes of the man I loved more than anything.

"Really?" His voice was filled with emotion.

"Madalyn Jane Cullen," I whispered with a nod. "What do you think?"

"I think I love it," Edward murmured as he tossed the legal pad onto the floor. He grabbed me by the hand and pulled me into his lap. He pressed his forehead against mine. "I love it, and I love you. Thank you."

Edward leaned close and kissed me sweetly. I could never get enough of kissing him, especially these days – when our kisses usually led to sex in one of the new positions we'd been practicing.

"Our daughter has a name," Edward whispered against my lips. "You know what this means?"

"Hmm?"

"You have to marry me now."

"I guess so," I sighed, as if this was just devastating news.

"Please marry me," Edward whispered against my ear.

I giggled softly and glanced at him. "Is that your official proposal?"

Edward's face fell.

"No."

"No?" I was confused. The man had been begging me to marry him for weeks now.

"I don't have the ring yet," Edward explained with a sigh. "I mean, I have it. It's just being engraved."

"Engraved with what?" I asked excitedly.

Edward smiled as he brushed his nose against mine. "It's a surprise. But I won't propose without a ring, Bella."

I sighed happily. "You're so sentimental. Who knew?"

"You'll love it," he smiled, but then his face flashed with worry. "At least, I hope you'll love it. I think you'll love it…"

"I'll love it," I promised him with a tender kiss.

* * *

It was late, but as usual, I couldn't get comfortable enough to sleep. Edward was snoring peacefully in our bed as I sat in the bay window of our bedroom. I gazed out into the darkness and at the flickering of the street lights, letting the sound of his soft snores relax me as I contemplated the one thing that had been weighing heavily on my mind for the past week or so….

My mother.

My life was pretty perfect, but for some reason, I had been thinking about Renee a lot lately. I was closer to Esme than I'd ever been with my own mother, so I couldn't help but wonder how different my relationship with Renee could have been if only she'd been a little more…._motherly_. More understanding. More compassionate. More encouraging. This was the type of mother I wanted to be for my daughter. I already felt it – this intense, all-encompassing protectiveness for my baby. Had Renee ever felt that way about me, or had I always been just a living, breathing reminder of her lost dreams?

I lifted my gown and ran my hand over my stomach, and while the skin was stretched and taut and I could already see stretch marks, I couldn't help but smile. Our daughter was going to be surrounded by a mom and dad who loved her, three uncles in Emmett, Jasper, and Jake, and two aunts in Rose and Alice. She would also have two incredible grandfathers and a grandmother. Our baby will grow up knowing she is loved and adored.

Isn't that what every little girl wants?

Isn't that what every big girl wants, too?

I looked back at Edward as he slept soundly, his copper hair a sharp contrast to the white of our pillow cases. He and I didn't have to be married for me to know that he loved me more than anything else. His protectiveness – while suffocating at times – was just a product of that love, so it was hard for me to fault him for that. I think I would have fallen in love with him even if I hadn't gotten pregnant, but seeing his excitement about the baby only made me love him more.

Our beginning had been less than traditional, but our forever would be bliss.

As my due date grew closer, I found myself wanting to get everything in my life in its proper order. Getting the new house organized had been easy enough with Hurricane Alice on the job, but there were other aspects of my life that were in desperate need of tidying. My number one priority was solidifying my relationship with Edward. My second was mending my relationship with my mother. One was much easier than the other, but both were important.

It was important to Edward that we be married. I had never felt that same urgency, and I knew that was because I'd never seen a healthy marriage until I met Carlisle and Esme Cullen. Knowing that those types of marriages actually existed gave me hope that signing that piece of paper wouldn't change a thing between us. I have come to realize that I shouldn't let my fears keep me from making a commitment to the man I love. Besides, our daughter deserved to have her parents married to each other, especially when they obviously loved each other so much. Who was I to deny any of us what we wanted and deserved? Ring or no ring - if Edward had proposed tonight, I would have said yes.

Mending my relationship with my mother would be a far more difficult task. I would have to let go of the shame that she'd instilled in me, and I wasn't quite sure how to do that, but I felt that it was important to try. I wanted zero negativity in my life, and while my mother was out of sight, she was certainly not out of mind.

I glanced at the bedside clock and noticed the time. Renee was always a night owl, so I decided to take my chances. I stood up from the bay window and tiptoed to my bedside table. I silently grabbed my phone and leaned down to kiss Edward's cheek before making my way down the hall and into the nursery. I grabbed one of the baby's blankets and wrapped it around me before turning on the small lamp and sitting down in the rocking chair. Taking a deep breath, I dialed my mother's number.

"Hello?" Her voice was a formal whisper.

"Mom? Were you sleeping?"

"Bella?" She sounded surprised to hear my voice. "No, I wasn't asleep. You know me. Phil is sleeping next to me, but I'm wide awake. Let me take the phone into the living room."

I rocked nervously in the chair as I heard my mother make her way into her living room. The house was dead silent except for my rocking, and I made a mental note to add some kind of sound system to the nursery. Madalyn and I would both need soothing music for our future late nights.

"How are you, Bella?"

"I'm good," I replied. "I'm great, actually."

"That's good to hear," Renee said. "I guess the baby is coming soon?"

"Two months," I said as my free hand drummed against my tummy. "We're having a girl."

"Little girls are great," Renee replied softly. "Have you picked a name?"

"Yes," I said. "But we're keeping it quiet for now."

Renee hummed and then grew silent, and the sound of my rocking chair was once again the only sound in my ears. Why had I called? What had possessed me to think this was a good idea?

"We bought a new house," I tried again.

"We?"

"Edward and I."

"I see," Renee said – her tone clipped. "In Seattle?"

"In Bellevue. It's just across Lake Washington."

She was very interested in the details of the house, and I could tell she was impressed as I described the square footage and tennis court. Of course, she _would_ be impressed. It was grand and expensive – two of Renee's favorite things.

"A tennis court, Bella? That doesn't sound like your type of house," Renee murmured.

"The tennis court _is_ ridiculous," I agreed with her. "But the house itself is very homey and beautiful, and that's why we bought it. We really love it here."

"_We_ bought it?" Renee asked. "Don't you mean Edward bought it?"

"No, I mean we bought it," I explained patiently. "He and I bought the house together."

"On your salary?" Renee laughed, and I closed my eyes as her bitter laugh grated on my nerves. "Oh, Bella…it's perfectly fine to admit that Edward is the breadwinner in this relationship. I _am_ glad to see that you're embracing his extravagant lifestyle. He won't marry you, and he won't stay once the baby is born. At least you're letting him lavish you with material possessions. I _knew_ I'd raised an intelligent girl."

I could have told her the truth. I could have said that Edward was begging me to marry him. I could have told her that he'd already picked out my ring. I could have told her that he would never leave me and that I would get the happy ever after she'd never had.

I could have said all of those things, but I didn't. The truth was that she _had_ raised an intelligent girl who was finally seeing clearly for the first time in her life. I now realized that my unplanned arrival had made my mother a bitter person, but that was her fault – not mine. Renee had made the _choice_ to be bitter. Renee had _chosen_ to give up on her dreams and be a stay-at-home mother. Renee had _chosen_ to become fixated on money as a means to happiness. Renee had _chosen_ to leave my father.

I would choose to never be like Renee.

"Your granddaughter will be here in two months," I announced softly into the phone. My voice was calm and resolved. "She will be loved and worshipped and never be made to feel like she ruined my life. She will have a father like I have – a father who is kind and generous and loves her for who she is. She will have a big, wonderful family who wants only the best for her. It is up to you whether you want to be a part of that family."

Renee said nothing in response, and I took that as a sign to end the call. I had a deep desire to tidy up the loose ends of my life, and I had attempted to do that tonight. The ball was now in her court. Whatever she chose to do would not affect my life or the life of my daughter. We would be happy, with or without Renee in our lives.

Contently, I made my way back into the bedroom and noticed that Edward's arm was draped across my side of the bed. Carefully, I lifted his arm and wrapped it around me as I climbed in beneath the blanket. His arm tightened around me as he pulled my back close to his chest.

"Can't you sleep, baby?" He whispered against my ear, and I smiled as I laced my fingers with his.

"Just tidying up."

He sighed softly as I nestled deeper into his embrace.

"Edward?" I whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Will you marry me?"

* * *

**I have entered an anonymous FF contest called the Twilight/80's Movie Contest. I am one of seven entries. I cannot tell you which is mine, but if you'd love to try to figure it out, the link is ****www. fanfiction. net**** /u/2474191/ 80s_Movie_Contest. (Take out the spaces). I've also added the link to my profile. That link will take you to the FF contest page. The stories are listed at the bottom, and the voting poll is at the top of the page. You guys know my writing style, so you may just figure it out! But I'll never tell…at least, until it's over! :) Thanks!**

**As always, I love to hear your thoughts!**


	22. I Love You Like Never Before

**AN: As always, love to my beta Shaina and to my pre-reader KatMom. I have some fun stuff to share, but I'll save it for the bottom.**

**Disclaimer: Tiffany and Co. isn't mine, but I do love the little blue boxes. Chapter song is "Songbird" by Fleetwood Mac or Eva Cassidy…whichever version is your favorite.**

* * *

_**Chapter 22**_

_**I Love You Like Never Before**_

* * *

EPOV

"What did you just say?"

Bella turned around in my arms and snuggled close. Her eyes were warm and soft as she gazed into mine. "Will you marry me, Edward?"

This girl – this beautiful, incredible, amazing girl – was literally going to be the death of me. I had been begging her to marry me for weeks now. I finally had a ring, and I was waiting for the engraving to be finished, so that I could execute the most romantic proposal ever known to woman or man. I already had my speech prepared, and I'd been practicing my knee bends, just to prepare them for the perfect moment when I would fall onto one of them and ask her to marry me. I had a plan, and now my plan was blown to hell because she just proposed to _me_!

Wait…

_Bella just proposed to me._

"Please don't tease me," I begged her, my voice anguished. "I don't think my heart could take the disappointment."

"I'm not teasing," Bella whispered softly. Her finger softly traced the outline of my lips. "I want everything in its proper order before Maddie arrives, and I think it's time to tie myself to you in every way possible. We're already connected in every single way that counts. Getting married is just a wonderful formality. I love you, you love me, and we love our baby. We have a beautiful home, and we should be a family – officially. It's time, Edward."

Her voice was so sure, so filled with conviction. My mind was racing with various scenarios and possibilities. Fuck the sentimental engraving. I'd book a flight to Vegas and marry her tonight. Right now. What time is it? Does it even matter? No, it doesn't matter. She's ready. She wants to marry me.

Bella wants to marry me.

"I don't even care that you're raining on my parade," I whispered solemnly as I gazed into the eyes of the only woman that could bring me to my knees with just a touch. Of course she'd propose to me. Nothing about us had been traditional.

"I want to be your wife before the baby arrives," Bella murmured softly.

"I want to be your husband before the sun sets tomorrow."

Surprise flickered across her face, quickly replaced by a slow grin. "Really?"

"Really."

"Tomorrow?" She asked hopefully, and I grinned.

"We can certainly pick up the license, tomorrow. But Washington State requires a three-day waiting period, baby."

Bella frowned. "Three days?"

I nodded.

She sighed heavily. "I don't want to wait three days."

I chuckled. "Say the word, baby. I'll have us on a plane to Vegas by dawn."

Bella laced her fingers with mine. "Yeah?"

"Hell yes," I smiled as I brought her hand to my lips and pressed kisses along her knuckles. "Of course, our parents would disown us, but it's a chance I'm willing to take if it means you'll be Mrs. Edward Cullen by sunset."

"They'd get over it," Bella mused thoughtfully. "I _am_ bringing their grandchild into the world. They'd forgive us."

It was so fucking tempting, and for a few brief moments, I seriously considered it. I could call the jeweler and put a rush on the ring. I could book a flight, get a marriage license, and marry her in a Vegas chapel. My family would forgive us, and they could throw us a kickass reception when we returned home.

"Maddie likes the idea, too," Bella giggled as she pressed my hand to her tummy. Sure enough, our daughter was kicking the shit out of her mommy's belly. Our little girl, who was going to have me completely wrapped around her finger from the moment she took her first breath. Many years from now, I would have the honor of walking my daughter down the aisle and into the arms of a man who was nowhere near good enough for her, but I'd do it because she loved him enough to take his name.

And that's when I thought of Charlie Swan, and I realized as much as I wanted this woman to be my wife, I couldn't take this moment away from him.

"Here's what I think," I murmured as I kissed her forehead. "Tomorrow, we'll go down to the courthouse and get the marriage license. We'll take the next three days to rally the troops, plan a small wedding, get your ring, and get your father into town."

Bella's forehead creased. "But…"

"Bella, nothing about us has been traditional," I whispered softly. "You deserve a wedding, and your father deserves the chance to walk you down the aisle. As much as I want to marry you, I won't take that away from him. I wouldn't want someone to take that away from me."

Suddenly, her eyes glistened with tears.

"Wow," she whispered.

"What?"

"There are times when I don't think I could possibly love you anymore than I already do, and then you say something like that," she sniffled softly.

I laughed and snuggled her close as I pressed a kiss to her temple.

"Three days?" She whispered.

"Three days," I promised her.

She sighed contently as we snuggled deeper beneath the blanket. I had almost drifted off to sleep when I heard her whisper, "You didn't say yes."

I smiled as I buried my nose in her hair.

"Yes, baby. A thousand times yes."

* * *

The next morning was a whirlwind of activity. I woke up at eight, called Lauren, and told her to clear my schedule for the next two weeks. My clients weren't happy, but I really didn't give a shit. My clients and their needs had always come first. Those days were over. Times were changing, and they needed to get used to it.

Bella called Alice, who in turn called Rosalie. Rosalie called my mother, and by nine, all three of the women had descended on our house with a variety of bridal magazines sprawled across the dining room table. Once again, I'd given my credit card to Alice, and she was typing furiously on her laptop while on the phone with a caterer, and Rose and Esme were making lists and checking them twice. Bella and I looked on with a mixture of amazement and fright as the women in our lives took charge of every aspect of the wedding plans. Around eleven, Emmett and Jasper arrived behind Carlisle, and each of them were handed a list of things to do in preparation.

"Now you two," Alice snapped her fingers at us, and I had to bite my lip in order to keep from laughing at the fanatical look in her eyes. "Get the rings. Then, get down to the courthouse and apply for your marriage license."

"Anything else, Mistress?" Bella asked sweetly. This time, I laughed out loud.

"Yes, actually," Alice smiled in return. "Romeo here needs to call Charlie Swan, get his blessing, and get him _here._"

"Done," I nodded, excited to have a valid excuse to get the hell out of Dodge. Bella nodded excitedly as I grabbed her by the hand and led her out the door.

"Wow," Bella grinned as we walked hand-in hand out of the courthouse with marriage license in hand. "Are you sure I'm worth sixty-four dollars?"

I grinned and pulled her close, wrapping my arms around her and nuzzling her nose with mine. "I would have paid a million dollars to marry you."

She sighed as I leaned down to kiss her softly. The kiss was just beginning to get interesting when we heard someone clear his throat behind us. Bella looked over my shoulder and her eyes widened.

"Mayor," Bella whispered in greeting. She squeezed my hand, and I turned to find myself face to face with the only fucker who could possibly ruin my perfect day.

"Bella," James replied kindly. "Edward."

"James," I nodded.

"Bella, you're absolutely glowing," James smiled appreciatively as his eyes lingered on my fiancée's body just a beat longer than I liked.

"Thanks," she whispered, and I felt her squeeze my hand. "If I'm glowing, it's because I'm happy. Edward and I were just picking up our marriage license."

Have I mentioned lately how much I love my girl?

I took great satisfaction in watching his face contort as he finally looked at me. "Making an honest woman out of her, Cullen?"

"That's right," I nodded.

"Well, congratulations," James replied with a stiff smile. "I must say I'm surprised. I never really saw you as the marrying kind."

"Life is full of surprises."

"Bella," James returned his attention to her. "I would still love to have you as part of my administration. Perhaps after the baby arrives…"

"No thank you," Bella replied firmly.

"No?" James seemed surprised by her refusal.

"No," she repeated. "Even if I do go back to work after the baby is born, I will not be working for you. Not now. Not ever."

"If you'll excuse us, my fiancée and I have a wedding to plan," I smiled at him. "Have a good day, Mayor."

His eyes narrowed, but it would have been political suicide to cause a scene on the front steps of the courthouse. He looked quickly behind his shoulder and smiled at a passerby before wishing us a good day and racing up the steps.

"That was fun," Bella giggled as I pulled her by the hand toward the car.

"Indeed," I grinned. "Are you ready to see your ring?"

"I am."

* * *

On the way to the jewelry store, I decided to complete one more task on Alice's list, and Bella giggled as she dialed Charlie's number on my cell phone. She was giggling a lot today, and the sound was music to my ears because it was proof that she was happy.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Charlie."

"Edward," his voice sounded surprise. "Everything okay with Bella and the baby?"

"Everything's great," I said, and I heard his sigh of relief. "I just thought you should know that I'm proposing to your daughter today."

Charlie chuckled. "Well, I guess I could say it's about time, but really, what's it been? A week?"

"Seven months," I clarified with a grin as I turned into the jewelry store's parking lot. "So do I have your blessing?"

The line grew silent, and I turned off the ignition. Suddenly, fear flooded me. What if he said no?

"You love her…" Charlie murmured. It wasn't a question, but I understood that he needed to ask these things. It was his job.

I reached across the seat and brushed her cheek with my fingers. "I love her more than you can possibly imagine." Bella sighed softly as she melted against my touch.

"You'll take care of her and my granddaughter? You'll always put them first above anything or anyone else?"

"Always," I promised him.

"I like you, Edward," Charlie said. "I know this whole thing hasn't been conventional, but I like you a lot and I think you're good for her. But hear this – if you ever break that promise, they'll never find your body."

I couldn't help but smile. I hope that I'm _this_ good of a father to my baby girl.

"I understand, sir."

Charlie chuckled. "Now that the threats are out of the way, when's the big day?"

"That's something else we needed to talk to you about," I grinned at Bella. Her eyes were wide with anticipation. "Can you be here in three days?"

"How dare the great state of Washington make you wait three whole days," Charlie laughed loudly. "I'll be honest. I'm surprised I'm not getting a call from Vegas."

"We thought about it," I admitted with a laugh. He grew quiet again, and I'm sure he was contemplating the fact that he might have missed her wedding day.

"This way is better," he finally murmured.

"I know."

He asked to speak to Bella, and I handed her the phone. I couldn't hear his side of the conversation, but within moments, she was crying and whispering how much she loved him. She sighed softly as she ended the call, and I squeezed her hand.

"Everything okay?"

"Everything's perfect," Bella whispered. "He'll be here tomorrow."

"Good," I smiled. "Ready to pick out rings?"

"Definitely," she smiled, and then her face fell when she turned toward the store and finally noticed the name of the jeweler.

* * *

BPOV

I was really trying to embrace this whole money issue. But _Tiffany's_?

Edward sighed as he led me through the doors. "I asked Alice for advice, and she suggested that I start here."

"I'm sure she did," I muttered as I found myself surrounded by towers of those pretty blue boxes. A sales associate greeted us with a friendly smile, called Edward by name, and led us to a wide display of men's rings. He finally settled on a simple, plain platinum band.

"But mine is engraved, and I'm sure it's gorgeous," I argued as the sales associate finalized the sale.

"Your ring is spectacular," Edward confirmed. "Wives deserve a gorgeous ring. We guys like simple rings."

"I like simple rings," I muttered. Now, I was positively fearful to see my ring. There was no doubt in my mind that it was stunning….and _expensive_.

_I am going to kill Alice._

With Edward's ring in hand, we made our way to another department where I ignored the quiet conversation between my future husband and another sales associate. She confirmed that the engraving on my ring was complete, and I tried not to notice the ecstatic joy on Edward's face as he finalized that sale. Moments later, he was leading me back to the car with a shit-eating grin on his handsome face.

"Oh my God, how much?"

Edward chuckled. "No way."

"Why not?"

He sighed as opened my car door for me and motioned for me to get inside. I rolled my eyes but climbed into the seat and snapped my seatbelt with a huff. He was still smiling as he snapped his own belt and pulled the car out of the parking lot.

"Baby…" Edward sighed, "…you so rarely let me spoil you. This is your wedding ring."

"It's a _Tiffany's_ wedding ring," I sighed as I stared out the window. "I didn't need a ring from one of the most expensive stores in the world."

"I've never purchased an engagement ring before," Edward murmured as he drove toward the house. "I needed advice, so I asked Alice."

"Alice!" I gritted my teeth. "Of all people, you asked ALICE?"

Just then his cell phone rang, effectively ending the conversation. I wasn't really listening as I was too busy having a meltdown. I did hear him say that he wanted everyone out of the house within the next half hour, and I could only assume it was because he was fearful that I might tear Alice's head from her body. I had to admit this was a definite possibility.

"I thought we were past these money issues," Edward murmured after he ended his call.

"I thought we were, too."

"What's changed?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I don't know that I'll ever be totally comfortable with this money thing, Edward. It's just not something I'm used to. Tiffany's is so expensive, and it just…it just caught me off guard."

"But you were okay with the house…" Edward reminded me.

"Yes, but that was for us."

"I see," Edward nodded, as he turned down our road and slowly pulled into the garage. I noticed that the driveway was completely empty. "So it's okay to spend money if it's for _us_, but it's not okay if the money is spent just on you?"

"That's right."

Edward sighed heavily as he placed the gear shift into park and turned off the ignition. Without a word, he opened his door and closed it. I slowly unbuckled my seatbelt and took his hand as he helped me out of the car. Silently, he led me into the house. It was quiet – such a sharp contrast to the buzz of activity from earlier. We slipped off our shoes, and he never let go of my hand as he led me up the stairs and into the nursery. He led me to the rocking chair next to the window, and I took a seat before he walked out of the room. Within minutes, he was back again, holding our latest sonogram pictures in his hand. He kneeled to the ground before me and pointed to the image.

"Do you see this?"

I nodded.

He then took my hand and pressed it to my tummy.

"Do you feel that?"

Because our child was most definitely a daddy's girl, she kicked on cue.

"You give me everything," Edward whispered solemnly. "You've agreed to be my wife, and you're carrying my child. You share my bed each and every night. You love me more than I deserve. No man deserves this much happiness, but I'm grateful to have it."

He pulled the little blue box out of his pocket.

"My only intention was to find a ring that reminded me of you. Like you, it had to be perfect…flawless…beautiful. It had to captivate me instantly - just like you did that first night in that piano bar. I will never forget the way you looked that night. You were wearing some faded 80s t-shirt and jeans, and I'd never seen anything more beautiful in my life."

"You remember that?" I asked softly.

"I remember every second of that night," Edward murmured. "I found my soulmate that night." He reached up and gently brushed my cheek with his fingers. "I fell in love that night, Songbird."

Tears filled my eyes as he slowly opened the tiny box. He lifted the lid, and I gasped as my eyes settled on the most beautiful ring I had ever seen.

"Don't you understand?" Edward asked softly as he took the ring out of the box and reached for my hand. I blinked back the tears as he slipped the engagement ring onto my finger. "You're giving me so much, just by saying yes. This house and this ring? They are just _things_, Bella. They are beautiful things, and I want to give them to you because it makes me happy and because you deserve them, but they are so inconsequential compared to everything you're giving _me. _I could never repay you for giving me a reason to live again….to be happy again."

Tears trickled down my face as I gazed at my ring. So many emotions were flowing through me. Once again, I had taken a gift that was given out of love and focused on the price tag instead of the sentiment behind it. When would I ever learn?

"You bring me joy that is priceless," Edward whispered. "I love you. Please say you'll be my wife."

I smiled softly into his adoring eyes. "You know I will."

Edward sighed happily as he gazed down at my hand. "Do you like it?"

"It's gorgeous, Edward. I love it."

"The wedding band is engraved," he said as he pulled the band from the box. "Alice says we save that for the wedding day."

I giggled.

"Can I at least see the inscription?"

Edward carefully handed me the diamond band, and my eyes filled with new tears as I read the tiny engraved words.

_**I love you like never before**_

I had sung those words to him that night, not realizing that I was staring into the emerald eyes of the man I would someday marry. That night, I had found my soulmate, too.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you, Songbird."

Later that night, we were snuggled in our bed, wrapped in each other's arms, when he whispered to me.

"You didn't say yes."

I smiled as I looked into my fiancé's burning eyes.

"Yes, a thousand times yes," I whispered.

* * *

**Bella's ring can be found in my profile under the images link. **

**I'll try to keep this brief, but wow – lots of fun stuff to share!**

**I am helping to host an anonymous FF contest called Scene Stealers. Please check out my profile for more information!**

**Have you checked out the entries for the 80's Movie FF Contest? I have an entry, but I can't tell you which is mine. But there are only seven entries, so if you're at all interested, please check them out and vote for your favorite. That link is also in my profile.**

**Voting for The Hidden Star Awards are now open, and the categories have been divided into two rounds. In the first round (which ends on Sept. 14) **_**Songbird**_** has been nominated for Best AH Story. In the second round, **_**Turn the Page **_**(Best All-Around Story) has been nominated, as well as the **_**Songbird**_** banner (designed by ms_ambrosia) for Best Banner. Also, my lovely beta (as snarkerella) has been nominated for the **_**I Love My Beta**_** Award. That round opens on September 16. I have added the link on my profile if you'd like to vote. :)**

**And…I've started a new story! It's called "Solace." If you haven't already checked it out, I hope that you do.**

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**See you next week!**


	23. Heavenly Day

**AN: The chapter song is by Patty Griffin. The link to the **_**Songbird**_** playlist is on my profile. Also, you can see Bella's ring and her wedding dress by following the **_**Images**_** link on my profile, or by checking out my blog. **

**Chapter 23**

**Heavenly Day**

* * *

**BPOV**

"Morning sickness sucks," Rosalie whined as she nibbled on a cracker.

"I remember," I sympathized, just as Alice wound my hair around the curling iron a little too tightly. "Ow!"

"Hold still!" Alice commanded as she counted to ten before releasing the tendril. Edward had requested only one thing during this whirlwind wedding experience, and that was for my hair to be flowing down my back. My Nazi wedding planner was determined to make his dream come true. Apparently, this required a special dress, so she had been on the prowl for the perfect wedding gown. My only requirement was that it fit around my gigantic stomach.

I patted my tummy affectionately as Alice continued her endeavor. Maddie had been kicking up a storm all morning. Apparently, the excitement was getting to her, too. We'd had multiple discussions all morning concerning the intensity of which she was kicking her mommy's ribs, but she wasn't listening to me. The only time our child was calm was when her father was talking to her. The sound of his voice _was _soothing, but I couldn't help but feel a little jealous that father and daughter seemed to have this cosmic connection, whereas she just enjoyed kicking the shit out of me. I was already planning on having a boy, just to even things up. The promise of another child had made Edward's eyes light up, and I had immediately regretted vocalizing that thought because I knew he'd hold me to it. He just _loved_ seeing me fat.

"I want a hot dog," Rosalie announced suddenly, and I couldn't help but giggle. The news of Rosalie and Emmett's baby had come as quite as a surprise to all of us. It was happy news, of course, but Rose was naturally bitchy. Adding baby hormones to the mix was sure to keep Emmett on his toes for the next seven months.

"You just had breakfast," Alice reminded her.

Rosalie turned a murderous glare toward my hair stylist. "So?"

"Give me my cell phone," I said, and Alice fished it out of her pocket and handed it to me. If anyone could sympathize with wild cravings, it was me. I immediately texted the best man.

_**Your woman wants a hot dog. ~Bella**_

Like a good daddy who valued his life, he texted right back.

_**She sent me out for a hot dog at midnight last night. With onions and cheese! ~Emmett**_

I crinkled my nose in disgust. "Would you like onions and cheese again, Rosalie?"

I immediately regretted asking, because Rose made a retching noise and quickly rushed toward the bathroom.

"I'd take that as a no," Alice replied.

Alice began to apply the last of my make-up. Moments later, Rosalie returned from the bathroom and sweetly requested a hot dog with chili. I quickly texted Em and handed the phone back to Alice.

"Tell me that the barfing and the cravings won't last for nine months," Rose begged as she sipped her Sprite.

"Mine didn't," I assured her.

"I can do this, right?" She whispered, and Alice cast her a disapproving look.

"This is Bella's day. Quit being a whiny bitch."

Rosalie's eyes flashed with anger. As Alice had never had the pleasure of being pregnant, there was no way she could have known that yelling at a hormonal mommy was the last thing you ever wanted to do.

"Please don't kill her," I grinned at Rosalie. "Just remember she's clueless, and that I need her help today."

Rosalie's face relaxed. "Fine, but I make no promises once this wedding's over."

"Hmph," Alice snorted. "Finished! What do you think?"

I turned toward the mirror and couldn't help but smile at my reflection. The girl in the mirror had long, wavy hair and minimal make-up, just as requested.

"Thanks Alice," I whispered softly, and she smiled happily. Just then, a soft rapping came from the other side of my bedroom door.

"That better not be Edward," Alice warned, and I giggled. He had been sneaking upstairs all morning.

"It's just me," Esme's soft voice echoed from behind the door.

"Come in," Alice sang, and Esme was smiling brightly as she walked through the door. "You're just in time! I was just about to get her dress!"

"Oh, Bella," Esme whispered as she blinked back tears.

"Don't cry yet," Rosalie coaxed her. "Wait until you see her in this dress."

Alice had really outdone herself in finding the perfect dress. I didn't ask specifics. I didn't ask about the designer, the type of material, or the cost. I was blissfully clueless, and I wanted to stay that way. All I knew was that it was white and flowed down my body, and it was the prettiest dress that had ever touched my skin.

The three of them helped me into my gown, and when I turned toward the full-length mirror, I heard all three of them sniffling.

"Damn hormones," Rosalie groaned as she reached for a box of Kleenex.

"You're breathtaking," Esme said, wiping her eyes.

"I'm a genius," Alice grinned, effectively cutting through the sappiness of the moment and making us all laugh.

"I have something for you," Esme said as she led me to the bed. I ignored Alice's warnings of wrinkling the fabric as I sat down on the comforter. "I hope this isn't presumptuous of me, but Carlisle and I wanted to give you something today."

"Esme, you didn't have to do that."

"I know," she smiled. "But it's our honor, believe me. You've given our family so much…" Her eyes welled with tears as I blinked back my own. "Anyway…"

She took my hand and placed a jewelry box in my hand.

"On the day Jane and Edward were born, Carlisle bought this for her to wear on her wedding day. Sappiness runs in the Cullen family, I'm afraid," she grinned wistfully.

I opened the box to find a thin Y-drop necklace with tiny pearls and earrings to match. I gasped as I carefully trailed my fingers along the tiny pearls.

"They're beautiful," I whispered. "Are you sure?"

Esme nodded to Alice, who immediately ripped the jewelry box from my hand and sat behind me, carefully clasping the necklace into place. The necklace dipped daintily into my cleavage. I carefully placed the earrings in each of my ears, and Esme led me back to the mirror.

"Jane and Edward had a very special connection…a very special love," Esme murmured as her eyes met mine in the glass. "Jane would be so happy that Edward's wife is wearing this jewelry today. You've brought my son back to life and you are bringing our beautiful granddaughter into this world. You're a mother's dream come true."

I smiled through my tears as she embraced me, and I prayed that I would be _this_ kind of mother to my own babies.

"I'm a very lucky woman," Esme said as she looked between Rosalie and I. "I have two beautiful daughters and two grandchildren on the way."

Rosalie began to bawl just as another knock sounded at the door.

"Hey," Charlie's voice echoed from the doorway. His eyes were rimmed with red, and seeing my father cry nearly sent me over the edge. Alice immediately handed me a Kleenex while Rosalie continued crying in the corner of the bedroom. "I wondered if I could have a few minutes with the bride."

"Of course," Alice smiled.

Esme kissed my cheek once more before taking Rosalie by the hand and leading her downstairs.

"Is she going to be okay?" Charlie asked with concern.

"She's pregnant," I shrugged.

Charlie nodded, as if this explained the emotional outburst.

"You look beautiful," my father said.

"Thanks."

He nodded as he led me back to the bed. "Nervous?"

"No," I smiled.

"Good," Charlie replied. "I feel like I'm supposed to say something profound today, but I don't know what I could tell you. It's not like I'm a marriage expert."

"It's okay. You don't have to say anything. Just don't let me fall as I walk down the stairs."

"I won't let you fall, Bells."

My eyes welled with tears. "I know you won't, Dad. You never have."

His face contorted with emotion. "You know I love you and I'm proud of you."

"I know. I love you, too."

Charlie sighed heavily. "Your mom is here."

My eyes widened.

"I was going to give her a piece of my mind, but that fiancé of yours beat me to it. She walked right in like she owned the place, and I really thought he was going to kick her out. But she began to cry and said she just wanted to see her only daughter get married, and she promised to behave." Charlie's eyes softened. "He's a good man, Bella."

"I know he is."

"Are you okay with her being here?"

I wasn't. Not really.

"If she says anything to upset you, I'll toss her right out the door," Charlie promised me. "Just say the word."

I took a deep breath. The last thing I wanted today was a confrontation with my mother, but she was here. Whether that was to check-out the square footage of the house or if it was to see her daughter get married was a mystery, but either way, I'd deal.

"It's time!" Alice squealed as she made her way into the room. Rosalie returned and handed me my bouquet of white roses. She glanced down at the flowers and grinned.

"I can't believe all of this started with a single white rose," Rosalie smirked, and I blushed. Charlie looked confused but decided to say nothing, and I was thankful. Thanks to my tummy, it was apparent that Edward and I were two of the biggest fornicators on the planet, but I didn't have to share specifics with my father.

Soft instrumental music could be heard throughout the house as Charlie laced my arm through his as we made our way down the stairs. Rosalie walked ahead of us, and when we made our way to the bottom, I chanced a glance at the altar. Emmett's eyes burned as he watched Rosalie walk down the aisle. With her statuesque figure and pregnancy glow, she was stunning in her black halter bridesmaid dress. Alice had insisted on some color for Rose's bouquet, so her roses were blood red. Emmett and Rose were staring at each other intently, and I knew it was only a matter of time before I was returning this favor to her.

"Ready?" Charlie whispered as his hand covered mine. At that point, Edward's eyes met mine. He looked deliciously handsome in his suit, and I smiled brightly at him. His mouth dropped open as his eyes raked over me, and I giggled.

"I'm ready."

The walk down the aisle was a short one, and within moments, Charlie was taking my hand and placing it into Edward's. His eyes were shining as he smiled at me.

Because the bride and groom were eager, the ceremony was a short one. We said the traditional vows, and Edward's smile was triumphant when the minister told him to kiss the bride. The kiss was simultaneously chaste and toe-curling, and applause rang out as the minister introduced as Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen.

As the wedding flowed into the reception, Edward held me to his side while, one-by-one, our guests offered us their best wishes. I had never smiled so much in my entire life, and despite my unease at being the center of attention, I forced a smile when the last person in line - my mother - made her way to us. She leaned in to kiss Edward's cheek before offering me a nervous smile.

"You look beautiful," Renee whispered to me.

"Thank you."

"And happy."

"I am."

Edward pulled me closer to his side and brushed my temple with his lips. Renee's eyes softened as she noticed the loving gesture.

"I wondered if we could talk."

"I won't let you upset her," Edward murmured.

"So protective," Renee smiled softly. "I promise not to upset her."

Seth interrupted us then, his camera in hand. "Your bulldog wedding planner is insisting on pictures before the first dance."

"We'll talk later?" I suggested to my mother, who nodded and made her way toward a waiter. He handed her a glass of champagne, and I watched her down it.

"She's nervous."

"She should be," Edward insisted. "If she upsets you…"

"She can't upset me – not today," I whispered as I leaned up to kiss him sweetly. "I love you, Mr. Cullen."

His entire face brightened. "I love you, Mrs. Cullen."

Alice was looking infuriated as she waved wildly, and Edward chuckled as he took my hand and led me toward the photographer.

* * *

"Your home is beautiful," Renee said as we made our way up the stairs. It had taken some negotiating, but I had finally convinced Edward to dance with his mother while I spoke with mine.

"Thank you."

"Oh," she gasped as we passed the nursery. She tilted her head toward the baby's room. "May I?"

I nodded, and she followed me into the nursery. I sat down in the rocking chair as she walked around the room, marveling at the decorations and furniture. With its cheerful and calming colors, it was most definitely my favorite room in the house.

"This is lovely," Renee breathed as her hands drifted along the cherry wood of the crib. "Have you chosen a name?"

"Her name is Madalyn Jane."

"That's pretty," Renee replied. "Maddie?"

"Yeah."

Renee nodded as she took a seat on the small loveseat that Edward had insisted on placing in the room.

"This is nice," Renee said as she ran her fingers along the fabric.

"It was Edward's idea," I explained. "His reasoning is that we both can't sit in the rocker and there would be times that we'd both want to be in the nursery with the baby.

"He's going to be a good father."

"Yes, he is."

Renee sighed as she leaned her head back against the couch. "I owe you an apology, Bella. Actually, I owe you many apologies."

I gazed down at my dress, playing with the soft pleats.

"I never meant to make you feel inferior," Renee began. "I allowed my bitterness over my own choices to tarnish my relationship with you. The choices your father and I made were _our _decisions, and I never meant to punish you for those decisions, but I know that I did."

I nodded as I wiped a lone tear away from my cheek.

"Getting pregnant so young was the worst thing that ever happened to me, but you, Bella…you were the best. Can you see the distinction?"

And for a moment, I could. Hadn't I had a minor meltdown when I had learned that I was pregnant? I still wouldn't call it the worst thing that ever happened to me, because it definitely wasn't. My pregnancy had led me to this beautiful day. How could I regret it?

"I loved your father," Renee continued. "But I didn't love your father enough to spend the rest of my life with him, so no, getting married and having a baby with him wasn't in my plan. He and I were just too different, and despite our best efforts, we couldn't make it work. We are much happier apart."

"I understand that," I replied softly. "But Edward and I aren't you and Dad."

"I know that," Renee said. "I'm sorry I suggested that you should have an abortion, Bella. That was out of line."

"Yes it was."

"I love you, and I would like to be part of my granddaughter's life…if you'll let me."

I studied her face, trying to make sense of everything I was hearing.

"You have to understand that I won't allow you to be negative around her," I said calmly. "She is not ruining my life. She is making it complete. She is not taking my dreams away from me. She is making my dreams come true."

"I understand."

Amazingly, I watched her wipe a stray tear from her eye.

"She will have nice things, because I'm sure her father is going to absolutely insist upon it, but those are just _things_, and I want her to understand that there are more important things in life than just material possessions. I will not have you trying to convince her otherwise."

"I understand," Renee repeated.

"You will love her because she's your granddaughter," I whispered softly. "Not because she's smart or pretty or successful…but because she's your granddaughter. That's all she has to be."

"I love you because you're my daughter," Renee murmured. "Not because you're smart and pretty and successful. You _are_ all of those things, but I love you because you're mine. I will love your daughter just the same."

It was the first compliment my mother had ever given me. She may not have realized it, but I certainly did. And then she said the one thing that I never thought I'd hear coming from my mother's mouth.

"I'm sorry, Bella. For everything."

* * *

"Wow," Edward whispered when I finished telling him the story. The house was finally empty, and I was nestled in his lap in that very same loveseat in the nursery.

"Yeah, it was quite the wedding gift," I whispered. He snuggled me close and pressed a kiss to my hair.

"This ring looks spectacular on your finger," Edward murmured as he lifted my left hand to his lips. His own platinum band was shining in the dim light of the nursery.

"So does yours," I smiled up at him. "I have a surprise for you, Mr. Cullen."

He smiled crookedly at me as I tugged his wedding band off his finger.

"This is the only time it's allowed to leave your finger," I said as I lifted the ring to his face. The engraving situation had been fairly stealth. I had stolen the ring and given it to Alice who in turn had given it to Jasper. He had taken the ring to the jeweler and offered an obscene amount of money to have it engraved the day before.

Edward squinted his eyes as he looked at the inscription on the platinum band.

"Il mio cuore batte per te," he whispered. His face flickered with the memory of the morning after we'd made love for the first in my old apartment. He'd said those words to me, and I'd never forgotten them.

"Only for you," I murmured softly as I slipped the band back on his hand.

Without a word, Edward pulled us to our feet and carried me toward our bedroom. We had decided to forego a real honeymoon until after the baby was born, choosing instead to spend our wedding night and the next week wrapped in the quiet solitude of our new house.

"You looked so beautiful today," Edward whispered as he lowered me to my feet. He stepped around me and ran his hands along my arms before carefully unzipping the dress. The flowing fabric fell into a pool at my feet, and I sighed as he brushed my hair to one side, peppering my bare shoulder with soft kisses.

"You're my wife," he whispered in my ear.

"You're my husband," I murmured, and I felt him smile against my skin. "Till death do us part."

Edward sighed, his mouth teasing the hollow below my ear. "Even death couldn't keep me away from you, Songbird."

I turned in his arms and pulled him by the hand toward our bed, unbuttoning his vest and shirt, and sliding both down his broad shoulders as he hastily unbuttoned his slacks and pushed them down to the ground. As always, our never-ending need for each other consumed us, and he gently pushed me back against the mattress and crashed his mouth to mine. Hungrily, his tongue invaded my mouth, and I moaned as his hands drifted along my skin.

Alice had warned me that married sex was _so_ much better, but I couldn't imagine sex with Edward ever being better than it was before.

I was wrong.

Breathless, his lips left mine and immediately latched onto my neck, and I closed my eyes as I became overwhelmed with sensation as his hands touched every part of me. With a growl, he pulled me on top of him, and while I usually felt self-conscious about straddling him in my current condition, the look on his face assured me that I was exactly where he wanted me to be.

"Will it always be like this?" I whispered breathlessly.

"For as long as we both shall live," Edward murmured, and his hands grasped mine as we began to move.

* * *

**EPOV**

They say the first year of marriage is the hardest, but if the first two months were any indication, I can truthfully say that _they_ are a bunch of morons.

Marriage was un-fucking-believable.

_I am a married man. Bella is my wife. I am going to be a father._

I said these things several times a day. I could be having the shittiest day of my life, and those three little sentences could instantly remind me that life was good, and I had no reason to complain. I could be dealing with a frustrated client, or an ill-tempered judge, or an inflexible jury, and none of it mattered because I was a happy man.

After the wedding, Bella decided to start her leave of absence from the paper. With so much free time, she had become Betty Crocker in the kitchen, and every day, I came home to dinner and dessert. Sometimes, dessert was peanut butter cookies. Other times, it was my sexy wife in naughty negligee. Either way, it was heaven.

As Bella's due date approached, she became increasingly uncomfortable with just about everything, and that definitely included sex. She was having trouble sleeping because of her stomach, and she was having trouble sitting because of pain in her lower back. She was rarely content, and I hated that she was so uncomfortable. The doctor promised that these were just the _joys_ of the last trimester, but as terrible as Bella felt, I had my suspicions that Maddie would be an only child.

Tonight had been another challenging evening. Her lower back had been killing her all night long, and even my gentle massages did nothing to relieve her discomfort. She'd finally fallen asleep on the sofa in the living room just after eleven, and I didn't have the heart to wake her. Instead, I wrapped a blanket around her and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead before heading into the study to do some work. The living room was on the same level of the house, so I'd be able to hear if she needed anything.

After an hour, my eyes had finally grown tired of the computer screen. I had just powered off my laptop and was rubbing my eyes when I heard soft footsteps along the hardwood floor. I opened my eyes to find Bella staring intently at me.

"Hi baby."

"Baby," she nodded slowly. "I think…yeah…baby…"

My eyes widened. "Baby?"

"I think…I'm pretty sure…"

"Bella?" I quickly leapt out of my chair.

"I think my water just broke," Bella whispered.


	24. Love Come

**AN: Lots of love to blueking141 for the help with this chapter's song! There are actually a couple of songs for this chapter. "Love Come" by Sarah McLachlan is the song Bella sings to the baby. Because I'm a sap, I've added two more songs to the playlist for Edward's POV. They are "My Little Girl" by Jack Johnson and "Green Eyes" by Coldplay. You can listen to them on the Songbird playlist on my profile or on my blog.**

**Let's have a baby! :) **

**I have been told that this needs a tissue warning. ****Thanks to Katmom for pre-reading and to Shaina for being my awesome beta. **

* * *

_**Chapter 24**_

_**Love Come**_

* * *

**EPOV**

"Deep cleansing breaths, baby…"

How pathetic was it that my beautiful wife, who was lying here about to bring our baby into the world, was telling _me_ to breathe? We'd been here for eight hours, and my ability to think rationally was beginning to fade. Bella, of course, was the epitome of calm. Of course, the epidural had helped with that.

Just then, another contraction registered on the machine. My wife, however, didn't make a sound. She just closed her eyes and took a deep breath. After a few seconds, her caramel eyes opened, and my face must have been twisted with anguish because she gave me a radiant smile.

Epidurals are God's gifts to mothers. Why didn't they make something for the fathers?

"I think we're ready," Dr. Molina smiled at me. "Remember Edward, you work up there. I'll work down here."

I nodded lamely as I brushed a lock of hair away from Bella's face. At this point, I was clueless and was just happy to be given instructions.

"Do you know how much I love you?" I whispered as I pressed a kiss to her forehead. She sighed softly and nodded as the doctor told her to begin pushing.

And with those words, my life was changed forever.

OOO

**BPOV**

Madalyn Jane Cullen weighed seven pounds and three ounces. The first thing I noticed about her was her head full of brown hair. The second thing I noticed was the fanatical smile on Edward's face.

"Your hair," he whispered softly.

"Your eyes?" I murmured hopefully. The nurse laid her against my chest for just a moment before stripping her away.

"She'll be right back," Edward promised me with a kiss.

Apparently, determining eye color at birth is a tricky thing. Dr. Molina cautioned us that just because her eyes appeared light green today might not mean that they would stay that color. He lost me when he started talking about melanocytes and pigmentations.

"Her eyes will stay green," I whispered tiredly. The nurse brought her back then – all cleaned up and wrapped in a blanket. She placed the baby against my chest as Edward enveloped us with his arms.

"You're amazing," Edward whispered against my cheek. "Look at her, Songbird."

There was a flurry of activity around us, but we were in our own little bubble. Edward pressed his fingertip to her cheek and whispered how much he loved her, and our five minute old child tried to open her eyes.

"Such a daddy's girl," I grinned.

"Yes, she is," he whispered reverently. "And to believe there was a brief moment in time when I denied that she was mine."

"You were just scared," I murmured softly.

"I'm still scared," Edward admitted quietly. "But I'm not afraid to be her father."

"What are you afraid of?"

I watched as his fingertip trailed along her tiny nose. "Of failing her…of failing you…"

"You could never fail us," I whispered. "You love us too much."

A tear trickled down his cheek as he gazed at her. His expression was so reverent…so captivated by the tiny bundle in my arms…and within moments he was wiping my own tears away from my face.

"Thank you," he whispered gently as he pressed a kiss to my wet cheek.

"For what?"

"For you…" Edward murmured quietly, "…and for her."

OOO

"Thank you," I whispered to Esme. "I really did want to try."

"You're very welcome," Esme smiled adoringly at her grandchild in my arms. "Sometimes babies have trouble breastfeeding at first, but she's doing wonderfully."

Modesty was long forgotten when I'd finally asked for Esme's help in learning how to breastfeed. The general mechanics seemed easy enough, but I'd needed a mother's guidance for this first time. My own mom was out of the country, but that was really okay with me. Esme was the mother I needed today.

Charlie and the rest of our family had surrounded us all day, but everyone had finally left when Maddie went back to the nursery for a nap. The rest of the evening had been spent trying to master the art of breastfeeding. I had quickly become frustrated when it seemed that Maddie just wasn't interested, but finally, she was nestled to my chest. Edward had finally collapsed with exhaustion and was sleeping in the chair in the corner of the room.

"I'm going to go," Esme offered sweetly.

"Stay," I offered, but I probably wasn't very convincing. I was just unable to tear my eyes away from my baby.

"This a precious moment," Esme whispered softly as she kissed my cheek. "Take this time to bond with that beautiful girl. We'll be back tomorrow."

She kissed Maddie's hair and wrapped a blanket around Edward before wishing us goodnight.

"You're so loved," I whispered as my eyes remained glued to her face. "I can't believe you're finally here."

She continued eating while I gazed adoringly at the child in my arms. Falling in love with Edward had been so consuming – like falling down a bottomless well with no hope of reaching the end. But that well had led us to this moment, and as I experienced this first moment with my baby – the first of so many first moments – I was overwhelmed with love and emotion.

No one deserves the riches I have, and it has absolutely nothing to do with money.

"_Love has taken me in, lifted my load_

_And in this empty space a wonder grows_

_A dream of some kind of peace I can hold up as true_

_I never knew anything about love before you…"_

"I love your voice," Edward whispered dreamily from the corner of the room. I smiled softly as I rocked our now sleeping daughter in my arms. "I see that little experiment was finally successful."

"Finally," I murmured as he made his way over to our bed. "Well worth the initial frustration."

"Just like us," Edward whispered against my lips. He kissed me softly before pressing a tender kiss to Maddie's head.

"Just like us," I smiled.

OOO

**EPOV**

"_You can't leave me," I whisper softly into the green eyes I love so much. Jane smiles weakly, trying to be strong as I fall apart at her bedside. The doctors say it will be soon, but I refuse to believe them. I lay my head against her pillow, and it's all I can do not to climb into the bed and hug her tightly to my chest._

"_I want you to go to college," Jane says softly as she runs her fingers through my hair. "I want you be happy and healthy."_

"_Not without you," I murmur shakily, because I have no idea how to exist without her. We've always been Edward and Jane. Jane and Edward. _

"_You love me so much," Jane smiles serenely. "I love you, too. But you have to let me go, Edward."_

"_I don't know how," I admit, my voice trembling with emotion._

"_I'll send you someone new to love," Jane promises me with a serene smile on her face. _

"_I don't want someone new."_

"_So stubborn," my sister grins. Her face is pale, but she still looks so angelic. "I'll send you someone new to love, and she'll have your green eyes."_

"_**Our **__green eyes," I whisper._

"_Our green eyes," she agrees._

OOO

I hadn't thought of that conversation since that day so many years ago. But as I gazed down at the beautiful baby in my arms, the emotions of that day came flooding back. I had felt so lost when – just an hour later – my sister had died peacefully in her sleep. I had forgotten her promise to me, but as I rocked Maddie in my arms, it was impossible to deny that my sister had kept her word.

"What are you two doing?" Bella whispered as she made her way into the nursery. It was after two, and I was giving the baby her bottle. I gently sniffed her hair, and the smell of baby powder and lavender consumed me. Do all babies smell that good?

"She was lonely," I mumbled quietly as I continued my gentle rocking. I didn't have to admit that it was actually Daddy who was lonely. Mommy knew me well enough to know the truth. It was our first night home, and I'd held Bella while she wept softly after we'd placed the baby in her crib for the night. I had promised her that Maddie would be fine in the nursery, but now – I wasn't so sure.

By some miracle, our baby was sleeping pretty much through the night, minus the nighttime feedings. The nurses had been astounded at how well she slept and how beautiful she was. As I gazed lovingly at her mother, it was easy to see why our daughter was the picture of perfection.

"It's all been so easy so far," I marveled as Bella joined me on the loveseat. "She never cries. She sleeps all the time. She smells so good…"

Bella laughed as I wrapped my free arm around her. She snuggled into my side and gently caressed the baby's hand. "It won't always be like this, though. She'll grow up. She'll turn into a teenager. She'll start dating…"

"Over my dead body."

Bella grinned. "What if my father had that philosophy? I never would have met you."

I considered this for a second. "I'm willing to bet that Charlie Swan _did_ have that philosophy. You just didn't listen."

Bella giggled as she covered a yawn. "Lucky for you."

"Lucky for me," I whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "You should sleep, baby."

"And miss this? Not a chance."

An hour later, Bella finally spoke the words I was longing to hear.

"I think she should sleep with us tonight…since she's so lonely in here by herself."

Silently, we crept carefully back to our bedroom, and with our baby snuggled between us, our little family drifted off to sleep.

OOO

A few weeks later, we were enjoying a quiet dinner with my parents when I felt compelled to visit the piano room. As I trailed my fingers along the keys of the piano, I couldn't help but smile. It had been so long since I'd played – nearly fourteen years now. It had just been too painful of a reminder of my sister. Jane had always loved to hear me play, and after her death, it had been impossible to find joy in anything, especially music.

Time heals.

Love heals.

I tentatively pressed my finger against the ivory keys, and I closed my eyes as memories of my sister overwhelmed me. Instinct took over, and I let the music ground me. I heard the sounds of soft sniffling coming from behind me, but I ignored it…so completely overwhelmed with just the ability to place my fingers along these keys and feel true happiness. I had spent so many years trying not to feel anything for anyone, living my life in an endless shadow of sadness and isolation. But now, I had my wife, and we had our daughter, and our daughter had the greenest eyes I'd ever seen.

_You know that's not true._

I opened my eyes and blinked back the tears as my gaze fell upon a picture frame atop the piano. Jane and I were eight years old in that picture – taken during a field trip to the zoo. My fingers swam across the keys as I continued staring at the glass, and when I saw my daughter's emerald eyes reflected in my sister's, a sense of peace surrounded me.

Jane had kept her promise. She had sent me someone to love.

I finished the song just as Bella sat down on the bench next to me.

"That was so beautiful," she whispered softly. "You brought your mother to tears. She says she's never seen you so happy."

"She's right," I smiled before leaning closer to kiss her softly. Her hands wove into my hair as the kiss grew deeper, and we were both breathless when we finally pulled away. This had been happening a lot lately.

"Dr. Molina says just a few more weeks," Bella promised with a grin.

"I know," I smiled before kissing the tip of her nose. "Where's my girl?"

Bella smiled affectionately at me. "She's napping with Grandpa."

Panic flooded me. "Is he holding her right? You know how she hates to sleep on her right side…"

Bella giggled and kissed my cheek. "Everything's fine, I promise." She nodded toward the piano. "Play something else for me."

I sighed contently as Bella leaned her head against my shoulder and listened to me play. Songs I hadn't heard in years just flowed from my fingers, and hours later – after I finally closed the lid on the piano and kissed my parents goodbye – I felt as if a giant weight had been lifted from me. And not just from me. I could see it in the way my mother gazed devotedly at the baby in my arms, and I could see it in the look of pride that was etched across my father's face.

Our family was whole once again.

* * *

**My entry in the 80s Movie Contest won first place! If you voted for the Top Gun/Twilight story, that story was mine. :) Thanks so much, and congrats to the other winners. All of the stories were wonderful!**

**The epilogue is next! :)**


	25. Epilogue: You and Me

**AN: This story came to be because of SnarkyDee over on Twitter. I was watching the movie **_**Knocked Up**_**, and I tweeted, "I could so write a FF about this." She kept pushing me until I did so. If you liked this story, please thank her for the encouragement. :) I have loved every moment.**

**Disclaimers: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. The chapter song is by Dave Matthews Band. The **_**Songbird **_**playlist is pretty kickass. Please check it out on my profile.**

_**~Epilogue~**_

_**You and Me**_

BPOV

The sun is brilliant in the sky as billowy white tents cascade across the back lawn. The unused tennis court was uprooted long ago, and in its place, a field of lush grass full of wildflowers grows. The lilac flowers are a perfect complement to this special day. Quite possibly, they were inspiration for everything from the cocktail napkins to the bridesmaids' dresses. Since she was a little girl, purple has always been Maddie's favorite color. Any shade of purple is acceptable. Plum. Lavender. Mauve.

For her wedding day, Maddie chose lilac.

Maddie is now twenty-four years old and has just graduated from Washington State with a degree in music education. She began playing piano when she was six years old. While I was the better piano player of her parents, it was Edward's lap on which she sat as he taught her "Twinkle Twinkle" for the first time. I couldn't be envious. Watching my husband and our daughter play piano is a memory I will always hold dear. Paul – the man whole stole her heart – is a pediatrician, and while he couldn't possibly live up to Edward's impossible standards, both of us can admit that he is perfect for her.

As I look out her bedroom window at the buzz of activity in the back yard, I'm filled with love as I see the faces of our family. From this vantage point, I can see Maddie's brother as he struggles with his bowtie. Masen is three years younger than this sister, but he is most definitely her _big_ brother. I blame his Uncle Emmett for those particular genes. Mase is a linebacker, and it is a true testament to my love for my child that I allowed him to put on his first football helmet. It wasn't without coaxing, and there was plenty of it from _both _sides of the family. After many amazing offers, Masen accepted a full scholarship to Boise State, and our family congregates around the television each Saturday to watch our son play for the Broncos. I still cringe each time he falls to the ground, but he promises me that it always looks much worse than it feels. I believe him, if for no other reason than that it helps me sleep at night. Masen likes to play the electric guitar and is most definitely a mama's boy.

I scan the audience and see Charlie and Carlisle sitting together, their heads close as they watch Paul speak with the minister. I'm sure they are plotting the boy's demise, if he should hurt a hair on their granddaughter's hair. Next to Charlie is my stepmother. Sue and I had a very unconventional first meeting, but she and my father have been deliriously in love ever since, and they married when Maddie was just over a year old.

Violins play, and I watch as the ushers seat the grandmothers. Esme wipes her eyes as she takes her seat next to Carlisle, and my mother takes a seat next to Charlie. Thankfully, their relationship has remained civil through the years. She and Phil divorced long ago, and she moved back to Seattle after the birth of our son. Our relationship has gone through many phases over the years, but despite her shortcomings as a mother, she has been a doting grandmother to both of our children.

I see Emmett and Rosalie and Jasper and Alice sitting directly behind the grandparents. They have remained our very best friends throughout the years. Emmett finally got his boy when Henry Carlisle Cullen was born just before Maddie's first birthday. He is an only child, but he and Maddie grew up together and are the very best of friends. To illustrate that fact, he is her "best man" today. Jasper and Alice were unable to have children of their own, but live vicariously through all of us. Our kids are so lucky to have them as their aunt and uncle.

I can't help but smile when I see Jake and Seth in the crowd. Seth is still a photographer but has long since moved on from the world of news and now works exclusively as a wedding photographer with Jake as his happy assistant. They were joined in a civil union one week after the policy was put into place in the state of Washington, and they have truly lived happily ever after.

Edward now owns his own law firm in Seattle and still loves his job. As for me, I am the Editor-in-Chief at the _Seattle Times_. We speak of early retirement from time to time, but both of us still love what we do. Our professional lives are busy, but we make time to travel and to spend as much time with our families as possible. We are still deliriously in love and unable to keep our hands off each other.

"Mom?" Maddie's voice whispers from behind me. I turn and lose my ability to breathe when I see my baby girl standing before me in her gown and veil. It isn't the first time I've seen her, but it still makes me emotional. "Will you help me with Aunt Jane's necklace?"

I blink back the tears as she hands me the same necklace I wore on my wedding day. With fumbling fingers I fasten the clasp. She turns to me then, and I gaze at her long mahogany hair and her piercing green eyes. Her heart-shaped face is so serene and happy, and her joy grounds me.

"I want a marriage just like yours," Maddie whispers softly. "Tell me I will."

I smile softly. She's said this since she was a little girl.

"You will," I whisper, and I pray it's true.

OOO

EPOV

"I feel like I should be saying something profound," I whisper softly as I lead Maddie toward the aisle. Her arm is in mine, and I feel compelled to grab her by the hand and whisk her far, far away from the man who wants to take her away from me. I suspect that Charlie Swan probably felt the same way all those years ago.

Maddie's tear-filled gaze turns my way. "I love him, Daddy."

"I know you do, sweetheart."

Paul is a good man and he loves my daughter unconditionally. While I'm comforted by that knowledge, neither of those facts make this day any easier.

We make our way down the aisle and I placed her hand into the palm of his. My beautiful little girl leans up on her tiptoes and softly kisses my cheek.

"I'll always be your girl," she promises me with a whisper, and I choke back a sob.

"I love you, baby girl."

"I love you, Daddy."

I find Bella and take my place next to her. She takes my hand and I smile gently at her. My fingers trail along her wedding ring. I notice a tear trailing down her cheek, and I softly wipe it away with the back of my hand. She is still the love of my life, and the most beautiful girl in my world.

We watch with pride as our son plays his role as the groom's best man. I admit that I was a bit puzzled with Maddie's choice of Henry as her "best man," but this was what she wanted, and Maddie's gotten everything she has ever wanted since the day she was born. Despite my indulgences, she has grown into a beautiful and loving young woman. We spoiled Masen just as much, but thankfully, our children are intelligent and compassionate adults, who learned from an early age that love is the most important thing you can have in your life.

"Maddie and Paul will now light the unity candle," the minister announces, and Bella squeezes my hand.

"That's our cue," she whispers. We walk hand-in-hand over to the piano where I take my seat. Maddie has requested that her mother sing in the wedding, and Bella insists that I play. The choice of song was left up to us, and the decision was ridiculously easy. I begin to play the opening bars, and Bella's eyes find mine as she begins to sing.

_For you, there'll be no more crying,  
For you, the sun will be shining,  
And I feel that when I'm with you,  
It's alright, I know it's right_

To you, I'll give the world  
To you, I'll never be cold  
'Cause I feel that when I'm with you,  
It's alright, I know it's right.

And the songbirds are singing,  
Like they know the score,  
And I love you, I love you, I love you,  
Like never before.

OOO

"She looks so much like you on our wedding day," I whisper against Bella's ear as I hold her to my chest. We are watching our daughter and her new husband as they are showered with bird seed before making their getaway.

"She's so happy," Bella sighs, and I tighten my hold around her waist.

"Now we just have to find Mase a girlfriend," I grin against her skin.

"I'm not sure that's necessary," Bella grins back at me, and we turn back toward the dancers at the reception. Masen is now slow dancing with one of the bridesmaids. Her head is cradled against his chest, and his eyes are closed.

"Is that Paul's sister?"

"Yeah," Bella giggles. "Her name is Bree. I think she's a cheerleader at Washington State."

We try to ignore the looks they keep giving each other as they continue dancing, and we _really _try to ignore it when we watch our son take her by the hand and lead her toward the house.

"Our son is hooking up with the bridesmaid," Bella grumbles.

"I seem to recall hooking up with a bridesmaid," I remind her softly, but I can't disguise the humor in my voice.

"I was the maid of honor," Bella mutters.

Memories flood me as I recall Jasper and Alice's wedding reception all those years ago. That weekend led to _this_ life…to _this_ moment…to this all-encompassing love that we share and see reflected in our children's eyes.

"I think that turned out okay, don't you?"

Bella turns in my arms and smiles lovingly at me. "It turned out perfectly."

I lean down and kiss her softly.

"Mrs. Cullen, will you dance with me?"

I don't wait for an answer. I just pull her close to me and wrap my arms around her. Our bodies move with the music as we gaze into each other's eyes, and just like always, the rest of the world melts away as we exist in our own little bubble. I am overcome with emotion as I stare into the eyes I love so much.

Almost twenty-five years of marriage have passed and she remains the center of my world. She is the mother of my children and the love of my life, and we have never spent a night apart since the day we were pronounced husband and wife. We are now closing one chapter of our lives, but there are more memories to make and more love to be shared. Tomorrow, we will fly to England to celebrate our anniversary. Bella will be so surprised when she finds her bags are packed and ready to go. We've devoted our lives to our family, and now, it's time to devote our lives to each other once again.

"I love you," Bella murmurs as the song comes to an end.

"I love you, Songbird," I whisper.

**OOO**

_**The End**_

**OOO**

**Thanks to Shaina for being my wonderful beta. She listens to my crazy ideas and fixes my mistakes and does it all lightning quick. You have become such a good friend, and I love you.**

**Thanks to KatMom for being my pre-reader. Lots of love to my readers on Twitter and to the Songbird thread followers over at Twilighted. Thanks to Wayward Girl for making my blog! Thanks to ms_ambrosia for making the beautiful banner for this story.**

**Thanks to those of you who have nominated/voted for this story for so many different awards. It is so humbling to know that you love my stories enough to consider them worthy. **

**To my readers – words cannot express how much you mean to me. I used to be thrilled to get twenty-five reviews per chapter. Now, I get so many that I find it impossible to reply to them all. I promise that I read every single review, and I cherish them. Thanks for reading, reviewing, and recommending.**

_**Solace**_** is my new story, and I hope you check it out. I also have a one-shot in the works, so if you're interested, make sure you have me on author alert.**

**One last time, let me know what you think. Love you all!**


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